[email protected]

In a message dated 1/10/2004 9:25:24 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
Sorry for the lengthy soap opera. But I thought it would help answer some
questions.
*******************
One thing occurred to me as I read your description of what Dad did in honor
of his wife, and the attitude of everyone about her.

I kept reading how perfect she was: homeschooling mom, creative, strong,
mature, wonderful. She's a saint.

But she's NOT that perfect. She died and left them, and the kids are really,
really pissed and feel guilty because they're pissed. They can't act pissed at
mom because it wasn't her fault and she's perfect. So they have to be okay
because Mom would've wanted it that way.

I think if they can start talking with a counselor it'll help.

Kathryn


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Sylvia Toyama

But she's NOT that perfect. She died and left them, and the kids are really,
really pissed and feel guilty because they're pissed. They can't act pissed at
mom because it wasn't her fault and she's perfect. So they have to be okay
because Mom would've wanted it that way.

I think if they can start talking with a counselor it'll help.

Kathryn
*******

that's a really good point, Kathryn. My grandfather had been dead 20 years before my Mom realized she was still angry with him for dying. I believe the youngest sister is still angry at him for that -- she almost never speaks of him, and has huge trust issues, alonf with a genuine deep-seated scorn for men. The only memory I've heard her share is of the day he died, and how angry her Mom was that he was dead.

Sylvia




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