Joanna Wilkinson

I've been unschooling for about 5-6 years now. Homeschooling 7years.
I've rarely worried about my older two with learning what they
needed, except for a little with math with my oldest. Still find
myself needing to let go and trust, but it can be hard when she is
concerned herself. I usually end up offering to help her learn some
basic math stuff, I buy or remind her of games we have. I print out
work sheets and help her through them, talk about concepts and ideas
of real life math and try to help her relax and not worry if she
isn't doing algebra like kids in school. I took it in high school
and college and can't do it either. She really isn't into math. She
doesn't enjoy trying to figure things out, though she completely
understands all the math that comes with her bass lessons or when
she took a fashion design class and had to figure measurments.
I wish we could surround ourselves with unschoolers, but like I've
complained before, I've been searching for years in my area, with no
luck.
Jack is my real issue for this post. I never had to deal with
reading with Carly or Sam. Carly learned while she was in 1st grade
and Sam went to pre school and k and while not fully reading after k,
he steadily figured it out within the next year. I gave full credit
to his game boy, but he probably did get a lot of basic ideas while
in school, to help him build on.
So Jack's not reading at 7. No big deal....
But, it is a big deal.
Like I said, we know no unschoolers in our area. His buddies, who go
to school, have learned to read. Hooked on Phonics commercials show
worried parents and sad kids until they found HOP. Now they are
joyful!
He loves playing Game Cube games, but mostly bypasses the reading
stuff or has me read things when he realizes the info. must be
important. He plays computer games like Reader Rabbit, and lots of
other software meant to help kids learn to read. We read books
together.
I don't doubt he'll learn eventually, but I'm finding it hard not to
help him along, with my main thought being, I don't want him to feel
like he's lacking. I don't see how he wouldn't feel that way, when
even his 4 yo cousin, who we will be seeing this summer can read.
Telling him that kids learn at all different ages, while true, seems
like lip service, when everyone he knows except for a few kids
younger than him, can read.
He came to me and asked for HOP. I told him I could help him learn
if he wanted some help. "No", HOP had a video that would show him
how to read. I told him to give me 5 minutes a day to show him stuff
about letters and words that might help him learn, and if by the
summer he wasn't reading, and he still wanted HOP, we would get it.
So here I am giving my kid reading lessons!
He wasn't too into the idea of it being me and not HOP that would
help him learn, so I offered an incentive. A quarter for each word
he learns. He already knew a few, like MOM, DAD, NO, so we listed
those, and that instant money gave him some motivation to learn some
more.
We started off with vowel sounds. Long and short. That one little
lesson opened up a doorway of "Aha!" for him. He can figure out
words like t-o-p, and t-a-p-e, now.
Whenever I read about unschooling, it's always to trust your kids,
they will learn. I've always agreed with that, but sometimes there
are outside forces that you can't shield them from that have an
effect on them.
I felt like I had to make a choice between, trying to help him not be
influenced by our world, for what was the right time for him to read,
and me not being too influence by the unschooling world and help him
learn, now.
So, have I lapsed from unschooling, or did I just trust in my child
in a different way. I feel like I was hearing his concerns about not
reading in the things he said (not just the asking for HOP).
I do feel like my own fears were mixed in as well, so it's a little
murky for me as to weather I'm on the right path.
He's not initiating the lessons and he only lasts a few minutes with
them, but he is learning from them. We can both see that.
Any thought?
Joanna

Oh, a little side note. I am now having to take Game Cube lessons
from him. I didn't put it together til just now, but maybe he is
trying to restore some balance by being my teacher is something he's
good at. Interesting....

Joanna Wilkinson

I forgot to give that a subject.
Sorry.

Joanna

Debra Kattler

Hi Joanna,

Would it help Jack if he knew more about HOP? Folks at this house also
found the commercials very compelling. :-) I think it could be helpful
for kids to know that commercials are designed to make something appear
attractive so we will want it. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just
that it might be useful information to understand that things aren't
always as great as they sound on the commercials. Then there is the
idea that the reason the product may work for some people, is that the
people with those results probably sit down and work on it every day in
some kind of rigorous way. So it's not the product per se but the daily
practice perhaps.

