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Hi Katy -
Often the 1st few times I encounter a situation, I feel frozen and unable to
respond. After thinking about it, I feel more ready to try something
different (than nothing) the next time.

Something that has been meaningful to me has been trying to connect with
mothers who are in that harried, scared(?), frustrated, overwhelmed state by
offering empathy and assistance. I try to connecting with the mother's frustration
and then the children's experience. I try to offer assistance and be
friendly to the mother and child. Sometimes I simply interrupt the anger and ask for
the time, directions, or whatever and then strike up a conversation to
hopefully turn things around. Sometimes, I throw in a comment like 'spanking
doesn't help anything in the long run but sometimes it can be hard to think of
something else when we feel so frustrated!"

I have found exchanges like this to be meaningful to my children, too, in
that they are aware of the compassionate response. That's impt to me bec. I
often resort to judgment.

Also, I think the situation you described is different than what Sandra
described. I think I more easily connect with the 'harried/frustrated'. I'll have
to look at that more for myself.

Anyway, aside from the debate about spanking, I believe that 'hurt people
hurt people" so when someone wants to hurt another, it speaks to their own
issues.

Best wishes,
Jane


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