swearing
Gold Standard
I'm interested in different ways unschoolers handle swearing. I know I have
a lot to get over myself (I just think they sound 20 degrees lower in
intelligence when swears are inserted into their sentences, like they can't
think of something more creative to say...my problem, I know), but I also
wonder if there are some reasons to encourage kids not to swear (I haven't
been able to think of much that makes sense). I have no problem listening to
other teenagers swearing while they talk, just my own. And so far, I haven't
said much, except an occasional "that may offend so and so" particularly to
the use of J.C. in their talk. I know intellectually that most swears are
actually disrespectful in their NON-use, because they come from one tribe
taking over another tribe and then making certain words from the loser
tribes' language unacceptable...swear words. So logically it shouldn't
matter.
After reading over this, I am more convinced this is my problem. I would
love to hear others' thoughts however :)
Thank you,
Jacki
a lot to get over myself (I just think they sound 20 degrees lower in
intelligence when swears are inserted into their sentences, like they can't
think of something more creative to say...my problem, I know), but I also
wonder if there are some reasons to encourage kids not to swear (I haven't
been able to think of much that makes sense). I have no problem listening to
other teenagers swearing while they talk, just my own. And so far, I haven't
said much, except an occasional "that may offend so and so" particularly to
the use of J.C. in their talk. I know intellectually that most swears are
actually disrespectful in their NON-use, because they come from one tribe
taking over another tribe and then making certain words from the loser
tribes' language unacceptable...swear words. So logically it shouldn't
matter.
After reading over this, I am more convinced this is my problem. I would
love to hear others' thoughts however :)
Thank you,
Jacki
Sondra Carr
I handle this the same way that I handle my son wanting to wear dresses -
explain that I probably cringe because I've been conditioned a certain way
but that logically there is no real reason that certain words are worse than
others. I tell them that my experience has been that for a very complicated
variety of reasons, people have developed all these weird ideas about what
kids should and shouldn't do, men and women should and shouldn't do, etc.
And as far as the swearing thing - I noticed that when you became an adult,
there were certain situations where it was not acceptable to swear and
others where it would be highly advisable NOT to swear. I've always talked
about these cultural issues when I thought about or read about them and so
this is not a new discussion. I also believe - and share that belief that if
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences. I make
sure they really get what the consequences are and if they complain later
about the consequences, I offer what I would to a friend - options about how
to change opinions of others - we do a lot of brainstorming about these
things. As a result - I rarely cringe anymore. I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me.
Sondra
explain that I probably cringe because I've been conditioned a certain way
but that logically there is no real reason that certain words are worse than
others. I tell them that my experience has been that for a very complicated
variety of reasons, people have developed all these weird ideas about what
kids should and shouldn't do, men and women should and shouldn't do, etc.
And as far as the swearing thing - I noticed that when you became an adult,
there were certain situations where it was not acceptable to swear and
others where it would be highly advisable NOT to swear. I've always talked
about these cultural issues when I thought about or read about them and so
this is not a new discussion. I also believe - and share that belief that if
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences. I make
sure they really get what the consequences are and if they complain later
about the consequences, I offer what I would to a friend - options about how
to change opinions of others - we do a lot of brainstorming about these
things. As a result - I rarely cringe anymore. I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me.
Sondra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/27/2004 4:49:04 PM Central Standard Time,
jacki@... writes:
After reading over this, I am more convinced this is my problem. I would
love to hear others' thoughts however :)
~~~
I've always just tried to demystify cuss words. (I'm from Arkansas. Cuss
is an actual word. <g>)
Kids at different times become enamored with the idea of cussing and they do
it. I've offered a chance for my 10 yo to go in a room or somewhere no one
will hear him, and just scream out all the cuss words he can think of. He
wouldn't take me up on it. At 10, many kids are way too modest and shy and
afraid to break the "rules", even if there very few rules.
If I had offered that at 6 (a time when he probably knew very few cuss
words), he probably would have taken me up on it. :)
But just talking about the idea of shouting out cuss words has helped take
the mystery from them. We talk about what they mean. I say them, he tries to
force himself to say them. We make up euphemisms for them (cuss words are
usually euphemisms for something else, so that's interesting, too). "Holy
Shit-ake mushrooms!" We make up jokes with almost-cuss words in them, or sing
songs that we know have cuss words in them. He still will bleep out the word
hell in a Barenaked ladies song that we know.
I have grown sons, and they both had a fascination with cuss words at one
time or another. I used to joke that they could cuss when they had whiskers on
their face. Of course, it was many years after they started using cuss
words before they had whiskers. When they were teenagers I tried to make them
aware that some words just don't sound appropriate out of the mouth of their 4
yo brother, so to please use discretion. But they had already learned
discretion by using them in the wrong place, or being told when it was okay and
when it was not. It wasn't hard for them to pick that up.
I don't really care if my kids swear. I swear. I don't swear in front of
people who would take offense, or I try not to. Today I used the term "pissed
off" in front of some little kids that I didn't know well, and while no one
said anything or seemed to care, *I* felt like I should have censored my
language, and at least shown some respect for the fact that I didn't know how
their parents would feel about it. All of my sons have leaned that direction,
rather than cussing with abandon no matter where they are.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jacki@... writes:
After reading over this, I am more convinced this is my problem. I would
love to hear others' thoughts however :)
~~~
I've always just tried to demystify cuss words. (I'm from Arkansas. Cuss
is an actual word. <g>)
Kids at different times become enamored with the idea of cussing and they do
it. I've offered a chance for my 10 yo to go in a room or somewhere no one
will hear him, and just scream out all the cuss words he can think of. He
wouldn't take me up on it. At 10, many kids are way too modest and shy and
afraid to break the "rules", even if there very few rules.