Then the product itself. As you know, it is very expensive. And
frankly not all that innovative. We borrowed it from a friend. It is a
series of workbooks, flash cards, and simple reading books. It is
organized by color (five different levels) and there are a couple of
music tapes. But I'm sure you can find a few workbooks and simple
reading books for each level for a lot less money. We still have them
on loan and have had them for about 5 months. They were much sought
after but in reality have been used 2 or 3 times in this house. I could
bring a box or two of them to camp in May if he wants to look at it.
The whole set is 6 boxes! The person I am borrowing them from is in no
rush to get them back. See how useful they are?!

In any case, regarding the unschooling part, which was what you were
asking about. Some times our kids may just want to try classes, the
learning tools, even school. They may work for them and they may not.
The beauty is that they can try it and step away if it isn't what they
thought it would be or what they want. You've asked him to trust you
with your idea to work for 5 minutes a day. If he really doesn't want
to do it, you'll stop right? One thing maybe Jack doesn't realize is
that you'll still be working with him for the 5 minutes, just using the
HOP tools. It's not HOP instead of you. Unless there is some new thing
I don't know about??? My feeling is that we can't and shouldn't
protect them from the outside influences. We can help them negotiate
them but ultimately it's up to them whether or not to be influenced. I
guess we can only let them know that it is OK with us that they learn at
their own pace but if they want to pick up the pace (for whatever
reason) we will try to help. Does that make sense?

I always get confused about adding money into the mix. I have a lot of
entrenched ideas on that topic! Anway, hope some of this helpful.

Debra





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Paula Sjogerman

on 3/14/04 9:12 AM, Joanna Wilkinson at Wilkinson6@... wrote:

> So, have I lapsed from unschooling, or did I just trust in my child
> in a different way.

I vote the latter.

Paula

Debra Kattler

(Note: I posted this at 11 am and it still hasn't appeared on list at 9
pm so I'm resending. I apologize in advance if it ends up showing up
twice.)

Hi Joanna,

Would it help Jack if he knew more about HOP? Folks at this house also
found the commercials very compelling. I think it could be helpful
for kids to know that commercials are designed to make something appear
attractive so we will want it. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just
that it might be useful information to understand that things aren't
always as great as they sound on the commercials. Then there is the
idea that the reason the product may work for some people, is that the
people with those results probably sit down and work on it every day in
some kind of rigorous way. So it's not the product per se but the daily
practice perhaps.

Then the product itself. As you know, it is very expensive. And
frankly not all that innovative. We borrowed it from a friend. It is a
series of workbooks, flash cards, and simple reading books. It is
organized by color (five different levels) and there are a couple of
music tapes. But I'm sure you can find a few workbooks and simple
reading books for each level for a lot less money. We still have them
on loan and have had them for about 5 months. They were much sought
after but in reality have been used 2 or 3 times in this house. I could
bring a box or two of them to camp in May if he wants to look at it.
The whole set is 6 boxes! The person I am borrowing them from is in no
rush to get them back. See how useful they are?!

In any case, regarding the unschooling part, which was what you were
asking about. Some times our kids may just want to try classes, the
learning tools, even school. They may work for them and they may not.
The beauty is that they can try it and step away if it isn't what they
thought it would be or what they want. You've asked him to trust you
with your idea to work for 5 minutes a day. If he really doesn't want
to do it, you'll stop right? One thing maybe Jack doesn't realize is
that you'll still be working with him for the 5 minutes, just using the
HOP tools. It's not HOP instead of you. Unless there is some new thing
I don't know about??? My feeling is that we can't and shouldn't
protect them from the outside influences. We can help them negotiate
them, but ultimately it's up to them whether or not to be influenced. I
guess we can only let them know that it is OK with us that they learn at
their own pace but if they want to pick up the pace (for whatever
reason) we will try to help. Does that make sense?

I always get confused about adding money into the mix. I have a lot of
entrenched ideas on that topic! Anway, hope some of this helpful.
Debra





________________________________________________________________
$0 Bannerless Web Hosting, 10 POP and Web Email Accounts, & more
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nellebelle

>>>>Then there is the
idea that the reason the product may work for some people, is that the
people with those results probably sit down and work on it every day in
some kind of rigorous way. So it's not the product per se but the daily
practice perhaps.>>>>>

Or perhaps the child had reached the point were he/she was ready to read anyway.

Mary Ellen

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