Sandra Dodd

A little boy wanted a candy bar in a store, and the dad wanted him to
behave differently when shopping trip wasn't for or about him. So he
writes to me berating his ex wife. Either he googled "spoiled
children" and found my article (but seems not to have read it) or his
wife has mentioned me so he wants to come and take out his
frustration on me. Such things have happened many times before.
Ex-husbands, women's mothers, mothers-in-law, women's grandmothers
have written to me thinking maybe something they complain about will
make me see that everything I do and believe is just wrong.
Meanwhile my own children are peaceful and happy.

So I've had two long e-mails from a guy who, in the first one was
very careful not even to say "he" or "she" about "the child," who is
twelve and doesn't read well enough for the dad to give him or the
mother a break.

If you read this, please compare it to your own children's
situations. If your children are better off, that is a gift in which
you can rejoice today. If your children are also the victims of
struggle and disapproval, maybe this will help inspire you to give
them more peace and positive regard/love/gentleness.

This is my second response to the guy, and I hope the last. I hope
he really will try to shift his position.
----------------------------------------------



> -=-I have two young girls that do not behave in this fashion.-=-

Are they also the victims of a horrible divorce in which the parents
insult and sue one another?

Neediness is real neediness. Being unfulfilled and not feeling safe
is real pain and fear.

-=-I have spent a fortune on family
lawers and all they can do is assail the character of my ex. -=-

That's all you've done in two e-mails to me, and I don't even know
you, and I'm being paid NONE of your fortune.

Practical answers are all I gave you, but you do have to do the work
of reading and trying to understand it yourself.

-=-I am struggling to understand why it is better for
a child to be rewarded by acting out in public,-=-

If you can change your point of view and the language you use (even
in your head) to define behaviors, you would not need to struggle so
much. Your communications and relationship are indirect. You're
seeing him through a filter. Learn to see him directly and
communicate with him without the internal voices of mothers or
grandmothers or nosy neighbors or new wives reciting things like
"acting out in public."


A better writer for you to read might be Joyce Fetteroll. She an
engineer and writes more logically and in less relationship/emotion
based ways than other unschooling writers.
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/

-=-I do, however, think you have missed the point -=-

I don't think I missed the point. You want to use me in a personal
struggle that is already so out of hand that you couldn't stay
together for the sake of a boy who is now bereft of an intact family
and has a father who insults him and his mother when he might be
comforted in the moment by a simple candy bar. I think you're
missing the point, not I.

If he had as much attention, love and positive regard as you could
pour out on him, a candy bar would be a small blip on a distant
horizon, but you choose instead to treat him as a faulty creature who
needs Sylvan cram-school before he is worthy of acceptance.

IF you would actually go to those webpages I voluntarily sent you
(which I also voluntarily created and make available, and pay for the
webspace to keep them on)� if you had read them thoughtfully and with
a sincere desire to learn, you might be changing now instead of
continuing to recite to yourself that it's not your fault, your ex
wife is wrong, you are right, she's ruining your child, the children
you have with you aren't that way, etc.

-=-Again, I am asking for objective advice.-=-

I think by "objective" you mean "in my favor." You aren't the
wounded party here, your son is. He is needy. He is lacking. If he
is damaged, it's by you too, and so start to repair that damage
instead of making it worse.

If you have the urge to write to me again, go to Joyce's page and
read, read, read instead. Make your son the star of his own life.
Find what he is good at and take your spotlight off what he's not
good at yet.

If you are unfamiliar with Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, DO
read that for sure. Sylvan Learning won't tell you about it, they
will just keep taking your money. For free, you can learn more.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
Learning doesn't happen in a child whose physical needs aren't being
met, and whose needs for love and belonging aren't met. That's not
me talking, that's Abraham Maslow, who is studied by every educator
and whose basic ideas would help you in this situation and all others
for the rest of your life. It's just good stuff to know.

Doing a little better in every decision you make, in your actions and
your words and your thoughts, could lead to doing a little better
each subsequent time. If you dig in your heels and insist to yourself
that you don't need to change any of your behavior or thinking,
nothing and no one will be able to help your situation.

Good luck, Merry Christmas, and read at Joyce's page.
If you finish Joyce's page, please go back and read the pages I
suggested in the earlier e-mail, and don't read them for how you can
find your ex wife wrong, but how you can make the relationship
between you and your son better. If you don't do it soon, it will be
too late.

