Re: [AlwaysLearning] a wish for my grandchildren
J. Stauffer
Wow. Remind me never to piss you off.
Julie S.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 4:16 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] a wish for my grandchildren
> I got this in the mail from my father-in-law. My responses follow. He sure
> knows hoe to piss off a daughter-in-law!
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Paul Harvey Writes:
>
> We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them
worse.
> For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
>
> It doesn't sound like it. It sounds as if you are 100% sadist.
> I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade
ice
> cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
>
> With two "only children", eight years apart, there just aren't any
> "hand-me-downs."
> I don't cook meatloaf, so there is never left-over meatloaf for
sandwiches.
>
> I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty
by
> being cheated.
>
> Sad. And mean.
> I hope my children learn humility by witnessing humility. And honesty by
> being treated honestly.
> I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
>
> I'm guessing they'll learn all three of these things when they are ready
to.
> But none of them is a requirement for a happy life.
> A down comforters is a great alternative for "American" bed-making.
> The less lawn, the better.
> Bikes are practical and require no petrol.
> And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
>
> One child already has one----but at FIFteen. He's grateful for and
generous
> with it. The second one will probably also get one.
> It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old
> dog put to sleep.
>
> Both have happened already. But having a bitch deliver puppies just for
the
> experience is NOT a good idea----for the bitch, the puppies, or the child.
>
> I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
>
> What a horrible thought. You can fight for many things without punching
> someone in the eye for it.
> I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And
it's
> all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when
he
> wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you
let
> him.
> Sharing shouldn't be about "drawing lines"-----it should be about sharing.
> Compassion comes from witnessing compassion. I doubt YOUR children are
> compassionate!
>
> I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you
live
> in a town where you can do it safely.
>
> Mine will never go to school. Even if a child were to make it safely to
> school---up hill---he is still not safe IN school.
> On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your
driver
> to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as
> uncool as your Mom.
>
> Odd. I'm considered pretty cool by both children----as well as by their
> friends. And I get hugs in public all the time.
> And why would rain keep someone from walking?
> If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one
instead
> of buying one.
>
> Both are acceptable sling-shots. How many have you made?
> I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
>
> Is there a method for digging in the dirt we all must learn? Surrounded by
> dirt and books, digging and reading happen naturally.
> When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract
in
> your head.
>
> Surrounded by numbers.....adding and subtracting happens naturally.
Computers
> don't even enter in to it.
> I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a
> boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory
soap
> tastes like.
>
> Friends who will tease you for loving someone aren't friends. And a mother
> who will impose such a punishment is only worthy of being talked back to!
> Both of these wishes are down-right despicable! What horrible things to
wish
> on a child! Maybe you should have YOUR mouth washed out with soap!
> May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and
> stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
>
> Again! Despicable! Purposefully wishing pain upon a child? What kind of
> man/father are you?
> I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if
a
> friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your
friend.
>
> What makes beer so offensive? "Try it, but I hope you don't like it?" What
> kind of wish is that? I guess you don't drink? Both my boys drink wine and
beer.
> Neither care for hard liquor. Personal tastes.
>
> And I had many friends who offered me joints. I've never smoked. But they
are
> still my friends. Who are YOU to judge my friends?
> I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and
go
> fishing with your Uncle.
>
> Not if these are his wishes for his grandchildren! I'd rather my children
> stay far, far away from you!
>
> May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
>
> Funerals are barbaric. And holidays filled with people who believe this
crap
> cannot possibly be filled with joy.
> I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your
> neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at
Hanukah/Christmas time
> when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
>
> I would hope that I would understand that it was an ACCIDENT and help my
> child find a way to make restitution----just as I would if it happened to
my
> husband or to a friend. And I will give hugs and kisses for no reason
what-so-ever
> other than that he is my son.
>
> These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work
and
> happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
>
> The only way to appreciate life is to have one. A good one. Being dealt
> punishments and unkindness because you are a child is humiliating and
shameful and
> should not be tolerated in decent society. A child who is routinely----and
> purposefully---maltreated as you suggest above will NOT appreciate his
life, Mr.
> Harvey.
>
> I'm glad you aren't my sons' grandfather.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
I got this in the mail from my father-in-law. My responses follow. He sure
knows hoe to piss off a daughter-in-law!
~Kelly
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
It doesn't sound like it. It sounds as if you are 100% sadist.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice
cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
With two "only children", eight years apart, there just aren't any
"hand-me-downs."
I don't cook meatloaf, so there is never left-over meatloaf for sandwiches.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by
being cheated.
