Passionate Ramblings
kames97
My name is Kathy and I am the mom to James 10, Jacob 5, and Joshua
3. We live in Western NY near Niagara Falls. We started
homeschooling in November of this past year out of necessity. I
quickly bought a curriculum and "did school" for the first month.
After second guessing our decision, I did some poking around into
unschooling and viola, I found my home. After an email to Sandra
Dodd (thanks Sandra) I decided that this way of life was for us. I
am now at peace with my decision to unschool because it just makes
sense. I immediately bought learning all the time and the day I got
it, sat on the couch curled up as if I was in the midst of a great
novel. I read that book cover to cover and that book lit a fire
inside me with such passion that I have never known. And I am a
passionate person...
I found this group through Sandra and have been pouring over the
threads to find comfort in my decision. I dare not tell a soul (or
at least that is how I feel) because I do not want to argue my
decision. Most people can't even imagine letting go of their
children and "trusting them"? Most people I know don't trust their
children, they see them as people who do whatever it takes to get
their way. I can't say I ever really distrusted my boys, but I
always felt as if I knew what was best for them. I now know that
while I do know some things about "life" that they don't know, and
my experiences will help to keep them safe, they ultimately know
what they want and need and I trust that due to their natural
curiosity, they will be poking around for a lifetime.
Since my decision, I have felt the insatiable desire to "get to know
my kids". Not to say that I don't know them already, but a lot of
times I know they tell me what they think I want to hear. Just as
they did in school to the teacher. I have tried to wipe our slate
clean and let them feel safe to tell me what they think I don't want
to hear. Since last week, I have had 3 in depth conversations with
my 10 year old that have told me things about him I never knew. He
can hold conversations like a 30 year old. I think all children are
wise beyond their years so to speak and the only reason most people
don't know that about their children is that the kids are afraid to
let it out. Afraid of the judgment that will meet them. Children
learn it is easier to say nothing than to constantly be told why
they shouldn't feel, think, or act a certain way.
I will take this day by and day and try to just "shut up and
listen". Shut up and listen to the pitter patter of running, the
laughter, the amazement in their eyes when they accomplish something
on their own, the joy in their hearts after telling me all about
something that they feel real passionately about. Just as I would
like that someone would listen to me when I feel passionately about
something. Our passion, although different are ultimately the same
emotion, not stronger because I am an adult, but the same emotion.
Theirs is not to be undervalued for their age or size. I will stop
myself from always butting in their sibling disagreements with the
trust that they will somehow figure out how to keep the peace
themselves and when they do, will feel satisfied that they did it on
their own. I will work hard every day to not correct them when
their counting is not in the order I would count in, or when they
tell me that it is hot when I know it is cold, or blue when I know
it is black. I will trust that they will figure it out for
themselves eventually. I will trust that if they are spending all
day on a particular game that tomorrow they may or may not do it
again, but they will have a lot to tell me about regardless.
While it won't be an easy task for me, the somewhat controlling,
always involved mother that I have been for the past 10 years
because that is what I thought I was "supposed" to be doing. I feel
that it is a worthwhile achievement to work towards everyday so
someday when my kids are grow up and moved on to families of their
own they will look back and say "No, my mom didn't tell us what to
do, when to do it, where to do it, whom to do it with, she never
interfered with our hopes and dreams, but she was always there.
Always opening the door for us and trusting that we would find on
the other side of the door something amazing or not. And that was
okay with her"!
One of my dear friends who has 14 and 19 year old boys got the best
Christmas gift that anyone could have given her this year. It
something you can't buy, because it is priceless. Each in their own
way wrote down why "my mom" is the best. The 14 year old did the
top 10 reasons why my mom is the best and the 19 year old did the
ABC's of my mom. Both were equally touching and after she finished
reading them to me, I admit that I had to reach for the box of
tissues. I believe I was crying because I wasn't sure up to this
point that my children could possibly say any of those great things
about me. I decided that someday I hope that my children would
have these feelings about me and their childhood and want me to
know. So I decided what I wanted them to write about me when they
are older and now I am going to work hard to make sure they can.
Thank you all for listening to my passionate ramblings. Have a
great day!
P.S. I would especially appreciate any contact from anyone in this
area that I could do things with. I belong to the area
homeschoolers but don't find their are many unschoolers there.
Although that may not be the case.
3. We live in Western NY near Niagara Falls. We started
homeschooling in November of this past year out of necessity. I
quickly bought a curriculum and "did school" for the first month.
After second guessing our decision, I did some poking around into
unschooling and viola, I found my home. After an email to Sandra
Dodd (thanks Sandra) I decided that this way of life was for us. I
am now at peace with my decision to unschool because it just makes
sense. I immediately bought learning all the time and the day I got
it, sat on the couch curled up as if I was in the midst of a great
novel. I read that book cover to cover and that book lit a fire
inside me with such passion that I have never known. And I am a
passionate person...
I found this group through Sandra and have been pouring over the
threads to find comfort in my decision. I dare not tell a soul (or
at least that is how I feel) because I do not want to argue my
decision. Most people can't even imagine letting go of their
children and "trusting them"? Most people I know don't trust their
children, they see them as people who do whatever it takes to get
their way. I can't say I ever really distrusted my boys, but I
always felt as if I knew what was best for them. I now know that
while I do know some things about "life" that they don't know, and
my experiences will help to keep them safe, they ultimately know
what they want and need and I trust that due to their natural
curiosity, they will be poking around for a lifetime.
