Nanci Kuykendall

>You have a child that is 14. She is going to be a
>legal adult in four short years. Don't you think sex
>and nudity should be something she is
>very comfortable with and able to talk about?
>Ren


I was thinking as I read this, that in some states
they can marry at 16, or even 14, with parental
permission. They are older than you think. I was
also thinking that I had access to plenty of televised
sex when I was a pre teen and a young teen, even porn
as part of a regular cable package, when cable first
came out and they didn't have special packages with
different channels. But I actually learned the most
from Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children series, which has
a lot of very detailed sex scenes, particularly in The
Valley of Horses and the Mammoth Hunters. That was
when I was 12.

Nanci K.

Nanci Kuykendall

Censorship, always a popular topic on unschooling
lists. :-)

I had to comment on this:

> as they were getting older. When I felt that they
>understood that inflicting violence on another
>person, an animal, or anything else, was not
>acceptable,

I agree with Joylyn, violence is sometimes necessary.
There was more than one time growing up when I wished
I had been given emotional premission, and physical
preparation, for defending myself.

I was thinking as I read this, does this mean you
don't eat meat? Many vegetarians consider being
cranivorous to be horrible violence against poor
little animals.

Sandra, I love what you said about how if we surround
ourselves with war, what is the benefit of peace?
Very well spoken truth. I know you don't mean games
and recreative fantasy either, since your family is
into that, but real historical or current blood and
guts and tragedy.

As for movie violence, I am a very sensative person
and I love to watch movies like the Matrix, Long Kiss
Goodnight, LOTR, etc. The violence is overblown and
fantastic and unreal, or in a fantasy setting that
equates with being unreal in our modern world. But
when we tried to watch The Patriot, I was sobbing 20
minutes into the movie and could not watch any more.

>I do run around completely naked in front of my
>children, although my husband doesn't any more. I
>think it's important that our girls see real women's
>bodies, not just the air brushed stuff they see in
>ads.

I think that is important for my boys too. I don't
try to hide when I am changing my clothes or in the
shower or something. I want them to have real
expectations of what real women look like. It is
funny though, because my boys have WAAAAY too much
testosterone for 7 and 5. They always say things like
"heh heh..boobies" even though it's not a rare and
wonderful thing for them to see them, well ok, maybe
not rare. LOL My five year old lays on my chest and
says "I like to lay on your boobs mom, they're nice."
My husband says, "Well, can't say I blame him."

Thomas (7) had the funniest conversation with his Dad
when they were out in the car together, related to me
later by dh. He asked how babies get out of a mommy's
belly. His dad gave him some vague answer, and he
said "Yes, but Dad, How do they get out? Where do
they come out? The belly button?" So my husband
explains about the birth canal, since he is obviously
ready for this information and wanting it. Thomas
thinks about this for a while and then says "Dad, I've
looked all over Mommy, and I have not seen anything
like that." So my husband awkwardly explains it's
location, near where I go pee. Thomas laughs and says
"Comeon dad, quit teasing, I really want to know!"

>Sugar sometimes not just makes things sweet but
>changes their taste.

Joylyn I love this! Did you make it up?

Nanci K.

Nanci Kuykendall

>Our children decided for themselves when they were
>uncomfortable with nakedness. The age that happened
>ran from about 4 to 7, depending on the kid. When
>they're uncomfortable with being seen naked, it's
>usually the time they no longer want to see their
>parents naked.
>Tia

My 5 year old spent the last 5 days in a row
completely naked, except when we went to the store.
Then he got dressed to go to the store with us (in
backwards shirt and pants, as usual) and then stripped
when we got home. Last night he said he's a super
hero called "Naked Guy." He's sleeping naked right
now. He's usually enjoys being naked, but not like
this. He obviously needs this right now. He is also
obviously really comfortable in his skin. I don't
think he would be as comfortable if he didn't see on a
regular basis how comfortable his dad and I are in our
skin.

Nanci K.

pmteet

> when we got home. Last night he said he's a super
> hero called "Naked Guy."

LOL that is what my son use to call himself. He is 6 and still loves
to be naked. I think mainly because it bugs Amanda.

Amanda is VERY easy to annoy. She is the perfectionist and thinks he
REALLY NEEDS TO OUTGROW THIS PHASE. LOL I encourge him running
around naked.


Michelle

Tia Leschke

>
>I was thinking as I read this, that in some states
>they can marry at 16, or even 14, with parental
>permission.

In B.C. the age of consent for sex is 14.

>They are older than you think. I was
>also thinking that I had access to plenty of televised
>sex when I was a pre teen and a young teen, even porn
>as part of a regular cable package, when cable first
>came out and they didn't have special packages with
>different channels. But I actually learned the most
>from Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children series, which has
>a lot of very detailed sex scenes, particularly in The
>Valley of Horses and the Mammoth Hunters. That was
>when I was 12.

And what great descriptions to learn from. (well, not in the first book,
but in the others for sure) The sex in the later books is consensual and
very loving. Jondalar's first concern is pleasing Ayla. I did find the sex
scenes pretty predictable after awhile, but they would be a good
introduction to the whole idea. (As it turns out, my daughter tells me that
she had all the "best parts" marked in those books when she was about 13.) <g>
Tia

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/20/2004 10:25:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
>Kat, who's 12, and I discovered Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum murder
>mysteries. Kat loves anything funny and the characters are wonderfully
>quirky. We started with the 9th and there were few scenes depicting a couple
>of steps leading into sex but left the rest to the imagination. But the 4th
>one caught me by surprise and had a scene that left nothing to the
>imagination. (More blatant than Spike and Buffy ;-) Yikes! It's really more
>detail than she needs at this stage of her biological development and it
>made me uncomfortable.

So how did you handle that? Were you reading it aloud, or was she reading
to herself? I read Mary Stewart's Merlin trilogy to Lars when he was quite
young, maybe 8. I found myself skipping the odd paragraph where I could do
it and have it still make sense. I think I might have even said something
like, "You probably don't want to hear this part so I'll skip it." If he
had objected, I guess I would have read those parts.
Tia
************************
Beth read the first couple of Jean Auel's prehistoric books to Julian, who is
14. She told him that she was too shy to read aloud the detailed sex parts,
but said he was welcome to go back and read them. He didn't care, and he
didn't bother.
Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/20/2004 10:25:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
And what great descriptions to learn from. (well, not in the first book,
but in the others for sure) The sex in the later books is consensual and
very loving. Jondalar's first concern is pleasing Ayla. I did find the sex
scenes pretty predictable after awhile, but they would be a good
introduction to the whole idea. (As it turns out, my daughter tells me that
she had all the "best parts" marked in those books when she was about 13.)
********************************
We used to laugh about those scenes in college. They were all these dramatic
references to Jondalar and his flaming man-root.

That's still pretty funny.

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

>
>We used to laugh about those scenes in college. They were all these dramatic
>references to Jondalar and his flaming man-root.

Geeze, I don't remember that. But I did like the references in Diana
Gabaldon's books to a man's cockstand.
Tia

Tia Leschke

>
>Beth read the first couple of Jean Auel's prehistoric books to Julian, who is
>14. She told him that she was too shy to read aloud the detailed sex parts,
>but said he was welcome to go back and read them. He didn't care, and he
>didn't bother.
>Kathryn

I told Lars that I would be uncomfortable reading Jack Whyte's books aloud
for that reason, but that I thought he would like them. I was kind of
hoping that would get him interested (he was certainly interested in all
things sexual at that point) but his reading just wasn't up to par at that
time.
Tia