Ticia

This is exactly how both Raiden and Chloe are about baths. They both resist getting in, then once they are in they resist getting out! I only wash Chloe's hair once a week, but it has always been a struggle. We have had a lot of conversations about it. If we just get it washed and braided I don't have to touch her head for a week, but if we don't I have to do it everyday. The consequence if I don't is there are more tangles and it gets caught on zippers and velcro and generally bothers her. I have offered to cut it, dread it, etc, but she wants it long and so she knows what we must do; she just doesn't like the procedure ;)

How could I make hair washing more fun? I give her a dry washcloth to cover her eyes and ears with and I have a detachable shower head to rinse with. What have you all done to entice the bath? She does like stories lately (made up ones only) and this has helped, but I'm always looking for ideas.

Tweak my thinking :).

Ticia
(who is posting a picture so you can *visualize* all the hair that gets to be washed)


----- Original Message -----
From: joylyn
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:19 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Janene


yeah, and you and janene would agree on that.

But how come once she gets in I can't get her out?

Joylyn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

nellebelle

Most of my thoughts on this have come from this list and other unschooling discussions. My youngest is definitely a can't get her in/can't get her out kid! It has become much easier since I stopped insisting on baths and shampoos. I wrote a post a few days ago after she told me that she had a choice about bathing/shampooing, while her friend did not.

1.. At some point your child will want to bathe excessively. Then you will be complaining about hot water usage and other family members getting a turn in the bathroom. Enjoy that you don't have to deal with this now.
2.. Invest in *special* soap, shampoo, etc. Being frugal, I was always reluctant to buy the shampoos that appealed to my kids (cartoon character containers, L'Oreal swim shampoo, etc). When I finally gave in and bought what my dd wanted, she was happier to shampoo a little more often.
3.. Vary the format. Shower instead of bath? Bath instead of shower? Bath with sibling or parent? Get in the tub with her and let her shampoo you? Play beauty salon and shampoo in the sink?
4.. Go swimming.
5.. Let it be her idea to shampoo. Bite your tongue and do not suggest it. Sooner or later she will want to have it done.
6.. Accept that Americans are overzealous about bathing. How often does a child really need to take a bath/shampoo? We tend to think of once a week as rare, but in some parts of the world that would be frequent. (I think?)
7.. When her hair is freshly shampooed, make nice remarks about how her hair is. I love the way your hair smells with that new conditioner, or, your hair feels like silk when it's recently been washed, or, look how shiny it is.
Mary Ellen

----- Original Message ----- How could I make hair washing more fun?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joylyn

Ticia wrote:

> This is exactly how both Raiden and Chloe are about baths. They both
> resist getting in, then once they are in they resist getting out! I
> only wash Chloe's hair once a week, but it has always been a struggle.
> We have had a lot of conversations about it. If we just get it washed
> and braided I don't have to touch her head for a week, but if we don't
> I have to do it everyday. The consequence if I don't is there are more
> tangles and it gets caught on zippers and velcro and generally bothers
> her. I have offered to cut it, dread it, etc, but she wants it long
> and so she knows what we must do; she just doesn't like the procedure ;)

You could do more braids, that last longer, then not touch hair for
longer. Her hair doesn't need to be washed if it's braided, unless it
gets really dirty, or she swims. I can do the girl's hair and not wash
for weeks. I like small braids, take longer but then we go longer
between hair doing. I'm about to get her in the bath now.

>
>
> How could I make hair washing more fun? I give her a dry washcloth to
> cover her eyes and ears with and I have a detachable shower head to
> rinse with. What have you all done to entice the bath? She does like
> stories lately (made up ones only) and this has helped, but I'm always
> looking for ideas.

I take a bath with her. I have determined I'm a bath magnet. All I must
do is pour a glass of wine, grab my favorite book, and run hot water
with Lavender, and before i know it I have naked children in the tub
with me and the book is on the toilet seat. I no longer can bath with
both of them at the same time, as I used to do. This really helps when
Janene is overloaded and crying. That is ultimately what i did last
night, she had her Cats show (where she danced to the music to an
audience of mom) and then something happened and she had a breakdown and
I held her for a while but she cried and cried, so finally we took a
bath and within 2 minutes she was calm. Skin to skin contact isn't just
for babies. Then she insisted I get out so she could play.

