aicitticia

I have just had an ah ha moment this week. I love these :)

I have been binging on Holt books, unschooling lists and stimulating
conversation this last week. This list has provided some great
shifts in my thinking lately. I *thought* I have had a good idea on
what "unschooling" means. Well I don't think I ever really *GOT* it
before this last week. I have read a ton, I have listened to other
unschoolers talk, and I have understood in *theory* what it is. Well
I have been missing some BIG points. Mainly, that is is hugely a
continuation on what attachment parenting or gentle parenting is.

I have admittedly fallen off the wagon of "gentle parenting" by my
own standards since my ds has been born. My patience has suffered,
my kindness has been lacking, and I have become the monster mommy at
times that I swore I would NEVER be. I don't know how or when this
happened, but I've dissapointed my self with barking orders and go
to bed feeling so unhappy. I really needed this list to kind of kick
my but kindly back to the way I had been...a more mindful parent.

Chloe (4)and I have really spent some quality time together the last
couple of nights especially and she actually shared with me lots of
her feelings which we haven't shared since my son was born. I really
have felt that she has been distant from me. We always have gotten
along so well and really truely enjoyed each others company. For
example, she will never tell me what she does when she is away from
me. She never wants to tell me or show me what she has "learned" at
gymnastics or ballet. Last night she stayed up really late with me
and she just shared so much with me. This last year we have been
like enemies at times, always working against eachother or taking
opposite views more often then not. I feel like our relationship had
started to progress into what my own mother and I were/ are like
very antagonizing to eachother; my mom and I are very close on an
intellectual level, but VERY distant on an emotional level.

Someone had mentioned that the breaking down of the posts are
beneficial mostly for the silent list members and not always as
helpful to the original poster. I think you got that right! I have
been like a sponge this last week and it feels GREAT.

Thank you,
Ticia

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In a message dated 10/24/2003 3:34:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ticiamama@... writes:
Well I don't think I ever really *GOT* it
before this last week. I have read a ton, I have listened to other
unschoolers talk, and I have understood in *theory* what it is. Well
I have been missing some BIG points.
Ticia, I'm glad you've had some good ah ha moments. I like to say I view
life through unschooling lenses, and darn it, I outgrow those lenses alot and
have to change them!

Sometimes I quit reading and get off the lists for a bit, practice what I've
been learning. Sometimes I can't get enough reading.

I do know when things aren't working, a super dose of togetherness does the
trick. My favorite thing to do right now is to find an empty park (no
distractions) and just PLAY with my kids. They love it and I feel great about being a
parent again.

Happy reading!
Leslie


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