Re: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1148
Ren
"Um, Kids raised with freedom DO choose to have sex. "
No one said they didn't. The point is that a child that isn't needy or overly controlled is probably going to make very wise decisions about their own bodies and when the time is right for them. I don't know of ANY 13y.o.'s raised in the manner being discussed here that wanted to begin sexual relationships that young.
Maybe there's one out there. I think they'd be the exception rather than the rule.
On the other hand, kids that are needy or feeling the need to rebel are the most likely candidates to have sex before they're really ready.
If a 13 y.o. decides to have sex, how are you planning to stop them? I accept that I can't control another human being. I'd rather have a child that trusts me to respect their choices and is willing to talk serious issues over with me rather than do things secretively.
I have WAY more influence over my child's world by treating them with respect, than if I tried to control them...that's the cool part.
My 14 y.o. is no more ready for sex right now than he is marriage! He's happy and comfortable with his life and understands the deep level of intimacy sex can bring. He and I talk about these issues openly...he knows I'm not trying to control him so he can talk freely without fear of condemnation.
Ren
"I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn."
Albert Einstein
No one said they didn't. The point is that a child that isn't needy or overly controlled is probably going to make very wise decisions about their own bodies and when the time is right for them. I don't know of ANY 13y.o.'s raised in the manner being discussed here that wanted to begin sexual relationships that young.
Maybe there's one out there. I think they'd be the exception rather than the rule.
On the other hand, kids that are needy or feeling the need to rebel are the most likely candidates to have sex before they're really ready.
If a 13 y.o. decides to have sex, how are you planning to stop them? I accept that I can't control another human being. I'd rather have a child that trusts me to respect their choices and is willing to talk serious issues over with me rather than do things secretively.
I have WAY more influence over my child's world by treating them with respect, than if I tried to control them...that's the cool part.
My 14 y.o. is no more ready for sex right now than he is marriage! He's happy and comfortable with his life and understands the deep level of intimacy sex can bring. He and I talk about these issues openly...he knows I'm not trying to control him so he can talk freely without fear of condemnation.
Ren
"I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn."
Albert Einstein