Eric Donato

Hello, I am recently new here, and just want to share a loosely related
experience, showing how I have been changing and how much I appreciate
having others for support in unschooling... I am a mom of 3 boys ages
8, 6, 3yrs, homeschooling rather unhappily/ ambivalently for 3-4 years,
basically up a creek without a paddle was how I saw myself...

I was at the grocery store today, I normally don't go out on weekends
because it is overwhelmingly crowded in Los Angeles, that was my
reasoning... yet I had a really great time, which got me thinking about
all the rules and expectations I have and don't challenge... one of the
reasons I don't challenge my own thinking is that the perspective is
just not there, I have no perspective of myself when I am self
centered, which I am growing out of slowly and consciously... I am very
good at reasoning for control and it has been a struggle for me to let
things go, not be right, see things from a different side, a long windy
road so far in this life... having babies really brought changes,
because well it's impossible to be available for anyone else with my
ego taking highest priority... so I have had a very hard time with
homeschooling, and unschooling just seemed impossible though I wanted
to understand it and get out of my mind trap... I have been working for
years to let many personal issues go and just get some peace for
myself, and being aware of the kids as they are not how i want them to
be... a very wonderful change and the best time of my life really...
but what changed things very quickly and rather painlessly was to read
the posts and lurk around in this group... there were many arguments
and back/ forth posts which I was really interested in due to the
intensity of spirit and then the gentle release, to each her/ his
own... I never had such articulate arguments or conversations about my
thoughts on unschooling... I was trying to think in a giant mushy
tangle, I could not get a clear thought, but still did not see how I
was having a tough time... listening to all the ideas here has been
pivotal for me, and I thought it was so great to go to the grocery
store and challenge myself to start something and not know how it would
turn out, I found out that my kids can and will shop in a TIGHTLY
CROWDED store on a Saturday, are happy getting in and out FAST, and
surprise, it was not as bad as I thought... really I believe this
experience came from losing the fear of the unknown, that I have too
many expectations to meet, they are wholly unnecessary and even if it's
worse than I thought, we can go in and find a way to deal with it...
this is the problem I had with unschooling, thinking too much for the
kids who are fine and not wanting to be analyzed and today it just
vanished when we changed our minds...

I hope this makes sense, the ideas came on top of each other... thanks
to all who participate and allow me to follow the thought process with
you, it's been such a great tool...

Jules.

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/5/04 1:00:33 AM, edonato953@... writes:

<< I never had such articulate arguments or conversations about my
thoughts on unschooling >>

I'm glad this list helped you.
There are some others you might like too, if you want more and faster. (Some
people want less and slower, and that's okay too.)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingBasics/
(I'm not on that one)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion/
(generally rougher than this one, and I am on that one)

-=-I found out that my kids can and will shop in a TIGHTLY
CROWDED store on a Saturday, are happy getting in and out FAST, and
surprise, it was not as bad as I thought...-=-

I think the mom's attitude makes ALL the difference. We've had fun stopped
in freeway traffic (MUCH rarer here than in California). We've had fun in a
mall in a Christmas rush. I know from the kid-side and from seeing other
families and from my own impatient reactions in time past that I COULD make it all
tense and horrible. I know how to make it all tense and horrible. And that
means I know what NOT to do. I know how to make it pleasant and peaceful.

I have a collection of people's accounts of the moment they changed their
thinking. Not all are on the website yet (and I'd like to have more, if anyone's
inclined to write it down for posterity), and that's. . . I can't find it.
I need a better index. <g> But here are two related things, and if I do
find the page I'm thinking about I'll link it here and if I don't find it I'll
make one.

http://sandradodd.com/unschool/sheran
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/haveto

Sandra

[email protected]

The page I was thinking about is about chores, and I found it because Joyce
Fetteroll wrote something clearly wonderful on UnschoolingDiscussion a minute
ago, and I put it on that page.

Maybe I need a "seeing the change" page for each individual topic. <g>

http://sandradodd.com/chore/shift


Sandra

Barbara Chase

>The page I was thinking about is about chores, and I found it because Joyce
>Fetteroll wrote something clearly wonderful on UnschoolingDiscussion a minute
>ago, and I put it on that page.
>
>Maybe I need a "seeing the change" page for each individual topic. <g>
>
>http://sandradodd.com/chore/shift


Wow, what a great response from Joyce! Not only does it apply to chores,
but it's a great example of looking at power struggles in a new way....
which could be involved with any area of life.

I'd love to see several of these shift stories all on one page, mixing all
of the topics together. There is something about seeing them all together
that I can imagine would be very powerful.


Has anyone else here heard about the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know?"
You can find out more about it at http://www.whatthebleep.com It's a
great movie, and relates to the topic here about shifts, changes in
perspective, choices, etc. Basically, it's a movie that talks about
quantum physics, spirituality, and how they relate to our lives.
Interviews are woven together with a story about several days of a woman's
life, and they serve as a Greek chorus.


--bc--

Gold Standard

>>Has anyone else here heard about the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know?"
>>You can find out more about it at http://www.whatthebleep.com It's a
>>great movie, and relates to the topic here about shifts, changes in
>>perspective, choices, etc. Basically, it's a movie that talks about
>>quantum physics, spirituality, and how they relate to our lives.
>>Interviews are woven together with a story about several days of a woman's
>>life, and they serve as a Greek chorus.

Yes, my husband and I took our four guys (ages 10 to 15) to "What the Bleep
Do We Know?" two weeks ago. It's playing here in Tempe Arizona Art Theatre.
The movie supplied us with lots of topics of conversation. We bought the
book "The Hidden Messages in Water" the same day, and leave it on our coffee
table. Our kids look through it often and talk to each other about new
things they've noticed. We still bring up things from the movie in our every
day lives too. It has certainly provided a great avenue for "huge changes in
perspective" for all of us.

Jacki