If I had offered that at 6 (a time when he probably knew very few cuss
words), he probably would have taken me up on it. :)
But just talking about the idea of shouting out cuss words has helped take
the mystery from them. We talk about what they mean. I say them, he tries to
force himself to say them. We make up euphemisms for them (cuss words are
usually euphemisms for something else, so that's interesting, too). "Holy
Shit-ake mushrooms!" We make up jokes with almost-cuss words in them, or sing
songs that we know have cuss words in them. He still will bleep out the word
hell in a Barenaked ladies song that we know.
I have grown sons, and they both had a fascination with cuss words at one
time or another. I used to joke that they could cuss when they had whiskers on
their face. Of course, it was many years after they started using cuss
words before they had whiskers. When they were teenagers I tried to make them
aware that some words just don't sound appropriate out of the mouth of their 4
yo brother, so to please use discretion. But they had already learned
discretion by using them in the wrong place, or being told when it was okay and
when it was not. It wasn't hard for them to pick that up.
I don't really care if my kids swear. I swear. I don't swear in front of
people who would take offense, or I try not to. Today I used the term "pissed
off" in front of some little kids that I didn't know well, and while no one
said anything or seemed to care, *I* felt like I should have censored my
language, and at least shown some respect for the fact that I didn't know how
their parents would feel about it. All of my sons have leaned that direction,
rather than cussing with abandon no matter where they are.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gold Standard
Thanks for your feedback Karen.
"I've offered a chance for my 10 yo to go in a room or somewhere no one
will hear him, and just scream out all the cuss words he can think of. He
wouldn't take me up on it."
That's so funny, because we do the same thing with our ten year old, only he
ALWAYS takes us up on it:) Come to think of it, it usually starts with him
saying, "Can I say a whole bunch of cuss words?" to which we always reply,
"Sure!" and the whole family often then embarks on trying to outdo each
other in creativity and combinations. This is sometimes in the car together,
or after a family meeting or some other time when we're all together and
someone is feeling feisty.
We haven't mystified swears, on the contrary, we have educated about swears
and where they come from, but my thoughts were around hearing my teenage
sons incorporate it into their everyday language. They both have spent time
with crowds of teenagers a lot lately, in particular having to do with the
band they are putting together, and I believe it is just the culture of what
they are doing. Also their dad is a frequent swearer, and I guess I can only
have so much control over this home environment that way.
And I guess the struggle is: do I say something at this point when they have
been given the information already, or do I just leave it and let the world
around them give them the feedback?
"they both had a fascination with cuss words at one
time or another."
My guys don't seem fascinated, just talk with swears mixed in. In fact, they
seem completely comfortable with it, almost oblivious to it. It's not at all
what I do, which is why I think it is an internal struggle for me, but one
that I haven't acted on too much, except like Karen said, to give them
information about how others tend to see this.
And I guess that it is true that they know when NOT to swear, so they
probably see the whole picture just fine.
Thank you,
Jacki
"I've offered a chance for my 10 yo to go in a room or somewhere no one
will hear him, and just scream out all the cuss words he can think of. He
wouldn't take me up on it."
That's so funny, because we do the same thing with our ten year old, only he
ALWAYS takes us up on it:) Come to think of it, it usually starts with him
saying, "Can I say a whole bunch of cuss words?" to which we always reply,
"Sure!" and the whole family often then embarks on trying to outdo each
other in creativity and combinations. This is sometimes in the car together,
or after a family meeting or some other time when we're all together and
someone is feeling feisty.
We haven't mystified swears, on the contrary, we have educated about swears
and where they come from, but my thoughts were around hearing my teenage
sons incorporate it into their everyday language. They both have spent time
with crowds of teenagers a lot lately, in particular having to do with the
band they are putting together, and I believe it is just the culture of what
they are doing. Also their dad is a frequent swearer, and I guess I can only
have so much control over this home environment that way.
And I guess the struggle is: do I say something at this point when they have
been given the information already, or do I just leave it and let the world
around them give them the feedback?
"they both had a fascination with cuss words at one
time or another."
My guys don't seem fascinated, just talk with swears mixed in. In fact, they
seem completely comfortable with it, almost oblivious to it. It's not at all
what I do, which is why I think it is an internal struggle for me, but one
that I haven't acted on too much, except like Karen said, to give them
information about how others tend to see this.
And I guess that it is true that they know when NOT to swear, so they
probably see the whole picture just fine.
Thank you,
Jacki
Gold Standard
" if
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences."
Yeah, this is kind of what I'm wondering about. It sounds like your idea is
to let them figure it out, especially if they have good information to make
the choices.
"I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me"
Yes, actually their friends swear more around me than they do, and I think
the friends see me in Rome with them. They are comfortable with me and act
themselves around me, but my own sons seem to know intuitively that I'm not
crazy about them swearing a lot (like you, probably because I don't swear
all that much) but I've noticed more and more it is part of their talk now
with their friends. I think I just have some control issues around this,
having a hard time letting go. And questioning if I should let it go.
Thank you Sondra,
Jacki
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences."
Yeah, this is kind of what I'm wondering about. It sounds like your idea is
to let them figure it out, especially if they have good information to make
the choices.
"I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me"
Yes, actually their friends swear more around me than they do, and I think
the friends see me in Rome with them. They are comfortable with me and act
themselves around me, but my own sons seem to know intuitively that I'm not
crazy about them swearing a lot (like you, probably because I don't swear
all that much) but I've noticed more and more it is part of their talk now
with their friends. I think I just have some control issues around this,
having a hard time letting go. And questioning if I should let it go.
