I was labeled and hated it
The Millers
I am 37 years old and was labeled as a child. I was considered to be
hyperactive. I was on medication from 7 till 11. Then one time I fell and
hit my head, next thing I knew I was epileptic and on another medication.
My whole childhood I heard everyone in the family say, "she's hyper". I grew
up embarrassed, ashamed, and with the feeling that I was not capable of
anything. I would pray and say, "Please God, let me grow out of this". My
mothers' bookshelves (notice I said, my mothers and not the families
bookshelves...gives you some insight here) were filled with "help that
child" books. I saw them and I heard her talk to other people about me. I
visited the doctors with the bright colored waiting rooms so they could
reaffirm that I was a rotten kid who needed help. In my twenties, people
still used the term about me, "ohhh, your so hyper". So my twenties were
depressing. I found ways of escape. Needless to say, I excelled in the
workforce. I was a great multi-tasker and leader, but because of those deep
labels I still felt very insecure about my abilities.
Now I have an incredible daughter whom many feel the need to say to me,
"wow, she's hyper".
I have never and never will buy any "hyperactive" books or materials. I
will never join a group to discuss her hyperness or to get ideas on how to
deal with her. RU is acceptance and that is working for us. She knows that
she is amazing, loved, and fun to be with. When someone says something
about her like, "she's hyper", I shut him or her down immediately. It
always cracks me up how another parent feels they can say my daughter is
hyper, but I would never look at another parent and say something like, "oh,
your child just sits there, what's wrong with them".
I know that my daughter is going to grow up being secure of her choices and
who she is because of the choices her father and I make.
By the way, I find it funny how in my 30's most of the women I know cannot
understand how I can get so much done and do so much. Isn't it funny how
labels change their meaning as you get older...so why label at all. I even
thought of deleted this and not sending it. To me, putting this down could
even place in my mind something that could change my course and dealings
with my daughter. But I am going to send it because I know from experience
what any type of labeling can do to a kid.
Crystal in NM
hyperactive. I was on medication from 7 till 11. Then one time I fell and
hit my head, next thing I knew I was epileptic and on another medication.
My whole childhood I heard everyone in the family say, "she's hyper". I grew
up embarrassed, ashamed, and with the feeling that I was not capable of
anything. I would pray and say, "Please God, let me grow out of this". My
mothers' bookshelves (notice I said, my mothers and not the families
bookshelves...gives you some insight here) were filled with "help that
child" books. I saw them and I heard her talk to other people about me. I
visited the doctors with the bright colored waiting rooms so they could
reaffirm that I was a rotten kid who needed help. In my twenties, people
still used the term about me, "ohhh, your so hyper". So my twenties were
depressing. I found ways of escape. Needless to say, I excelled in the
workforce. I was a great multi-tasker and leader, but because of those deep
labels I still felt very insecure about my abilities.
Now I have an incredible daughter whom many feel the need to say to me,
"wow, she's hyper".
I have never and never will buy any "hyperactive" books or materials. I
will never join a group to discuss her hyperness or to get ideas on how to
deal with her. RU is acceptance and that is working for us. She knows that
she is amazing, loved, and fun to be with. When someone says something
about her like, "she's hyper", I shut him or her down immediately. It
always cracks me up how another parent feels they can say my daughter is
hyper, but I would never look at another parent and say something like, "oh,
your child just sits there, what's wrong with them".
I know that my daughter is going to grow up being secure of her choices and
who she is because of the choices her father and I make.
By the way, I find it funny how in my 30's most of the women I know cannot
understand how I can get so much done and do so much. Isn't it funny how
labels change their meaning as you get older...so why label at all. I even
thought of deleted this and not sending it. To me, putting this down could
even place in my mind something that could change my course and dealings
with my daughter. But I am going to send it because I know from experience
what any type of labeling can do to a kid.
Crystal in NM
Gold Standard
Rockin' post Crystal! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Jacki
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of The Millers
Sent: Monday, January 09, 2006 10:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] I was labeled and hated it
I am 37 years old and was labeled as a child. I was considered to be
hyperactive. I was on medication from 7 till 11. Then one time I fell and
hit my head, next thing I knew I was epileptic and on another medication.
My whole childhood I heard everyone in the family say, "she's hyper". I grew
up embarrassed, ashamed, and with the feeling that I was not capable of
anything. I would pray and say, "Please God, let me grow out of this". My
mothers' bookshelves (notice I said, my mothers and not the families
bookshelves...gives you some insight here) were filled with "help that
child" books. I saw them and I heard her talk to other people about me. I
visited the doctors with the bright colored waiting rooms so they could
reaffirm that I was a rotten kid who needed help. In my twenties, people
still used the term about me, "ohhh, your so hyper". So my twenties were
depressing. I found ways of escape. Needless to say, I excelled in the
workforce. I was a great multi-tasker and leader, but because of those deep
labels I still felt very insecure about my abilities.
Now I have an incredible daughter whom many feel the need to say to me,
"wow, she's hyper".
I have never and never will buy any "hyperactive" books or materials. I
will never join a group to discuss her hyperness or to get ideas on how to
deal with her. RU is acceptance and that is working for us. She knows that
she is amazing, loved, and fun to be with. When someone says something
about her like, "she's hyper", I shut him or her down immediately. It
always cracks me up how another parent feels they can say my daughter is
hyper, but I would never look at another parent and say something like, "oh,
your child just sits there, what's wrong with them".
