Any suggestions appreciated
J. Stauffer
Hi,
I have a concern about my son Zach who is 10. He is the second of 5
children and has an issue with food. Now the only rule we have about food
at our house is that if you take it, please eat it. Food is a major budget
item here so wasting it would be a problem for me. All of the kids except
Zach eat fairly well rounded meals and snacks and are proportionate with
their height and weight.
Here is the issue. Ever since Zach came off the bottle he has been thin.
He is often too busy to eat, prefering to eat small "on the go" fare
throughout the day. I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheese
sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him. As he has gotten
older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high glycemic
food as his entire diet. Now we do have some snacks stuff in the house,
Pepsi, potato chips, cookies, etc. because everyone else enjoys those in
moderation.
I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He is
very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
worried.
I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk to him.
It just seems to be spiraling down hill.
I've asked him to make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I
made sure to have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days
and then said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
Insights desperately needed.
Julie S.
I have a concern about my son Zach who is 10. He is the second of 5
children and has an issue with food. Now the only rule we have about food
at our house is that if you take it, please eat it. Food is a major budget
item here so wasting it would be a problem for me. All of the kids except
Zach eat fairly well rounded meals and snacks and are proportionate with
their height and weight.
Here is the issue. Ever since Zach came off the bottle he has been thin.
He is often too busy to eat, prefering to eat small "on the go" fare
throughout the day. I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheese
sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him. As he has gotten
older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high glycemic
food as his entire diet. Now we do have some snacks stuff in the house,
Pepsi, potato chips, cookies, etc. because everyone else enjoys those in
moderation.
I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He is
very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
worried.
I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk to him.
It just seems to be spiraling down hill.
I've asked him to make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I
made sure to have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days
and then said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
Insights desperately needed.
Julie S.
Angela Lofton
As bad as it sounds, you may have to take all the sugar and white stuff out
of the house. While I'm no health nut sugar is addictive. He may have a
few days of withdrawl, as my all of you.
Angela
of the house. While I'm no health nut sugar is addictive. He may have a
few days of withdrawl, as my all of you.
Angela
----- Original Message -----
From: "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2003 3:18 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Any suggestions appreciated
> Hi,
>
> I have a concern about my son Zach who is 10. He is the second of 5
> children and has an issue with food. Now the only rule we have about food
> at our house is that if you take it, please eat it. Food is a major
budget
> item here so wasting it would be a problem for me. All of the kids except
> Zach eat fairly well rounded meals and snacks and are proportionate with
> their height and weight.
>
> Here is the issue. Ever since Zach came off the bottle he has been thin.
> He is often too busy to eat, prefering to eat small "on the go" fare
> throughout the day. I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheese
> sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him. As he has
gotten
> older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high
glycemic
> food as his entire diet. Now we do have some snacks stuff in the house,
> Pepsi, potato chips, cookies, etc. because everyone else enjoys those in
> moderation.
>
> I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He is
> very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10
years
> of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
> worried.
>
> I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk to
him.
> It just seems to be spiraling down hill.
>
> I've asked him to make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I
> made sure to have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days
> and then said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
> dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
>
> Insights desperately needed.
>
> Julie S.
>
>
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
Holly
Wow. I really feel for you in this situation.
I think what would do is talk with your other children about their brother's condition and explain that there will not be any snack foods around anymore. His health is more important than treats for the other children, and perhaps they could have a special treat when they are out alone with you, away from their brother.
With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods. Perhaps you can learn to make things that are treats, but with little or no sugar. If he will not eat anything new, or continues to eat only sugar...he will end up sick and/or hospitalized either way, it's just a question of when. I don't mean to sound harsh, please understand that. Your son is obviously ill already and really needs help. Perhaps not having the illness-causing food available will break the sugar addiction. He can't get it if you don't provide it, and he obviously can't control himself. So the first thing I would do is eliminate the problem.
I think you need to think of it like this - You wouldn't buy my child cigarettes and worry about his worsening athsma. You wouldn't buy him liquor and then worry about his liver count. But you are buying him junk food and then wondering why he is sick. DON'T BUY THE JUNK.
If you go to the library and search under nutrition for children, you should find some titles that can help you. I am a librarian (and at work right now looking this up as I type) and some of the titlesI found include:
1. The glucose revolution pocket guide to the glycemic index and healthy kids / Heather Gilbertson ...[et al.] ; adapted by Johanna Burani and Linda Rao.
2.The parent's guide to childhood eating disorders /Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto
3.Healthy eating for life for children / Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
4. Minsky, Bonnie C. Our children's health: America's kids in nutritional crisis and what we can do to help them.
5. Brackenridge, Betty Page. Sweet kids. 2nd ed. Alexandria, Va.: American Diabetes Association. 2002.
Sweet kids is actually about diabetic children, but seemed to include sugar-free recipes and how to please an entire family while avoiding sugar, which sounds like it might really help you. All these titles are current - c.2000 or later.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
~Holly~
---------------------------------
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The New Yahoo! Shopping - with improved product search
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I think what would do is talk with your other children about their brother's condition and explain that there will not be any snack foods around anymore. His health is more important than treats for the other children, and perhaps they could have a special treat when they are out alone with you, away from their brother.
With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods. Perhaps you can learn to make things that are treats, but with little or no sugar. If he will not eat anything new, or continues to eat only sugar...he will end up sick and/or hospitalized either way, it's just a question of when. I don't mean to sound harsh, please understand that. Your son is obviously ill already and really needs help. Perhaps not having the illness-causing food available will break the sugar addiction. He can't get it if you don't provide it, and he obviously can't control himself. So the first thing I would do is eliminate the problem.
I think you need to think of it like this - You wouldn't buy my child cigarettes and worry about his worsening athsma. You wouldn't buy him liquor and then worry about his liver count. But you are buying him junk food and then wondering why he is sick. DON'T BUY THE JUNK.
If you go to the library and search under nutrition for children, you should find some titles that can help you. I am a librarian (and at work right now looking this up as I type) and some of the titlesI found include:
1. The glucose revolution pocket guide to the glycemic index and healthy kids / Heather Gilbertson ...[et al.] ; adapted by Johanna Burani and Linda Rao.
2.The parent's guide to childhood eating disorders /Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto
3.Healthy eating for life for children / Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
4. Minsky, Bonnie C. Our children's health: America's kids in nutritional crisis and what we can do to help them.
5. Brackenridge, Betty Page. Sweet kids. 2nd ed. Alexandria, Va.: American Diabetes Association. 2002.
Sweet kids is actually about diabetic children, but seemed to include sugar-free recipes and how to please an entire family while avoiding sugar, which sounds like it might really help you. All these titles are current - c.2000 or later.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
~Holly~
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Shopping - with improved product search
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Norma
--- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@g...>
wrote:
<>I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk
to him. It just seems to be spiraling down hill. I've asked him to
make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I made sure to
have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days and then
said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
Insights desperately needed.<>
Julie S.:
Has he been tested for type I diabetes? This actually sounds more
like anorexia, which is a control thing, often one of the only things
that some children feel they can control is what they put in their
bodies, or what they allow to stay in their bodies in some cases.