Thank you Sondra,
Jacki
Sondra Carr
You know - I certainly don't know what should and shouldn't be done - but I
keep coming back to my own intuition to treat kids like I would a friend in
a similar situation. If a friend was swearing a lot around me and it made me
feel uncomfortable - or say a friend of a friend started saying bigoted
stuff - I think it's my right to say "Ya know - that really bothers me when
you say that." And if the people (whether it's friend of friend or my own
kids) have been raised with respect and know it's given to them then my
experience is that they try to respect other's wishes too - unless they have
damned good reason not to. I could see this conversation in a few years with
my daughter and maybe she'll make a point like "I respect this mom but my
friends are hardly ever here and I'd like to make them feel comfy - can we
expand our comfort zones for a few hours?" or something like that. They
already do negotiations like this telling their point of view to counter
mine.
But you're also right about looking at the possibility that it's your own
boundaries - it's really difficult to know if you really see logic in
something or it's just so conditioned in you that you really have never
thought about it. I can't possibly count the number of times I've come face
to face with that. We never realize how much of what we just accept actually
is simply tradition and we've never really thought it through. Luckily, when
you allow your kids to be themselves (more and more as we are all evolving
in this ourselves) they grow up to challenge those ideas and help us in
expanding our minds.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: Gold Standard [mailto:jacki@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 12:02 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] swearing
" if
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences."
Yeah, this is kind of what I'm wondering about. It sounds like your idea is
to let them figure it out, especially if they have good information to make
the choices.
"I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me"
Yes, actually their friends swear more around me than they do, and I think
the friends see me in Rome with them. They are comfortable with me and act
themselves around me, but my own sons seem to know intuitively that I'm not
crazy about them swearing a lot (like you, probably because I don't swear
all that much) but I've noticed more and more it is part of their talk now
with their friends. I think I just have some control issues around this,
having a hard time letting go. And questioning if I should let it go.
Thank you Sondra,
Jacki
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keep coming back to my own intuition to treat kids like I would a friend in
a similar situation. If a friend was swearing a lot around me and it made me
feel uncomfortable - or say a friend of a friend started saying bigoted
stuff - I think it's my right to say "Ya know - that really bothers me when
you say that." And if the people (whether it's friend of friend or my own
kids) have been raised with respect and know it's given to them then my
experience is that they try to respect other's wishes too - unless they have
damned good reason not to. I could see this conversation in a few years with
my daughter and maybe she'll make a point like "I respect this mom but my
friends are hardly ever here and I'd like to make them feel comfy - can we
expand our comfort zones for a few hours?" or something like that. They
already do negotiations like this telling their point of view to counter
mine.
But you're also right about looking at the possibility that it's your own
boundaries - it's really difficult to know if you really see logic in
something or it's just so conditioned in you that you really have never
thought about it. I can't possibly count the number of times I've come face
to face with that. We never realize how much of what we just accept actually
is simply tradition and we've never really thought it through. Luckily, when
you allow your kids to be themselves (more and more as we are all evolving
in this ourselves) they grow up to challenge those ideas and help us in
expanding our minds.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: Gold Standard [mailto:jacki@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 12:02 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] swearing
" if
you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long as
you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences."
Yeah, this is kind of what I'm wondering about. It sounds like your idea is
to let them figure it out, especially if they have good information to make
the choices.
"I know my kids swear, but
they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot and
when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me"
Yes, actually their friends swear more around me than they do, and I think
the friends see me in Rome with them. They are comfortable with me and act
themselves around me, but my own sons seem to know intuitively that I'm not
crazy about them swearing a lot (like you, probably because I don't swear
all that much) but I've noticed more and more it is part of their talk now
with their friends. I think I just have some control issues around this,
having a hard time letting go. And questioning if I should let it go.
Thank you Sondra,
Jacki
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
None of my kids swear in the company of adults and only one swears much with
kids (Hell and damnation are his favorites). Dh and I rarely swear and not
in front of the kids at all.
The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from Kinder
telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear them. I
usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is about the
most discussion we have ever had about it.
Julie S.
kids (Hell and damnation are his favorites). Dh and I rarely swear and not
in front of the kids at all.
The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from Kinder
telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear them. I
usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is about the
most discussion we have ever had about it.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sondra Carr" <sondracarr@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, September 27, 2004 5:04 PM
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] swearing
> I handle this the same way that I handle my son wanting to wear dresses -
> explain that I probably cringe because I've been conditioned a certain way
> but that logically there is no real reason that certain words are worse
than
> others. I tell them that my experience has been that for a very
complicated
> variety of reasons, people have developed all these weird ideas about what
> kids should and shouldn't do, men and women should and shouldn't do, etc.
> And as far as the swearing thing - I noticed that when you became an
adult,
> there were certain situations where it was not acceptable to swear and
> others where it would be highly advisable NOT to swear. I've always talked
> about these cultural issues when I thought about or read about them and so
> this is not a new discussion. I also believe - and share that belief that
if
> you are willing to take the consequences then do what you want - as long
as
> you aren't physically invading someone. If the other person can walk away
> then do what you want but be prepared for the likely consequences. I make
> sure they really get what the consequences are and if they complain later
> about the consequences, I offer what I would to a friend - options about
how
> to change opinions of others - we do a lot of brainstorming about these
> things. As a result - I rarely cringe anymore. I know my kids swear, but
> they don't do it a lot around me - probably because I don't do it a lot
and
> when you remove the "shouldn'ts" and replace it with "when in Rome" that's
> what they end up doing - and that seems pretty logical to me.
>
>
>
> Sondra
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
averyschmidt
> The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus fromKinder
> telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hearthem. I
> usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That isabout the
> most discussion we have ever had about it.When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
communication that's really important IMO.
Patti
J. Stauffer
<<<<If I
see if I was going to freak out, if I was going to give the words some big
power to shock....I didn't want to do that.
And to be honest, I really didn't want to hear it. My kids listen to
whatever kind of music they want, watch whatever kind of tv they want....but
they have seen me turn off movies that I picked or change radio stations I
chose because I don't like being cussed at.
I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>.
Julie S.