Sad. And mean.
I hope my children learn humility by witnessing humility. And honesty by
being treated honestly.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
I'm guessing they'll learn all three of these things when they are ready to.
But none of them is a requirement for a happy life.
A down comforters is a great alternative for "American" bed-making.
The less lawn, the better.
Bikes are practical and require no petrol.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
One child already has one----but at FIFteen. He's grateful for and generous
with it. The second one will probably also get one.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old
dog put to sleep.
Both have happened already. But having a bitch deliver puppies just for the
experience is NOT a good idea----for the bitch, the puppies, or the child.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
What a horrible thought. You can fight for many things without punching
someone in the eye for it.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's
all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he
wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let
him.
Sharing shouldn't be about "drawing lines"-----it should be about sharing.
Compassion comes from witnessing compassion. I doubt YOUR children are
compassionate!
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live
in a town where you can do it safely.
Mine will never go to school. Even if a child were to make it safely to
school---up hill---he is still not safe IN school.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver
to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as
uncool as your Mom.
Odd. I'm considered pretty cool by both children----as well as by their
friends. And I get hugs in public all the time.
And why would rain keep someone from walking?
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead
of buying one.
Both are acceptable sling-shots. How many have you made?
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
Is there a method for digging in the dirt we all must learn? Surrounded by
dirt and books, digging and reading happen naturally.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in
your head.
Surrounded by numbers.....adding and subtracting happens naturally. Computers
don't even enter in to it.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a
boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap
tastes like.
Friends who will tease you for loving someone aren't friends. And a mother
who will impose such a punishment is only worthy of being talked back to!
Both of these wishes are down-right despicable! What horrible things to wish
on a child! Maybe you should have YOUR mouth washed out with soap!
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and
stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
Again! Despicable! Purposefully wishing pain upon a child? What kind of
man/father are you?
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a
friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
What makes beer so offensive? "Try it, but I hope you don't like it?" What
kind of wish is that? I guess you don't drink? Both my boys drink wine and beer.
Neither care for hard liquor. Personal tastes.
And I had many friends who offered me joints. I've never smoked. But they are
still my friends. Who are YOU to judge my friends?
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go
fishing with your Uncle.
Not if these are his wishes for his grandchildren! I'd rather my children
stay far, far away from you!
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
Funerals are barbaric. And holidays filled with people who believe this crap
cannot possibly be filled with joy.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your
neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hanukah/Christmas time
when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
I would hope that I would understand that it was an ACCIDENT and help my
child find a way to make restitution----just as I would if it happened to my
husband or to a friend. And I will give hugs and kisses for no reason what-so-ever
other than that he is my son.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and
happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
The only way to appreciate life is to have one. A good one. Being dealt
punishments and unkindness because you are a child is humiliating and shameful and
should not be tolerated in decent society. A child who is routinely----and
purposefully---maltreated as you suggest above will NOT appreciate his life, Mr.
Harvey.
I'm glad you aren't my sons' grandfather.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
knows hoe to piss off a daughter-in-law!
~Kelly
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
It doesn't sound like it. It sounds as if you are 100% sadist.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice
cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
With two "only children", eight years apart, there just aren't any
"hand-me-downs."
I don't cook meatloaf, so there is never left-over meatloaf for sandwiches.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by
being cheated.
Sad. And mean.
I hope my children learn humility by witnessing humility. And honesty by
being treated honestly.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
I'm guessing they'll learn all three of these things when they are ready to.
But none of them is a requirement for a happy life.
A down comforters is a great alternative for "American" bed-making.
The less lawn, the better.
Bikes are practical and require no petrol.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
One child already has one----but at FIFteen. He's grateful for and generous
with it. The second one will probably also get one.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old
dog put to sleep.
Both have happened already. But having a bitch deliver puppies just for the
experience is NOT a good idea----for the bitch, the puppies, or the child.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
What a horrible thought. You can fight for many things without punching
someone in the eye for it.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's
all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he
wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let
him.
Sharing shouldn't be about "drawing lines"-----it should be about sharing.
Compassion comes from witnessing compassion. I doubt YOUR children are
compassionate!
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live
in a town where you can do it safely.
Mine will never go to school. Even if a child were to make it safely to
school---up hill---he is still not safe IN school.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver
to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as
uncool as your Mom.
Odd. I'm considered pretty cool by both children----as well as by their
friends. And I get hugs in public all the time.
And why would rain keep someone from walking?
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead
of buying one.
Both are acceptable sling-shots. How many have you made?