But if it's just thin you are worried about, and the doctors have
given him a clean bill of health, then I would cease to worry. Thin
is good. Most doctors will tell you that. Unless there is evidence
of some other health problems, like bone problems, or teeth problems,
or other signs of malnutrition, then let him eat cake! In a manner
of speaking, of course. In homeopathic medicine we use these kinds
of aversions and cravings as symptoms that guide us to the proper
constitutional remedy for that child. But thin is really not a big
problem by itself if other health issues have been ruled out. Every
kid will eventually find his or her own nutritional balance.
Most agree that making a big deal out of it often exacerbates the
problem. But if it is anorexia then you need to deal with that. And
forcing never works with that. Find a good homeopath.
Norma
wrote:
<>I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk
to him. It just seems to be spiraling down hill. I've asked him to
make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I made sure to
have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days and then
said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
Insights desperately needed.<>
Julie S.:
Has he been tested for type I diabetes? This actually sounds more
like anorexia, which is a control thing, often one of the only things
that some children feel they can control is what they put in their
bodies, or what they allow to stay in their bodies in some cases.
But if it's just thin you are worried about, and the doctors have
given him a clean bill of health, then I would cease to worry. Thin
is good. Most doctors will tell you that. Unless there is evidence
of some other health problems, like bone problems, or teeth problems,
or other signs of malnutrition, then let him eat cake! In a manner
of speaking, of course. In homeopathic medicine we use these kinds
of aversions and cravings as symptoms that guide us to the proper
constitutional remedy for that child. But thin is really not a big
problem by itself if other health issues have been ruled out. Every
kid will eventually find his or her own nutritional balance.
Most agree that making a big deal out of it often exacerbates the
problem. But if it is anorexia then you need to deal with that. And
forcing never works with that. Find a good homeopath.
Norma
lamaribelle
Have you read How to Get Your Kid to Eat... But Not Too Much
By Ellyn Satter? I think you would find it helpful. It is always so
much more difficult to deal with eating when a child doesn't fall
within the *normal* range of weight or health. I assume that medical
condiditons have been ruled out, since you mention the doc and
nutritionist.
As hard as it will be, you might have to just bite your tongue and
feed him the way you feed your other children. Pressuring him to eat
will not help. He might just be a genetically small, skinny person.
Here is a link to an article by Satter:
http://www.radiancemagazine.com/normal.html
Mary Ellen
By Ellyn Satter? I think you would find it helpful. It is always so
much more difficult to deal with eating when a child doesn't fall
within the *normal* range of weight or health. I assume that medical
condiditons have been ruled out, since you mention the doc and
nutritionist.
As hard as it will be, you might have to just bite your tongue and
feed him the way you feed your other children. Pressuring him to eat
will not help. He might just be a genetically small, skinny person.
Here is a link to an article by Satter:
http://www.radiancemagazine.com/normal.html
Mary Ellen
M. Dalrymple-Lepore
Holly reminded me of something-- my mom never kept junk in the house,
but looking back I realized that I would make myself grits with 1/2 cup
of sugar and tablespoons of butter. To this day my favorite foods
involve lots of bread! The only thing that has helped me is to realize
that I feel like crap if I eat nothing but bread stuffs all day-- I
never knew that was why I fell asleep everytime I ate pasta . . .
I wonder if you brought it up like, "Will you try this experiment for
me?" and then fed him low-glycemic foods for a day (week?) -- maybe he
would see a difference in how he felt and decide to adjust things? Or
maybe have a whole family experiment, and everyone can compare notes?
Maybe he wouldn't decide to make any changes now, but at least if he
had the opportunity to see how it makes him feel, he always has the
option to use the knowledge (as opposed to me, who didn't get the
knowledge until I was 30). . .
Melanie
but looking back I realized that I would make myself grits with 1/2 cup
of sugar and tablespoons of butter. To this day my favorite foods
involve lots of bread! The only thing that has helped me is to realize
that I feel like crap if I eat nothing but bread stuffs all day-- I
never knew that was why I fell asleep everytime I ate pasta . . .
I wonder if you brought it up like, "Will you try this experiment for
me?" and then fed him low-glycemic foods for a day (week?) -- maybe he
would see a difference in how he felt and decide to adjust things? Or
maybe have a whole family experiment, and everyone can compare notes?
Maybe he wouldn't decide to make any changes now, but at least if he
had the opportunity to see how it makes him feel, he always has the
option to use the knowledge (as opposed to me, who didn't get the
knowledge until I was 30). . .
Melanie
On Tuesday, October 21, 2003, at 08:09 PM, Holly wrote:
> Wow. I really feel for you in this situation.
>
> I think what would do is talk with your other children about their
> brother's condition and explain that there will not be any snack foods
> around anymore. His health is more important than treats for the
> other children, and perhaps they could have a special treat when they
> are out alone with you, away from their brother.
>
> With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods. Perhaps
> you can learn to make things that are treats, but with little or no
> sugar. If he will not eat anything new, or continues to eat only
> sugar...he will end up sick and/or hospitalized either way, it's just
> a question of when. I don't mean to sound harsh, please understand
> that. Your son is obviously ill already and really needs help.
> Perhaps not having the illness-causing food available will break the
> sugar addiction. He can't get it if you don't provide it, and he
> obviously can't control himself. So the first thing I would do is
> eliminate the problem.
>
> I think you need to think of it like this - You wouldn't buy my child
> cigarettes and worry about his worsening athsma. You wouldn't buy him
> liquor and then worry about his liver count. But you are buying him
> junk food and then wondering why he is sick. DON'T BUY THE JUNK.
>
> If you go to the library and search under nutrition for children, you
> should find some titles that can help you. I am a librarian (and at
> work right now looking this up as I type) and some of the titlesI
> found include:
>
>
> 1. The glucose revolution pocket guide to the glycemic index and
> healthy kids / Heather Gilbertson ...[et al.] ; adapted by Johanna
> Burani and Linda Rao.
>
> 2.The parent's guide to childhood eating disorders /Marcia Herrin and
> Nancy Matsumoto
>
> 3.Healthy eating for life for children / Physicians Committee for
> Responsible Medicine
>
> 4. Minsky, Bonnie C. Our children's health: America's kids in
> nutritional crisis and what we can do to help them.
>
> 5. Brackenridge, Betty Page. Sweet kids. 2nd ed. Alexandria, Va.:
> American Diabetes Association. 2002.
>
>
> Sweet kids is actually about diabetic children, but seemed to include
> sugar-free recipes and how to please an entire family while avoiding
> sugar, which sounds like it might really help you. All these titles
> are current - c.2000 or later.
>
> GOOD LUCK!!!!
>
>
> ~Holly~
>
Pam Hartley
At his age, just hitting puberty, is when he has to be the one in charge of
his food more and more, not less, IMHO.
Does he have an interest in learning to cook? If you had ready-to-heat
plastic frozen bags of homemade enchiladas or lasagna or spaghetti would he
take the time to nuke them, or notice the smell if you did one yourself and
put it on offer? That kind of thing can be reheated multiple times if need
be, no waste if he doesn't feel like eating it.
Or he may just be predisposed to look like he looks right now, regardless of
his diet. When I was a teen I looked like Twiggy on a bad day, and I was in
a "two vegetables with dinner and clear your plate" household. Didn't make
much difference to how I looked.
