Tia Leschke

A friend whose husband left her recently phoned me asking for help
continuing to homeschool her sons. Her husband had always supported
homeschooling until she walked into mediation recently, when he
shocked her by saying he wants joint custody and by the way, "Isn't it
time the boys were in school?" She was asking me for some short, like one
or two sentences or so, arguments in favour of homeschooling that might
sway an ex-husband. I thought since I've heard of a number of cases like
this in the last year or so, that maybe we could generate a list of "pithy
sayings" about homeschooling that might help these mothers. Maybe we could
put them up on a web page for others to use.

I have to say that these guys *really* rot my socks. It's one thing if the
husband had been even slightly negative about homeschooling before the
breakup, but in all the cases I've heard about, they've been totally
supportive until they left and realized that they could pay less support if
the wife went back to work, which wouldn't be possible if she continued to
homeschool.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

[email protected]

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 20:40:08 -0800 Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
writes:
> A friend whose husband left her recently phoned me asking for help
> continuing to homeschool her sons. Her husband had always supported
>
> homeschooling until she walked into mediation recently, when he
> shocked her by saying he wants joint custody and by the way, "Isn't
> it
> time the boys were in school?"

I wonder if he might be intimidated at being responsible for
homeschooling while he has custody. If he wasn't involved when they were
married, maybe he doesn't know what to do. Are they unschoolers or
homeschoolers? Is he thinking he'll have to miss work when the kids are
with him in order to homeschool? Is he thinking about how badly he did
in math? She might address that.

Also, she might appeal to his protective nature. The upheaval of divorce
will be difficult for their children, shouldn't they try to keep the rest
of their lives as normal as possible. The changes of divorce are bad
enough, the change of schooling might be overwhelming. Maybe a "now
isn't the right time" approach is better than an "over my dead body"
approach.

There are lots of single, working, homeschooling moms. It's probably
very hard, but it's not impossible. She shouldn't feel like she's at his
mercy. Maybe hearing from some of those working moms would help.
When this happened to a friend of mine she found other homeschoolers,
working and not, willing to co-op child care.

How sad if it really is about the money.

Deb L.