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
Is there a method for digging in the dirt we all must learn? Surrounded by
dirt and books, digging and reading happen naturally.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in
your head.
Surrounded by numbers.....adding and subtracting happens naturally. Computers
don't even enter in to it.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a
boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap
tastes like.
Friends who will tease you for loving someone aren't friends. And a mother
who will impose such a punishment is only worthy of being talked back to!
Both of these wishes are down-right despicable! What horrible things to wish
on a child! Maybe you should have YOUR mouth washed out with soap!
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and
stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
Again! Despicable! Purposefully wishing pain upon a child? What kind of
man/father are you?
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a
friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
What makes beer so offensive? "Try it, but I hope you don't like it?" What
kind of wish is that? I guess you don't drink? Both my boys drink wine and beer.
Neither care for hard liquor. Personal tastes.
And I had many friends who offered me joints. I've never smoked. But they are
still my friends. Who are YOU to judge my friends?
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go
fishing with your Uncle.
Not if these are his wishes for his grandchildren! I'd rather my children
stay far, far away from you!
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
Funerals are barbaric. And holidays filled with people who believe this crap
cannot possibly be filled with joy.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your
neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hanukah/Christmas time
when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
I would hope that I would understand that it was an ACCIDENT and help my
child find a way to make restitution----just as I would if it happened to my
husband or to a friend. And I will give hugs and kisses for no reason what-so-ever
other than that he is my son.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and
happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
The only way to appreciate life is to have one. A good one. Being dealt
punishments and unkindness because you are a child is humiliating and shameful and
should not be tolerated in decent society. A child who is routinely----and
purposefully---maltreated as you suggest above will NOT appreciate his life, Mr.
Harvey.
I'm glad you aren't my sons' grandfather.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Penn Acres
This is probably redundant but of course you know this is one of those "send around emails that people forward"
I thought your responses were well thought out and reflected your own take on things.Your father in law should get a bolt up his butt and have a longer look at stuff before he sends it on.....hopefully?
Earlier this winter
I had the same silly thing forwarded to me from a daughter in law and from her list of recipiants it had pretty much been sent on to most of the parents in our area.( way off in the Canadian Rockies...)
I sent her a reply that that pretty much said "I know this doesn't actually reflect your view on child raising and is just a "send on" but I think it is a mean and thoughtless way to think of children."
She never ever commented but still forwards every bit of drivel that comes her way. and "yes" it does seem to reflect her viewpoint on some things. -but I am just a "mother-in-law so what do I know" LOL
And on the same vein---what is it with all the junk that people send on? I get the damdest things.
I do send stuff on myself but I try to at least stop and think if that particular person might find it funny or interesting.
And do all those people Really!! believe the sky will fall on them if they dont "send this on" to 20 of your friends.
grace
finally got my income tax done...
I thought your responses were well thought out and reflected your own take on things.Your father in law should get a bolt up his butt and have a longer look at stuff before he sends it on.....hopefully?
Earlier this winter
I had the same silly thing forwarded to me from a daughter in law and from her list of recipiants it had pretty much been sent on to most of the parents in our area.( way off in the Canadian Rockies...)
I sent her a reply that that pretty much said "I know this doesn't actually reflect your view on child raising and is just a "send on" but I think it is a mean and thoughtless way to think of children."
She never ever commented but still forwards every bit of drivel that comes her way. and "yes" it does seem to reflect her viewpoint on some things. -but I am just a "mother-in-law so what do I know" LOL
And on the same vein---what is it with all the junk that people send on? I get the damdest things.
I do send stuff on myself but I try to at least stop and think if that particular person might find it funny or interesting.
And do all those people Really!! believe the sky will fall on them if they dont "send this on" to 20 of your friends.
grace
finally got my income tax done...
----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 3:16 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] a wish for my grandchildren
I got this in the mail from my father-in-law. My responses follow. He sure
knows hoe to piss off a daughter-in-law!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/21/2004 5:45:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
pennacres@... writes:
I thought your responses were well thought out and reflected your own take on
things.Your father in law should get a bolt up his butt and have a longer
look at stuff before he sends it on.....hopefully?<<<<<<<
Yeah----he's sent it twice already. I've received it once from my
mother-in-law (they're divorced). I've asked not to be sent this crap anymore---maybe
this time my tactic will work. Asking nicely doesn't seem to.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pennacres@... writes:
>>>>>>This is probably redundant but of course you know this is one of those"send around emails that people forward"
I thought your responses were well thought out and reflected your own take on
things.Your father in law should get a bolt up his butt and have a longer
look at stuff before he sends it on.....hopefully?<<<<<<<
Yeah----he's sent it twice already. I've received it once from my
mother-in-law (they're divorced). I've asked not to be sent this crap anymore---maybe
this time my tactic will work. Asking nicely doesn't seem to.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I've read the actual essay and the version your father sent has been edited
to be rougher. From the snopes.com site:
"The
claim that this essay is "from Paul Harvey" is ambiguous — does it mean he
wrote the essay, or that he popularized it? It's unclear which concept the
writer of the e-mail was trying to communicate, so we'll answer both questions in
preference to guessing what was in that person's mind.
