Ren

"Would you continue to provide opportunities for your child to develop
this relationship?"

Absolutely not.
Not until YOU are comfortable with establishing boundaries with this abusive man, and it doesn't sound like you have if you're saying things like "I feel obligated". OBLIGATED? To give a child molester a chance at your child?
NO.
If, and only if, you were very comfortable with setting boundaries with this man and NOT feeling obligated in any way, would I say "sure, only with you present."
At this point, I think you need to feel stronger in yourself, and with your choices and in recognizing that BOTH of your parents were indeed responsible for this abuse. Once you feel strong enough with your own boundaries, I think it would be safe to have your child spend time with your Dad, WITH you present.
He's admitted he thinks spanking and punishment are fine, he hasn't agreed to not touch your child, he is NOT safe. You couldn't protect yourself, it wasn't possible, but you can protect your child from a KNOWN molester.

Ren

"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying

foxymophandlemama32

> "Would you continue to provide opportunities for your child to
develop
> this relationship?"

>> Absolutely not.
Not until YOU are comfortable with establishing boundaries with this
abusive man, and it doesn't sound like you have if you're saying
things like "I feel obligated". OBLIGATED? To give a child molester a
chance at your child?>>


I think this is really important. If the parent is unable to set
clear boundaries then the child surely can't which leaves him
extremely vulnerable.

Mark and I have left our kids with his parents less than five times
in ten years and only since our eldest was five.
They know that if they cross lines we walk and they don't see us or
their grandkids. Which might seem harsh but some people don't seem to
respond to anything less. And it makes them very careful with our
kids so our kids have only good thoughts about them.

Julie

Dana Matt

> Mark and I have left our kids with his parents less
> than five times
> in ten years and only since our eldest was five.
> They know that if they cross lines we walk and they
> don't see us or
> their grandkids. Which might seem harsh but some
> people don't seem to
> respond to anything less. And it makes them very
> careful with our
> kids so our kids have only good thoughts about them.
>
> Julie

I also agree strongly with this. I would never dream
of letting my kids be alone with my in-laws. I have
seen my MIL lock a screaming baby in a room alone, let
him scream so hard he vomitted, and then let him sleep
in his vomit. These were my SIL's kids. They (my dh
and his sibs) were treated like that, and SIL lets her
parents treat her kids like that as well. I have
called them to the carpet many times, and they treat
my kids with respect (although at arms length, but I
think that's a good thing) while they treat her kids
totally different. I sure wish she could stand up for
her kids as well....
Dana
in Montana




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