Joanna Wilkinson

Well, Carly has been on and off about maybe going to high school.
She would be a ninth grader next year, and she's thinking she wants
to try it, just to see. She doesn't want to never go and not know
what it's really like. She went to k and 1st, but high school is a
different thing and she has many people in her life telling her she
would get so much out of it.
The scool has a great drama dept. (we've seen some of the shows and
they are good) and that is something she would like to get involved
in.
This winter was particularly long and boring for her. The large
hsing community here is fundi xtians. She has a few friends who are
relaxed, but no real unschoolers to hang with. She's feeling a need
for more of a social life. With Sam gone (who is her younger
brother who died last year), she is here with 2 littler ones and
it's just not as interesting and stimulating around here for her.
She is great with them, but she was use to having Sam here to bounce
ideas off of, to argue with, to make life a LOT more fun and
interesting. She seems bored and lonely at times.
I wish I had done better for her, but here we are, and she wants to
go to school. I want to support her. I want her to go and decide
for herself. I hope she comes home after experiencing it and finds
other ways to meet her needs (we've discussed many, but she really
wants to check out school).

So, I'm looking at what she will need to not feel like she is
totally lacking in knowledge of the schooling kind. I tried to
google for info on the high school she is going too, but didn't find
specifics. I'm thinking of an assessment type test for 9th graders
that will show what she might need to work on. She hasn't done much
school type math (though I think she will pick it up easier than she
thinks she will). Does anyone know of a good route to take for this?
I want her to feel confident, even when we both know the information
needed, is information ONLY needed for high school, not life.

I'm feeling sad. I feel like I'm going to lose a part of who we
are. I feel so lucky to have had all this time with her, and feel
like maybe I have been selfish in some way. I feel like, even
though she is only 13, the process of letting go has started. She
is becoming more independant, she is wanting to spread her wings and
I can only trust her and love her and always be there for her to be
her "home".

I've always thought unschooling was easy. My work in coming to
unschooling was a long, difficult process, but the actual
unschooling, the hanging out with my kids, the trusting them and
seeing how really amazing they are and letting them BE who they are
was easy to do. But now I'm feeling like this was definitely the
harder path. How easy it would be to say "No. I am the mother, and
you will not go to school." or to just send them to school and deal
with it like everyone else does. Not too much thinking involved
there. I don't want Carly to resent MY choices, so I have to let
her make, and help her with, her choices.

Maybe this will be a good thing. I can see the first time an adult
treats her with disrespect (or someone near her), and her not taking
it, or feeling so angry she never wants to return. She has always
thought of people, who treat kids as "less than", as idiots, so it
will be interesting to see how she reacts to high school dynamics.
It will be a learning process for us.

But, I do want her going with some confidence. Any suggestions or
insight?
Thanks,
Joanna

Elizabeth Hill

**

Maybe this will be a good thing. I can see the first time an adult
treats her with disrespect (or someone near her), and her not taking
it, or feeling so angry she never wants to return. She has always
thought of people, who treat kids as "less than", as idiots, so it
will be interesting to see how she reacts to high school dynamics.
It will be a learning process for us.**

Hi, Joanna --

I have a homeschooling friend whose 13 year old never-been-to-school daughter is going to try out 9th grade this fall. Because they've done eclectic "lessons" at home I don't think the issue of preparedness is as big in their minds, but I'm hearing them go through most of the same other issues you are. If you don't find the answers you are looking for here, I can e-introduce you to my friend for mutual comiseration.

My wild guess is that my friend's daughter will find high school to be a tiresome grind. (But that was my guess when I thought she would be going to the big neighborhood school. Now it looks like she will go to a charter school with only 100 kids, so maybe she will have a more personal and worthwhile experience. I don't know.)

I guess the best person for you to talk to is someone whose kid followed this path last year.


Best wishes,
Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/9/04 5:12:02 PM, Wilkinson6@... writes:

<< I've always thought unschooling was easy. My work in coming to

unschooling was a long, difficult process, but the actual

unschooling, the hanging out with my kids, the trusting them and

seeing how really amazing they are and letting them BE who they are

was easy to do. >>

It's easier to do something you WANT to do than something you're dragged
toward against your will.

So you like unschooling and that makes it seem easy.


School won't be for Carly the way it is for kids who were dragged there
against their will.

Being the mother of "a school kid" will be harder for you than unschooling is.

Holly periodically discusses school. If she never goes, she will suffer
pangs of regret, I think. I stall.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/9/04 5:12:02 PM, Wilkinson6@... writes:

<< She has always

thought of people, who treat kids as "less than", as idiots, so it

will be interesting to see how she reacts to high school dynamics.