I know that my daughter is going to grow up being secure of her choices and
who she is because of the choices her father and I make.
By the way, I find it funny how in my 30's most of the women I know cannot
understand how I can get so much done and do so much. Isn't it funny how
labels change their meaning as you get older...so why label at all. I even
thought of deleted this and not sending it. To me, putting this down could
even place in my mind something that could change my course and dealings
with my daughter. But I am going to send it because I know from experience
what any type of labeling can do to a kid.
Crystal in NM
Yahoo! Groups Links
Jacki
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of The Millers
Sent: Monday, January 09, 2006 10:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] I was labeled and hated it
I am 37 years old and was labeled as a child. I was considered to be
hyperactive. I was on medication from 7 till 11. Then one time I fell and
hit my head, next thing I knew I was epileptic and on another medication.
My whole childhood I heard everyone in the family say, "she's hyper". I grew
up embarrassed, ashamed, and with the feeling that I was not capable of
anything. I would pray and say, "Please God, let me grow out of this". My
mothers' bookshelves (notice I said, my mothers and not the families
bookshelves...gives you some insight here) were filled with "help that
child" books. I saw them and I heard her talk to other people about me. I
visited the doctors with the bright colored waiting rooms so they could
reaffirm that I was a rotten kid who needed help. In my twenties, people
still used the term about me, "ohhh, your so hyper". So my twenties were
depressing. I found ways of escape. Needless to say, I excelled in the
workforce. I was a great multi-tasker and leader, but because of those deep
labels I still felt very insecure about my abilities.
Now I have an incredible daughter whom many feel the need to say to me,
"wow, she's hyper".
I have never and never will buy any "hyperactive" books or materials. I
will never join a group to discuss her hyperness or to get ideas on how to
deal with her. RU is acceptance and that is working for us. She knows that
she is amazing, loved, and fun to be with. When someone says something
about her like, "she's hyper", I shut him or her down immediately. It
always cracks me up how another parent feels they can say my daughter is
hyper, but I would never look at another parent and say something like, "oh,
your child just sits there, what's wrong with them".
I know that my daughter is going to grow up being secure of her choices and
who she is because of the choices her father and I make.
By the way, I find it funny how in my 30's most of the women I know cannot
understand how I can get so much done and do so much. Isn't it funny how
labels change their meaning as you get older...so why label at all. I even
thought of deleted this and not sending it. To me, putting this down could
even place in my mind something that could change my course and dealings
with my daughter. But I am going to send it because I know from experience
what any type of labeling can do to a kid.
Crystal in NM
Yahoo! Groups Links
Sandra Dodd
On Jan 9, 2006, at 10:06 AM, The Millers wrote:
THANK you for sharing all of that. It's right at the heart of why I
dislike labelling.
I've been insulted (as a kid and as an adult) by people saying I
couldn't POSSIBLY have actually done this or that, because there
hadn't been time. I'm just fast. I've been insulted by people for
posting so much and having such a big website. <g> Honestly. I read
fast, I type fast, it's not hard work at all. I don't need much
sleep. I can talk fast. I have to sometimes consciously speak more
slowly and it feels like slow motion.
I see all that in Holly. Holly's talkative. Holly's energetic.
Holly could have adults demanding she be drugged to a slower speed if
she were put at the mercy of other adults, but Holly's fine and
Holly's home. She doesn't HAVE to be around 29 other kids who are
being inconvenienced by her. She doesn't HAVE to have friends or
marry someone who won't appreciate her for what she is. She doesn't
HAVE to find ways to fill a 55 minute class period after she's "done
the work" in ten or fifteen minutes, as I did year after year after
year.
There's nothing wrong with "hyperactivity." There's something wrong
with trying to make everyone the same speed, to press the slower
moving kids to hurry and the zippy kids to slow down.
Unschooling works the same for all of them.
I'm sorry, Crystal, that people weren't more accepting of your
particular pace and activity level. Sorry about the meds.
Sandra
> By the way, I find it funny how in my 30's most of the women I knowI'm really glad you didn't delete it.
> cannot
> understand how I can get so much done and do so much. Isn't it
> funny how
> labels change their meaning as you get older...so why label at
> all. I even
> thought of deleted this and not sending it.
THANK you for sharing all of that. It's right at the heart of why I
dislike labelling.
I've been insulted (as a kid and as an adult) by people saying I
couldn't POSSIBLY have actually done this or that, because there
hadn't been time. I'm just fast. I've been insulted by people for
posting so much and having such a big website. <g> Honestly. I read
fast, I type fast, it's not hard work at all. I don't need much
sleep. I can talk fast. I have to sometimes consciously speak more
slowly and it feels like slow motion.
I see all that in Holly. Holly's talkative. Holly's energetic.
Holly could have adults demanding she be drugged to a slower speed if
she were put at the mercy of other adults, but Holly's fine and
Holly's home. She doesn't HAVE to be around 29 other kids who are
being inconvenienced by her. She doesn't HAVE to have friends or
marry someone who won't appreciate her for what she is. She doesn't
HAVE to find ways to fill a 55 minute class period after she's "done
the work" in ten or fifteen minutes, as I did year after year after
year.
There's nothing wrong with "hyperactivity." There's something wrong
with trying to make everyone the same speed, to press the slower
moving kids to hurry and the zippy kids to slow down.
Unschooling works the same for all of them.
I'm sorry, Crystal, that people weren't more accepting of your
particular pace and activity level. Sorry about the meds.
Sandra