homefamilyfour

Hello,

I am new to the group and hope someone can provide us with some
assistance or encouragement. One of our daughters, 9 1/2years old
was diagnosed with cavities in June and was very upset (sobbing) and
frightened when the dentist told us about it. After trying another
dentist in September for a second opinion, hoping that maybe a change
in venue might help, the good news was that his judgment was that she
only had one cavity that really needed taking care of, the others
that the other dentist wanted to do seemed watchable. The bad news
was that as I tried to help her calm and relax herself to try the
procedure, he tried to pull her back into the chair forcibly to "get
started" at which point Celia said to me: "Mommy I wish I could do
this, but I can't." I said "stop", helped her out of the seat and we
left a visibly disgusted dentist who told me when I asked him if he
had any other suggestions that he has never seen a child have this
problem in his 25 years of practice and that "he couldn't do a thing
with her."
We have been reassuring and are hoping that at some point she will
feel able to tackle this but it's going on six months and clearly she
is not ready to undergo dental treatment from an emotional
standpoint, but I am concerned that from a medical/physical health
standpoint we need to help her through this without coercing her or
forcing her but somehow need to get this taken care of. We're at the
point that if I could do her filling myself I'd give it a try (she
asked me if I could!)Has anyone had a similar experience? I would be
very grateful to anyone who can clue me in here to what I can do to
help my daughter get through this.

Pattie

hollywoodapi

Dear Pattie,

I am not sure what part of the country you are in, but in South
Florida area we have several holistic dentists who are very gentle
with children, who would never use force to do a procedure and
overall have a special way to make children comfortable with dental
procedures.

"Veryyoungkidsteeth" is a good yahoo! group where you can ask
questions related to dental procedures and non-traditional ways to
approach these procedures, as well as ways to prevent future cavities
by using essential oils with toothpaste.

Kind regards,
Anna (Miami, Florida)

--- In [email protected], "homefamilyfour"
<JMCAUSEYJ@a...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> I am new to the group and hope someone can provide us with some
> assistance or encouragement. One of our daughters, 9 1/2years old
> was diagnosed with cavities in June and was very upset (sobbing)
and
> frightened when the dentist told us about it. After trying another
> dentist in September for a second opinion, hoping that maybe a
change
> in venue might help, the good news was that his judgment was that
she
> only had one cavity that really needed taking care of, the others
> that the other dentist wanted to do seemed watchable. The bad news
> was that as I tried to help her calm and relax herself to try the
> procedure, he tried to pull her back into the chair forcibly
to "get
> started" at which point Celia said to me: "Mommy I wish I could do
> this, but I can't." I said "stop", helped her out of the seat and
we
> left a visibly disgusted dentist who told me when I asked him if he
> had any other suggestions that he has never seen a child have this
> problem in his 25 years of practice and that "he couldn't do a
thing
> with her."
> We have been reassuring and are hoping that at some point she will
> feel able to tackle this but it's going on six months and clearly
she
> is not ready to undergo dental treatment from an emotional
> standpoint, but I am concerned that from a medical/physical health
> standpoint we need to help her through this without coercing her or
> forcing her but somehow need to get this taken care of. We're at
the
> point that if I could do her filling myself I'd give it a try (she
> asked me if I could!)Has anyone had a similar experience? I would
be
> very grateful to anyone who can clue me in here to what I can do to
> help my daughter get through this.
>
> Pattie
>

[email protected]

Dear Anna,

Thanks for telling us about veryyoungkidsteeth -- I will look this group up
immediately! We live in Northern Virginia so it would be a bit of a journey to
get to Florida but, frankly at this point, to have a dentist that my child
felt really comfortable with would be worth a trip, even a long one.

Pattie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<<< I tried to help her calm and relax herself to try the
procedure, he tried to pull her back into the chair forcibly to "get
started" at which point Celia said to me: "Mommy I wish I could do
this, but I can't." I said "stop", helped her out of the seat and we
left a visibly disgusted dentist who told me when I asked him if he
had any other suggestions that he has never seen a child have this
problem in his 25 years of practice and that "he couldn't do a thing
with her." >>>>

Pattie,

Dh and I went through this exact situation with several dental surgeons with
my dd (5.75 at the time) who needed a tooth extracted and 7 fillings
recently. I wrote an article about my experience that was published in the
last (Sept) issue of Live Free, Learn Free.

www.livefreelearnfree.com for the back issue.

The short version is that Jayn was very reluctant to allow the several
dental surgeons to work on her teeth, and they were all rude and pushy. At
first we tried to persuade Jayn, but then we realized that we should listen
to her first "no" at once, and just leave.

Finally after several tries we found a wonderful pediatric full-service
dentist who was kind, has a great office space, and was understanding and
not trying to play on fears and create false urgency. When *Jayn* trusted
her we moved forward, with no trauma.

These kind and nice dentists do exist - although "holistic" refers to a
medical philosophy more than necessarily a child-centered kindness
philosophy, as we found. They may still have the idea that the child should
do as they are told (for their own good of course).

Dentists speak another language. The receptionist will *always* say "Oh yes,
he/she is very kind and gentle with the children". Humph. Continue to ask
the other attachment parents and Unschoolers in your local area for
recommendations. Visit the offices. Once you find the right person, you will
be amazed at how much better everyone feels.

Trust your dd and your own feelings. You can find the right
practitioner...really. Good luck.

Robyn L. Coburn





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Gold Standard

Hi Anna,

Ditto to Robyn's thoughts that you absolutely can find a sensitive dentist.
It just takes active looking, and maybe driving a distance (though I agree
Florida may be too far :o)

My ds could not stand the feeling of being trapped in the chair. And he was
also a mouth-breather, which is really hard with all that stuff in your
mouth! Panic came quickly for him. We found someone who understood all of
this and just took it one step at a time, at his pace.

Some dentists advertise that they work with special needs kids, and they
tend to be more sensitive in general as well.

Also, have you heard of xylitol? For a couple of years we brushed our teeth
with it straight as dh is a doc who just knows these things told us it
helped enormously with tooth decay. Then lo and behold Tom's toothpaste
started adding xylitol and we use that now. Xylitol is a sweetener made from
sugar, oddly enough, but does not spark the insulin reaction that straight
sugar does, so it is great for people looking to avoid that, like diabetics.
The tooth health is another great benefit.

I have had an area of my mouth that had been a problem for years (hate the
dentist myself) where I was supposed to have a root canal or extraction, and
when I started brushing with xylitol, all the symptoms went away. It's been
fine for the last three years. I don't know if that is typical or not, but
it is worth a try to help while looking for a good dentist.

Good luck!
Jacki

[email protected]

Thanks Jacki for your thoughts (and the recommendation about
xylitol...interesting). Our search continues for a good, sensitive, understanding dentist.

Pattie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Robyn,

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, it really helps. I am
ordering that back issue today! I understand what you are saying about "holistic"
not necessarily meaning "child-friendly." "Pediatric" dentist doesn't
necessarily mean child-friendly either, for that matter. I've seen an awful lot of
so-called pediatric dentists who were manhandling or otherwise forcing
procedures upon terrified children during "treatment". The last dentist we went to
had an office administrator who told me: "well, just tell her we all have to go
through this." My thinking on this is that it's probably never a good idea to
do something just because someone says we all do it...And since when can't we
find a way to improve on something that causes grown men and women so much
fear that many of them put off dental treatment! Thanks again for your thoughts!
Pattie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]