Sandra
------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------

(P.S. His posts were called "spoiled children" and I changed the
subject of this one to "Parenting". The webpages I had recommended
were http://SandraDodd.com/spoiled
http://SandraDodd.com/food
http://SandraDodd.com/reading
and he hadn't even had time to have read them before he wrote to me
again.)




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

multimomma

I'm really glad you said that. Today after volunteering at the community center for hours,
we took ourselves and our kids (all seven) out to eat dinner at Golden Corral. The kids
were being normal, not really even out of what I would consider the crazy factor, with so
many kids it just looks like more! I was fine with it, until two older men sat down at the
table next to us. They kept staring. They were there for an hour and just kept looking at
our boys (ages two and four). After a while it started to get to me, after half an hour, every
twitch they made seemed to be misbehaving.

My big struggle is to leave behind those expectations that were drilled into me by my
mom, every movement, every thought, every THING judged by "what would people think?"
My husband too, because the longer they watched, the more dh tried to negotiate Dan
(2yo) into eating just 'one more bite of green beans' before he could have ice cream. I
mean, I expect that my kids will usually choose to eat healthy, and they generally do. I
have the kids who don't ask for candy at the checkout, they ask if they can have some of
the fruit we just bought. So for him to eat most of his green beans would have been good
enough.

anyway, don't know where I'm going with this, just tired and this resonated in me. Wanted
to share a big "yes!" while I was still thinking of it.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate,
Melissa

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@S...> wrote:
> If you can change your point of view and the language you use (even
> in your head) to define behaviors, you would not need to struggle so
> much. Your communications and relationship are indirect. You're
> seeing him through a filter. Learn to see him directly and
> communicate with him without the internal voices of mothers or
> grandmothers or nosy neighbors or new wives reciting things like
> "acting out in public."

Kathleen Gehrke

--- In [email protected], "multimomma"
<autismhelp@c...> wrote:acting our in public...>
Melissa,
Kathleen from MT here. Mother of nine kidlets.. Well two are in
their 20's, but I struggle with the same society crud.Those darn
voices.
I stress and want to start micromanaging my wonderful kids when I
feel someone may judge us. People do stare and notice when you
travel in a pack. It for sure is my baggage that I am shedding
daily. They are all fine.
Each of them are so unique and beautiful I have just started trying
to smile at people and keep in mind how privileged I am to be
sharing their lives with them. I keep saying to myself." They are
probably just jealous that I get to be here and they have to be
there all alone. Or only out with their so and so who look is
talking on a cell phone.. I get interesting conversation and
excitement every darn minute."
Have a great Christmas.
Just wanted to add a side holiday note.. Because we have listenned
to all of you and set ourselves free of many things we had Christmas
one day early. It took the stress away from our kids. I had several
really starting to stress over the holiday package.. So we did away
with it.. Now on the rest of this long weekend we are gaming and
riding and playing.. It is lovely. Today we are doing to big meal
stuff and kicking back.. I am learning Tetris.. and Animal Crossing.
I am not a game expert, but the kids are happy to help me.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE
Kathleen

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 25, 2005, at 2:09 PM, Kathleen Gehrke wrote:

> Because we have listenned
> to all of you and set ourselves free of many things we had Christmas
> one day early. It took the stress away from our kids.

------------------------

Christmas Eve we went carolling; Holly went with me, Keith, and four
of our longtime friends (all childless). In many of the homes they
had already opened gifts, especially those without children.

Our tradition here is to wait until morning, and to take turns
opening a gift, basically the person with the biggest pile or who
hasn't opened one for a while. Then we all get to see each gift in a
leisurely fashion, tell the recipient what we know about it, etc.
Today, especially, it was kind of a big pile of stuff for everyone,
though we'll know who gets to take it as people move away.

I'm watching a movie Kirby got. Marty was in Kirby's room watching
Zelda cartoons and then Karate Kid. They were all excited by the set
of Firefly Keith got, and I had lots of fun with a book Marty got
called New Mexico then and now, with side-by-side photos (modern
photos taken to match a photo of fifty or a hundred years ago, and
it's relatively easy here to match them up when there are mountains
on the horizon).