Paul Harvey certainly didn't write the essay. The true author of this piece
is Lee Pitts, and the nostalgic essay was published in his 1995 book People Who
Live At The End of Dirt Roads and appeared in the 2000 book Chicken Soup for
the Golden Soul.
Paul Harvey does use material written by Lee Pitts from time to time, and he
did read this particular essay (crediting Pitts, of course) during his 6
September 1997 broadcast. "
Here's the actual essay. I think it's better this way, not so vindictive:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I’d know better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and home-made ice
cream and leftover meatloaf. I really would.
My cherished grandson, I hope you learn humility by surviving failure and
that you learn to be honest even when no one is looking.
I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car — and I
hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born, and you
have a good friend to be with you if you ever have to put your old dog to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it is all
right to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl
under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you’ll let him.
And when you want to see a Disney movie and your kid brother wants to tag
along, I hope you take him.
I hope you have to walk uphill with your friends and that you live in a town
where you can do it safely.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your father teaches you how to make one
instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, and when
you learn to use computers, you also learn how to add and subtract in your
head.
I hope you get razzed by friends when you have your first crush on a girl,
and that when you talk back to your mother you learn what Ivory soap tastes
like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on the stove and
stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I hope you get sick when someone blows smoke in your face. I don’t care if
you try beer once, but I hope you won’t like it. And if a friend offers you a
joint or any drugs, I hope you are smart enough to realize that person is not
your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandpa or go fishing
with your uncle.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor’
s window, and that she hugs you and kisses you when you give her a plaster of
paris mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you — tough times and disappointment, hard work and
happiness
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to be rougher. From the snopes.com site:
"The
claim that this essay is "from Paul Harvey" is ambiguous — does it mean he
wrote the essay, or that he popularized it? It's unclear which concept the
writer of the e-mail was trying to communicate, so we'll answer both questions in
preference to guessing what was in that person's mind.
Paul Harvey certainly didn't write the essay. The true author of this piece
is Lee Pitts, and the nostalgic essay was published in his 1995 book People Who
Live At The End of Dirt Roads and appeared in the 2000 book Chicken Soup for
the Golden Soul.
Paul Harvey does use material written by Lee Pitts from time to time, and he
did read this particular essay (crediting Pitts, of course) during his 6
September 1997 broadcast. "
Here's the actual essay. I think it's better this way, not so vindictive:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I’d know better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and home-made ice
cream and leftover meatloaf. I really would.
My cherished grandson, I hope you learn humility by surviving failure and
that you learn to be honest even when no one is looking.
I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car — and I
hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born, and you
have a good friend to be with you if you ever have to put your old dog to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it is all
right to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl
under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you’ll let him.
And when you want to see a Disney movie and your kid brother wants to tag
along, I hope you take him.
I hope you have to walk uphill with your friends and that you live in a town
where you can do it safely.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your father teaches you how to make one
instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, and when
you learn to use computers, you also learn how to add and subtract in your
head.
I hope you get razzed by friends when you have your first crush on a girl,
and that when you talk back to your mother you learn what Ivory soap tastes
like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on the stove and
stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I hope you get sick when someone blows smoke in your face. I don’t care if
you try beer once, but I hope you won’t like it. And if a friend offers you a
joint or any drugs, I hope you are smart enough to realize that person is not
your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandpa or go fishing
with your uncle.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor’
s window, and that she hugs you and kisses you when you give her a plaster of
paris mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you — tough times and disappointment, hard work and
happiness
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Get yourself another screenname or mail box (either an extra free one at AOL or a freebie at yahoo) tell all the people who forward crap that you've changed your addy, and let all the crap settle there. Clear it out once in awhile and maybe you can finally have most of the junk out of your regular mailbox.
Syl
*****
Yeah----he's sent it twice already. I've received it once from my
mother-in-law (they're divorced). I've asked not to be sent this crap anymore---maybe
this time my tactic will work. Asking nicely doesn't seem to.