> told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear aboutThat is a possibility. My impression from the kids is that they wanted to
> what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
> communication that's really important IMO.>>>>
see if I was going to freak out, if I was going to give the words some big
power to shock....I didn't want to do that.
And to be honest, I really didn't want to hear it. My kids listen to
whatever kind of music they want, watch whatever kind of tv they want....but
they have seen me turn off movies that I picked or change radio stations I
chose because I don't like being cussed at.
I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "averyschmidt" <patti.schmidt2@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 8:10 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
> > The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from
> Kinder
> > telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear
> them. I
> > usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is
> about the
> > most discussion we have ever had about it.
>
> When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
> discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
> the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
> also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
> heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
> as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
> My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
> Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
> told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
> what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
> communication that's really important IMO.
>
> Patti
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/28/2004 9:26:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
communication that's really important IMO.<<<
I stress that there is no such thing as a "bad" word----just more or in-
appropriate times to use some words.
Cameron and I spent an hour drive going through all the names for male and
female body parts. It was a good time! <g> He told me a couple I didn't know,
and I gave him a slew of new ones!
In my dog world, bitch is MORE than acceptable. Duncan has heard at a
friend's house that this is a BAD, BAD word (mom has some huge issue with it, I
guess). We talk about dogs and bitches here all the time----it's just casual
conversation. Dunc still gets upset when he hears it.
I cuss like a sailor (even on-line---just not on e-lists <g> But watch out
if I IM you! <G>). I can "control" myself around my mother's friends, around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit! <BWG>
I don't care at all if they swear----I'd just rather they know when it's
appropriate, and they can learn that from me!
~Kelly, *^%$#^*()(^%$#&&*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
communication that's really important IMO.<<<
I stress that there is no such thing as a "bad" word----just more or in-
appropriate times to use some words.
Cameron and I spent an hour drive going through all the names for male and
female body parts. It was a good time! <g> He told me a couple I didn't know,
and I gave him a slew of new ones!
In my dog world, bitch is MORE than acceptable. Duncan has heard at a
friend's house that this is a BAD, BAD word (mom has some huge issue with it, I
guess). We talk about dogs and bitches here all the time----it's just casual
conversation. Dunc still gets upset when he hears it.
I cuss like a sailor (even on-line---just not on e-lists <g> But watch out
if I IM you! <G>). I can "control" myself around my mother's friends, around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit! <BWG>
I don't care at all if they swear----I'd just rather they know when it's
appropriate, and they can learn that from me!
~Kelly, *^%$#^*()(^%$#&&*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gold Standard
"None of my kids swear in the company of adults and only one swears much
with
kids (Hell and damnation are his favorites). Dh and I rarely swear and not
in front of the kids at all."
I'm wondering the ages of your children. I do believe that if they don't
hear swearing, they probably won't use it. Mine are 14 and 15 and have
entered a world beyond their home. That world includes teenagers who swear,
and I'm not about to become prudish about it, or put my uptightness on that
situation. I have to question why it's bothering me.
"The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from Kinder
telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear them. I
usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is about the
most discussion we have ever had about it."
Doesn't this cut off an area of communication? I imagine that they really
want to tell you, and if they can't tell you, where will that desire go?
Honest questions.
Thanks,
Jacki
with
kids (Hell and damnation are his favorites). Dh and I rarely swear and not
in front of the kids at all."
I'm wondering the ages of your children. I do believe that if they don't
hear swearing, they probably won't use it. Mine are 14 and 15 and have
entered a world beyond their home. That world includes teenagers who swear,
and I'm not about to become prudish about it, or put my uptightness on that
situation. I have to question why it's bothering me.
"The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from Kinder
telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear them. I
usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is about the
most discussion we have ever had about it."
Doesn't this cut off an area of communication? I imagine that they really
want to tell you, and if they can't tell you, where will that desire go?
Honest questions.
Thanks,
Jacki
Gold Standard
"I stress that there is no such thing as a "bad" word----just more or in-
appropriate times to use some words."
Yeah, this is along my line of thinking. If people researched the history of
most swear words, they may be surprised at how calling a word "bad" is
actually contributing to the original bias of making the word "bad". Because
I know this, it brings me to the question, "Why am I bothered?" Because of
my baggage. I don't think I have a whole lot compared to most people, but I
do have this.
"I cuss like a sailor"
:-)
"I can "control" myself around my mother's friends, around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they
follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit!"
Yes, I'm pretty sure my guys are the same way...just swearing with their
friends. And because we discuss so much, THEY've known the history of most
swears for a while, and make the choice to see them as no big deal...but
also they know that most people don't see it that way and I believe choose
accordingly. That's what they tell me anyhoo, and I haven't seen otherwise.
"If a friend was swearing a lot around me and it made me
feel uncomfortable - or say a friend of a friend started saying bigoted
stuff - I think it's my right to say "Ya know - that really bothers me when
you say that."
Yes, I agree. But it doesn't bother me in the least when other people swear.
I wouldn't ask them to stop, in fact there is something refreshing to me
when I hear someone breaking through those barriers (Kelly, I've got to IM
you sometime!). Which is why I'm understanding that this is more a hang-up
for me. My parents did not allow swearing, for the typical reasons and ones
which made no sense to me, did swear themselves on occasion, and I saw this
as OOOOOOOO, and the stigma was just ingrained.
I also think that there is a little voice in me that says I will be judged
for my guys' behavior. THAT could be a driving force as well :)
Thanks for all the input...it is very helpful.
Jacki
[
appropriate times to use some words."
Yeah, this is along my line of thinking. If people researched the history of
most swear words, they may be surprised at how calling a word "bad" is
actually contributing to the original bias of making the word "bad". Because
I know this, it brings me to the question, "Why am I bothered?" Because of
my baggage. I don't think I have a whole lot compared to most people, but I
do have this.
"I cuss like a sailor"
:-)
"I can "control" myself around my mother's friends, around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they
follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit!"