Pam
----------
his food more and more, not less, IMHO.
Does he have an interest in learning to cook? If you had ready-to-heat
plastic frozen bags of homemade enchiladas or lasagna or spaghetti would he
take the time to nuke them, or notice the smell if you did one yourself and
put it on offer? That kind of thing can be reheated multiple times if need
be, no waste if he doesn't feel like eating it.
Or he may just be predisposed to look like he looks right now, regardless of
his diet. When I was a teen I looked like Twiggy on a bad day, and I was in
a "two vegetables with dinner and clear your plate" household. Didn't make
much difference to how I looked.
Pam
----------
>From: "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@...>
>To: <[email protected]>
>Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Any suggestions appreciated
>Date: Tue, Oct 21, 2003, 2:18 PM
>
> Hi,
>
> I have a concern about my son Zach who is 10. He is the second of 5
> children and has an issue with food. Now the only rule we have about food
> at our house is that if you take it, please eat it. Food is a major budget
> item here so wasting it would be a problem for me. All of the kids except
> Zach eat fairly well rounded meals and snacks and are proportionate with
> their height and weight.
>
> Here is the issue. Ever since Zach came off the bottle he has been thin.
> He is often too busy to eat, prefering to eat small "on the go" fare
> throughout the day. I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheese
> sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him. As he has gotten
> older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high glycemic
> food as his entire diet. Now we do have some snacks stuff in the house,
> Pepsi, potato chips, cookies, etc. because everyone else enjoys those in
> moderation.
>
> I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He is
> very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
> of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
> worried.
>
> I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk to him.
> It just seems to be spiraling down hill.
>
> I've asked him to make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I
> made sure to have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days
> and then said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
> dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
>
> Insights desperately needed.
>
> Julie S.
>
>
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
joylyn
I think my first stop would be a counselor. Someone who is keen on
homeschooling (unschooling) and respectful parenting.
I am also thinking something like anorexia.
I would stop buying so much junk. Instead I might give the kids a "food
allowance" and let them spend it as they liked, with Zach needing some
special consideration.
I do see this as a medical issue. He's not healthy, you say. If he was
healthy and just thin, that'd be fine. But you said " He is very small
for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out."
This concerns me. I don't usually think vits are a good idea, but in
this case, I think this might be a good thing to do.
My 8 year old is 53 inches, and weighs more. If your family is not
small.....
Let us know what you decide to do.
Personally I don't buy a lot of junk type food. We have limited money
for food and buying junk just doesn't seem to be smart. Each kid gets
to pick out a treat when they shop, but it's likely to be blueberries as
it is to be chips. A bit of each. 7up is for when we have sick
tummies, sodas are what we have when we go out, or at parties, not
regularly. Lexie asked once why we didn't buy sodas and chips and
cookies and have htem all the time, and I told her I'd rather spend my
extra money on books. That was all she needed to hear!
Joylyn
J. Stauffer wrote:
homeschooling (unschooling) and respectful parenting.
I am also thinking something like anorexia.
I would stop buying so much junk. Instead I might give the kids a "food
allowance" and let them spend it as they liked, with Zach needing some
special consideration.
I do see this as a medical issue. He's not healthy, you say. If he was
healthy and just thin, that'd be fine. But you said " He is very small
for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out."
This concerns me. I don't usually think vits are a good idea, but in
this case, I think this might be a good thing to do.
My 8 year old is 53 inches, and weighs more. If your family is not
small.....
Let us know what you decide to do.
Personally I don't buy a lot of junk type food. We have limited money
for food and buying junk just doesn't seem to be smart. Each kid gets
to pick out a treat when they shop, but it's likely to be blueberries as
it is to be chips. A bit of each. 7up is for when we have sick
tummies, sodas are what we have when we go out, or at parties, not
regularly. Lexie asked once why we didn't buy sodas and chips and
cookies and have htem all the time, and I told her I'd rather spend my
extra money on books. That was all she needed to hear!
Joylyn
J. Stauffer wrote:
> Hi,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> I have a concern about my son Zach who is 10. He is the second of 5
> children and has an issue with food. Now the only rule we have about food
> at our house is that if you take it, please eat it. Food is a major
> budget
> item here so wasting it would be a problem for me. All of the kids except
> Zach eat fairly well rounded meals and snacks and are proportionate with
> their height and weight.
>
> Here is the issue. Ever since Zach came off the bottle he has been thin.
> He is often too busy to eat, prefering to eat small "on the go" fare
> throughout the day. I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheese
> sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him. As he has
> gotten
> older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high
> glycemic
> food as his entire diet. Now we do have some snacks stuff in the house,
> Pepsi, potato chips, cookies, etc. because everyone else enjoys those in
> moderation.
>
> I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He is
> very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10
> years
> of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
> worried.
>
> I've talked to him, had doctors talk to him, had nutritionists talk to
> him.
> It just seems to be spiraling down hill.
>
> I've asked him to make a list of foods he would eat if I cooked them. I
> made sure to have at least one at each meal. He ate for a couple of days
> and then said he wasn't hungry for that and didn't eat. Within an hour of
> dinner, he had Pepsi and a bowl of Rice Krispies (half full of sugar).
>
> Insights desperately needed.
>
> Julie S.
>
>
>
>
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Fetteroll
on 10/21/03 5:18 PM, J. Stauffer at jnjstau@... wrote:
If you're concerned about food waste, they could be snacks that you're
willing to finish. Maybe you could enlist the help of your other kids to see
if they wouldn't mind finishing a particular snack you're about to make if
Zach won't finish it.
seeking an efficient way to get them.
like the pills.
Joyce
> I try to keep lots of nutritious things, like cheeseDo you bring the food to him? You could take him snacks throughout the day.
> sticks, fruit, goldfish crackers, etc. available for him.
If you're concerned about food waste, they could be snacks that you're
willing to finish. Maybe you could enlist the help of your other kids to see
if they wouldn't mind finishing a particular snack you're about to make if
Zach won't finish it.
> As he has gottenPart may be gearing up for puberty. His body needs more calories so it's
> older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high glycemic
> food as his entire diet.
seeking an efficient way to get them.
> I wouldn't have a problem if I wasn't worried about Zach's health. He isIs he getting vitamins? They have gummy worm and bear vitamins if he does't
> very small for his age (53 inches) and extremely skinny (53 lbs) at 10 years
> of age!!! His hair is listless, the veins on his arms stick out. I'm
> worried.
like the pills.
Joyce
Aileen Bath
Hi --
Just to chime in my own view.....
I come from the "tall and skinny" side of the family. When I was younger this meant that you could see my veins easily, I could gross friends out by breathing in deep and showing my bony ribs...oh -- and my poor mother had to drive two towns over to the sears where they carried slim sizes. I've always been able to eat what I want and not gain -- high metabolism.
My youngest brother is also tall and skinny. When he was younger, one of the few things he would eat was hot dogs. I spoke with him last week and was absolutely flabergasted when he informed me that he shops at a local Health Food store, buys soy milk....and ultimately has diversified his diet!
I know you have real concerns about your sons diet.....but I do want to caution you re: the label "anorexia". Not all super skinny kids are anorexic....many skinny people simply have high metabolisms and burn up their food at a different rate.