I made fancy onion/dill bread and we made a glazed ham and made ham
and melted-swiss sandwiches when people were hungry. Holly and I
fell asleep to Marty watching a Strongbad video, and slept by the
fireplace for a while. Peaceful, quiet day.

Sandra

NANCY OWENS

What is it about Golden Corral? <bwg> I understand the feeling of 'what will the ___ think?' It can be consuming, especially in a public place or when with someone, friend or relative, who can be critical. A few years back, Darin's mom had taken the kids and I out to lunch at the GC. I like going to buffet type places not because of the food, but because it affords the kids more choices than say a typical meal at home. They get to assert more independence in their choices and it shows me that they can and do make good choices. I don't worry so much anymore about that sort of thing, but when they were younger and we were just starting unschooling, it was a good reinforcement tool for ME. Anyway, we were there with Darin's mom, and both kids had broccoli on their plates. The server noticed it was not only on their plates, but that they were eating it with pleasure. So she made a comment about kids and vegetables and so forth and was it their choice and they liked it or did they have
to eat it, kind of statement. Before I had a chance to smile and say they eat it because they like it. My MIL scowled and said, 'But it has cheese on it.' WHAT??? Who cares! But she cares. The cheese negated the broccoli, made it mere junk food in her eyes. Another time she came over and the kids and I were making pizza. We had spent the morning picking vegetables from our little garden and part of the afternoon at a local cheese store, walking around having samples, asking questions about the this and that of cheese and the making of cheese. So we came away with fresh mozzarella, Havarti, piezella, and some others with plans to make a wonderful pizza for dinner that night. But to my MIL it was pizza. A junk food. It didn't matter that the crust was homemade, kneaded with love. <g> Or that the veges were fresh from that morning or the cheese not processed and packaged, but fresh and full of good things. It didn't matter that the kids were enjoying being in the kitchen with a mom
who mostly claims that area of the house as hers and hers alone. Junk Junk Junk. Pizza=Junk, Broccoli with cheese=Junk. For some, if it doesn't hurt it isn't good for you.

Now that we don't have contact with her it is easier. But when we did spend time with her it took time, afterward, to deprogram. Not so much the kids, but me, and Darin too. To get that critical voice and look out of our heads. To not second guess things like school, food choices, TV/video game/computer times. To be able to not care about strangers looks. To not hear our mothers/in-laws/grandparents voices in our heads. I believe it does get easier to filter those voices out of my head. It will get easier for you too.
~Nancy

multimomma <autismhelp@...> wrote:
I'm really glad you said that. Today after volunteering at the community center for hours,
we took ourselves and our kids (all seven) out to eat dinner at Golden Corral. <snip>
My big struggle is to leave behind those expectations that were drilled into me by my
mom, every movement, every thought, every THING judged by "what would people think?"
My husband too, because the longer they watched, the more dh tried to negotiate Dan
(2yo) into eating just 'one more bite of green beans' <snip>
Wanted to share a big "yes!" while I was still thinking of it.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate,
Melissa

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@S...> wrote:
> If you can change your point of view and the language you use (even
> in your head) to define behaviors, you would not need to struggle so
> much. Your communications and relationship are indirect. You're
> seeing him through a filter. Learn to see him directly and
> communicate with him without the internal voices of mothers or
> grandmothers or nosy neighbors or new wives reciting things like
> "acting out in public."


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 26, 2005, at 3:26 PM, NANCY OWENS wrote:

> What is it about Golden Corral? <bwg>


Holly and I were eating at Golden Corral and a woman kept looking at
us, and that was fine.

After a while she came over and said she had been noticing how (can't
remember the exact words, but something like) composed and mature
Holly was and how much fun we seemed to be having together, and she
just wanted to let us know it was a nice thing to see. We started
talking about homeschooling and unschooling and stayed another half
hour. She was with her son, who was a couple of years younger than
Holly. This was a few years ago, so maybe Holly was ten or eleven?

She seemed truly interested in more information.

I gave her some information and I came across her name in my address
book the other day, but I didn't hear back from her after I e-mailed
her some stuff and a follow-up thing a while after, so I left her alone.


-=-My MIL scowled and said, 'But it has cheese on it.' WHAT???-=-

Hey that's about mothers in law, not about golden corral. <g>

-=-To not hear our mothers/in-laws/grandparents voices in our heads.
I believe it does get easier to filter those voices out of my head.-=-

I agree. Once you figure out how to shush just one message, you KNOW
you can shush another one. Once you've neutralized just one cranky
old relative, you know how to disable the nattering ghosts of the
others.