Yes, I'm pretty sure my guys are the same way...just swearing with their
friends. And because we discuss so much, THEY've known the history of most
swears for a while, and make the choice to see them as no big deal...but
also they know that most people don't see it that way and I believe choose
accordingly. That's what they tell me anyhoo, and I haven't seen otherwise.
"If a friend was swearing a lot around me and it made me
feel uncomfortable - or say a friend of a friend started saying bigoted
stuff - I think it's my right to say "Ya know - that really bothers me when
you say that."
Yes, I agree. But it doesn't bother me in the least when other people swear.
I wouldn't ask them to stop, in fact there is something refreshing to me
when I hear someone breaking through those barriers (Kelly, I've got to IM
you sometime!). Which is why I'm understanding that this is more a hang-up
for me. My parents did not allow swearing, for the typical reasons and ones
which made no sense to me, did swear themselves on occasion, and I saw this
as OOOOOOOO, and the stigma was just ingrained.
I also think that there is a little voice in me that says I will be judged
for my guys' behavior. THAT could be a driving force as well :)
Thanks for all the input...it is very helpful.
Jacki
[
Kathryn Balley
Gold Standard <jacki@...> wrote:I'm interested in different ways unschoolers handle swearing.
I have generally just gently said something to the effect of, "That word isn't really very polite." Often, the child hasn't thought about that and has just been trying out something new that they heard and, once they have this information about how it sounds, they don't choose that word again.
Good luck,
Kathryn
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have generally just gently said something to the effect of, "That word isn't really very polite." Often, the child hasn't thought about that and has just been trying out something new that they heard and, once they have this information about how it sounds, they don't choose that word again.
Good luck,
Kathryn
---------------------------------
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vote.yahoo.com - Register online to vote today!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/28/04 7:39:43 AM, jnjstau@... writes:
<< I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>. >>
Having done all three, I think there's a time and place for such things. I
don't think uttering a word is the same as the other two, but my kids are all
very good about knowing their audience. I don't say anything if they "say a
bad word," but they have always used them in context, not as weapons, not to
hurt people, and not just for shock value. So with them it's not a big deal.
Of my family, I'm the worst to say something and my kids are the best at
elbowing me to remind me that there are younger kids or squeamish mothers or
unknown-element newer folk present.
I like the opportunity to discuss the socio-political and linguistic
histories of "bad words." We've been watching lots of English movies and video, and
the American/Brit differences are fun. Holly likes Futurama, and the robot is
named "Bender." He bends things. In American slang, "a bender" is a long
session of drunkenness. And Bender drinks. But then I had forgotten the
British English slang having to do with. . . one man bending another over.
So when the end theme song to "Money" came on (from the second season of
Black Adder), there is a word which is NOT "a bad word" here, and a word Holly
likes because of Futurama, and we were afforded a discussion moment:
". . .and if your finances do fail,
make sure your banker's not a bender.
"Blackadder, Blackadder,
he trusted in the church.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
it left him in the lurch."
Sandra
<< I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>. >>
Having done all three, I think there's a time and place for such things. I
don't think uttering a word is the same as the other two, but my kids are all
very good about knowing their audience. I don't say anything if they "say a
bad word," but they have always used them in context, not as weapons, not to
hurt people, and not just for shock value. So with them it's not a big deal.
Of my family, I'm the worst to say something and my kids are the best at
elbowing me to remind me that there are younger kids or squeamish mothers or
unknown-element newer folk present.
I like the opportunity to discuss the socio-political and linguistic
histories of "bad words." We've been watching lots of English movies and video, and
the American/Brit differences are fun. Holly likes Futurama, and the robot is
named "Bender." He bends things. In American slang, "a bender" is a long
session of drunkenness. And Bender drinks. But then I had forgotten the
British English slang having to do with. . . one man bending another over.
So when the end theme song to "Money" came on (from the second season of
Black Adder), there is a word which is NOT "a bad word" here, and a word Holly
likes because of Futurama, and we were afforded a discussion moment:
". . .and if your finances do fail,
make sure your banker's not a bender.
"Blackadder, Blackadder,
he trusted in the church.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
it left him in the lurch."
Sandra
Sondra Carr
Hahahahaa - you know - the other thing that concerned me about limiting
swear words is that for writers, they are absolutely necessary. I think an
ability to utilize the whole language is imperative and I hate the thought
of taking a chunk of pretty powerful words away - they also provide great
lessons on how language grows. They are really fascinating in many ways.
When you label something "bad", you hide it away and it loses all that good
potential. Also, although I don't swear a lot - I find that in certain
circumstances, expletive communication is just what's needed - and as my
grandmother showed me long ago - when that sweet, Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts.
I tell my kids that story to show them the power and responsibility that go
along with certain methods of communication.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: J. Stauffer [mailto:jnjstau@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:21 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>.
Julie S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
swear words is that for writers, they are absolutely necessary. I think an
ability to utilize the whole language is imperative and I hate the thought
of taking a chunk of pretty powerful words away - they also provide great
lessons on how language grows. They are really fascinating in many ways.
When you label something "bad", you hide it away and it loses all that good
potential. Also, although I don't swear a lot - I find that in certain
circumstances, expletive communication is just what's needed - and as my
grandmother showed me long ago - when that sweet, Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts.
I tell my kids that story to show them the power and responsibility that go
along with certain methods of communication.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: J. Stauffer [mailto:jnjstau@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:21 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
I think cussing is absolutely normal and I handle it the same way I handle
nose picking and masturbating. Do it all you want but I don't particularly
want to be involved <grin>.