Joylyn

>
>
> Tweak my thinking :).
>
> Ticia
> (who is posting a picture so you can *visualize* all the hair that
> gets to be washed)
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: joylyn
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:19 PM
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Janene
>
>
> yeah, and you and janene would agree on that.
>
> But how come once she gets in I can't get her out?
>
> Joylyn
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joylyn

nellebelle wrote:

> Most of my thoughts on this have come from this list and other
> unschooling discussions. My youngest is definitely a can't get her
> in/can't get her out kid! It has become much easier since I stopped
> insisting on baths and shampoos. I wrote a post a few days ago after
> she told me that she had a choice about bathing/shampooing, while her
> friend did not.
>
> 1.. At some point your child will want to bathe excessively. Then
> you will be complaining about hot water usage and other family members
> getting a turn in the bathroom. Enjoy that you don't have to deal
> with this now.
> 2.. Invest in *special* soap, shampoo, etc. Being frugal, I was
> always reluctant to buy the shampoos that appealed to my kids (cartoon
> character containers, L'Oreal swim shampoo, etc). When I finally gave
> in and bought what my dd wanted, she was happier to shampoo a little
> more often.
> 3.. Vary the format. Shower instead of bath? Bath instead of
> shower? Bath with sibling or parent? Get in the tub with her and let
> her shampoo you? Play beauty salon and shampoo in the sink?
> 4.. Go swimming.
> 5.. Let it be her idea to shampoo. Bite your tongue and do not
> suggest it. Sooner or later she will want to have it done.
> 6.. Accept that Americans are overzealous about bathing. How often
> does a child really need to take a bath/shampoo? We tend to think of
> once a week as rare, but in some parts of the world that would be
> frequent. (I think?)

I agree, but this is even more true for our children (ticia and mine) as
they are half black (one side is white the other is black, they look
like those guys from the original star trek (but my left side is white
and his left side is white) . Ok, all kidding aside, black folk's hair
does not need to be washed as often as white folk hair. 2-3 weeks is
fine, unless it's down, then you wash it to help the combing process,
which really sucks.

Joylyn

>
> 7.. When her hair is freshly shampooed, make nice remarks about how
> her hair is. I love the way your hair smells with that new
> conditioner, or, your hair feels like silk when it's recently been
> washed, or, look how shiny it is.
> Mary Ellen
>
> ----- Original Message ----- How could I make hair washing more fun?
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/SIG=12cl9qd84/M=267637.4116732.5333197.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=1705542111:HM/EXP=1073950979/A=1853619/R=0/*http://www.netflix.com/Default?mqso=60178356&partid=4116732>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> I have offered to cut it, dread it, etc, but she wants it long and so she
> knows what we must do; she just doesn't like the procedure ;)
>

I would think she'll come around on her own. My daughter had beautiful long
hair with corkscrew curls running down her back. We also only wash hair about
once a week. We used to have crying fits over combing her hair. I suggested
cutting it, but didn't push. Finally she said to me one morning "Mommy,
let's just cut it." So we did. She was 3 1/2. Now that she's a year older, it's
grown a bit and she still complains about the combing, but likes having
barrettes in her hair. Her brother enjoys his hair long and rarely needs combing -
it's thicker and wavier and doesn't tangle. My daughter gets conditioner, my
son doesn't. It's their hair, they can wear it how they want.

They still don't like having their hair washed, but they like to lie down in
the tub and rinse mostly by themselves. That makes them more in control than
sitting up with a washcloth over their eyes. You may have to do the finishing
touches to get all the soap out, but it is more like swimming than washing.

My kids love the bath and love the swimming pool. I count the swimming pool
as a bath if they are getting a bit stinky. We don't push either option.
Except now that I'm due any day, smells are getting to me. But then, so is
everything else. I'll just take them swimming tomorrow whether or not they decide
to bathe tonight. That way I can float and be weightless. It's not pretty,
but it feels good!

Good luck with the hair. To me, it's like food. Not a battle I'm willing to
fight.

Elizabeth in IL


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joylyn

I would totally agree with you if it weren't for the fact that again,
white hair is different than black hair. Not combing is really not an
option, unless you are going to dred it. Which is possible in our
house, but my girls love their lovely hair, so therefore they know it
must be, occassionally, washed, combed, and braided. Then the braids
are kept in for as long as possible before we do it all again.

Joylyn

ejcrewe@... wrote:

>
>
> > I have offered to cut it, dread it, etc, but she wants it long and
> so she
> > knows what we must do; she just doesn't like the procedure ;)
> >
>
> I would think she'll come around on her own. My daughter had
> beautiful long
> hair with corkscrew curls running down her back. We also only wash
> hair about
> once a week. We used to have crying fits over combing her hair. I
> suggested
> cutting it, but didn't push. Finally she said to me one morning "Mommy,
> let's just cut it." So we did. She was 3 1/2. Now that she's a year
> older, it's
> grown a bit and she still complains about the combing, but likes having
> barrettes in her hair. Her brother enjoys his hair long and rarely
> needs combing -
> it's thicker and wavier and doesn't tangle. My daughter gets
> conditioner, my
> son doesn't. It's their hair, they can wear it how they want.
>
> They still don't like having their hair washed, but they like to lie
> down in
> the tub and rinse mostly by themselves. That makes them more in
> control than
> sitting up with a washcloth over their eyes. You may have to do the
> finishing
> touches to get all the soap out, but it is more like swimming than
> washing.
>
> My kids love the bath and love the swimming pool. I count the
> swimming pool
> as a bath if they are getting a bit stinky. We don't push either
> option.
> Except now that I'm due any day, smells are getting to me. But then,
> so is
> everything else. I'll just take them swimming tomorrow whether or not
> they decide
> to bathe tonight. That way I can float and be weightless. It's not
> pretty,
> but it feels good!
>
> Good luck with the hair. To me, it's like food. Not a battle I'm
> willing to
> fight.
>
> Elizabeth in IL
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Julie Solich

