[AlwaysLearning] I don't know
Nanci Kuykendall
>Or just make a plate of fruit and cheese and put it'knows.')
>in front of him - stop asking him so many questions.
>If he doesn't WANT the fruit and
>cheese, he can say so (I guess that means he
>PamI agree. My oldest (8 yrs) is high functioning
autistic, and when presented with too many choices, or
pressured to make a choice, he simply shuts down like
this too. Even if he really does want something, he
says no (which I think is really a "no" directed at
feeling pressured) and then is upset because we didn't
give him the thing he really did want after all. It
drives him as crazy as us, and it's not intentional at
all.
I don't ask if he's hungry. I just know him well
enough to know about what times to put his favorite
foods in front of him, as Pam said, with no pressure
or guilt if he doesn't want it, but he almost always
eats it. Similarly, I don't ask if he wants a sweater
or coat before we go out, I simply take one of his
with us if he didn't put one on, and I put it near him
in the car. If he gets cold, he puts it on. It takes
a hyper awareness of their needs in order to
communicate and raise a special needs child, but
unschooling is a perfect fit for knowing them as
people in the way that facilitates this communication.
With our non-autistic child this is decidedly less
pronounced or frequent, but he still occassionally
shuts down when pressured to make a decision or
presented with too many choices too. It's just way
more obvious with our eldest. But then I tend to find
that nearly all our son's "typically autistic"
behaviors are just extremely pronounced versions of
things that most kids do sometimes.
Nanci K.
[email protected]
-=- It takes
a hyper awareness of their needs in order to
communicate and raise a special needs child, but
unschooling is a perfect fit for knowing them as
people in the way that facilitates this communication.
-=-
While this may be true, I think a careful and continuing awareness of ANY child is what it takes to be a mindful parent.
Yes, Kirby is old enough to get himself up and to work. He's old enough he could live on his own if he wanted and needed to. But I still try to have personal notice of his moods, the state of his clothes, his schedule, his social life, etc. And for little kids, it was way closer. Sleeping enough? Eating? Happy? Calm?
Sandra
a hyper awareness of their needs in order to
communicate and raise a special needs child, but
unschooling is a perfect fit for knowing them as
people in the way that facilitates this communication.
-=-
While this may be true, I think a careful and continuing awareness of ANY child is what it takes to be a mindful parent.
Yes, Kirby is old enough to get himself up and to work. He's old enough he could live on his own if he wanted and needed to. But I still try to have personal notice of his moods, the state of his clothes, his schedule, his social life, etc. And for little kids, it was way closer. Sleeping enough? Eating? Happy? Calm?
Sandra
Sylvie Martin
My oldest (8 yrs) is high functioning
autistic, and when presented with too many choices, or
pressured to make a choice, he simply shuts down like
this too. Even if he really does want something, he
says no (which I think is really a "no" directed at
feeling pressured)
***************** I feel the same with Tom. Exactly the same...
I don't ask if he's hungry. I just know him well
enough to know about what times to put his favorite
foods in front of him, as Pam said, with no pressure
or guilt if he doesn't want it, but he almost always
eats it.
****************** We do the same, but Tom is like someone who can read in our thinking. And maybe inside, we are waiting him to eat and he feels it. He's so thin...So, we don't put pressure anymore, but maybe he feels the pressure inside, anyway...
Sylvie (Eliott le Magicien, Tom le Héros (5 ans) et Lilou la Fée (2ans)
www.yourtes-tipis.com
autistic, and when presented with too many choices, or
pressured to make a choice, he simply shuts down like
this too. Even if he really does want something, he
says no (which I think is really a "no" directed at
feeling pressured)
***************** I feel the same with Tom. Exactly the same...
I don't ask if he's hungry. I just know him well
enough to know about what times to put his favorite
foods in front of him, as Pam said, with no pressure
or guilt if he doesn't want it, but he almost always
eats it.
****************** We do the same, but Tom is like someone who can read in our thinking. And maybe inside, we are waiting him to eat and he feels it. He's so thin...So, we don't put pressure anymore, but maybe he feels the pressure inside, anyway...
Sylvie (Eliott le Magicien, Tom le Héros (5 ans) et Lilou la Fée (2ans)
www.yourtes-tipis.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Nanci Kuykendall
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2005 10:50 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] I don't know
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]