Sandra

Kathleen Gehrke

> Christmas Eve we went carolling; Holly went with me, Keith, and
four
> of our longtime friends (all childless). In many of the homes
they
> had already opened gifts, especially those without children.
>
> Our tradition here is to wait until morning, and to take turns
> opening a gift, basically the person with the biggest pile or who
> hasn't opened one for a while. Then we all get to see each gift
in a
> leisurely fashion, tell the recipient what we know about it,
etc.
> Today, especially, it was kind of a big pile of stuff for
everyone,
> though we'll know who gets to take it as people move away.
>
> I'm watching a movie Kirby got. Marty was in Kirby's room
watching
> Zelda cartoons and then Karate Kid. They were all excited by the
set
> of Firefly Keith got, and I had lots of fun with a book Marty got
> called New Mexico then and now, with side-by-side photos (modern
> photos taken to match a photo of fifty or a hundred years ago,
and
> it's relatively easy here to match them up when there are
mountains
> on the horizon).
>
> I made fancy onion/dill bread and we made a glazed ham and made
ham
> and melted-swiss sandwiches when people were hungry. Holly and I
> fell asleep to Marty watching a Strongbad video, and slept by the
> fireplace for a while. Peaceful, quiet day.
>
> Sandra
>
Sandra,
Your holiday sounds peaceful and joyous.
Merry Christmas
Kathleen

queenjane555

>Holly and I were eating at Golden Corral and a woman kept looking
>at us, and that was fine.
>After a while she came over and said she had been noticing how
>(can't remember the exact words, but something like) composed and
>mature Holly was and how much fun we seemed to be having
>together, and she just wanted to let us know it was a nice thing
>to see.

That happened to us, too, at White Castle (burger place)... I was
telling Seamus the entire plot (condensed!)of "The Mists of Avalon"
which i was reading at the time, and we were comparing it to the
Merlin stories we'd read, talking all about how an author can take
one story and imagine how it would be from another point of
view....we talk like this all the time. But an older guy was in the
next booth, listening, and when he was leaving he stopped by our
table and commented about it, how smart/articulate Seamus seemed,
and how he didnt often see parents and kids talking like that.

We spend alot of time at Dennys, since its the only 24 hr restaurant
around here and Seamus is often awake and wanting to do something at
midnight or later. We usually get the same waitress, who is friendly
and doesnt mind bringing lots of ranch dressing (which seamus puts
on everything). We can sit there for hours and hours just talking
about everything, from videogames, to mythology, or books, or
whatever.

Seamus has a character, Kronok, on the RPG Everquest II. Kronok is a
barbarian. It was in Denny's that he started telling me all about
Kronok, the barbarian, how he grew up, what adventures he's gone on
(some of which he made up, and some of which is stuff he has really
encountered in the game)....it was so good i told him i wanted to
start keeping an outline, notes, so we could remember the story. I
keep a little notebook in my purse and its now filled with notes
from "The Chronicles of Kronok"....basically he's writing a book!
And he's very excited about it (actually i am too!)....i'm totally
freaking amazed at how much the kid knows. We talked a little bit
about how writers sometimes use a thing called a thesaurus (and
later showed him the one we have at home), how instead of
writing "Kronok walked..." a million times he could say "he trekked"
or "he travelled" or whatever. That got seamus really thinking about
embellishing the story, really describing everything.

He also plays an online game called "Second Life" (basically a sims-
like world), he created a sign for his casino that was supposedly
written by Kronok....he said he wanted it to sound old fashioned,
from another time, so he used "Ye" and "-eth" alot. He can also
create weapons, like a staff, or swords....later he wanted to show
me what he had made, but we were at home and our computer lives at
my mom's house. So he found a paper and some colored pencils and
drew them for me. Even though we have plenty of art supplies around,
lots of "Learn to draw" books, he hasnt really shown an interest in
about a year (liked to draw alot before that)....but because of this
computer game, he was drawing.

Quite honestly, i am not sure our unschooling journey would be
progressing like it is if it *werent* for videogames and computer
(online)games. Anyone who says that videogames are evil, that they
keep kids from learning, just isnt paying attention.