Having said that, a child needs to eat more than junk food. My dd loves sweets, but we encourage her to have "real" food first and to save to candy and soda for later. If all she were eating was junk, I wouldn't buy it.
Aileen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Just to chime in my own view.....
I come from the "tall and skinny" side of the family. When I was younger this meant that you could see my veins easily, I could gross friends out by breathing in deep and showing my bony ribs...oh -- and my poor mother had to drive two towns over to the sears where they carried slim sizes. I've always been able to eat what I want and not gain -- high metabolism.
My youngest brother is also tall and skinny. When he was younger, one of the few things he would eat was hot dogs. I spoke with him last week and was absolutely flabergasted when he informed me that he shops at a local Health Food store, buys soy milk....and ultimately has diversified his diet!
I know you have real concerns about your sons diet.....but I do want to caution you re: the label "anorexia". Not all super skinny kids are anorexic....many skinny people simply have high metabolisms and burn up their food at a different rate.
Having said that, a child needs to eat more than junk food. My dd loves sweets, but we encourage her to have "real" food first and to save to candy and soda for later. If all she were eating was junk, I wouldn't buy it.
Aileen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>I'd say not to worry as much about the sugar and carbs but focus on the
>
> > As he has gotten
> > older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high glycemic
> > food as his entire diet.
>
>Part may be gearing up for puberty. His body needs more calories so it's
>seeking an efficient way to get them.
good fats and protein. Add rather than subtract. Does he like avocado?
Salmon? Nuts? See if you can sprinkle ground flax seed (store in the fridge
after grinding in the blender - goes rancid easily) on something he
likes. If you don't use too much, it just adds a bit of a nutty flavour
and a tiny bit of crunch.
Tia
nellebelle
>>>>With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods.>>>>And whenever he has the opportunity, he will gorge himself on the foods that are being restricted at home. He will not learn anything in the long run about making appropriate choices for himself.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nellebelle
>>>He's not healthy, you say>>>>The email didn't say the boy is not healthy. It mentioned her son being seen by a doctor and a nutritionist, but did not say there were any diagnosed health conditions.
Being small for one's age and being thin are not necessarily indications of health problems. I was the smallest person in my class all the way through elementary school. Someone has to be the smallest. We can only all be above average in Lake Woebegone.
One of the things I liked about Ellyn Satter's book, is that she discusses the FACT that human body types vary. Some people are thin and wiry, some are round and pudgy. This is normal. Children especially go through various stages as they grow and they will not always remain as they were while children. There are some things I don't like about her book as well, especially the title "how to Get Your Kid to Eat...But not Too Much. The title sounds like the parent's goal is to "get your kid to eat" but if you read the book, you'll find that her point is for parents to realize and accept that they cannot control their children's eating. She discusses the psychology of eating and shares case studies of "underweight" and "overweight" children. She does talk about setting some limits, which I would disagree with now, but overall it is a book that can help parents learn how to allow their children to listen to their own bodies.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Holly
"The email didn't say the boy is not healthy. It mentioned her son being seen by a doctor and a nutritionist, but did not say there were any diagnosed health conditions.
Being small for one's age and being thin are not necessarily indications of health problems. I was the smallest person in my class all the way through elementary school. Someone has to be the smallest. We can only all be above average in Lake Woebegone."
This boy's BMI is 13. Unless he is a serious, muscular athlete, this low body fat level could seriously compromise his immunity. A kid who eats Pepsi and cereal with heaping spoonfuls of sugar as regular mealtime fare and is as underweight as this child sounds to me like his situation is a bit more serious that "being small."
By the way, I am only 5 feet tall. I know what it is to be small. This is a HEALTH issue not a SIZE issue. No matter his size, his BMI indicates that.
I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not potentially harmful. It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's quite another to have a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be able to make choices." Obviously that tack has produced poor results in this case.
~Holly~
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Being small for one's age and being thin are not necessarily indications of health problems. I was the smallest person in my class all the way through elementary school. Someone has to be the smallest. We can only all be above average in Lake Woebegone."
This boy's BMI is 13. Unless he is a serious, muscular athlete, this low body fat level could seriously compromise his immunity. A kid who eats Pepsi and cereal with heaping spoonfuls of sugar as regular mealtime fare and is as underweight as this child sounds to me like his situation is a bit more serious that "being small."
By the way, I am only 5 feet tall. I know what it is to be small. This is a HEALTH issue not a SIZE issue. No matter his size, his BMI indicates that.
I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not potentially harmful. It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's quite another to have a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be able to make choices." Obviously that tack has produced poor results in this case.
~Holly~
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nellebelle
Add rather than subtract. Does he like avocado?
Salmon? Nuts? >>>>>
What great advice! It is true that some children at a certain age have difficulty getting enough calories because they are growing so fast. I love to snack on things like trail mix or roasted nuts. These can be expensive, but are great sources of protein, fat, and calories. They also can be sweet, so can satisfy that craving while still providing nutrition. Nuts mixed with dried fruit and chocolate or carob chips or M&Ms. Honey roasted mixed nuts. Smoked salmon, beef jerky, Yum, I'm getting hungry now...
I once knew a cook on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska. It was common for many crews to bring lots of candy bars because they were something that they could stuff in their mouth and not have to stop working to eat. Well this cook would make lots of sandwiches, cut them in about 6 pieces, and he would go around putting the "bite-size" sandwiches in his crew's mouths while they worked. Pre-made sandwiches cut in handy size pieces and stored in Tupperware style containers on the counter or in the fridge might be a good idea for lots of families.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Salmon? Nuts? >>>>>
What great advice! It is true that some children at a certain age have difficulty getting enough calories because they are growing so fast. I love to snack on things like trail mix or roasted nuts. These can be expensive, but are great sources of protein, fat, and calories. They also can be sweet, so can satisfy that craving while still providing nutrition. Nuts mixed with dried fruit and chocolate or carob chips or M&Ms. Honey roasted mixed nuts. Smoked salmon, beef jerky, Yum, I'm getting hungry now...
I once knew a cook on a commercial fishing boat in Alaska. It was common for many crews to bring lots of candy bars because they were something that they could stuff in their mouth and not have to stop working to eat. Well this cook would make lots of sandwiches, cut them in about 6 pieces, and he would go around putting the "bite-size" sandwiches in his crew's mouths while they worked. Pre-made sandwiches cut in handy size pieces and stored in Tupperware style containers on the counter or in the fridge might be a good idea for lots of families.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nellebelle
>>>>This boy's BMI is 13.>>>>That wasn't in the mom's email.
Mary Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/22/2003 12:59:24 PM Central Standard Time,
emkaysmommy@... writes:
choices and improving health. We have several food allergies in our family,
one potentialy fatal. We have always discussed food choices together and my
kids can make their own decisions. They would never choose a peanut, because
they know what it can do to them. The can choose highly processed corn stuff
because they understand the consequence is less severe. They are four and five
years old.
Food has not been a battle in our family for a long time. I can make cookies
and the kids can decide to eat them or not, based on their hunger level. It
is such a foreign concept to me that it still amazes me to hear them say "no
thanks, Mom. I'm not hungry right now." Or, as happened today, "maybe I
should have a piece of cheese instead of a cookie."
