Nanci Kuykendall

I really didn't mean to begin this very interesting
discussion and then skip out and not participate in
it. Unfortunately yesterday afternoon, while
splitting wood, my husband Tom put his splitting axe
into his knee. So I am very involved with caring for
him just now.

Whoever it was that was explaining about the
controlling parents hit head on what I was referring
to in terms of some of the folks I have run into
personally. One woman I knew used to physically
wrestle and force her kicking and screaming 6 year old
daughter outside away from the tv whenever it was
sunny, saying she was not allowed to watch tv or be
indoors when the weather was nice but had to be
outside, and this was a very active outdoors playing
little girl who usually had just come in to take a
break from hours outside. The same "unschooling" mom
used to spring surprise food limitations on her kids
just as they were going to bite into something (True
example - once said to one of her teens: You ate that
watermelon earlier during dinner, so you can't have
any ice cream with everyone else because I consider
watermelon dessert.) It was just really bizarre
control issues, lots and lots of other instances like
those.

I have never challenged anyone online or elsewhere
about whether they were really unschoolers. The
original question I posed was in response to the
"bitching" I have heard recently in various groups
about people who know "unschoolers" and who find them
pushy, sanctimonious, rude, etc. So I was just
wondering what others had experienced regarding this
seeming cross section of controlling and self
righteous "unschoolers" that these folks seem to be
running into.

Sorry I can't participate more just now, but I am glad
that others seem to be enjoying this exchange.

Nanci K.

Gold Standard

>>my husband Tom put his splitting axe
>>into his knee.<<

OMG Nanci...I hope he is okay! We'll be thinking of you two...


>>One woman I knew used to physically
>>wrestle and force her kicking and screaming 6 year old
>>daughter outside away from the tv whenever it was
>>sunny, saying she was not allowed to watch tv or be
>>indoors when the weather was nice<<

And she called herself an "unschooler"??

>>(True
>>example - once said to one of her teens: You ate that
>>watermelon earlier during dinner, so you can't have
>>any ice cream with everyone else because I consider
>>watermelon dessert.)<<

Okay, just shoot this woman.

>>The
>>original question I posed was in response to the
>>"bitching" I have heard recently in various groups
>>about people who know "unschoolers" and who find them
>>pushy, sanctimonious, rude, etc.<<

Oh, that old topic. There probably are some of those...

>>So I was just
>>wondering what others had experienced regarding this
>>seeming cross section of controlling and self
>>righteous "unschoolers" that these folks seem to be
>>running into.<<

Thankfully, I don't see too much of that in my circles. Course my circles
tend to be this and a couple other lists, and an occasional interaction with
unschoolers irl.

Could this be a cross-section of personalities that would proportionately be
similar to any other cross-section of a group? It seems this is a
personality type in most groups.

It does bring to mind all the "liberal" friends I have had over the years
that pound their realities into their children. They respect the hell out of
a tree, but their kids are going to eat every organic pea on the plate or
they are in their rooms for the night.

Jacki

patricia tidmore

Nancy I hope that your hubby's knee is not too badly injured.
I will be sending healing energy his way.
Take care,
tricia


Nanci Kuykendall <aisliin@...> wrote:
I really didn't mean to begin this very interesting
discussion and then skip out and not participate in
it. Unfortunately yesterday afternoon, while
splitting wood, my husband Tom put his splitting axe
into his knee. So I am very involved with caring for
him just now.

Whoever it was that was explaining about the
controlling parents hit head on what I was referring
to in terms of some of the folks I have run into
personally. One woman I knew used to physically
wrestle and force her kicking and screaming 6 year old
daughter outside away from the tv whenever it was
sunny, saying she was not allowed to watch tv or be
indoors when the weather was nice but had to be
outside, and this was a very active outdoors playing
little girl who usually had just come in to take a
break from hours outside. The same "unschooling" mom
used to spring surprise food limitations on her kids
just as they were going to bite into something (True
example - once said to one of her teens: You ate that
watermelon earlier during dinner, so you can't have
any ice cream with everyone else because I consider
watermelon dessert.) It was just really bizarre
control issues, lots and lots of other instances like
those.

I have never challenged anyone online or elsewhere
about whether they were really unschoolers. The
original question I posed was in response to the
"bitching" I have heard recently in various groups
about people who know "unschoolers" and who find them
pushy, sanctimonious, rude, etc. So I was just
wondering what others had experienced regarding this
seeming cross section of controlling and self
righteous "unschoolers" that these folks seem to be
running into.

Sorry I can't participate more just now, but I am glad
that others seem to be enjoying this exchange.

Nanci K.


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Robyn Coburn

<<<< I really didn't mean to begin this very interesting
discussion and then skip out and not participate in
it. Unfortunately yesterday afternoon, while
splitting wood, my husband Tom put his splitting axe
into his knee. So I am very involved with caring for
him just now. >>>

Ooh Nancy, it makes me all shivery just to think of it. I hope he is well
again soon. Doing physical therapy (or even just wading back and forth) in a
pool is really good for knees - once the cut is healed of course. James is a
veteran of two knee surgeries including a total knee replacement.

<<<<< I have never challenged anyone online or elsewhere
about whether they were really unschoolers. The
original question I posed was in response to the
"bitching" I have heard recently in various groups
about people who know "unschoolers" and who find them
pushy, sanctimonious, rude, etc. So I was just
wondering what others had experienced regarding this
seeming cross section of controlling and self
righteous "unschoolers" that these folks seem to be
running into. >>>>>

The only h/s parents I have met IRL that I don't like much, or don't connect
with emotionally, aren't Unschoolers - even pretend unschoolers. All the
genuine Unschoolers I have met IRL are wonderful people - generous of heart,
open, humorous, enthusiastic about life - and usually really wise.

The people that tend to seem most sanctimonious to me are the ones (few) who
have "tried unschooling and it didn't work", so they returned to directing
their children's education and imposing their educational goals. When they
elaborate on their experiences it is clear that they tried it in the way
Sandra has written about in her essay - they were expecting a two week
"hands off" to result in a spontaneous generation of a six subject daily
work schedule or school-commensurate skills acquisition.

One person I know poo-poos unschooling every time she can, because
essentially she became too impatient with her son's (then 5.5) progress
towards penmanship with an "unschooling approach". I gather that entailed
her standing over his shoulder while he tried to write the assigned words
being increasingly horrified at how he was forming his letters. She said he
was worried about it, but personally I think he just felt judged.

She bought a How to Write book that she now recommends - it's difference
seems to be that it is more centered on starting with easy letters rather
than following the alphabet. Jayn writes words and letters because she
enjoys doing so, choosing them for their importance to her message or
meaning. But it's easy for me to be sanguine on the matter - she has been
holding her implement the "proper" way since the first time she picked up a
spoon in infancy.

Robyn L. Coburn


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