Stubborn ain't the half of it!!
Ren Allen
Oh, and I meant to add something about the pets. I have to admit that
I'm shocked and horrified that anyone would even consider allowing an
animal to suffer to "teach" a child anything!! Ack.
That teaches cruelty. Cruelty to your child, cruelty to animals.
If you want to mend the relationship, then become her ally on this
too. Feed the animals for her...say "I can see you're really busy with
your favorite show, I'm going to feed _____ because he seems hungry
right now."
Or do it without saying anything for a few days.
After you've done this for a while, ask for her help, do it together.
Love those animals because she loves them. Care for them because it
brings your children joy. The more you give in love, the more the
children will learn to be giving also.
Ren
I'm shocked and horrified that anyone would even consider allowing an
animal to suffer to "teach" a child anything!! Ack.
That teaches cruelty. Cruelty to your child, cruelty to animals.
If you want to mend the relationship, then become her ally on this
too. Feed the animals for her...say "I can see you're really busy with
your favorite show, I'm going to feed _____ because he seems hungry
right now."
Or do it without saying anything for a few days.
After you've done this for a while, ask for her help, do it together.
Love those animals because she loves them. Care for them because it
brings your children joy. The more you give in love, the more the
children will learn to be giving also.
Ren
judijeffliawyatt
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@n...>
wrote:
animals to "teach" and I never use that word. It was a part of a
string of thoughts on how to deal with an excessive amount of "pets". I
accidentally kill the same lizards she keeps as pets everytime I cut
the grass. One reply mentioned a hamster. Dealing with that would be
childsplay. Our error and what we will need to live with, is allowing
the passion for "many" pets to run amok. To list the number and type
of pets here would take many paragraphs. Suffice to say that taking
care of all the animals and listening to the noise of 2-3000 crickets
chirping 24/7 consumes much time(hours per day)and many nerve endings
worn ragged. This may be the anger which you perceive.
The advice regarding cartoons was well taken and appreciated even
though someone (mistakenly)thought I was exaggerating the time frame.
When we are home, toons are on if we are unavailable. If a friend is
over there are times when her friends are doing other things and she is
watching cartoons.
This family has done things that would make many unschoolers drool,
just as we drool over your calm parenting style. We fully admit to lack
of consistency, imperfection and self doubt at times(like now) and ask
questions when we are a little lost. Please don't consised us evil or
be shocked and horrified. We want what is best for our kids, yet
sometimes out of frustration we may chose the wrong path, but if we did
not care we would not be here. Thanks again for the time taken to
respond.
And yes, the crickets are chirping right now!
Jeff
wrote:
> Oh, and I meant to add something about the pets. I have to admit thatOk, I guess I should clarify a few things. We have not tortured
> I'm shocked and horrified that anyone would even consider allowing an
> animal to suffer to "teach" a child anything!! Ack.
>
animals to "teach" and I never use that word. It was a part of a
string of thoughts on how to deal with an excessive amount of "pets". I
accidentally kill the same lizards she keeps as pets everytime I cut
the grass. One reply mentioned a hamster. Dealing with that would be
childsplay. Our error and what we will need to live with, is allowing
the passion for "many" pets to run amok. To list the number and type
of pets here would take many paragraphs. Suffice to say that taking
care of all the animals and listening to the noise of 2-3000 crickets
chirping 24/7 consumes much time(hours per day)and many nerve endings
worn ragged. This may be the anger which you perceive.
The advice regarding cartoons was well taken and appreciated even
though someone (mistakenly)thought I was exaggerating the time frame.
When we are home, toons are on if we are unavailable. If a friend is
over there are times when her friends are doing other things and she is
watching cartoons.
This family has done things that would make many unschoolers drool,
just as we drool over your calm parenting style. We fully admit to lack
of consistency, imperfection and self doubt at times(like now) and ask
questions when we are a little lost. Please don't consised us evil or
be shocked and horrified. We want what is best for our kids, yet
sometimes out of frustration we may chose the wrong path, but if we did
not care we would not be here. Thanks again for the time taken to
respond.
And yes, the crickets are chirping right now!
Jeff
[email protected]
<<this may be the anger which you perceive>>
If you are ticked off by something going on with your kids, why not figure out exactly what YOUR issues with it are and sit down and talk with your kids?
What would you do if your spouse was making you nuts? Hopefully, you would try to amicably resolve the situation. Same thing can be done with kids.
<<the cartoons are on if we are unavailable>>
As someone whose home is often overflowing with animals, I know how much time they take. I know how my kids can have the best of intentions but often the main brunt falls to me, often because the kids simply aren't strong enough physically to do what they want to do mentally. Is it possible that dealing with the animals is taking so much time and energy that you are unavailable to your child for extended periods? If not, it sounds as though the cartoons are off if you are available,.....so I would just be available if it seemed like a problem.
Julie S.
If you are ticked off by something going on with your kids, why not figure out exactly what YOUR issues with it are and sit down and talk with your kids?
What would you do if your spouse was making you nuts? Hopefully, you would try to amicably resolve the situation. Same thing can be done with kids.
<<the cartoons are on if we are unavailable>>
As someone whose home is often overflowing with animals, I know how much time they take. I know how my kids can have the best of intentions but often the main brunt falls to me, often because the kids simply aren't strong enough physically to do what they want to do mentally. Is it possible that dealing with the animals is taking so much time and energy that you are unavailable to your child for extended periods? If not, it sounds as though the cartoons are off if you are available,.....so I would just be available if it seemed like a problem.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: judijeffliawyatt <jkeller5@...>
Date: Monday, September 5, 2005 2:26 pm
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Stubborn ain't the half of it!!