It will be a learning process for us.


<<But, I do want her going with some confidence. Any suggestions or

insight? >>

Take her to see "Mean Girls," and really discuss it.

This weekend Holly, Marty and Keith went to the Almogordo, New Mexico public
pool on Saturday afternoon. There were a dozen to twenty other kids. At
some point the lifeguards cleared the pool for "adult swim," fifteen minutes,
the kids had to stay outside the pool. Keith was the only adult there. They
let Marty and Holly stay in because they were with their dad.

When they all got back to the grandparents' house Holly said "What was THAT
about?!"

I said lots of adults don't treat kids like they have the same rights as
adults, and Keith explained that some people don't like kids, and they want to
swim laps the same time every day without kids playing in the lanes.

Our explanations were true, but Holly was unimpressed that people would feel
that way.

I don't think she would last a whole schoolyear, but I could be wrong.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/9/2004 10:37:38 PM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
This weekend Holly, Marty and Keith went to the Almogordo, New Mexico public
pool on Saturday afternoon. There were a dozen to twenty other kids. At
some point the lifeguards cleared the pool for "adult swim," fifteen minutes,
the kids had to stay outside the pool. Keith was the only adult there.
They
let Marty and Holly stay in because they were with their dad.

When they all got back to the grandparents' house Holly said "What was THAT
about?!"
~~~

I don't really think it's about "adult swim". I think it's a way for the
lifeguards to see that no one has drowned unnoticed, and it gives the kids a
chance to change their state and maybe see that they're were tired and needed a
break. I get the sense, from the pools I've been to, that this is a safety
issue, brought about by insurance companies or safety studies, etc., and that
there is a recommended or maybe even required amount of time per hour/session that
the pool should be cleared.

I'd google it to find out for sure, but it makes more sense to me that they
disguise the break as "adult swim" because then they don't have to explain a
"safety break" to kids ad nauseum. It sounds distasteful to us, but it
definitely works with the general public.

Tuck


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kerrilynn62000

My oldest DD will be 14 at the end of this month & plans on going to
high-school in the fall. She wanted to go to grade 8 last year but
when she found out she would probably miss the home-birth of her
littlest brother (all 9lbs, 2oz of him!)& due the beginning of Sept.
she decided she didn't want to go. She has never been to school.

She has outside activities with other kids her age & does volunteer
work as well. She babysits for other families and goes to work with
her dad & helps out filing & putting the paper copies of proposals
together. There are other home-schooled kids near enough to us so she
can spend time with them too. There are other kids in our family to
hang out with too.

Even though she is around other hsed kids she says she feels "weird"
because of some of our choices. Having a bigger family, fostering,
bfing, bfing extended, home-birth, APing, etc. Even though they don't
watch much t.v. it as well as other friends they have through other
activities they are involved in are "mainstream".

We looked into a couple of schools & she has chosen one. She is
friends with other kids who will be starting grade 9 there too. I
know the kids & they are pretty good kids from families that care
about their kids. Also since it is a small town school there will be
kids coming from other small schools as well as a few rural schools.
So all the grade nines will be new & be meeting kids they've never
met before. We are very rural!

I have encouraged her to prepare herself so she is doing more reading
& writing. But is really concentrating on her Math as well. She knows
she can come home if school doesn't turn out to be what she expects
or wants.

There are a few other home-schooled kids near us who also chose
to "try" high-school. Most of them jumped right into it & after a
short adjustment period they really enjoyed school and are still in
or graduated. One is into college now!! Another couple of kids that
tried decided they didn't like all of it so they spoke with the
school & chose to only take the courses they wanted & also told the
school they were going to choose themselves whether or not to write
the tests or do the assignments as they were looking to learn, not to
get grades or credits. The school was fine with this too. Luckily
these kids were going to the same school my DD has chosen!! So no
matter her choice, the school has already had a variety of
experiences with home-schooled families.

I needed to let my daughter make her choices, with my guidance, but
they are her own choices now. I have to trust in myself that through
loving her & supporting her & sharing my values over the past 13+
years that I have given her the strong roots she needs. As I have
seen how wonderfully she has already sprouted I see that she now
feels she is ready to spread her wings. I think she is too, though it