Anyway, my point is that there's a whole area inbetween the "eat whatever you
want" mode and the "you can never have this" mode.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
emkaysmommy@... writes:
> I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice thanI believe there is a way to find a balance between helping a child make food
> health in this situation.
choices and improving health. We have several food allergies in our family,
one potentialy fatal. We have always discussed food choices together and my
kids can make their own decisions. They would never choose a peanut, because
they know what it can do to them. The can choose highly processed corn stuff
because they understand the consequence is less severe. They are four and five
years old.
Food has not been a battle in our family for a long time. I can make cookies
and the kids can decide to eat them or not, based on their hunger level. It
is such a foreign concept to me that it still amazes me to hear them say "no
thanks, Mom. I'm not hungry right now." Or, as happened today, "maybe I
should have a piece of cheese instead of a cookie."
Anyway, my point is that there's a whole area inbetween the "eat whatever you
want" mode and the "you can never have this" mode.
Elizabeth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/22/03 11:59:24 AM, emkaysmommy@... writes:
<< I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than
health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not potentially
harmful. >>
Everything in the world is potentially harmful.
Being overly controlling is a KNOWN harm.
<< It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's quite another to have
a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be able to make choices." >>
There are "seriously" underweight is adding a value judgment to what *MIGHT*
be a genetic normality.
This culture operates TOO much on "averages" and charts, and so much of what
is healthy, true and right for an individual then becomes branded "abnormal,"
because it is not the mathematical norm.
We're biological beings, not mathematical data.
<< Obviously that tack has produced poor results in this case.>>
"Obviously" means literally that we can see it.
We can't see it.
We're dealing with words, and asking questions for further clarification.
The biggest problem most people have who are "too thin" or "too fat" (whether
"dangerously" so or not) is the CRAP they get from relatives and friends
about how it's their fault, or their mom's fault, and how the kids should play
soccer, or drink skim milk, or sit up straight or not wear stripes.
Treating a person like a problem to be fixed is not treating him like a
person.
<<I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than
health in this situation. >>
People aren't "worrying" about choice. They're advocating it.
Treating children like people instead of like property or like projects makes
such a profound difference in the lives of all involved that those who "find
it hard to believe" cannot even imagine what we're talking about.
Sandra
<< I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than
health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not potentially
harmful. >>
Everything in the world is potentially harmful.
Being overly controlling is a KNOWN harm.
<< It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's quite another to have
a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be able to make choices." >>
There are "seriously" underweight is adding a value judgment to what *MIGHT*
be a genetic normality.
This culture operates TOO much on "averages" and charts, and so much of what
is healthy, true and right for an individual then becomes branded "abnormal,"
because it is not the mathematical norm.
We're biological beings, not mathematical data.
<< Obviously that tack has produced poor results in this case.>>
"Obviously" means literally that we can see it.
We can't see it.
We're dealing with words, and asking questions for further clarification.
The biggest problem most people have who are "too thin" or "too fat" (whether
"dangerously" so or not) is the CRAP they get from relatives and friends
about how it's their fault, or their mom's fault, and how the kids should play
soccer, or drink skim milk, or sit up straight or not wear stripes.
Treating a person like a problem to be fixed is not treating him like a
person.
<<I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than
health in this situation. >>
People aren't "worrying" about choice. They're advocating it.
Treating children like people instead of like property or like projects makes
such a profound difference in the lives of all involved that those who "find
it hard to believe" cannot even imagine what we're talking about.
Sandra
emkaysmommy
--- In [email protected], "nellebelle"
<nellebelle@c...> wrote:
calculated it,
<nellebelle@c...> wrote:
> >>>>This boy's BMI is 13.>>>>I know. But she gave his height and weight and that's how I
>
> That wasn't in the mom's email.
>
> Mary Ellen
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
calculated it,
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/22/03 10:51:06 AM, nellebelle@... writes:
<< >>>>With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods.>>>>
<<And whenever he has the opportunity, he will gorge himself on the foods
that are being restricted at home. >>
My husband's mother served bird-sized portions to three growing boys because
they had been born chubby and she wanted to create people her children were
not.
They ended up hungry and sneaky and then they ate. They ate all they could
get when they were away from home. They ate MUCH much more than they would
have if she had let them eat as much as they wanted to eat at home, because they
were desperate to get food when they could, knowing another bird meal was all
they would get before bedtime once they got home, and eating between snacks
was not an option at all.
"You don't need it" she would say, and she still to this day does.
And to this day they still are needy.
Sandra
<< >>>>With no other alternatives, he will have to eat other foods.>>>>
<<And whenever he has the opportunity, he will gorge himself on the foods
that are being restricted at home. >>
My husband's mother served bird-sized portions to three growing boys because
they had been born chubby and she wanted to create people her children were
not.
They ended up hungry and sneaky and then they ate. They ate all they could
get when they were away from home. They ate MUCH much more than they would
have if she had let them eat as much as they wanted to eat at home, because they
were desperate to get food when they could, knowing another bird meal was all
they would get before bedtime once they got home, and eating between snacks
was not an option at all.
"You don't need it" she would say, and she still to this day does.
And to this day they still are needy.
Sandra
[email protected]
On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 11:57:43 -0700 "nellebelle" <nellebelle@...>
writes:
Actually, this would be the max it could be, right? Because someone who
was very muscular would have a lower BMI than you would expect by running
the numbers. My brother and sister both always had a lower BMI than this
growing up, I know my Drill Instructor brother's is still under 10% when
you measure it with the the actual tool, not just with the numbers,
because he is very muscular.
How about power bars (or the bar of your choice), cut into bite-sized
pieces with a few pieces at a time left on a plate nearby?
Dar
writes:
> >>>>This boy's BMI is 13.>>>>You can figure it out using the height and weight info she gave, though.
>
> That wasn't in the mom's email.
>
Actually, this would be the max it could be, right? Because someone who
was very muscular would have a lower BMI than you would expect by running
the numbers. My brother and sister both always had a lower BMI than this
growing up, I know my Drill Instructor brother's is still under 10% when
you measure it with the the actual tool, not just with the numbers,
because he is very muscular.
How about power bars (or the bar of your choice), cut into bite-sized
pieces with a few pieces at a time left on a plate nearby?
Dar
emkaysmommy
> People aren't "worrying" about choice. They're advocating it.projects makes
> Treating children like people instead of like property or like
> such a profound difference in the lives of all involved that thosewho "find
> it hard to believe" cannot even imagine what we're talking about.I guess you are right there. This mom sounds, to me, desperately
>
> Sandra
worried about her son's health. She mentions his hair and veins
with great concern, as though he is unwell. My
concerns/strategies/modus operandi would be different than yours in
this situation, or as I have said in other posts, in safety
situations. I am not comfortable being as liberal with choice in
these areas, as many of you seem to be.
I certainly don't equate that to "treating children like property or
like projects."