~Kelly
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos: High-quality 4x6 digital prints for 25�
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Syl
*****
Yeah----he's sent it twice already. I've received it once from my
mother-in-law (they're divorced). I've asked not to be sent this crap anymore---maybe
this time my tactic will work. Asking nicely doesn't seem to.
~Kelly
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos: High-quality 4x6 digital prints for 25�
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
averyschmidt
> What makes beer so offensive? "Try it, but I hope you don't likeit?" What
> kind of wish is that? I guess you don't drink? Both my boys drinkwine and beer.
> Neither care for hard liquor. Personal tastes.I've been meaning to ask about this because it jumped out at me.
My oldest son (almost 11) likes to sip from my husband's beer or my
glass of wine sometimes, but he hasn't yet progressed to wanting to
pour himself a glass. I'm not sure how I'd handle it. On the one
hand I don't think a little would hurt him (in the privacy of our
home) and I really don't want to create a forbidden fruit thing, but
on the other hand I worry about "what will people think" if his
friends get wind of it (and their parents)- probably because people
think our lifestyle is loose enough already.
How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
who like wine and beer?
Patti
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/23/04 9:46:58 AM, patti.schmidt2@... writes:
<< How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
who like wine and beer? >>
My mom was a life-ruining alcoholic, and it's genetic, so I would worry.
Neither my husband nor I are alcoholics, but any of our kids could be.
That's a personal perspective based on years of pain.
My husband drinks occasionally. I like to have a margarita when I'm at a
fancy restaurant and am going to be lingering peacfully over a big chicken
enchilada plate for an hour. Neither of us drinks for stress release or beverage
purposes.
One of my best teen-years friends, whom I was friends with for many years,
and his wife and kids, died at 35 of alcoholism. (Not before ruining big chunks
of other people's lives.)
I fear alcohol much more than I do guns or any other of the common boogey men
parents fear. If there were some simple "piss-in-a-cup, dip-a-strip, are you
a person who cannot drink alcohol or else you will ruin your life and several
more besides) test, then I would relax. But the test is whether after a few
years that person won't even listen when others suggest he not drink so much,
and by that time the ruination has begun.
If it's six of one or half a dozen of another to a kid, I'd much rather he
channel his desire and potential addiction toward Coka Cola, Dr Pepper, coffee,
tea or even the minor-league illegal drugs than that he drank, grew to like
it, came to live for and in it.
Real fear, based on real experiences.
Sandra
<< How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
who like wine and beer? >>
My mom was a life-ruining alcoholic, and it's genetic, so I would worry.
Neither my husband nor I are alcoholics, but any of our kids could be.
That's a personal perspective based on years of pain.
My husband drinks occasionally. I like to have a margarita when I'm at a
fancy restaurant and am going to be lingering peacfully over a big chicken
enchilada plate for an hour. Neither of us drinks for stress release or beverage
purposes.
One of my best teen-years friends, whom I was friends with for many years,
and his wife and kids, died at 35 of alcoholism. (Not before ruining big chunks
of other people's lives.)
I fear alcohol much more than I do guns or any other of the common boogey men
parents fear. If there were some simple "piss-in-a-cup, dip-a-strip, are you
a person who cannot drink alcohol or else you will ruin your life and several
more besides) test, then I would relax. But the test is whether after a few
years that person won't even listen when others suggest he not drink so much,
and by that time the ruination has begun.
If it's six of one or half a dozen of another to a kid, I'd much rather he
channel his desire and potential addiction toward Coka Cola, Dr Pepper, coffee,
tea or even the minor-league illegal drugs than that he drank, grew to like
it, came to live for and in it.
Real fear, based on real experiences.
Sandra
Dana Matt
We have an old pepsi machine here filled with beer
(home-brewed and micro-brewed), home-made pop, (or
coke or pepsi when we can find the 12 oz bottles that
fit in the machine...) bottles of juice, bottles of
water....Usually quite an assortment. They are all
available to everyone. My 6 yo has always liked beer,
since about 2. My 11 yo never has, except for
hefeweisen, but she's allergic to wheat so that's not
an option :(....Anyway, my 6 yo is likely to get
herself a beer maybe once, twice a month, and drink
about three swallows. She also likes pop, juice, and
coffee--but she prefers water.
Anyway, I don't know how we "hanlde" it....I never
thought of it being an issue. So I probably gave you
nothing helpful, just anecdotal ;) But anyway, that's
how it is here....