Julie S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sondra Carr
You know - this whole thread made me think of how bothersome certain slang
is to me and how I had to train myself to not just randomly squash THAT with
my kids more than swearing. I don't know why, but I'd rather be called a
swearword than "dude". It just makes me cringe when I hear my babies talking
street slang. I remember handling this with my daughter when she was first
in school (very badly I should confess) - and you know - it's not been an
issue since they have not been in school. But eventually, I looked at it and
thought I need to handle this logically and without personal emotions - so I
just told my daughter what my fears were in relation to that - once I
figured them out for myself - and then I let go and let her decide. She
played with it for a while and then dropped it. I learned a valuable lesson
in the process - about myself, and how kids really learn - what they test,
what they hold on to.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:48 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
In a message dated 9/28/2004 9:26:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
communication that's really important IMO.<<<
I stress that there is no such thing as a "bad" word----just more or in-
appropriate times to use some words.
Cameron and I spent an hour drive going through all the names for male and
female body parts. It was a good time! <g> He told me a couple I didn't
know,
and I gave him a slew of new ones!
In my dog world, bitch is MORE than acceptable. Duncan has heard at a
friend's house that this is a BAD, BAD word (mom has some huge issue with
it, I
guess). We talk about dogs and bitches here all the time----it's just casual
conversation. Dunc still gets upset when he hears it.
I cuss like a sailor (even on-line---just not on e-lists <g> But watch out
if I IM you! <G>). I can "control" myself around my mother's friends,
around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they
follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit! <BWG>
I don't care at all if they swear----I'd just rather they know when it's
appropriate, and they can learn that from me!
~Kelly, *^%$#^*()(^%$#&&*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
is to me and how I had to train myself to not just randomly squash THAT with
my kids more than swearing. I don't know why, but I'd rather be called a
swearword than "dude". It just makes me cringe when I hear my babies talking
street slang. I remember handling this with my daughter when she was first
in school (very badly I should confess) - and you know - it's not been an
issue since they have not been in school. But eventually, I looked at it and
thought I need to handle this logically and without personal emotions - so I
just told my daughter what my fears were in relation to that - once I
figured them out for myself - and then I let go and let her decide. She
played with it for a while and then dropped it. I learned a valuable lesson
in the process - about myself, and how kids really learn - what they test,
what they hold on to.
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:48 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
In a message dated 9/28/2004 9:26:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
When my kids come across a new "bad" word or phrase we always
discuss it. Sometimes it's helpful for them to know exactly what
the word or phrase means, whether or not it's a "bad" word that's
also mean or hurtful (some are and some aren't), what context they
heard it in, when it might be of questionable appropriateness to say
as opposed to *definitely* inappropriate to say, etc.
My kids also ask me about language they hear in movies (the South
Park movie sparked a whole lot of conversation for example). If I
told my kids that I didn't particularly care to hear about
what "bad" words they learned it would cut off a whole line of
communication that's really important IMO.<<<
I stress that there is no such thing as a "bad" word----just more or in-
appropriate times to use some words.
Cameron and I spent an hour drive going through all the names for male and
female body parts. It was a good time! <g> He told me a couple I didn't
know,
and I gave him a slew of new ones!
In my dog world, bitch is MORE than acceptable. Duncan has heard at a
friend's house that this is a BAD, BAD word (mom has some huge issue with
it, I
guess). We talk about dogs and bitches here all the time----it's just casual
conversation. Dunc still gets upset when he hears it.
I cuss like a sailor (even on-line---just not on e-lists <g> But watch out
if I IM you! <G>). I can "control" myself around my mother's friends,
around
small children, not-my-own, and out in public. The boys see this; they
follow
suit. It's not hard! It just involves thinking a little bit! <BWG>
I don't care at all if they swear----I'd just rather they know when it's
appropriate, and they can learn that from me!
~Kelly, *^%$#^*()(^%$#&&*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/28/04 10:40:51 AM, sondracarr@... writes:
<< when that sweet, Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. >>
Years ago I worked at a print shop with three others and the owner. We all
knew one another well and for years before we worked together. The owner had
been an air traffic controller who went on strike in the 70s and so was
unemployed.
So he's running a print shop, with machines he had already had at home and he
knew well. He is a very quiet guy (still in our lives, Holly's godfather),
and soft spoken in every way.
Offset print shops can be very loud, and there was all kinds of ka-chuck and
slice and chop and sort noise all the time. One day we heard Ray say clearly
and plainly (not yelling) "DAMN it."
The rest of us were in the front room and he was in back. My first thought
was maybe he had cut his finger off or something horrible, it was so out of
character for him. We all went absolutely big-eyed, non-breathing silent and
then tried not to laugh.
Sandra
We had never
<< when that sweet, Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. >>
Years ago I worked at a print shop with three others and the owner. We all
knew one another well and for years before we worked together. The owner had
been an air traffic controller who went on strike in the 70s and so was
unemployed.
So he's running a print shop, with machines he had already had at home and he
knew well. He is a very quiet guy (still in our lives, Holly's godfather),
and soft spoken in every way.
Offset print shops can be very loud, and there was all kinds of ka-chuck and
slice and chop and sort noise all the time. One day we heard Ray say clearly
and plainly (not yelling) "DAMN it."
The rest of us were in the front room and he was in back. My first thought
was maybe he had cut his finger off or something horrible, it was so out of
character for him. We all went absolutely big-eyed, non-breathing silent and
then tried not to laugh.
Sandra
We had never
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/28/04 9:49:40 AM, kballey@... writes:
<< I have generally just gently said something to the effect of, "That word
isn't really very polite." >>
Words are neither polite nor impolite.
It might be not very polite of a person to use a word in a certain place or
context, but the words are just mouth-noise.
I grew up with people who would wash mouths out with soap (it didn't happen
to me but it happened to cousins and neighbors, and a teacher did it once at
school with that brown paper towelling and the yellow liquid soap--made a boy
hold his tongue out and wiped the soap on it), and spank for "bad words." The
damage of soap-in-mouth and spanking and the clear lack of regard for the
person were and are MUCH worse, in my opinion, than any word itself.