Tia Leschke
>I was so worried about my older son's health in his second and third year
>
>I guess you are right there. This mom sounds, to me, desperately
>worried about her son's health. She mentions his hair and veins
>with great concern, as though he is unwell. My
>concerns/strategies/modus operandi would be different than yours in
>this situation, or as I have said in other posts, in safety
>situations. I am not comfortable being as liberal with choice in
>these areas, as many of you seem to be.
that I went against what I knew and got into a power trip with him about
food. His health never really improved much, and to this day (age 25) his
eating habits are appalling. Plus he added smoking to the mix as a teen. I
can't help but wonder what his health and eating habits would be like if I
had left the choices up to him during that time.
Tia
Kris
<<I find it hard to believe that parents would worry more about choice than
health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not
potentially harmful. It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's
quite another to have a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be
able to make choices." Obviously that tack has produced poor results in
this case.
~Holly~>>
It is well recognized that making food a power issue is a bad idea, this is
where eating disorders come from. To create a more serious problem out of
trying to solve a temporary one is not good.
My suggestion would be to truly ask the child to help me with my concerns
over his choices by talking. In the long run, however, the only choice is
to trust them. As parents of anorexics and bulimics can tell you, being
more controlling doesn't solve the problem.
Kris
health in this situation. I am all for choices when they are not
potentially harmful. It's one thing to have a skinny, picky eater. It's
quite another to have a seriously underweight kid and say "he needs to be
able to make choices." Obviously that tack has produced poor results in
this case.
~Holly~>>
It is well recognized that making food a power issue is a bad idea, this is
where eating disorders come from. To create a more serious problem out of
trying to solve a temporary one is not good.
My suggestion would be to truly ask the child to help me with my concerns
over his choices by talking. In the long run, however, the only choice is
to trust them. As parents of anorexics and bulimics can tell you, being
more controlling doesn't solve the problem.
Kris
joylyn
My sister used to drink really fatty milk, I know I can get the
equivelent out here, its' VERY good. And fatty. That and milkshakes...
yum.
Joylyn
Tia Leschke wrote:
equivelent out here, its' VERY good. And fatty. That and milkshakes...
yum.
Joylyn
Tia Leschke wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> > > As he has gotten
> > > older, he has moved to almost complete sugar and white flour, high
> glycemic
> > > food as his entire diet.
> >
> >Part may be gearing up for puberty. His body needs more calories so it's
> >seeking an efficient way to get them.
>
> I'd say not to worry as much about the sugar and carbs but focus on the
> good fats and protein. Add rather than subtract. Does he like avocado?
> Salmon? Nuts? See if you can sprinkle ground flax seed (store in the
> fridge
> after grinding in the blender - goes rancid easily) on something he
> likes. If you don't use too much, it just adds a bit of a nutty flavour
> and a tiny bit of crunch.
> Tia
>
>
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J. Stauffer
Thanks for all the responses.
I've tried the simply "adding to" strategy. Zach is also a picky eater. He
is picky about colors, tastes, textures, having never have had something
before, etc.. I offer protein bars (his sister has them for a snack during
her 3 hour gymnastics class) but all the flavors "taste funny". I have a
bowl of grapes, apples and bananas out on the table. We have nuts out,
always have some kind of jerky, often have cheese cut up(although he did
take a small slice of cheese before dinner....but then had no dinner other
than a slice of cake with a huge mound of whip cream on it). Zach simply
doesn't choose these things. I will try actually taking these things to
Zach. Maybe that will help him make the connection about good food and
"warm fuzzies".
He was a real roly-poly baby but beginning about 15 months, he stayed 22 lbs
for almost 2 years. Zach was adopted and his birth mother was a fashion
model but his birth father is a huge guy. All of his birth siblings (there
are 3) appear height/weight proportionate.
I truly couldn't care less about Zach being small. His younger sister (not
biological) is extremely tiny, but proportionate. She appears healthy.
Zach appears to be starving. I don't think he is anorexic, just
malnourished.
The "eat it if you take it" is a generality and doesn't apply to people
trying new things at our house. It has more to do with having a house full
of kids and sometimes people want something simply because somebody else has
one, not because they are hungry. When Danny takes the last yogurt simply
because Marsie has one and then takes 2 bites and throws it out, it is
doubly hard on Michelle who comes along 10 minutes later and really wants
one but will have to wait until the next time I go to the store.
I don't have a big issue with food although I would like to lose about 20
pounds. I was raised in a really layed back family and my mom worked so
food was pretty much an independent decision type of deal.
Zach has never been diagnosed with anything. When he stopped gaining weight
as a toddler, the doctor checked his growth hormone level which was fine.
We saw a nutritionist whose answer was to decorate Zach's food so it looked
like clown faces, etc.. Zach wasn't impressed. Another family doctor
suggested Pediasure which Zach liked but then he completely quit eating all
together.
Zach has taken vitamins in the past until the new wore off and he refused.
I do keep some, not a whole bunch, of foods with lower nutritional density
in the house for a couple of reasons.
1)6 out of 7 people in the house are doing fine with them.
2)I don't want to make a power struggle out of this because I know I will
lose. I talk with all the kids a lot about there is no BAD food. Just that
over a few days period, our bodies need certain nutrients and we need to
make sure we feed that to our bodies so we can be healthy. Some foods have
more nutrients, some have less. I talk with Zach about how since he doesn't
have a big appetite, when he only eats food with little nutrients, his body
isn't getting what it needs. He can still have the foods he loves, just his
body would appreciate a "booster" of minerals and vitamins, etc..
I want to try to keep from taking him to the doctor specifically for this
(lots of doctors have talked to him over the years when we were seeing them
about other things). I really don't want to make it into some kind of
monster-thing. But it is the BMI thing that I am concerned about. I can
tell by looking that Zach isn't just a skinny boy. He is seriously
underweight. I love my son and I'm worried.
Julie S.
I've tried the simply "adding to" strategy. Zach is also a picky eater. He
is picky about colors, tastes, textures, having never have had something
before, etc.. I offer protein bars (his sister has them for a snack during
her 3 hour gymnastics class) but all the flavors "taste funny". I have a
bowl of grapes, apples and bananas out on the table. We have nuts out,
always have some kind of jerky, often have cheese cut up(although he did
take a small slice of cheese before dinner....but then had no dinner other
than a slice of cake with a huge mound of whip cream on it). Zach simply
doesn't choose these things. I will try actually taking these things to
Zach. Maybe that will help him make the connection about good food and
"warm fuzzies".
He was a real roly-poly baby but beginning about 15 months, he stayed 22 lbs
for almost 2 years. Zach was adopted and his birth mother was a fashion
model but his birth father is a huge guy. All of his birth siblings (there
are 3) appear height/weight proportionate.
I truly couldn't care less about Zach being small. His younger sister (not
biological) is extremely tiny, but proportionate. She appears healthy.
Zach appears to be starving. I don't think he is anorexic, just
malnourished.
The "eat it if you take it" is a generality and doesn't apply to people
trying new things at our house. It has more to do with having a house full
of kids and sometimes people want something simply because somebody else has
one, not because they are hungry. When Danny takes the last yogurt simply
because Marsie has one and then takes 2 bites and throws it out, it is
doubly hard on Michelle who comes along 10 minutes later and really wants
one but will have to wait until the next time I go to the store.
I don't have a big issue with food although I would like to lose about 20
pounds. I was raised in a really layed back family and my mom worked so
food was pretty much an independent decision type of deal.