Dana
in Montana
--- averyschmidt <patti.schmidt2@...> wrote:
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(home-brewed and micro-brewed), home-made pop, (or
coke or pepsi when we can find the 12 oz bottles that
fit in the machine...) bottles of juice, bottles of
water....Usually quite an assortment. They are all
available to everyone. My 6 yo has always liked beer,
since about 2. My 11 yo never has, except for
hefeweisen, but she's allergic to wheat so that's not
an option :(....Anyway, my 6 yo is likely to get
herself a beer maybe once, twice a month, and drink
about three swallows. She also likes pop, juice, and
coffee--but she prefers water.
Anyway, I don't know how we "hanlde" it....I never
thought of it being an issue. So I probably gave you
nothing helpful, just anecdotal ;) But anyway, that's
how it is here....
Dana
in Montana
--- averyschmidt <patti.schmidt2@...> wrote:
> > What makes beer so offensive? "Try it, but I hope__________________________________
> you don't like
> it?" What
> > kind of wish is that? I guess you don't drink?
> Both my boys drink
> wine and beer.
> > Neither care for hard liquor. Personal tastes.
>
> I've been meaning to ask about this because it
> jumped out at me.
> My oldest son (almost 11) likes to sip from my
> husband's beer or my
> glass of wine sometimes, but he hasn't yet
> progressed to wanting to
> pour himself a glass. I'm not sure how I'd handle
> it. On the one
> hand I don't think a little would hurt him (in the
> privacy of our
> home) and I really don't want to create a forbidden
> fruit thing, but
> on the other hand I worry about "what will people
> think" if his
> friends get wind of it (and their parents)- probably
> because people
> think our lifestyle is loose enough already.
> How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with
> your children
> who like wine and beer?
>
> Patti
>
>
>
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Debra Kattler
I'd handle it the way I try to handle anything else. I would discuss
the many facets of choosing to drink alcohol. Describe the positives
and negatives as I understand them. (As long as the child was still
interested in hearing all that!) I'd try to give real information,
explain where I have fears and might be reacting to that fear. I'd try
to help them be safe about it. Try to not care what other people think
:-) although I would explain possible ramifications of other people's
judgements. That way the child could make an educated decision about
how private to keep it.
Debra
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the many facets of choosing to drink alcohol. Describe the positives
and negatives as I understand them. (As long as the child was still
interested in hearing all that!) I'd try to give real information,
explain where I have fears and might be reacting to that fear. I'd try
to help them be safe about it. Try to not care what other people think
:-) although I would explain possible ramifications of other people's
judgements. That way the child could make an educated decision about
how private to keep it.
Debra
>________________________________________________________________
>
> I've been meaning to ask about this because it jumped out at me.
> My oldest son (almost 11) likes to sip from my husband's beer or my
> glass of wine sometimes, but he hasn't yet progressed to wanting to
> pour himself a glass. I'm not sure how I'd handle it. On the one
> hand I don't think a little would hurt him (in the privacy of our
> home) and I really don't want to create a forbidden fruit thing, but
> on the other hand I worry about "what will people think" if his
> friends get wind of it (and their parents)- probably because people
> think our lifestyle is loose enough already.
> How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
> who like wine and beer?
>
> Patti
$0 Bannerless Web Hosting, 10 POP and Web Email Accounts, & more
Get It Now At www.doteasy.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/23/2004 11:46:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
who like wine and beer? <<<<<<<<<
We don't drink at every meal. <g> But at parties or when we're having a
"finer" supper, we'll pour each boy a small glass of wine or beer---whatever we're
drinking. They have the choice to drink it or not. It's important to us that
the wine go with the meal----to enhance the flavor and make the meal even
better than it would have been without it. So they'll usually have a sip or two.
Maybe even a whole glass. Very young, we would add some water to the glass, so
it wouldn't be as strong.
Duncan's eight and barely drinks what we offer. Cameron's 16 and usually will
drink a glass or two at a dinner party----depending on the wine. He's
becoming fairly descriminating.
There's always a bottle of wine in the 'frig' and always a six-pack of good
beer too (since we buy beer mostly for parties and we hardly ever drink it all,
it just stays in the 'frig'). It's fair game, just as the cokes, Capri-suns,
tea (sweet, of course! <G>), milk, juice, and water are.
We have no concerns with Cameron. Our problem comes in with guests. We've
told his friends that we have absolutely no problem with their drinking when
they're here if we've heard that it's OK with their parents----and here it must be
in moderation. No drunken binges. So far, no parents have come forward with
an OK, so it's off-limits for them.