Since my decision, I have felt the insatiable desire to "get to know
my kids". Not to say that I don't know them already, but a lot of
times I know they tell me what they think I want to hear. Just as
they did in school to the teacher. I have tried to wipe our slate
clean and let them feel safe to tell me what they think I don't want
to hear. Since last week, I have had 3 in depth conversations with
my 10 year old that have told me things about him I never knew. He
can hold conversations like a 30 year old. I think all children are
wise beyond their years so to speak and the only reason most people
don't know that about their children is that the kids are afraid to
let it out. Afraid of the judgment that will meet them. Children
learn it is easier to say nothing than to constantly be told why
they shouldn't feel, think, or act a certain way.
I will take this day by and day and try to just "shut up and
listen". Shut up and listen to the pitter patter of running, the
laughter, the amazement in their eyes when they accomplish something
on their own, the joy in their hearts after telling me all about
something that they feel real passionately about. Just as I would
like that someone would listen to me when I feel passionately about
something. Our passion, although different are ultimately the same
emotion, not stronger because I am an adult, but the same emotion.
Theirs is not to be undervalued for their age or size. I will stop
myself from always butting in their sibling disagreements with the
trust that they will somehow figure out how to keep the peace
themselves and when they do, will feel satisfied that they did it on
their own. I will work hard every day to not correct them when
their counting is not in the order I would count in, or when they
tell me that it is hot when I know it is cold, or blue when I know
it is black. I will trust that they will figure it out for
themselves eventually. I will trust that if they are spending all
day on a particular game that tomorrow they may or may not do it
again, but they will have a lot to tell me about regardless.
While it won't be an easy task for me, the somewhat controlling,
always involved mother that I have been for the past 10 years
because that is what I thought I was "supposed" to be doing. I feel
that it is a worthwhile achievement to work towards everyday so
someday when my kids are grow up and moved on to families of their
own they will look back and say "No, my mom didn't tell us what to
do, when to do it, where to do it, whom to do it with, she never
interfered with our hopes and dreams, but she was always there.
Always opening the door for us and trusting that we would find on
the other side of the door something amazing or not. And that was
okay with her"!
One of my dear friends who has 14 and 19 year old boys got the best
Christmas gift that anyone could have given her this year. It
something you can't buy, because it is priceless. Each in their own
way wrote down why "my mom" is the best. The 14 year old did the
top 10 reasons why my mom is the best and the 19 year old did the
ABC's of my mom. Both were equally touching and after she finished
reading them to me, I admit that I had to reach for the box of
tissues. I believe I was crying because I wasn't sure up to this
point that my children could possibly say any of those great things
about me. I decided that someday I hope that my children would
have these feelings about me and their childhood and want me to
know. So I decided what I wanted them to write about me when they
are older and now I am going to work hard to make sure they can.
Thank you all for listening to my passionate ramblings. Have a
great day!
P.S. I would especially appreciate any contact from anyone in this
area that I could do things with. I belong to the area
homeschoolers but don't find their are many unschoolers there.
Although that may not be the case.
Jason & Stephanie
<<<<My name is Kathy and I am the mom to James 10, Jacob 5, and Joshua
3. We live in Western NY near Niagara Falls. We started
homeschooling in November of this past year out of necessity.>>>>
********Hi Kathy,
My dh and I are from western NY, Lockport and Wilson, we live in PA now but try to get up there several times a year for holidays and visit with our families. Congratulations on the decision to keep your kids at home.
Stephanie
Kieran(8) Brennan(5 1/2) Cassandra(4) Jared(18months)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
3. We live in Western NY near Niagara Falls. We started
homeschooling in November of this past year out of necessity.>>>>
********Hi Kathy,
My dh and I are from western NY, Lockport and Wilson, we live in PA now but try to get up there several times a year for holidays and visit with our families. Congratulations on the decision to keep your kids at home.
Stephanie
Kieran(8) Brennan(5 1/2) Cassandra(4) Jared(18months)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/19/04 8:37:56 PM, KAMES97@... writes:
<< Since last week, I have had 3 in depth conversations with
my 10 year old that have told me things about him I never knew. He
can hold conversations like a 30 year old. I think all children are
wise beyond their years so to speak and the only reason most people
don't know that about their children is that the kids are afraid to
let it out. >>
Maybe you've found this already, but one of my favorite ideas and essays is
"Leaning on a Truck," about how easy it is to talk if you're not making eye
contact and "having a talk."
http://sandradodd.com/truck
-=I will take this day by and day and try to just "shut up and
listen". -=-
It might help for you to tell them stories about when you were their age, or
about things you used to think were true or might be possible, and what you
think about them now. Those things seem to always turn into good
conversations here.
<<Thank you all for listening to my passionate ramblings. >>
It was mushy (but sweet <g>) reading.
Thank you for writing it and sharing it here!
Sandra
<< Since last week, I have had 3 in depth conversations with
my 10 year old that have told me things about him I never knew. He
can hold conversations like a 30 year old. I think all children are
wise beyond their years so to speak and the only reason most people
don't know that about their children is that the kids are afraid to
let it out. >>
Maybe you've found this already, but one of my favorite ideas and essays is
"Leaning on a Truck," about how easy it is to talk if you're not making eye
contact and "having a talk."
http://sandradodd.com/truck
-=I will take this day by and day and try to just "shut up and
listen". -=-
It might help for you to tell them stories about when you were their age, or
about things you used to think were true or might be possible, and what you
think about them now. Those things seem to always turn into good
conversations here.
<<Thank you all for listening to my passionate ramblings. >>
It was mushy (but sweet <g>) reading.
Thank you for writing it and sharing it here!
Sandra