mozafamily

My 6 yo has decided that he doesn't want to grow up, he doesn't want
any responsibility for himself, he doesn't want to be strong, smart
or anything likewise "grownuppy". By the way I rarely talk about
anything "grown up" other than you will be able to drive when your
16 if you can pass the tests to get your liscence, etc. I don't ever
tell him to "grow up" and frankly I think he's getting some of this
from the Cartoon Network show "kids next door" where the kids are
against the adults and even the teenagers. So anyhow I promised him
that I made the pancakes we had for supper "especially week" just
for him so I'm sure they won't make him too strong, just enough
energy to get you by until the next meal. Has anyone else been
though this? I'm trying to get him to talk about it but he's not
giving me any clues to this new behavior. Any advice would be
appreciated. Moza

Gold Standard

"So anyhow I promised him
that I made the pancakes we had for supper "especially week" just
for him so I'm sure they won't make him too strong, just enough
energy to get you by until the next meal."

I am still laughing about this line :-0. It was a brilliant way to go!

When my ten year old was eight, he said he didn't ever want to be a grownup.
It seemed too stressful. That made us look at ourselves, and what we
experience and project as his parents. Yes, a reality check and a reminder
about the priorities in life (have fun! enjoy!) (not that that is what's
going on with your guy...it was for us though).

We also asked him questions about what looked hard about being an adult, and
what he liked about being his age. We talked about ways he could keep doing
things he liked (playing chess whenever he wanted, keeping his room messy)
when he got older. We talked about how he gets to choose what he does as an
adult so that it's fun too. And we needed to have more fun as adults around
him!

I haven't heard him say anything for a long time like this, but I am
interested in his perception now so I'm going to ask him again.

Sarah

When Sophia has fears, and I am in my best frame of
mind, I treat her fears very patiently and genuinely.
Not that the goal should be for her to "get over them"
(it should be for me to live in the moment with her),
but that's what happens. She does "get over them" (or
mostly).

That sounds pretty scary, I bet. Growing up. Just
imagine all the pressures. The bills and jobs and
expectations and worries. We don't really have to
imagine. I don't anyway. But a six year old. Well,
I think their imaginations are among the best.

Have you tried taking a few days off and really
watching those Cartoon Network shows together? Talk
about what you think about the shows and growing up ~
the realities...the good and the bad. And your
dreams. And your fears. That's my best advice. Be
real and treat his fears REAL-LY.

Sarah

--- mozafamily <mozafamily@...> wrote:

> My 6 yo has decided that he doesn't want to grow up,
> he doesn't want
> any responsibility for himself,




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heather mclean

Moza,

My son had this too. Well, the growing up part. He
never said he didn't want to be strong or smart. But
he didn't even want a birthday because that would mean
he was getting closer to being a grown-up! He wanted
to stay 6 (or 7, I don't remember). So I just agreed,
"Okay, that's fine with me". I told him he could just
stay 6 even with a birthday party.

When he was willing to talk about it, he was afraid
- he wouldn't be able to PLAY anymore
- he wouldn't have lots of TOYS to play with
- he would have to move out on his own

So I told him he could live with us as long as he
wanted too. I think this helped a lot. I told him he
could still play and have toys. I think he was also
afraid he'd have to leave and go work somewhere. My
dh works at home but ds remembers when dh used to go
work at an office. He has since said he wants to work
on the computer at home like his dad.

He is now 8 - almost 9, and I haven't heard the "I
don't want to grow-up" line in quite awhile.

heather m
...leaving on a road-trip (to Dallas) in the a.m.
Anyone know of a good park with playground in El Paso
or Midland/Odessa near the interstate?


--- mozafamily <mozafamily@...> wrote:

> My 6 yo has decided that he doesn't want to grow up,
> he doesn't want
> any responsibility for himself, he doesn't want to
> be strong, smart
> or anything likewise "grownuppy". By the way I
> rarely talk about
> anything "grown up" other than you will be able to
> drive when your
> 16 if you can pass the tests to get your liscence,
> etc. I don't ever
> tell him to "grow up" and frankly I think he's
> getting some of this
> from the Cartoon Network show "kids next door" where
> the kids are
> against the adults and even the teenagers. So anyhow
> I promised him
> that I made the pancakes we had for supper
> "especially week" just
> for him so I'm sure they won't make him too strong,
> just enough
> energy to get you by until the next meal. Has anyone
> else been
> though this? I'm trying to get him to talk about it
> but he's not
> giving me any clues to this new behavior. Any advice
> would be
> appreciated. Moza
>
>

Kathryn Balley

Around the time my daughter was 4 or five, she would sometimes express that she wished she was still a baby; this would happen generally when more would be expected of her because of her increased maturity and capabilities. I think we all feel that way sometimes. I guess perhaps we just need to be aware of how we express our expectations to our children, either verbally or otherwise, and consider the possible resulting anxiety.

Good luck,

Kathryn


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