Katherine,
who bought a ton of videogames for christmas, and was happy to do it!

NANCY OWENS

Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
****On Dec 26, 2005, at 3:26 PM, NANCY OWENS wrote:

> What is it about Golden Corral? <bwg>
<snip>

-=-My MIL scowled and said, 'But it has cheese on it.' WHAT???-=-

Hey that's about mothers in law, not about golden corral. <g>*****


You're right, its not a Golden Corral story. <g>
There were actually three points of view in my story. Mine was that the kids made the choice of what to eat. Not an encouraged choice (by me or anyone else) or a forced choice (which isn't a choice at all), but by their own violation, eating what they liked. The waitress' view of *isn't that great* and my MIL's view that it wasn't good enough. And how easy it was for me, then, to be sucked into that mentality. To find myself questioning my own decisions. Maybe what I was doing wasn't good enough, because what the kids had done wasn't good enough. But now I realize that for her (my MIL), it won't ever matter. The kids could fix themselves a wholesome plate of veges, a small amount of low in fat meat, a glass of milk, whatever, and then choose a bowl of ice cream or a handful of cookies and the rest wouldn't count. And it wouldn't and doesn't stop with food. They could be reading instead of playing a video game, but the book wouldn't be good enough. There will always be people like
that in our lives. But for me, and for my kids, I've made a very conscious decision to not hear that. I spent years agonizing, and it never accomplished anything, other than to push us back instead of us moving forward.
~Nancy

****-=-To not hear our mothers/in-laws/grandparents voices in our heads.
I believe it does get easier to filter those voices out of my head.-=-

I agree. Once you figure out how to shush just one message, you KNOW
you can shush another one. Once you've neutralized just one cranky
old relative, you know how to disable the nattering ghosts of the
others.

Sandra****



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 26, 2005, at 10:41 PM, NANCY OWENS wrote:

> -=-And it wouldn't and doesn't stop with food. They could be
> reading instead of playing a video game, but the book wouldn't be
> good enough. There will always be people like
> that in our lives.-=-


Keith's mom is kind of like that but she's not so verbal anymore.
She just snorts and chuckles and rolls her eyes and says "Well..."
and "Whatever..." and stuff. That makes it easier to ignore.

And honestly, she tries to be nice but the negativity just oozes out
of her sometimes.

Keith, Holly and i are going to see her for an overnighter Friday.
It will be the first time it was just Holly. That might actually be
sweet and good because Keith's mom never had a daughter and Holly can
be charming, and Holly can also zingingly defend herself if necessary.

For years we've just told the kids "Grandma is just like that; ignore
her." Sometimes there's more detail, like that she grew up
differently, and she controlled her own kids (tried to) a lot more
than we do, and other analytical touches, but mostly it's "That's how
she is."

Sandra

NANCY OWENS

Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote: <snip>
*****Holly can also zingingly defend herself if necessary.*****
Which is great that she can do that. Moly has always had a hard time standing up for herself when it came to grandma. Jack OTOH, wont take much from her. But now we don't worry about it at all. At least from grandma. <g>

****For years we've just told the kids "Grandma is just like that; ignore
her." Sometimes there's more detail, like that she grew up
differently, and she controlled her own kids (tried to) a lot more
than we do, and other analytical touches, but mostly it's "That's how
she is."

Sandra*****

We tried that too. Explaining to the kids (and ourselves) those elements of grandma's life that seem to have made her what she is. How she grew up, where and when, who her parents were...

The other day Darin and I were watching one of our favorite Christmas movies, A Christmas Story, and Jack was with us. A scene: the narrator says something like 'My kid brother hadn't eaten voluntarily in over three years' and then you hear the mom say 'Eat! There are starving children in China.' and the little brother reluctantly slops this huge overflowing spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth as he whines.

Jack looks at Darin who is laughing and then at me and says 'I don't get it. If he doesn't want to eat, why is she making him? And what do kids in China have to do with it? Its not like if he doesn't eat it his mom can give the leftovers to China.' And Darin said, 'its just a movie Jack.' and I said, 'but he's right.' And went on to explain that was a standard tow-the-line response parents gave kids of that era. How it is a 'sin' to waste food, and that Jack might even, in today's world run into people who might say something along those lines to him or his friends. To which Jack said, 'if it is a sin to waste food, and the mom knows he doesn't like that food, then isn't it her sin for fixing it and serving it when she knows he won't eat it? Why doesn't she either fix something he likes, let him fix something, or let him eat when he wants to?' By that time Darin had paused the movie and was grinning at me over Jack's head. He asked Jack when he had gotten so analytical, and Jack
said, 'I don't know what that means Dad, but I know whats right and whats wrong.'

