Ren

The dog and cat thing was QUITE mild compared to other things I've seen.


Yeah...definitely. I didn't think anyone was reacting in an extreme manner enough to warrant a "lighten up" that's all. Different sense of humor I suppose.
I see the way Trevor pulls away now, and I know that most of the time if I just ask him "Can I give you a hug, it seems like you need one" he nods his head and suddenly all his bravado fades away. They're still the same person, just going through another phase in life. I wouldn't like someone using an analogy that I'm like a loyal, loving dog most of the time but when my period hits I become aloof like a cat. I don't think Trevor would enjoy the analogy either...I guess that's how I try to analyze things, how it looks to my child and how it would make them feel.

Ren

averyschmidt

> I see the way Trevor pulls away now, and I know that most of the
time if I just ask him "Can I give you a hug, it seems like you need
one" he nods his head and suddenly all his bravado fades away.
They're still the same person, just going through another phase in
life.

This is so true.
Just today my 10yo had some friends over, and they were all
skateboarding out front. He'd had a sleep over the night before and
was pretty tired, and I could sense that he was getting touchy and
grumpy with his friends and needed some input, some mothering, some
SOMEthing.
When he came inside I had a quick talk with him about thinking
before speaking or acting, and then I was overcome with this urge to
hold him. So I said "do you need a hug?" and pulled him on my lap
in a sort of goofy/giggly way and rocked him and started to sing to
him a favorite lullaby song from when he was a toddler. I was
pretending he was still my baby in a goofy sort of way. He got all
smiley and happy and pretended to struggle, and then when he finally
got away to go back outside he had a huge grin on his face just like
a rainbow came out, and he was better with his friends after that.
I've been thinking about it... it's almost like he's torn between a
part of him pulling away and a part of him needing that physical
nurturing, and I've realized that pretending that I'm kidding with
him allows him that "babying" and at the same time lets him see
himself as "too old" for that. (Since I'm pretending to be the
needy Mom and he's pretending to struggle). It's difficult to put
into words, but I think it's my close connection with him that
allows me to perceive the non-verbal stuff so well.

As far as that cat/dog thing being either funny or sadly reflective
of society... I think some jokes can be both.
Does anyone remember the commercial a few years ago- I think it was
for Staples or a store like it- about back to school supplies? It
aired at the end of the summer, and consisted of the song "It's the
most wonderful time of the year..." (a part of the Christmas song)
and the Dad was all happy and jauntily tossing school supplies into
the shopping cart while the kids pouted behind him. While one part
of me thought it was a very, very sad reflection (I don't need to
explain to any of you why), at the same time I could see why the
average Joe would find it amusing.

Patti