RE: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1631
Dawn Falbe
I really like the idea of the chores costing a certain amount of money
and then they get to choose. DH and I have been doing the "you get X
amount per week, here's what you need to do for it" and lately it's been
complaints from both of them "why do I have to do that?" "what's Zak
doing?" "why isn't he doing that?" "it's not fair... I don't want to do
this" I've been thinking about doing it differently but didn't know
what that looked like.... It looks like I've found a new way.
Namaste
Dawn
Been lurking for over a year and reading, just not writing
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, July 23, 2005 8:12 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1631
There is 1 message in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. Chores
From: "Tracey Inman" <traceyi@...>
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 13:48:03 -0400
From: "Tracey Inman" <traceyi@...>
Subject: Chores
I just finished reading Joyce's post. Well-said Joyce! I am usually a
lurker but just felt like sharing today.
I have really evolved with this chore thing. As a child, my whole life
was
a "have to". If I didn't do x and x then I was restricted or told what
a
bad person I was in so many terms. I never had chores per say for our
girls
until we started homeschooling. I was the one who ordered the "best
curriculum" and set up a chore chart. (UGH, makes me cringe just
telling
ya'll about this!) Once our girls got to the age of 4 or so we always
gave
them some sort of allowance so they could have money of their own and
make
purchases or save. When we pulled our girls out of school the chore
chart
became their way of making money. No allowance just paid for the chores
they did. The rule was dh and I would pay for needs and the girls paid
for
wants. Shortly after we began homeschooling we had to move. We went
through about a year of living with our parents. It was during that
time I
found unschooling. And that is when the paradigm shift started.
Luckily my
dh and I were on the same page from the beginning. Of course the worst
place to start unschooling is when you are living with parents whom
are/were
schoolteachers. Both of our moms have been in the school system for
years.
My mom taught 35 years. My dh and I stayed strong and kept reading and
growing. However, during the transition we started just giving our
girls an
allowance again. Once we moved into our new home and got settled I had
been
reading and growing enough to realize I did not want to "make" my girls
do
anything. I must admit I would get really frustrated at times going
behind
them picking up or cleaning the kitchen. But I tried really hard not to
say
anything. (I failed a few times) I guess the old records I grew up with
are
still there and I have to keep them at bay so they don't jump on the
turntable and start playing. Both our girls really love to save and to
work
towards a goal if they have something they really want. So one day my
oldest asked me what they could do to earn money in addition to their
allowance! So here's what we do now...Certain items around the house
are
worth .50 like cleaning the cat box, unloading the dishwasher, folding
clothes, emptying trash, etc. Then depending on things they pick up on
themselves they get more. For example, yesterday I came home and my
almost
13yo had vacuumed part of the house, cleaned windows and mirrors, and
something else I can't remember. We talked about a fair wage and came
up
with $6.00. Ended up I owed her $5.50 already so she asked for $6.50 to
make the total even! Got to love it :) Occasionally the girls will
argue
over who called the dishwasher or a load of clothes. They are earning
pretty good money I must say. Tomorrow our family is running a
concession
stand at a horse show and the girls want to help so we will pay them.
This
whole thing has turned into a great way for them to earn money and
purchase
those "wants". They both have been setting some money aside to open a
savings account. It has opened the door for some great discussion
surrounding investments, purchases, etc. I don't tell them not to buy
something but will sometimes help them think through it. Sometimes they
buy
anyway and later wished they hadn't, but that's life. We have all done
some
things like that. It is just another opportunity to learn. I suggested
they keep a journal/log of their income and expenditures. They
sometimes
would wonder why they didn't have as much money as they thought. So
both of
them keep a list of income and how they got it and on the other side
they
keep a running log of what they spend and where they spent it. My
almost
10yo went on a spending spree one day and spent $43.87. So she decided
to
not spend anything else until she had replaced that amount. She worked
hard
and it didn't take her long before she earned it back. But in the
process
of doing this she got a separate piece of paper and at the top put
$43.87
and every time she earned money she would subtract it from the $43.87
until
the total came to zero. And people wonder how we do math! There are
some
adults that couldn't keep up with money management the way my girls can.
The plus for me is I have a lot of help around the house now and
everybody
is still smiling! :) Maybe this will help someone else or maybe some of
you
have other thoughts that might make this better.....Looking forward to
more
discussion....
~Tracey Inman
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
------------------------------------------------------------------------
and then they get to choose. DH and I have been doing the "you get X
amount per week, here's what you need to do for it" and lately it's been
complaints from both of them "why do I have to do that?" "what's Zak
doing?" "why isn't he doing that?" "it's not fair... I don't want to do
this" I've been thinking about doing it differently but didn't know
what that looked like.... It looks like I've found a new way.