You know, sometimes I worry that I haven't done a good enough job of breaking the cycle of children should be seen and not heard, and even the abuses both Darin and I had to deal with growing up. I worry that even though I don't *think* I listen to those critical voices, that there may still be areas in my life that reflect through my words and actions, what those voices may be saying should or shouldn't be done. (Does that even make sense? I hope so.) But then one of the kids will say or do something like this, and I know that in one area, at least, I've managed to do a little something right.
~Nancy





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

multimomma

Okay,
this cracks me up, because I'm thinking "hey, cheese is a dairy product, has calcium and
protein...why is she complaining?" And a veggie is a veggie, if my kids want ketchup on it,
go for it! It doesn't make nutrients vanish!

My oldest son wouldn't eat rice for the longest time. Then one day he asked if he could try
it with (of all things) peanut butter on it. I really didn't think about it, just muttered off a
'whatever'. Later on when we found out he had sensory integrative dysfunction, it made
sense, he has difficulty with the texture, it makes him gag. But with pb on it, it sticks
together and he can enjoy it. Added bonus, when I explained that Thai food has a lot of
peanut in it, he was interested in trying a new genre of food. There's one restaurant here
that no one really likes, but it's perfect for the kids because they use pb out of a jar for all
the thai food. LOL!

It just helped illustrate that they usually choose something for a reason. It's just getting to
understand it that's hard for me.
:-)
Melissa

> On Dec 26, 2005, at 3:26 PM, NANCY OWENS wrote:
> -=-My MIL scowled and said, 'But it has cheese on it.' WHAT???-=-

Sandra Dodd

On Dec 27, 2005, at 10:39 AM, NANCY OWENS wrote:

> . He asked Jack when he had gotten so analytical, and Jack
> said, 'I don't know what that means Dad, but I know whats right and
> whats wrong.'
>

-----------------

That's a great story. I lifted the middle of your post and dropped
it here:

http://sandradodd.com/eating/longterm

where it will sit quietly until one day without fanfare it changes
someone's life. <g>

Sandra

NANCY OWENS

Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
That's a great story. I lifted the middle of your post and dropped
it here:

http://sandradodd.com/eating/longterm

where it will sit quietly until one day without fanfare it changes
someone's life. <g>

Sandra
**************

Oh, thank you.

I've been published! <g> On your site! Next to Kelly!

~Nancy



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

***That happened to us, too, at White Castle (burger place)... I was
telling Seamus the entire plot (condensed!)of "The Mists of Avalon"
which i was reading at the time, and we were comparing it to the
Merlin stories we'd read*****


Its amazing the similar experiences we have had too, as far as Mists of Avalon and others seeing how much the kids are learning from unschooling. Not to mention the relationships we have with each other. :D Which has flourished since unschooling.

On Christmas Eve we had a fondue with my in-laws and our neighbor. Our neighbor is a college professor who seems really cool but I hadn't really gotten into particulars with him on our "schooling" or not "schooling" :D

You should have heard our conversations that evening, I really wish I could have a tape recording of it all, its hard to recall, but it was kind of like this.

Some of the connections that occurred-- Japanese history from Alec (ds12)who loved Last Samurai and has since watched Shogun talking with my neighbor who lived in Japan for a few years. My neighbor had actually seen Blackthorn's grave. (Character from Shogun) That led to comparing the historic fact vs fiction in the different movies/books. Linking that to history of artillery/weaponry from war talk of Last Samurai and Call of Duty/Halo.

As far as Mysts of Avalon, we got on that from our new experiences of playing World of Warcraft and my daughter,Abbi(11) and I are druids and our neighbor was fascinated with her knowledge of that. That lead to the King Arthur movie, and First Knight and Merlin talk. He is now wanting to get us a DVD set about druids/castles and progression of different cities, that David McCullough(sp?) did for PBS, I guess its really cool.

Wow. It was great and Grandpa sat there with his head just nodding, seeing it all. Connections. Gotta love 'em.

Kelli Traaseth





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