Zach has never been diagnosed with anything. When he stopped gaining weight
as a toddler, the doctor checked his growth hormone level which was fine.
We saw a nutritionist whose answer was to decorate Zach's food so it looked
like clown faces, etc.. Zach wasn't impressed. Another family doctor
suggested Pediasure which Zach liked but then he completely quit eating all
together.
Zach has taken vitamins in the past until the new wore off and he refused.
I do keep some, not a whole bunch, of foods with lower nutritional density
in the house for a couple of reasons.
1)6 out of 7 people in the house are doing fine with them.
2)I don't want to make a power struggle out of this because I know I will
lose. I talk with all the kids a lot about there is no BAD food. Just that
over a few days period, our bodies need certain nutrients and we need to
make sure we feed that to our bodies so we can be healthy. Some foods have
more nutrients, some have less. I talk with Zach about how since he doesn't
have a big appetite, when he only eats food with little nutrients, his body
isn't getting what it needs. He can still have the foods he loves, just his
body would appreciate a "booster" of minerals and vitamins, etc..
I want to try to keep from taking him to the doctor specifically for this
(lots of doctors have talked to him over the years when we were seeing them
about other things). I really don't want to make it into some kind of
monster-thing. But it is the BMI thing that I am concerned about. I can
tell by looking that Zach isn't just a skinny boy. He is seriously
underweight. I love my son and I'm worried.
Julie S.
Kris
<<I want to try to keep from taking him to the doctor specifically for this
(lots of doctors have talked to him over the years when we were seeing them
about other things). I really don't want to make it into some kind of
monster-thing. But it is the BMI thing that I am concerned about. I can
tell by looking that Zach isn't just a skinny boy. He is seriously
underweight. I love my son and I'm worried.
Julie S.>>
Jonathan can become disinterested in food too and can go for days with very
little intake. One thing I've done is actually feed him, I prepare
something that he really likes and then sit down with him wherever he may
be, usually playing video games. I give him bites so he doesn't have to
stop what he is doing. I might have to do this for a couple of days until
his appetite returns.
Mind you, I don't force him to eat, just make is SO available and easy that
he's more likely to do so. I haven't had to do this for several months now,
perhaps he has outgrown the situation. It may not work for you but thought
I would tell what I did in hopes that it might.
Kris
(lots of doctors have talked to him over the years when we were seeing them
about other things). I really don't want to make it into some kind of
monster-thing. But it is the BMI thing that I am concerned about. I can
tell by looking that Zach isn't just a skinny boy. He is seriously
underweight. I love my son and I'm worried.
Julie S.>>
Jonathan can become disinterested in food too and can go for days with very
little intake. One thing I've done is actually feed him, I prepare
something that he really likes and then sit down with him wherever he may
be, usually playing video games. I give him bites so he doesn't have to
stop what he is doing. I might have to do this for a couple of days until
his appetite returns.
Mind you, I don't force him to eat, just make is SO available and easy that
he's more likely to do so. I haven't had to do this for several months now,
perhaps he has outgrown the situation. It may not work for you but thought
I would tell what I did in hopes that it might.
Kris
[email protected]
I have been moving and off line most of this week so if I am way off base or
off track or covering something all wrong i say sorry now.
my personal experence with food restrictions have been diasaterous and so has
forse feeding (as in: ya dont get up till it is all gone)
we adopted lisa she was very thin and her bio's had restricted her and her
bio brother to small portions and no snacks. so we got a child that gorged and
stole food and horded. all expected under circumstances. we went from letting
her just eat to giving small portions then giving more portions and diverting
her attion when we knew we had hit the gorgeing. if she was still "hungery "we
found something together and yes often it was junk food. It took me a long time
with trail and error to discover, when we said yes and combined it with attion
like cuddle time and when we finish what we are doing lets go get a treat or
would you like something to eat? The battle disapeared.
Ocnally she will lapse into old behaviors when under stress.
I have also found with lisa that example is a key. when people at the table are
genuinely enjoying the food she will try it and often enjoy it also/
watching what she is eating helps as in for some reason when she is eating
lots of sugar stuff i look and find more one on one from me less sugar foods.
dont know how sintefic this is. as most kids will eat more sugar.however when
she is eating bags of carrots belive it or not it is after she has been
reading or on her computer for long time. mashed pototes are her absulte
fav.when we serve them first plate will be mostly pototoes and a bit of
others. if she is choosing them as a main lunch or snack i look at them as her
comfort food and spen more cuddle time on couch.not that I use her eating
habits as a complete guide but when they get extencive.also i look at me when I
find I need to control her intake. I do serve what I determine to be healty and
give her heatlhy choices. I dont let her sit and eat nothing but choclate cake
while every one else is eating other things she can eat or not eat or eat till
she cant. We mall wait till about a 1/2 hour or so and then eat a casul snak if
i made a cake or what ever. We have also found that if every one who wants
makes or helps make or even chooses what is for dinner that helps. Was amazing
to have upside down day and how they do choose good stuff and help encourge
younger ones and older ones to try there pot roast. or"ants on a log" thi9s was
a hunch I had one day: most the time I made cookies with them for special time
and wondered why that was what was special. amazing when it went to"moms odd
meal" lol pasta and every thing we can find and then deciding what to put in
for spices and vegggie was a must. and nuts and so forth. our test was can we
make it fun for our mouths to eat?
well this is some tid bits that helped with my gorging child also have one that
is oppisit.
hope this isnt waqy to off base,
Dee
off track or covering something all wrong i say sorry now.
my personal experence with food restrictions have been diasaterous and so has
forse feeding (as in: ya dont get up till it is all gone)
we adopted lisa she was very thin and her bio's had restricted her and her
bio brother to small portions and no snacks. so we got a child that gorged and
stole food and horded. all expected under circumstances. we went from letting
her just eat to giving small portions then giving more portions and diverting
her attion when we knew we had hit the gorgeing. if she was still "hungery "we
found something together and yes often it was junk food. It took me a long time
with trail and error to discover, when we said yes and combined it with attion
like cuddle time and when we finish what we are doing lets go get a treat or
would you like something to eat? The battle disapeared.
Ocnally she will lapse into old behaviors when under stress.
I have also found with lisa that example is a key. when people at the table are
genuinely enjoying the food she will try it and often enjoy it also/
watching what she is eating helps as in for some reason when she is eating
lots of sugar stuff i look and find more one on one from me less sugar foods.
dont know how sintefic this is. as most kids will eat more sugar.however when
she is eating bags of carrots belive it or not it is after she has been
reading or on her computer for long time. mashed pototes are her absulte
fav.when we serve them first plate will be mostly pototoes and a bit of
others. if she is choosing them as a main lunch or snack i look at them as her
comfort food and spen more cuddle time on couch.not that I use her eating
habits as a complete guide but when they get extencive.also i look at me when I
find I need to control her intake. I do serve what I determine to be healty and
give her heatlhy choices. I dont let her sit and eat nothing but choclate cake
while every one else is eating other things she can eat or not eat or eat till
she cant. We mall wait till about a 1/2 hour or so and then eat a casul snak if
i made a cake or what ever. We have also found that if every one who wants
makes or helps make or even chooses what is for dinner that helps. Was amazing
to have upside down day and how they do choose good stuff and help encourge
younger ones and older ones to try there pot roast. or"ants on a log" thi9s was
a hunch I had one day: most the time I made cookies with them for special time
and wondered why that was what was special. amazing when it went to"moms odd
meal" lol pasta and every thing we can find and then deciding what to put in
for spices and vegggie was a must. and nuts and so forth. our test was can we
make it fun for our mouths to eat?
well this is some tid bits that helped with my gorging child also have one that
is oppisit.
hope this isnt waqy to off base,
Dee
aicitticia
One thing I thought about is how you could get more calories into
something that tastes great.