is bitter-sweet. I too will grow with her. Even though there are
other kids at home, I will still miss her. Raising children also
involves our lives changing as our own children's needs change too.
I have realized that I need to start letting go of her even more so
that others can enjoy this wonderful person too. SIGH!! I am going to
go give her a hug right now!!

Kerri, mom to Amanda(13),Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10), J
(9,foster dd), Jonah(7), Saige & Claire( 3, ID Twins) & Teagan(Sept
2003)




--- In [email protected], "Joanna Wilkinson"
<Wilkinson6@m...> wrote:
> Well, Carly has been on and off about maybe going to high school.
> She would be a ninth grader next year, and she's thinking she wants
> to try it, just to see. She doesn't want to never go and not know
> what it's really like. She went to k and 1st, but high school is a
> different thing and she has many people in her life telling her she
> would get so much out of it.
> The scool has a great drama dept. (we've seen some of the shows and
> they are good) and that is something she would like to get involved
> in.
> This winter was particularly long and boring for her. The large
> hsing community here is fundi xtians. She has a few friends who
are
> relaxed, but no real unschoolers to hang with. She's feeling a
need
> for more of a social life. With Sam gone (who is her younger
> brother who died last year), she is here with 2 littler ones and
> it's just not as interesting and stimulating around here for her.
> She is great with them, but she was use to having Sam here to
bounce
> ideas off of, to argue with, to make life a LOT more fun and
> interesting. She seems bored and lonely at times.
> I wish I had done better for her, but here we are, and she wants to
> go to school. I want to support her. I want her to go and decide
> for herself. I hope she comes home after experiencing it and finds
> other ways to meet her needs (we've discussed many, but she really
> wants to check out school).
>
> So, I'm looking at what she will need to not feel like she is
> totally lacking in knowledge of the schooling kind. I tried to
> google for info on the high school she is going too, but didn't
find
> specifics. I'm thinking of an assessment type test for 9th graders
> that will show what she might need to work on. She hasn't done
much
> school type math (though I think she will pick it up easier than
she
> thinks she will). Does anyone know of a good route to take for
this?
> I want her to feel confident, even when we both know the
information
> needed, is information ONLY needed for high school, not life.
>
> I'm feeling sad. I feel like I'm going to lose a part of who we
> are. I feel so lucky to have had all this time with her, and feel
> like maybe I have been selfish in some way. I feel like, even
> though she is only 13, the process of letting go has started. She
> is becoming more independant, she is wanting to spread her wings
and
> I can only trust her and love her and always be there for her to be
> her "home".
>
> I've always thought unschooling was easy. My work in coming to
> unschooling was a long, difficult process, but the actual
> unschooling, the hanging out with my kids, the trusting them and
> seeing how really amazing they are and letting them BE who they are
> was easy to do. But now I'm feeling like this was definitely the
> harder path. How easy it would be to say "No. I am the mother, and
> you will not go to school." or to just send them to school and
deal
> with it like everyone else does. Not too much thinking involved
> there. I don't want Carly to resent MY choices, so I have to let
> her make, and help her with, her choices.
>
> Maybe this will be a good thing. I can see the first time an adult
> treats her with disrespect (or someone near her), and her not
taking
> it, or feeling so angry she never wants to return. She has always
> thought of people, who treat kids as "less than", as idiots, so it
> will be interesting to see how she reacts to high school dynamics.
> It will be a learning process for us.
>
> But, I do want her going with some confidence. Any suggestions or
> insight?
> Thanks,
> Joanna

Debra Kattler

Joanna,

In my opinion, the worst aspect of school is the compulsary nature of
it. So if that part is removed, then what are the other problems? One
of the challenges I think would be to help a kid navigate the waters of
school without buying into all of the BS of it. That is to help her get
what she wants and to leave the rest, so to speak. I think the trap
that we (the parents) can fall into is to say that if one chooses to do
something, one has to "suck up" the bad stuff along with the good. And
this may be true to some extent but if the parent can be an advocate for
the child, then maybe some of that bad stuff (whatever it may be) can be
alleviated.

It sounds simple but I think in the day to day it would be more
difficult to do. I'm having trouble thinking of examples... And I'm
also aware that I'm not so good at doing what I'm suggesting :-) But
I'm hoping that by sharing the theory, I can be more aware of it myself.

Debra

Joanna Wilkinson wrote:

> Well, Carly has been on and off about maybe going to high school.
> She would be a ninth grader next year, and she's thinking she wants