Cameron's (maybe three times???) asked whether he could have a beer with
supper. It's always OK. But every time I've found the bottle only half-drunk. So
I'm not worried about any serious problems.
I agree with Sandra here though-----if there were alcoholism somewhere in our
backgrounds, I'd be much more concerned. As it is, I'm easy with it. I'd
rather both boys learn to drink socially than to sneak off to binge as I saw so
many of my friends do by 15-16 and on up into college and beyond.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
patti.schmidt2@... writes:
How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
who like wine and beer? <<<<<<<<<
We don't drink at every meal. <g> But at parties or when we're having a
"finer" supper, we'll pour each boy a small glass of wine or beer---whatever we're
drinking. They have the choice to drink it or not. It's important to us that
the wine go with the meal----to enhance the flavor and make the meal even
better than it would have been without it. So they'll usually have a sip or two.
Maybe even a whole glass. Very young, we would add some water to the glass, so
it wouldn't be as strong.
Duncan's eight and barely drinks what we offer. Cameron's 16 and usually will
drink a glass or two at a dinner party----depending on the wine. He's
becoming fairly descriminating.
There's always a bottle of wine in the 'frig' and always a six-pack of good
beer too (since we buy beer mostly for parties and we hardly ever drink it all,
it just stays in the 'frig'). It's fair game, just as the cokes, Capri-suns,
tea (sweet, of course! <G>), milk, juice, and water are.
We have no concerns with Cameron. Our problem comes in with guests. We've
told his friends that we have absolutely no problem with their drinking when
they're here if we've heard that it's OK with their parents----and here it must be
in moderation. No drunken binges. So far, no parents have come forward with
an OK, so it's off-limits for them.
Cameron's (maybe three times???) asked whether he could have a beer with
supper. It's always OK. But every time I've found the bottle only half-drunk. So
I'm not worried about any serious problems.
I agree with Sandra here though-----if there were alcoholism somewhere in our
backgrounds, I'd be much more concerned. As it is, I'm easy with it. I'd
rather both boys learn to drink socially than to sneak off to binge as I saw so
many of my friends do by 15-16 and on up into college and beyond.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
averyschmidt wrote:
grandparents and uncles, not parents or siblings.) My husband's parents
were also alcoholics, although that is not something anyone in their
family discusses as both his parents are dead. My parents were very
open with alcohol. If I wanted a glass, I was able to help myself. I'm
not sure when this started, but probably at about 10 or so. They
probably did what I am doing, which is letting my children have sips of
whatever I have, with a glass themselves at special occassions. Lexie
has asked for a glass of champaigne and I complied. She didn't drink
it, beyond a few sips. Janene likes beer and has drank more than a sip
of mine, with my permission. As Lexie gets older, she'll be able to
have whatever she wishes, within reason. Same with her friends,
although I will need to have permission of their parents or know them
very well (her best friend has parents who do as we do, so I would not
have a problem letting this child have wine or beer and in fact, I
think, already have, although it's been in the form of tasting from my
own glass, at least one time in her parent's house.) My parents, by the
time I was in my teens, would buy me wine on request (I liked red at the
time, and they drank white so I generally had to ask to get the type I
wanted). I also would request beer on occassion, although I was happy
to drink my dad's if he had some around. My parents used to drink more
than they do now, and my dad would have 1-2 drinks a day usually while
my mom was a 1-2 drink per week, if that. I go through phases when I
drink a glass or two every day and then I go through phases where I go
for months without touching the stuff. All is normal and I want my
children to see this. There has been a few occassions when Lexie has
taken it upon herself to poor me a glass of wine unbidden and I found
that a sweet thing to do. Once I asked her to bring me a glass and she
was taking the longest time but I was busy doing something and didn't
notice until she came up with the new bottle of wine and the corkscrew
almost out, and said "I ALMOST did it mom, but I can't get it out the
last bit" and I was rather proud that my eight year old figured out how
to use the corkscrew. ;-) Lexie is also aware of how food effects
alcohol, and has said, when we go out, mom, if you have a glass of wine
now and then eat, you'll be OK to drive. but only ONE glass of wine. :-)
I think modeling good drinking habits and teaching moderation will go a
long way toward prevention of addiction. My mom used to say "if you
WANT a glass of wine, go ahead but if you NEED a glass of wine, you need
to rethink things."