I have been making a huge batch of pancakes on Saturdays and
freezing them in little ziplocs so I can pull them out an just heat
and serve every morning w/o the big "pancake production".
I make them with tons of good stuff and they turn out VERY yummy and
nutrient dense. I follow the recipe on the bag of Whole Wheat pastry
flour (Bob's Red Mill). I put extra stuff in them...smushed up
bananas, yogurt, sometimes blueberries, wheat germ, ground flax
seeds, milk, whatever...just get creative. I figure the yogurt and
milk boost the protein content and the flax seed well that has those
Omega-6's (oils etc), bananas add extra potassium, you get the
picture. Then we top them with a bit of maple syrup for the yummy
factor.
I don't mind so much that Chloe is satisfying her "sweet tooth" this
way and it gets some good stuff into her body in the process.
Would this be an option in your household? I have also been known to
pack quite a bit of calories and proteins into a smoothie for
a "treat" also. Adding peanut butter, yogurt, flaxseed oil or ground
flax seeds, protein powders, etc.
HTH,
Ticia
something that tastes great.
I have been making a huge batch of pancakes on Saturdays and
freezing them in little ziplocs so I can pull them out an just heat
and serve every morning w/o the big "pancake production".
I make them with tons of good stuff and they turn out VERY yummy and
nutrient dense. I follow the recipe on the bag of Whole Wheat pastry
flour (Bob's Red Mill). I put extra stuff in them...smushed up
bananas, yogurt, sometimes blueberries, wheat germ, ground flax
seeds, milk, whatever...just get creative. I figure the yogurt and
milk boost the protein content and the flax seed well that has those
Omega-6's (oils etc), bananas add extra potassium, you get the
picture. Then we top them with a bit of maple syrup for the yummy
factor.
I don't mind so much that Chloe is satisfying her "sweet tooth" this
way and it gets some good stuff into her body in the process.
Would this be an option in your household? I have also been known to
pack quite a bit of calories and proteins into a smoothie for
a "treat" also. Adding peanut butter, yogurt, flaxseed oil or ground
flax seeds, protein powders, etc.
HTH,
Ticia
coyote's corner
Hi,
I was Zach 45 years ago; this is what many doctors and healers told us; "She will eat when she's hungry." For years, I was 'painfully' thin. I wouldn't eat any veggies - except peas. I wouldn't eat any potatoes - except mashed. I never drank milk. We had no pastries or soda in the house (no money) My bio-father had a candy store on the corner - I ate candy...and lots of it...and those nickel bag of chips!!
My mom sort of let me go my own way....she fed me what I would eat and what I didn't want - I didn't want. There were some rules - no candy before a meal, no leaving the table until we were through (I'd be gone after the peas were!) My mom just let it be.
I was rail thin!!
Eventually....things changed.
Honest.
Janis (who has to lose 30 pounds!!!)
I was Zach 45 years ago; this is what many doctors and healers told us; "She will eat when she's hungry." For years, I was 'painfully' thin. I wouldn't eat any veggies - except peas. I wouldn't eat any potatoes - except mashed. I never drank milk. We had no pastries or soda in the house (no money) My bio-father had a candy store on the corner - I ate candy...and lots of it...and those nickel bag of chips!!
My mom sort of let me go my own way....she fed me what I would eat and what I didn't want - I didn't want. There were some rules - no candy before a meal, no leaving the table until we were through (I'd be gone after the peas were!) My mom just let it be.
I was rail thin!!
Eventually....things changed.
Honest.
Janis (who has to lose 30 pounds!!!)
----- Original Message -----
From: J. Stauffer
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2003 10:14 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Any suggestions appreciated
Thanks for all the responses.
I've tried the simply "adding to" strategy. Zach is also a picky eater. He
is picky about colors, tastes, textures, having never have had something
before, etc.. I offer protein bars (his sister has them for a snack during
her 3 hour gymnastics class) but all the flavors "taste funny". I have a
bowl of grapes, apples and bananas out on the table. We have nuts out,
always have some kind of jerky, often have cheese cut up(although he did
take a small slice of cheese before dinner....but then had no dinner other
than a slice of cake with a huge mound of whip cream on it). Zach simply
doesn't choose these things. I will try actually taking these things to
Zach. Maybe that will help him make the connection about good food and
"warm fuzzies".
He was a real roly-poly baby but beginning about 15 months, he stayed 22 lbs
for almost 2 years. Zach was adopted and his birth mother was a fashion
model but his birth father is a huge guy. All of his birth siblings (there
are 3) appear height/weight proportionate.
I truly couldn't care less about Zach being small. His younger sister (not
biological) is extremely tiny, but proportionate. She appears healthy.
Zach appears to be starving. I don't think he is anorexic, just
malnourished.
The "eat it if you take it" is a generality and doesn't apply to people
trying new things at our house. It has more to do with having a house full
of kids and sometimes people want something simply because somebody else has
one, not because they are hungry. When Danny takes the last yogurt simply
because Marsie has one and then takes 2 bites and throws it out, it is
doubly hard on Michelle who comes along 10 minutes later and really wants
one but will have to wait until the next time I go to the store.
I don't have a big issue with food although I would like to lose about 20
pounds. I was raised in a really layed back family and my mom worked so
food was pretty much an independent decision type of deal.
Zach has never been diagnosed with anything. When he stopped gaining weight
as a toddler, the doctor checked his growth hormone level which was fine.
We saw a nutritionist whose answer was to decorate Zach's food so it looked
like clown faces, etc.. Zach wasn't impressed. Another family doctor
suggested Pediasure which Zach liked but then he completely quit eating all
together.
Zach has taken vitamins in the past until the new wore off and he refused.
I do keep some, not a whole bunch, of foods with lower nutritional density
in the house for a couple of reasons.
1)6 out of 7 people in the house are doing fine with them.
2)I don't want to make a power struggle out of this because I know I will
lose. I talk with all the kids a lot about there is no BAD food. Just that
over a few days period, our bodies need certain nutrients and we need to
make sure we feed that to our bodies so we can be healthy. Some foods have
more nutrients, some have less. I talk with Zach about how since he doesn't
have a big appetite, when he only eats food with little nutrients, his body
isn't getting what it needs. He can still have the foods he loves, just his
body would appreciate a "booster" of minerals and vitamins, etc..
I want to try to keep from taking him to the doctor specifically for this
(lots of doctors have talked to him over the years when we were seeing them
about other things). I really don't want to make it into some kind of
monster-thing. But it is the BMI thing that I am concerned about. I can
tell by looking that Zach isn't just a skinny boy. He is seriously
underweight. I love my son and I'm worried.
Julie S.
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