> to try it, just to see. She doesn't want to never go and not know
> what it's really like.





________________________________________________________________
$0 Bannerless Web Hosting, 10 POP and Web Email Accounts, & more
Get It Now At www.doteasy.com

joylyn

kerrilynn62000 wrote:

>
>
> Kerri, mom to Amanda(13),Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10), J
> (9,foster dd), Jonah(7), Saige & Claire( 3, ID Twins) & Teagan(Sept
> 2003)
>
Hi

What are ID twins? And do you homeschool your foster children?

Joylyn

Barbara Chase

Hi Joanna,

You mentioned that the hs has a good drama dept. One idea that came to my
mind is to find out if the school supports having you homeschool through
them. This way if your daughter tries it out full-time and doesn't like
most of it but does like the drama, for example - she could still
participate in the things that she does want to do. Not all schools are as
supportive of this as our local school is, but it's worth looking into as
an option.


ciao
--bc--

kerrilynn62000

ID=IDentical Twins!!

We are not "allowed" to home-school foster children. However with the
amount of time I spend over-seeing their home-work I think they'd be
much better off NOT in school.

Kerri

--- In [email protected], joylyn <joylyn@e...> wrote:
>
>
> kerrilynn62000 wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > Kerri, mom to Amanda(13),Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10),
J
> > (9,foster dd), Jonah(7), Saige & Claire( 3, ID Twins) & Teagan
(Sept
> > 2003)
> >
> Hi
>
> What are ID twins? And do you homeschool your foster children?
>
> Joylyn

Joanna Wilkinson

--- In [email protected], Barbara Chase <barb@n...>
wrote:
> Hi Joanna,
>
> You mentioned that the hs has a good drama dept. One idea that
came to my
> mind is to find out if the school supports having you homeschool
through
> them. This way if your daughter tries it out full-time and
doesn't like
> most of it but does like the drama, for example - she could still
> participate in the things that she does want to do. Not all
schools are as
> supportive of this as our local school is, but it's worth looking
into as
> an option.
>
>
> ciao
> --bc--

The schools here are very clear that homeschoolers are not welcome
to participate with their system. It's all or nothing.
Thanks for the suggestion though.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and ideas.
We've been trying to really play with numbers a lot. I'll ask her
questions like what's 6x5x9?, and she tries to figure it out. ( I
help her by showing her all the little tricks and short cuts) We've
talked about fractions, and she has a pretty good grasp on that
concept. I had to remember how to add and multiply them and was
having lots of "OH! I get it now! moments" We have some workbooks
she's been working in. She really isn't enjoying it, but is wanting
to do it anyway. She gets frustrated, but I remind her that the
more she plays with numbers, the easier it gets. I've been working
once a week at a golf course and I don't have a register. It's a
grill/snack shop. No tax, but there are some things that are $1.25
instead of an even $1.00. So I have to do a lot of figuring in my
head. Not difficult stuff, but I have to think fast. I gave her
orders to figure out yesterday. 4 golfer come up and want 2
hamburgers $5 each, 2 hotdogs $4.25 each, 2 Cokes $2 each and 2
beers $3 each, How much do I charge? They give me $30, what's
their change? She actually seemed to enjoy that. Probably because
she saw a real purpose for it. I think it's good for both of us to
be stretching our brains. She has always resisted playing with
numbers with me. It's not something that comes easy for her.
1st grade drill sheets did her in.
Anyway, that's how we are progressing. I figure I will
initiate "math play" on a daily basis and get her workbooks to go
through, and we have some software she can use too. I suggested to
her, she should work daily on it, if she wanted to feel good about
her skills by the end of summer.
My SIL told me that all 9th graders have to take a course called
Freshman Seminar, that basically teaches them skills they will need
for high school. How to write a term paper, study skills, and other
vital stuff. I guess 9 years of schooling isn't enough to prepare
them for high school! It will probably be a benefit for Carly, so
I'm glad to here of it's existence.
I'll let you know how we are progressing. She has been telling
everyone she is going to high school, but then last night when we
were talking about how today would be her last day of "All Sports"
our homeschool gym class which she has done for 6 years, she was
saying, "Well I probably wouldn't do it next year anyway. I'm
getting too old for it. But, if I don't go to school, maybe I'll be
his assistant." That "if" gave me a little hope.
Joanna

SHYRLEY WILLIAMS

Posted pics of the new baby on the yahoogroups thingy.

Under Celyn



Shyrley



---------------------------------
Yahoo! Messenger - Communicate instantly..."Ping" your friends today! Download Messenger Now

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kerrilynn62000

My DD is using these two books. I like them because they give great
examples &...I must admit I am learning some stuff I WISH someone
