Nanci Kuykendall

>John Taylor Gatto will be the Keynote Speaker and
>his topic will be "The Artificial Extension of
>Childhood."

This topic really interest me and has been a topic of
conversation around our house lately. Does anyone
have any reading or web recomendations on this topic
(from Gatto or not) that I could peruse? I really
feel our young people are given short shrift in this
area and their struggling maturity and adulthood
smothered, much to the detriment of our entire
society.

Nanci K.

[email protected]

Not exactly the same thing, but..


Ben cut out a really good article from the publisher of _Forbes_
magazine. "Real-World Advice for the Young." It's very school-y, but
he's pointing out that we need to focus and the children's strengths,
not their weaknesses....duh! How "partnering"---finding someone who
shares your interest, but has strengths where you are weak. Yeah! Like
CHEATING! <bwg> You rely on his strengths, he relies on yours, and you
make a good team.

Gatto has his own website where you can read several things he's
written and find out what else he's up to.

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org

-----Original Message-----
From: Nanci Kuykendall <aisliin@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Mon, 25 Apr 2005 15:22:22 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Artificial Extension of Childhood


>John Taylor Gatto will be the Keynote Speaker and
>his topic will be "The Artificial Extension of
>Childhood."

This topic really interest me and has been a topic of
conversation around our house lately. Does anyone
have any reading or web recomendations on this topic
(from Gatto or not) that I could peruse? I really
feel our young people are given short shrift in this
area and their struggling maturity and adulthood
smothered, much to the detriment of our entire
society.

Nanci K.




Yahoo! Groups Links

Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

I think this has more grounds in science than you could imagine. I remember
learning in some psychology class about how if you don't have a certain need
met as an infant or a child you can get stuck in that stage for the rest of
your life? Remember? That's why people were said to have "oral fixations?"
What is the psychological term for that? Am I off? Who are the
psychologists associated with this concept? Maybe this will help in
learning more about why if we aren't allowed to 'just be kids' we can get
stuck in a perpetual childhood even in adulthood? Does this make sense?





<http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo> Rebecca

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/26/05 10:37:05 AM, rebeccawow@... writes:

<< That's why people were said to have "oral fixations?"
What is the psychological term for that? Am I off? Who are the
psychologists associated with this concept? >>

Freud
arrested development is one term for traumatic failure to go through the
necessary phases and stages.

Sandra

Joyce Fetteroll

On Apr 26, 2005, at 1:21 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> arrested development

Which is a very funny clever show by the way :-)

Joyce

Elizabeth Roberts

I want to say that's Freud. I could be mistaken
though. ~E


I remember
> learning in some psychology class about how if you
> don't have a certain need
> met as an infant or a child you can get stuck in
> that stage for the rest of
> your life? Remember? That's why people were said
> to have "oral fixations?"
> What is the psychological term for that? Am I off?
> Who are the
> psychologists associated with this concept?

Elizabeth
Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
Http://bethsbootcamp.blogspot.com
http://journeythroughfaith.blogspot.com/

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Sarah

Yes, it is a Freudian concept. You pretty much have it. There
are "psychosexual" stages (oral, anal, genital), if one stage isn't
fulfilled, you stay (according to the theory) stuck in that phase,
until the need is met. Then you can move on. So if you, for
instance get stuck in the oral phase, you continue to pursue
pleasure orally (cigarettes, overeating, etc.)

--- In [email protected], Elizabeth Roberts
<ladyeliza_r@y...> wrote:
> I want to say that's Freud. I could be mistaken
> though. ~E
>
>
> I remember
> > learning in some psychology class about how if you
> > don't have a certain need
> > met as an infant or a child you can get stuck in
> > that stage for the rest of
> > your life? Remember? That's why people were said
> > to have "oral fixations?"
> > What is the psychological term for that? Am I off?
> > Who are the
> > psychologists associated with this concept?
>
> Elizabeth
> Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
> Http://bethsbootcamp.blogspot.com
> http://journeythroughfaith.blogspot.com/
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com

Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

>Then you can move on. So if you, for
>instance get stuck in the oral phase, you continue to pursue
>pleasure orally (cigarettes, overeating, etc.)



That sucks.



<http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo> Rebecca

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Gold Standard

lol!

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Rodney and Rebecca
Atherton
Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005 6:08 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Artificial Extension of Childhood


>Then you can move on. So if you, for
>instance get stuck in the oral phase, you continue to pursue
>pleasure orally (cigarettes, overeating, etc.)



That sucks.



<http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo> Rebecca

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





Yahoo! Groups Links

Nanci Kuykendall

>for instance get stuck in the oral phase, you
>continue to pursue pleasure orally (cigarettes,
>overeating, etc.)

I was thinking more along a different line than the
Freudian (sp?) one of early childhood development
blocks to maturity I think. I was thinking of the way
young people in our culture have their blossoming
independence and maturity squashed and stifled at a
critical time as young adults when they should be
making that leap from childhood to adulthood. We
stand in their way with laws (applying to "minors"
under a sweepingly general age) as well as (and
perhaps more importantly) with the general familial
and cultural message at every turn that they are
stupid, irresponsible, incapable children until the
sudden magic morning of their 18th birthday. For some
families even that age milestone is not enough, and
the continue to hold thier young adult offspring under
their thumbs until well into their 20s or beyond.
Just to clarify, I am not talking about kicking "kids"
out at 18 or telling them when to "mature" but rather
about not getting in their way when they are doing it
themselves.

In light of how other list members were thinking of
this "extended childhood concept" in a somewhat
opposite way to what I was, that our kids are not
ALLOWED to be children at a young age (which I also
believe) and thus they are unable to progress into
maturity when the time comes, it's got me considering
how those factors collide. We have an interesting
paradox in our culture where children are expected to
act like miniature adults while not extended any of
the courtesies, respect or independence that comes
with that status. The results, I feel, are often
twisted and broken adults who don't know who or what
they are or where they belong and have little or no
confidence in their own abilities or decisions.

As a radical unschooler, how do I best avoid such
pitfalls both early in childhood and in young
adulthood, or how do I mitigate and repair damages
done by this set of circumstances? Of course I have
my own ideas and approaches but I am interested in
what others have to say about this topic also.
Thoughts?

Nanci K.

Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

>We have an interesting paradox in our culture where children are expected
>to act like miniature adults while not extended any of the courtesies,
>respect or independence that comes with that status.

We are on the same page, I'm just remembering that there is some psychology
- research out there to back that up. Did Erickson (sp) say anything about
this? It seems there was an article on Ann's website about how she met him
and he seemed to have something to say about this?

Yes. I am guilty of that as I have wanted to manipulate my oldest son into
being at home next year instead of returning to public school. I need to
respect his decision. He's 13 and has opinions and reasons for making that
decision. I need to step back, know that he sees the pros and cons of both,
and let him decide and live out that choice. I have told him that I am
proud of him no matter what he decides. It's a choice that will affect his
life and he's getting good practice at making choices that come with
freedom. The choices are all wonderful for him - makes it hard to decide -
but that's freedom.

Rebecca <http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo>
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah

<We have an interesting
paradox in our culture where children are expected to
act like miniature adults while not extended any of
the courtesies, respect or independence that comes
with that status.>

truer words were never spoken.