people disagreeing (was Unschooling College)
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/12/2004 7:26:51 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
homemama@... writes:
I do know now how much she disagrees with our choice. I didn't really
know until now and it's been 8 yrs. She still doesn't know what she is
talking about.
===========
Holly's godmother is a friend who hung out with me nearly every day in the
years when Kirby and Marty were born. And when Holly was a baby, Kirby didn't
go to kindergarten, but that wasn't a big deal. She knew that if Kirby wanted
to, or if things didn't go well, he could go to kindergarten the next year, or
to 1st grade. So the first year "didn't count."
My friend was a pre-school teacher for the deaf. Her whole identity was
being a teacher.
When she found out we really LIKED unschooling and when she found out Kirby
was staying home for a second year, she said Something strangely hateful. She
said "You're homeschooling for YOUR benefit, not for Kirby's. You're being
selfish." (might not be exact words, but 95% right, if I've forgotten a little;
"selfish" and the idea that it was for me and not Kirby were in there).
I had an infant and a three year old that season. It's not like staying with
Kirby was keeping me from being in medical school, y'know, or climbing Mt.
Everest. I was going to be home anyway. So I honestly had no idea what she was
talking about. It seemed she was grasping for mean-straws.
We only very occasionally have hung out since then. She couldn't support
what we were doing. And I didn't really need the judgmental snarkiness of
someone who honestly had NO reason to look at what we were doing without
teacher-glasses on. So I was occasionally a little bit sad, and usually not at all.
She retired from teaching this year. Maybe when her investment fades she'll
be back around. That might be nice for Holly, but no notable thing for me.
If our children are our priotiries, its easier for us to let others fall
away. Anyone who tried to get me to do so much as nod and agree with her/him at
the expense of my beliefs or of my children was just outathere. I stood my
ground.
But there are ways to soften the situation. I never set an absolute on it.
I would say "If it turns out it's not working, he can go to school," or "We'll
just do it as long as it seems to be the best thing."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
homemama@... writes:
I do know now how much she disagrees with our choice. I didn't really
know until now and it's been 8 yrs. She still doesn't know what she is
talking about.
===========
Holly's godmother is a friend who hung out with me nearly every day in the
years when Kirby and Marty were born. And when Holly was a baby, Kirby didn't
go to kindergarten, but that wasn't a big deal. She knew that if Kirby wanted
to, or if things didn't go well, he could go to kindergarten the next year, or
to 1st grade. So the first year "didn't count."
My friend was a pre-school teacher for the deaf. Her whole identity was
being a teacher.
When she found out we really LIKED unschooling and when she found out Kirby
was staying home for a second year, she said Something strangely hateful. She
said "You're homeschooling for YOUR benefit, not for Kirby's. You're being
selfish." (might not be exact words, but 95% right, if I've forgotten a little;
"selfish" and the idea that it was for me and not Kirby were in there).
I had an infant and a three year old that season. It's not like staying with
Kirby was keeping me from being in medical school, y'know, or climbing Mt.
Everest. I was going to be home anyway. So I honestly had no idea what she was
talking about. It seemed she was grasping for mean-straws.
We only very occasionally have hung out since then. She couldn't support
what we were doing. And I didn't really need the judgmental snarkiness of
someone who honestly had NO reason to look at what we were doing without
teacher-glasses on. So I was occasionally a little bit sad, and usually not at all.
She retired from teaching this year. Maybe when her investment fades she'll
be back around. That might be nice for Holly, but no notable thing for me.
If our children are our priotiries, its easier for us to let others fall
away. Anyone who tried to get me to do so much as nod and agree with her/him at
the expense of my beliefs or of my children was just outathere. I stood my
ground.
But there are ways to soften the situation. I never set an absolute on it.
I would say "If it turns out it's not working, he can go to school," or "We'll
just do it as long as it seems to be the best thing."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>I've heard that one a few times, though not directed at me. (They wouldn't
>When she found out we really LIKED unschooling and when she found out Kirby
>was staying home for a second year, she said Something strangely
>hateful. She
>said "You're homeschooling for YOUR benefit, not for Kirby's. You're being
>selfish." (might not be exact words, but 95% right, if I've forgotten a
>little;
>"selfish" and the idea that it was for me and not Kirby were in there).
dare - grin)
My daughter was recently told that she was still nursing her almost 2 year
old and her 3 1/2 year old in order to feel needed. Yeah right . . . sigh.
My son's girlfriend's mother was just fired from her barbering job because
she "puts her kids first". Her boss has a 2 and a 4 and spends almost no
time with them. If her daycare person calls her at work about something,
she says that they're being paid to take care of that stuff. She doesn't
want to hear if her kids are having problems. This in a small town that
just lost 4 young people to alcohol/drugs in the last week.
Tia
Jon and Rue Kream
>>If her daycare person calls her at work about something,she says that they're being paid to take care of that stuff.
**My bil's a teacher (and also an unschooling dad),and he hears comments
like,"From 8 to 3 he's your problem. Don't call me, just deal with him."
all the time :0(. ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Diana Tashjian
When Nick was born, I was going to stay home just for 6 months or so
and then go back to my career. Then it stretched into a year. And then
it was until he went to preschool. Well, because of this and that
(late potty training and, in retrospect, the fact that neither he nor
I were really into preschool/schooling - although we didn't exactly
know it at the time), he never went to preschool. Then I heard about
homeschooling and immediately knew this was what we wanted to try. But
even to this day (he's now 11), we still say that we're going to
homeschool "as long as it seems to be working out." The question now
seems to be whether or not he's going to high school. And I say, "I
don't know. It'll be up to him." Who knows? We take it as it comes...
Diana Tashjian
and then go back to my career. Then it stretched into a year. And then
it was until he went to preschool. Well, because of this and that
(late potty training and, in retrospect, the fact that neither he nor
I were really into preschool/schooling - although we didn't exactly
know it at the time), he never went to preschool. Then I heard about
homeschooling and immediately knew this was what we wanted to try. But
even to this day (he's now 11), we still say that we're going to
homeschool "as long as it seems to be working out." The question now
seems to be whether or not he's going to high school. And I say, "I
don't know. It'll be up to him." Who knows? We take it as it comes...
Diana Tashjian
----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
<snip>
> But there are ways to soften the situation. I never set an absolute
on it.
> I would say "If it turns out it's not working, he can go to school,"
or "We'll
> just do it as long as it seems to be the best thing."