> How could I make hair washing more fun? I give her a dry washcloth to
cover her eyes and ears with and I have a detachable shower head to rinse
with. What have you all done to entice the bath? She does like stories
lately (made up ones only) and this has helped, but I'm always looking for
ideas.

Tweak my thinking :).

Ticia

Mia and I have played hairdressers. She loves it!!!! Get yourself set up
(you have the detachable shower head)and have an appointment book and phone
(even music and magazines) and have fun. I blow dried her hair when it was
washed and she paid me and her hair was beautifully clean and no tears!

Jules

Sylvia Toyama

I saw someone else suggested shampooing in the sink. My Mom did this for me and my sister when we were kids. Our hair was long, and it was virtually impossible for her to rinse our hair with us lying down in the bathtub. I absolutely can't tolerate water in my ears and my sister was afraid of water in her face, so the sink was a perfect answer. When we were younger (and too short to reach the sink leaning back from a chair) Mama would have us lie on our backs the countertop with our head over the sink. That way she could use the sink spray to rinse, giving us clean water for rinses and quick temperature control. By the time we were 9 or so, we had come to prefer showers, and she was relieved of shampoo duty.

With her head leaning back over the sink, it guarantees no water in her face or ears, if you're careful in guiding the sprayer.

Of course, if her issue is with having her hair/head handled at all -- as the situ was with my oldest son -- this may not solve the problem. He didn't insist on long hair until he was 16, so I didn't push shampooing as a major hygiene issue. He still prefers the finger-combed look and didn't wash his hair as often as I would have chosen, but it is his hair and still looks great most days. He's admitted he doesn't like to comb or brush his hair, but insists on wearing it long. Somehow he's solved that problem.

Sylvia


---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joylyn

Sylvia Toyama wrote:

> I saw someone else suggested shampooing in the sink. My Mom did this
> for me and my sister when we were kids. Our hair was long, and it was
> virtually impossible for her to rinse our hair with us lying down in
> the bathtub. I absolutely can't tolerate water in my ears and my
> sister was afraid of water in her face, so the sink was a perfect
> answer. When we were younger (and too short to reach the sink leaning
> back from a chair) Mama would have us lie on our backs the countertop
> with our head over the sink. That way she could use the sink spray to
> rinse, giving us clean water for rinses and quick temperature
> control. By the time we were 9 or so, we had come to prefer showers,
> and she was relieved of shampoo duty.
>
> With her head leaning back over the sink, it guarantees no water in
> her face or ears, if you're careful in guiding the sprayer.

We've done this.

But we have a sprayer in our bath, and it works great. My kids are not
afraid of water in their faces at all, in fact, they ask for the spray
of water in their face. They like to drink out of the spray, and it's
the only time they get unfiltered water.

I just finished Janene's hair. She has four braids, with crocked parts
(on purpose crooked, cause it's easier) and we did it all in the tub,
cause it's easier to comb hair when it's really wet and has conditioner
on it. Ticia, this is one really good trick, if you aren't doing too
many braids.

Joylyn

>
>
> Of course, if her issue is with having her hair/head handled at all --
> as the situ was with my oldest son -- this may not solve the problem.
> He didn't insist on long hair until he was 16, so I didn't push
> shampooing as a major hygiene issue. He still prefers the
> finger-combed look and didn't wash his hair as often as I would have
> chosen, but it is his hair and still looks great most days. He's
> admitted he doesn't like to comb or brush his hair, but insists on
> wearing it long. Somehow he's solved that problem.
>
> Sylvia
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/SIG=12c80g9ju/M=267637.4116732.5333197.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=1705542111:HM/EXP=1073962217/A=1853618/R=0/*http://www.netflix.com/Default?mqso=60178338&partid=4116732>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

If you have enough room on the counter in the kitchen and your child is still
kinda small, let her lie on the counter with her hair in the sink. You could
use a sprayer, but a dipper is really soothing. Roll a towel up for a
pillow.

Some bathrooms are big enough for that. Sometimes Holly has kind balanced on
the toilet seat, feet on the counter, back on the toilet, head toward the tub
for a spray rinse of something (koolaid coloring-attempt, I think we did that
that time).

Sometimes when we go camping people will wash other people's hair. Maybe if
you think of how you could wash it outside, you could figure some combination
of a place to lie down or lean back, and buckets or...

Sandra