Lexie and I were talking about pot the other day and an anti drug
commercial that loops all the drugs as being the same evil, and her
ideas on why pot was not so bad were pretty sophisticated. We've talked
about it a lot. I've told her that if she wants to try pot, I'd like
for her to please come to me so we could find some that was pretty pure
(or grow it ourselves) because of the risk of it being laced with acid
or something she didn't want to try. I'd also rather her try it with me
(I don't know if I'd actually smoke pot again, at this point in my life
I'd say no, I'm too much of a control freak and I am not in control when
drunk or on drugs, but I would be with her while she did so). She's
very aware of medical uses for pot and agrees that it should be legal.
We've also spent time talking about the risks of breaking any law, but
especially laws regarding drugs, and how we must measure the risks vs
the benefits or desire to try a drug.
I think my parents pretty liberal views on drinking and their kids paid
off. Of my four grandparents, all but one was either a drug addict or
alcoholic. Both my uncles and my one aunt are also drug
addicts/alcoholics (although everyone is in recovery and has been for
years.) My parents had three children (two biologically) and all of us
are very mild drinkers. I plan to follow their lead as this is one area
parenting wise in which I think they did pretty good. :-)
Joylyn
>I have alcoholism and drug addicts in my family (although they are
> How exactly do you approach alcoholic beverages with your children
> who like wine and beer?
grandparents and uncles, not parents or siblings.) My husband's parents
were also alcoholics, although that is not something anyone in their
family discusses as both his parents are dead. My parents were very
open with alcohol. If I wanted a glass, I was able to help myself. I'm
not sure when this started, but probably at about 10 or so. They
probably did what I am doing, which is letting my children have sips of
whatever I have, with a glass themselves at special occassions. Lexie
has asked for a glass of champaigne and I complied. She didn't drink
it, beyond a few sips. Janene likes beer and has drank more than a sip
of mine, with my permission. As Lexie gets older, she'll be able to
have whatever she wishes, within reason. Same with her friends,
although I will need to have permission of their parents or know them
very well (her best friend has parents who do as we do, so I would not
have a problem letting this child have wine or beer and in fact, I
think, already have, although it's been in the form of tasting from my
own glass, at least one time in her parent's house.) My parents, by the
time I was in my teens, would buy me wine on request (I liked red at the
time, and they drank white so I generally had to ask to get the type I
wanted). I also would request beer on occassion, although I was happy
to drink my dad's if he had some around. My parents used to drink more
than they do now, and my dad would have 1-2 drinks a day usually while
my mom was a 1-2 drink per week, if that. I go through phases when I
drink a glass or two every day and then I go through phases where I go
for months without touching the stuff. All is normal and I want my
children to see this. There has been a few occassions when Lexie has
taken it upon herself to poor me a glass of wine unbidden and I found
that a sweet thing to do. Once I asked her to bring me a glass and she
was taking the longest time but I was busy doing something and didn't
notice until she came up with the new bottle of wine and the corkscrew
almost out, and said "I ALMOST did it mom, but I can't get it out the
last bit" and I was rather proud that my eight year old figured out how
to use the corkscrew. ;-) Lexie is also aware of how food effects
alcohol, and has said, when we go out, mom, if you have a glass of wine
now and then eat, you'll be OK to drive. but only ONE glass of wine. :-)
I think modeling good drinking habits and teaching moderation will go a
long way toward prevention of addiction. My mom used to say "if you
WANT a glass of wine, go ahead but if you NEED a glass of wine, you need
to rethink things."
Lexie and I were talking about pot the other day and an anti drug
commercial that loops all the drugs as being the same evil, and her
ideas on why pot was not so bad were pretty sophisticated. We've talked
about it a lot. I've told her that if she wants to try pot, I'd like
for her to please come to me so we could find some that was pretty pure
(or grow it ourselves) because of the risk of it being laced with acid
or something she didn't want to try. I'd also rather her try it with me
(I don't know if I'd actually smoke pot again, at this point in my life
I'd say no, I'm too much of a control freak and I am not in control when
drunk or on drugs, but I would be with her while she did so). She's
very aware of medical uses for pot and agrees that it should be legal.
We've also spent time talking about the risks of breaking any law, but
especially laws regarding drugs, and how we must measure the risks vs
the benefits or desire to try a drug.
I think my parents pretty liberal views on drinking and their kids paid
off. Of my four grandparents, all but one was either a drug addict or
alcoholic. Both my uncles and my one aunt are also drug
addicts/alcoholics (although everyone is in recovery and has been for
years.) My parents had three children (two biologically) and all of us
are very mild drinkers. I plan to follow their lead as this is one area
parenting wise in which I think they did pretty good. :-)
Joylyn
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> Patti
>
>
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