If someone breaks a glass and says "son of a bitch," that neither calls
anyone a bastard nor hurts anyone. If they say "Darn" instead, that's just short
for God damn it to hell.
My mom used to get angry if we said "gosh" or "guy" because that was short
for "gosh darn it" or "Golly" which were short for "God damn it" or "God."
HUGE waste of air and energy for her to object to that, with a beer in one hand a
cigarette in the other. It was almost as though she had wrecked her life but
she might still be somewhat redeemed if we were "perfect."
Sandra
<< I have generally just gently said something to the effect of, "That word
isn't really very polite." >>
Words are neither polite nor impolite.
It might be not very polite of a person to use a word in a certain place or
context, but the words are just mouth-noise.
I grew up with people who would wash mouths out with soap (it didn't happen
to me but it happened to cousins and neighbors, and a teacher did it once at
school with that brown paper towelling and the yellow liquid soap--made a boy
hold his tongue out and wiped the soap on it), and spank for "bad words." The
damage of soap-in-mouth and spanking and the clear lack of regard for the
person were and are MUCH worse, in my opinion, than any word itself.
If someone breaks a glass and says "son of a bitch," that neither calls
anyone a bastard nor hurts anyone. If they say "Darn" instead, that's just short
for God damn it to hell.
My mom used to get angry if we said "gosh" or "guy" because that was short
for "gosh darn it" or "Golly" which were short for "God damn it" or "God."
HUGE waste of air and energy for her to object to that, with a beer in one hand a
cigarette in the other. It was almost as though she had wrecked her life but
she might still be somewhat redeemed if we were "perfect."
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/28/2004 12:36:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sondracarr@... writes:
Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. <<<<
OK---here is where the "bad word" pisses me off.
My niece, five at the time, said she wasn't allowed to watch "Rugrats"
because of the "bad words". Now, I've watched enough Nickelodeon to know that they
wouldn't allow certain words to be used on one of their shows.
So I asked, "What bad word?"
"The S-word!"
I though a minute. They say *shit* on "Rugrats"?????
I questioned further----"What s-word?"
She said, "You know the S-word! SSSS SSTTTT <whispering> ooooo
Stoooooo-----you know----stoooo pid."
Riiiiight. The S-word!
So my niece isn't allowed to watch "Rugrats" because of the bad language!
Shit! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sondracarr@... writes:
Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. <<<<
OK---here is where the "bad word" pisses me off.
My niece, five at the time, said she wasn't allowed to watch "Rugrats"
because of the "bad words". Now, I've watched enough Nickelodeon to know that they
wouldn't allow certain words to be used on one of their shows.
So I asked, "What bad word?"
"The S-word!"
I though a minute. They say *shit* on "Rugrats"?????
I questioned further----"What s-word?"
She said, "You know the S-word! SSSS SSTTTT <whispering> ooooo
Stoooooo-----you know----stoooo pid."
Riiiiight. The S-word!
So my niece isn't allowed to watch "Rugrats" because of the bad language!
Shit! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gold Standard
>>So I asked, "What bad word?"ooooo
>>"The S-word!"
>>I questioned further----"What s-word?"
>>She said, "You know the S-word! SSSS SSTTTT <whispering>
Stoooooo-----you know----stoooo pid."
>>Riiiiight. The S-word!<<I certainly find "stupid" to be much more of a "bad" word than "shit", if
words were "bad", but I wouldn't censor it for chrissakes!
<G>
Jacki
Sondra Carr
Reminds me of a story my dad told me once about his time in Hollywood. He
was a comedian at the time and got some limited success then dropped out of
it. He actually got to do some writing for the tonight show and got a spot
doing his bit on the Dinah Shore show. He had all these jokes about "stupid
people" that were like ethnic jokes or blonde jokes but not bigoted because
ya know - it was about something you could control. And the producer, after
hearing his act in a rehearsal, told him he couldn't do those jokes because
they might offend stupid people. To which he replied "Do you really think
stupid people would understand that they are stupid enough to be offended?"
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 4:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
In a message dated 9/28/2004 12:36:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sondracarr@... writes:
Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. <<<<
OK---here is where the "bad word" pisses me off.
My niece, five at the time, said she wasn't allowed to watch "Rugrats"
because of the "bad words". Now, I've watched enough Nickelodeon to know
that they
wouldn't allow certain words to be used on one of their shows.
So I asked, "What bad word?"
"The S-word!"
I though a minute. They say *shit* on "Rugrats"?????
I questioned further----"What s-word?"
She said, "You know the S-word! SSSS SSTTTT <whispering> ooooo
Stoooooo-----you know----stoooo pid."
Riiiiight. The S-word!
So my niece isn't allowed to watch "Rugrats" because of the bad language!
Shit! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
was a comedian at the time and got some limited success then dropped out of
it. He actually got to do some writing for the tonight show and got a spot
doing his bit on the Dinah Shore show. He had all these jokes about "stupid
people" that were like ethnic jokes or blonde jokes but not bigoted because
ya know - it was about something you could control. And the producer, after
hearing his act in a rehearsal, told him he couldn't do those jokes because
they might offend stupid people. To which he replied "Do you really think
stupid people would understand that they are stupid enough to be offended?"
Sondra
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@... [mailto:kbcdlovejo@...]
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 4:12 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: swearing
In a message dated 9/28/2004 12:36:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sondracarr@... writes:
Christian woman got
frustrated enough to utter the "s" word and an entire room went silent -
when you use them sparingly, they are a secret weapon of sorts. <<<<
OK---here is where the "bad word" pisses me off.
My niece, five at the time, said she wasn't allowed to watch "Rugrats"
because of the "bad words". Now, I've watched enough Nickelodeon to know
that they
wouldn't allow certain words to be used on one of their shows.
So I asked, "What bad word?"
"The S-word!"