taught me in high-school & college (statistics...) Even DH who uses
nubmers everyday said that too.

"More Rapid Math Tricks & Tips..30 Days to Number Mastery" by Edward
H. Julius

"ALL The Math You'll Ever Need: A Self-Teaching Guide" by Steve Slavin

Then I picked up a lamonized sheet from out local "Busines Depot-
Staples" called: Power Math Tips & Tricks. It has muliplication &
division "tricks" or short-cuts.

Kerri, mom to Amanda(13), Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10),
J(9,foster dd), Jonah (7), Saige & Claire(ID Twins)& Teagan(Sept 2003)



> The schools here are very clear that homeschoolers are not welcome
> to participate with their system. It's all or nothing.
> Thanks for the suggestion though.
> Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and ideas.
> We've been trying to really play with numbers a lot. I'll ask her
> questions like what's 6x5x9?, and she tries to figure it out. ( I
> help her by showing her all the little tricks and short cuts) We've
> talked about fractions, and she has a pretty good grasp on that
> concept. I had to remember how to add and multiply them and was
> having lots of "OH! I get it now! moments" We have some workbooks
> she's been working in. She really isn't enjoying it, but is
wanting
> to do it anyway. She gets frustrated, but I remind her that the
> more she plays with numbers, the easier it gets. I've been
working
> once a week at a golf course and I don't have a register. It's a
> grill/snack shop. No tax, but there are some things that are $1.25
> instead of an even $1.00. So I have to do a lot of figuring in my
> head. Not difficult stuff, but I have to think fast. I gave her
> orders to figure out yesterday. 4 golfer come up and want 2
> hamburgers $5 each, 2 hotdogs $4.25 each, 2 Cokes $2 each and 2
> beers $3 each, How much do I charge? They give me $30, what's
> their change? She actually seemed to enjoy that. Probably because
> she saw a real purpose for it. I think it's good for both of us to
> be stretching our brains. She has always resisted playing with
> numbers with me. It's not something that comes easy for her.
> 1st grade drill sheets did her in.
> Anyway, that's how we are progressing. I figure I will
> initiate "math play" on a daily basis and get her workbooks to go
> through, and we have some software she can use too. I suggested to
> her, she should work daily on it, if she wanted to feel good about
> her skills by the end of summer.
> My SIL told me that all 9th graders have to take a course called
> Freshman Seminar, that basically teaches them skills they will need
> for high school. How to write a term paper, study skills, and
other
> vital stuff. I guess 9 years of schooling isn't enough to prepare
> them for high school! It will probably be a benefit for Carly, so
> I'm glad to here of it's existence.
> I'll let you know how we are progressing. She has been telling
> everyone she is going to high school, but then last night when we
> were talking about how today would be her last day of "All Sports"
> our homeschool gym class which she has done for 6 years, she was
> saying, "Well I probably wouldn't do it next year anyway. I'm
> getting too old for it. But, if I don't go to school, maybe I'll
be
> his assistant." That "if" gave me a little hope.
> Joanna

joylyn

kerrilynn62000 wrote:

> ID=IDentical Twins!!

\I kinda figured that out later....

>
>
> We are not "allowed" to home-school foster children. However with the
> amount of time I spend over-seeing their home-work I think they'd be
> much better off NOT in school.

Yeah, really.

Joylyn

>
> Kerri
>
> --- In [email protected], joylyn <joylyn@e...> wrote:
> >
> >
> > kerrilynn62000 wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > Kerri, mom to Amanda(13),Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10),
> J
> > > (9,foster dd), Jonah(7), Saige & Claire( 3, ID Twins) & Teagan
> (Sept
> > > 2003)
> > >
> > Hi
> >
> > What are ID twins? And do you homeschool your foster children?
> >
> > Joylyn
>
>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

moonwindstarsky

Good luck to your family with whatever choice she chooses. I would
let her try for a bit to see if she enjoys it. Then if she doesn't
like it, she can stop the trial period.

--- In [email protected], "Joanna Wilkinson"
<Wilkinson6@m...> wrote:
>> But, I do want her going with some confidence. Any suggestions
or
> insight?
> Thanks,
> Joanna

Joanna Wilkinson

--- In [email protected], "kerrilynn62000"
<sixpaq@1...> wrote:
> My DD is using these two books. I like them because they give
great
> examples &...I must admit I am learning some stuff I WISH someone
> taught me in high-school & college (statistics...) Even DH who
uses
> nubmers everyday said that too.
>
> "More Rapid Math Tricks & Tips..30 Days to Number Mastery" by
Edward
> H. Julius
>
> "ALL The Math You'll Ever Need: A Self-Teaching Guide" by Steve
Slavin
>
> Then I picked up a lamonized sheet from out local "Busines Depot-
> Staples" called: Power Math Tips & Tricks. It has muliplication &
> division "tricks" or short-cuts.
>
> Kerri, mom to Amanda(13), Emma(12), B(11,foster dd), Maddison(10),
> J(9,foster dd), Jonah (7), Saige & Claire(ID Twins)& Teagan(Sept
2003)
>

Thanks!
I'll check them out.
Joanna