Sandra Dodd

-=-A quote that I have on my office wall says "It is the worst form
of immaturity to allow one's
feelings and desires to control life".-=-


What should control life then?

multimomma

I was thinking in terms of controlling my temper. I can get frustrated, irritated, etc, but I
don't have to let it run my day. I can choose to be happy, I can choose to yell, I can choose
to laugh, or I can choose to pout. It is beneficial to me, because it reminds me that I
always have a choice in how to react to my kids. That was the context that the author was
speaking in as well, in 'A Covenant Marriage', in regards to how we treat our spouses.

I'm a recovering anger addict...most of it in relation to my childhood. I wish I would have
resolved those issues BC (before children) but I didn't. I didn't realize I had those issues til
I had children. Now we're working on it together. Often people who yell (me) feel that they
are in control, they don't even realize that they've lost control because as a child, they
knew that the adults that yelled at them had control.

Even more reason for me to be a better parent than the example I grew up with. I had no
good examples.
Melissa


--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@S...> wrote:
>
> -=-A quote that I have on my office wall says "It is the worst form
> of immaturity to allow one's
> feelings and desires to control life".-=-
>
>
> What should control life then?
>

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 2, 2006, at 4:11 PM, multimomma wrote:

-=-Often people who yell (me) feel that they
are in control, they don't even realize that they've lost control
because as a child, they
knew that the adults that yelled at them had control. -=-

I never thought of it that way. How true.
When I lose my temper, Kirby (my oldest) looks at me in a way that
lets me know I'm not coming across as clever and sensible at ALL.
He's like a mirror in which I look like an idiot, sometimes.

> >
> > -=-A quote that I have on my office wall says "It is the worst form
> > of immaturity to allow one's
> > feelings and desires to control life".-=-


Maybe letting immature feelings and desires control one's life is a
bad thing. <g>
On the other hand, my children's feelings and desires have had lots
of effect on their own lives and mine, and their dads, and they were
pretty immature. They're more mature now, I believe, directly
because we assisted them in feeling and responding to their desires
and feelings.

I don't think it's immature for me to feel that I would like to make
my children's lives better. Maybe it's past "a feeling" at that
point, and on to explainable logic. Maybe not. I have the desire to
read and write about unschooling every day. I do it because I want
to, because it feels good but I don't think it's an immature thing to
avoid.

I don't like the quote. Maybe I just don't get it, but it seems to
negate feelings and desires. Even the Dalai Lama has feelings and
desires, I bet. I bet the Pope has feelings and desires. Even
Jimmy Carter has.

Sandra