> --- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
> <starsuncloud@n...>
> wrote:
> > Oh, and I meant to add something about the pets. I have to admit
> that
> > I'm shocked and horrified that anyone would even consider
> allowing an
> > animal to suffer to "teach" a child anything!! Ack.
> >
>
> Ok, I guess I should clarify a few things. We have not tortured
> animals to "teach" and I never use that word. It was a part of a
> string of thoughts on how to deal with an excessive amount of
> "pets". I
> accidentally kill the same lizards she keeps as pets everytime I
> cut
> the grass. One reply mentioned a hamster. Dealing with that would
> be
> childsplay. Our error and what we will need to live with, is
> allowing
> the passion for "many" pets to run amok. To list the number and
> type
> of pets here would take many paragraphs. Suffice to say that
> taking
> care of all the animals and listening to the noise of 2-3000
> crickets
> chirping 24/7 consumes much time(hours per day)and many nerve
> endings
> worn ragged. This may be the anger which you perceive.
>
> The advice regarding cartoons was well taken and appreciated even
> though someone (mistakenly)thought I was exaggerating the time
> frame.
> When we are home, toons are on if we are unavailable. If a friend
> is
> over there are times when her friends are doing other things and
> she is
> watching cartoons.
>
> This family has done things that would make many unschoolers
> drool,
> just as we drool over your calm parenting style. We fully admit to
> lack
> of consistency, imperfection and self doubt at times(like now) and
> ask
> questions when we are a little lost. Please don't consised us evil
> or
> be shocked and horrified. We want what is best for our kids, yet
> sometimes out of frustration we may chose the wrong path, but if
> we did
> not care we would not be here. Thanks again for the time taken to
> respond.
>
> And yes, the crickets are chirping right now!
>
> Jeff
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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[email protected]
> <<the cartoons are on if we are unavailable>>Don't make it a choice between you or cartoons.
>
Of if you do, and you're critical and judgemental of the cartoons and the
kids, learn to accept it if (given that choice) the kids DO pick the cartoons.
My mom turned off The Friendly Giant one time and said it was a STUPID show.
Bad move on her part. It was 15 minute story-telling show with puppets and
doll-house furniture and sweet little picture-book stories. It had never
turned HER off. It had never said SHE was stupid. I made my choice right
then. I was sadder when Robert Homme died than when my mom died. I was never
angry with him. He never insulted me.
That's an extreme example, maybe, but it's also a true example from my own
life.
The advice here is for the sake of your children. If we comfort the parents
at the expense of the children's peace and happiness, and at the expense of
what we know to be necessary for unschooling to thrive, the list won't be worth
anything to anyone.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy Hill
**My mom turned off The Friendly Giant one time and said it was a STUPID
show. **
I remember watching this sometimes, when very young, and I'm betting my
mom turned it on for me. The couple of times you've posted about it, it
brings back happy (but vague) memories for me.
Look how much power a mom's actions have to make happy memories vs.
unhappy ones. (Hey, I bet that was one of you points. <g>)
(I also watched Mr Rogers, unashamedly, for many years.)
(And because my mom sought out PBS kids shows for me, I still pledge
them money every month. Little actions have big ripples.)
Betsy
show. **
I remember watching this sometimes, when very young, and I'm betting my
mom turned it on for me. The couple of times you've posted about it, it
brings back happy (but vague) memories for me.
Look how much power a mom's actions have to make happy memories vs.
unhappy ones. (Hey, I bet that was one of you points. <g>)
(I also watched Mr Rogers, unashamedly, for many years.)
(And because my mom sought out PBS kids shows for me, I still pledge
them money every month. Little actions have big ripples.)
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/7/05 12:12:36 PM, ecsamhill@... writes:
Today Kirby went out to meet a new maybe-girlfriend at an energy-drink bar <g>
(KevaJuice, probably regional name for something other places have
something like). He met her last weekend and drove her home from a weekend-long
party with 40 people, mostly adults. She had been there with her parents, and
turns out they live a mile and a half from us, and all of us 100 miles from
the party site. So anyway, he drove her home in the little Saturn Marty
usually drives. Today he showed her the big van he usually drives, and she was
looking at the video tapes that were in there. She told Kirby she'd never seen
Rocky Horror Picture Show and would really like to.
Kirby winced when he told me, because he's so tired of it. He said he told
her his sister went through a period of watching it every day, but he would
watch it with her if she wanted to.
Lots of people take those age ratings WAY too strictly, and school friends
will help enforce that, but among unschoolers it seems that someone who's sick
of Rocky Horror but will knowingly and intentionally watch Mr. Rogers sometimes
is not all that remarkable.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> (I also watched Mr Rogers, unashamedly, for many years.)All of my kids will still watch it occasionally, and they're 13, 16 and 19.
>
Today Kirby went out to meet a new maybe-girlfriend at an energy-drink bar <g>
(KevaJuice, probably regional name for something other places have
something like). He met her last weekend and drove her home from a weekend-long
party with 40 people, mostly adults. She had been there with her parents, and
turns out they live a mile and a half from us, and all of us 100 miles from
the party site. So anyway, he drove her home in the little Saturn Marty
usually drives. Today he showed her the big van he usually drives, and she was
looking at the video tapes that were in there. She told Kirby she'd never seen
Rocky Horror Picture Show and would really like to.
Kirby winced when he told me, because he's so tired of it. He said he told
her his sister went through a period of watching it every day, but he would
watch it with her if she wanted to.
Lots of people take those age ratings WAY too strictly, and school friends
will help enforce that, but among unschoolers it seems that someone who's sick
of Rocky Horror but will knowingly and intentionally watch Mr. Rogers sometimes
is not all that remarkable.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]