Namaste
Dawn
Been lurking for over a year and reading, just not writing
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, July 23, 2005 8:12 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1631
There is 1 message in this issue.
Topics in this digest:
1. Chores
From: "Tracey Inman" <traceyi@...>
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 13:48:03 -0400
From: "Tracey Inman" <traceyi@...>
Subject: Chores
I just finished reading Joyce's post. Well-said Joyce! I am usually a
lurker but just felt like sharing today.
I have really evolved with this chore thing. As a child, my whole life
was
a "have to". If I didn't do x and x then I was restricted or told what
a
bad person I was in so many terms. I never had chores per say for our
girls
until we started homeschooling. I was the one who ordered the "best
curriculum" and set up a chore chart. (UGH, makes me cringe just
telling
ya'll about this!) Once our girls got to the age of 4 or so we always
gave
them some sort of allowance so they could have money of their own and
make
purchases or save. When we pulled our girls out of school the chore
chart
became their way of making money. No allowance just paid for the chores
they did. The rule was dh and I would pay for needs and the girls paid
for
wants. Shortly after we began homeschooling we had to move. We went
through about a year of living with our parents. It was during that
time I
found unschooling. And that is when the paradigm shift started.
Luckily my
dh and I were on the same page from the beginning. Of course the worst
place to start unschooling is when you are living with parents whom
are/were
schoolteachers. Both of our moms have been in the school system for
years.
My mom taught 35 years. My dh and I stayed strong and kept reading and
growing. However, during the transition we started just giving our
girls an
allowance again. Once we moved into our new home and got settled I had
been
reading and growing enough to realize I did not want to "make" my girls
do
anything. I must admit I would get really frustrated at times going
behind
them picking up or cleaning the kitchen. But I tried really hard not to
say
anything. (I failed a few times) I guess the old records I grew up with
are
still there and I have to keep them at bay so they don't jump on the
turntable and start playing. Both our girls really love to save and to
work
towards a goal if they have something they really want. So one day my
oldest asked me what they could do to earn money in addition to their
allowance! So here's what we do now...Certain items around the house
are
worth .50 like cleaning the cat box, unloading the dishwasher, folding
clothes, emptying trash, etc. Then depending on things they pick up on
themselves they get more. For example, yesterday I came home and my
almost
13yo had vacuumed part of the house, cleaned windows and mirrors, and
something else I can't remember. We talked about a fair wage and came
up
with $6.00. Ended up I owed her $5.50 already so she asked for $6.50 to
make the total even! Got to love it :) Occasionally the girls will
argue
over who called the dishwasher or a load of clothes. They are earning
pretty good money I must say. Tomorrow our family is running a
concession
stand at a horse show and the girls want to help so we will pay them.
This
whole thing has turned into a great way for them to earn money and
purchase
those "wants". They both have been setting some money aside to open a
savings account. It has opened the door for some great discussion
surrounding investments, purchases, etc. I don't tell them not to buy
something but will sometimes help them think through it. Sometimes they
buy
anyway and later wished they hadn't, but that's life. We have all done
some
things like that. It is just another opportunity to learn. I suggested
they keep a journal/log of their income and expenditures. They
sometimes
would wonder why they didn't have as much money as they thought. So
both of
them keep a list of income and how they got it and on the other side
they
keep a running log of what they spend and where they spent it. My
almost
10yo went on a spending spree one day and spent $43.87. So she decided
to
not spend anything else until she had replaced that amount. She worked
hard
and it didn't take her long before she earned it back. But in the
process
of doing this she got a separate piece of paper and at the top put
$43.87
and every time she earned money she would subtract it from the $43.87
until
the total came to zero. And people wonder how we do math! There are
some
adults that couldn't keep up with money management the way my girls can.
The plus for me is I have a lot of help around the house now and
everybody
is still smiling! :) Maybe this will help someone else or maybe some of
you
have other thoughts that might make this better.....Looking forward to
more
discussion....
~Tracey Inman
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/24/05 2:47:23 AM, dawnfalbe@... writes:
required to get the money, rather than working until they're happy with the
results for their own sake.
While it's a better choice than forcing them to do a list of chores they
didn't choose, it might not be as good a choice in the longrun as just letting
them have money to spend and considering work around the house to be a gift of
love.
It depends what your longrange goals are and what principles and priorities
you're working under.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I really like the idea of the chores costing a certain amount of moneyWhat can be a problem is that they will be learning to do just the minimum
> and then they get to choose.
>
required to get the money, rather than working until they're happy with the
results for their own sake.
While it's a better choice than forcing them to do a list of chores they
didn't choose, it might not be as good a choice in the longrun as just letting
them have money to spend and considering work around the house to be a gift of
love.
It depends what your longrange goals are and what principles and priorities
you're working under.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]