I though a minute. They say *shit* on "Rugrats"?????
I questioned further----"What s-word?"
She said, "You know the S-word! SSSS SSTTTT <whispering> ooooo
Stoooooo-----you know----stoooo pid."
Riiiiight. The S-word!
So my niece isn't allowed to watch "Rugrats" because of the bad language!
Shit! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
<http://us.ard.yahoo.com/SIG=129el3baq/M=295196.4901138.6071305.3001176/D=gr
oups/S=1705542111:HM/EXP=1096488769/A=2128215/R=0/SIG=10se96mf6/*http:/compa
nion.yahoo.com> click here
<http://us.adserver.yahoo.com/l?M=295196.4901138.6071305.3001176/D=groups/S=
:HM/A=2128215/rand=292110305>
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<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<< I'm wondering the ages of your children.>>>>
They are 13, 11, 7, 5 and 5.
I answered the rest in another post.
Julie S.
They are 13, 11, 7, 5 and 5.
I answered the rest in another post.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gold Standard" <jacki@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:48 AM
Subject: RE: [AlwaysLearning] swearing
> "None of my kids swear in the company of adults and only one swears much
> with
> kids (Hell and damnation are his favorites). Dh and I rarely swear and
not
> in front of the kids at all."
>
> I'm wondering the ages of your children. I do believe that if they don't
> hear swearing, they probably won't use it. Mine are 14 and 15 and have
> entered a world beyond their home. That world includes teenagers who
swear,
> and I'm not about to become prudish about it, or put my uptightness on
that
> situation. I have to question why it's bothering me.
>
> "The kids that have gone to school usually get off the bus from Kinder
> telling me they learned all the "bad" words and did I want to hear them.
I
> usually say "not particularly" and go about my business. That is about
the
> most discussion we have ever had about it."
>
> Doesn't this cut off an area of communication? I imagine that they really
> want to tell you, and if they can't tell you, where will that desire go?
>
> Honest questions.
>
> Thanks,
> Jacki
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
Kathryn Balley
SandraDodd@... wrote:
<<Words are neither polite nor impolite.>>
To be more precise: I would say something to the effect of: "That's not a very polite thing to say" ("polite" meaning:showing good manners towards others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil (Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary pg. 1497) ) or, "I'm sure you could think of a kinder way of saying that." Of course, this does not apply only to "swearing" or "cussing" or using derogatory slang it is about creating an atmosphere by the words (or other mouth noise) we choose and the emotions behind them.
Kathryn
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<<Words are neither polite nor impolite.>>
To be more precise: I would say something to the effect of: "That's not a very polite thing to say" ("polite" meaning:showing good manners towards others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil (Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary pg. 1497) ) or, "I'm sure you could think of a kinder way of saying that." Of course, this does not apply only to "swearing" or "cussing" or using derogatory slang it is about creating an atmosphere by the words (or other mouth noise) we choose and the emotions behind them.
Kathryn
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail is new and improved - Check it out!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gold Standard
SandraDodd@... wrote:
<<Words are neither polite nor impolite.>>
others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil (Webster's
Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary pg. 1497) ) or, "I'm sure you could think
of a kinder way of saying that." Of course, this does not apply only to
"swearing" or "cussing" or using derogatory slang it is about creating an
atmosphere by the words (or other mouth noise) we choose and the emotions
behind them.<<
I see this issue as more of one of the talker's tone and intent. I agree
that words can not be polite or impolite. People are polite or impolite. I
think a person can say anything in a way that is loving, big smile, arms
extended, "You big bastaaaard" or with anger and spite, "YOU BIG
BASTARD!!!". The tone is what is really heard. We sometimes say the nastiest
things to our dogs in the most loving and affectionate ways, just for
laughs, knowing that we truly are loving them, they know we are exuding love
love love, and in those moments we are showing the meaninglessness of the
words. The dogs are happy as anything, and know what we mean.
I don't think calling people names in a seemingly joking way is a good idea.
My point is that words are often nothing on their own without the meaning
that people put behind them.
Jacki
<<Words are neither polite nor impolite.>>
>>To be more precise: I would say something to the effect of: "That's not avery polite thing to >>say" "polite" meaning:showing good manners towards
others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil (Webster's
Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary pg. 1497) ) or, "I'm sure you could think
of a kinder way of saying that." Of course, this does not apply only to
"swearing" or "cussing" or using derogatory slang it is about creating an
atmosphere by the words (or other mouth noise) we choose and the emotions
behind them.<<
I see this issue as more of one of the talker's tone and intent. I agree
that words can not be polite or impolite. People are polite or impolite. I
think a person can say anything in a way that is loving, big smile, arms
extended, "You big bastaaaard" or with anger and spite, "YOU BIG
BASTARD!!!". The tone is what is really heard. We sometimes say the nastiest
things to our dogs in the most loving and affectionate ways, just for
laughs, knowing that we truly are loving them, they know we are exuding love
love love, and in those moments we are showing the meaninglessness of the
words. The dogs are happy as anything, and know what we mean.
I don't think calling people names in a seemingly joking way is a good idea.
My point is that words are often nothing on their own without the meaning
that people put behind them.
Jacki
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/29/2004 12:28:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
jacki@... writes:
I don't think calling people names in a seemingly joking way is a good idea.
My point is that words are often nothing on their own without the meaning
that people put behind them.<<<<
And it's not necessarily the meaning or the tone.
"Not now."
"In a minute."
"Be nice."
"Thank you."
"She's really nice."
Can all be really nasty and impolite.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jacki@... writes:
I don't think calling people names in a seemingly joking way is a good idea.
My point is that words are often nothing on their own without the meaning
that people put behind them.<<<<
And it's not necessarily the meaning or the tone.
"Not now."
"In a minute."
"Be nice."
"Thank you."
"She's really nice."
Can all be really nasty and impolite.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]