just need to vent
badolbilz
Hi everyone. I just need to vent for a minute to sympathetic ears {or
eyes ;)}. I'm so frustrated with my sister and I feel so bad for her
kids. She has one girl - almost 3, and one boy - just turned 1. They
go to a daycare from 7-5 every day and are placed in seperate rooms,
never allowed to see or play together. Tonight, I asked her if that
bothered her and she said no, she was glad because then her son could
develop his own personality away from his sister. So I asked her if she
felt I didn't have my own personality (she's 2 yrs older than me) and
she said no, of course she didn't think that.
Aside- as children we went to a daycare where the owner told me I
shouldn't play with my sister so much. After crying about it to my mom,
my mom told the owner that her daughters should be allowed to play with
whoever they wanted, especially each other. Also, I have four dds who
pretty much only play with each other all day long and are the best of
friends.
So next, my sister said that next year it would all be different because
she wanted to have another baby and then stay home, except for Sarah who
would still have to go to daycare a few days a week. I said, "Why?"
She just said, "I think it's good for her."
As of now, my sister feels she's having problems now with her daughter
because Sarah's not potty trained at home, only at daycare. When I
asked her for details, she explained that no matter how she's tried at
home, Sarah just won't use the toilet. I reminded her that since Sarah
was about 4 wks old she's been with kids her own age all day long and
treated that if she doesn't act like them, she's going to be in trouble.
So now, at home, the only other kid is her little brother and no one's
giving him a hard time about using a diaper. My sister did agree with
me that harrassing one child and not the other did seem unfair. Then
she went on to tell me that at daycare, at specific intervals during the
day, the children in Sarah's room all go sit on their potty's. Can you
imagine??? When she told me of that all I could think of was circus
elephants being trained to sh-t in the parking lot before the show. To
be honest, it just makes me feel sick that my neice and nephew and how
many other kids are being trained like animals.
None of this is a surprise to me. I just feel so angry about it. And
now my sister is mad because I questioned her about it. I'm not too
worried about that because she and I are very close and went through the
same thing in reverse about unschooling. Notice how I said we're
very close. In the last 32 years, the only friendship she and I have
maintained is with each other, but she's *glad* that her kids aren't
allowed to be together. I just don't get it.
AND...she was at my house all day today and while she was here she was
paying her bills and worried they wouldn't have enough money to pay them
all or even get all the groceries they needed. Between my sister and
her husband, they make about $150-175, 000/yr and have a family of 4.
We make about 30-40 with a family of 6. Yet when it all comes down to
paying bills we're in the same crunch. So why does she need to work and
send her children away?
Anyway, thanks for listening. There's really nothing that can be done.
Ugh! I'm just so sad about it.
Heidi Case
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
eyes ;)}. I'm so frustrated with my sister and I feel so bad for her
kids. She has one girl - almost 3, and one boy - just turned 1. They
go to a daycare from 7-5 every day and are placed in seperate rooms,
never allowed to see or play together. Tonight, I asked her if that
bothered her and she said no, she was glad because then her son could
develop his own personality away from his sister. So I asked her if she
felt I didn't have my own personality (she's 2 yrs older than me) and
she said no, of course she didn't think that.
Aside- as children we went to a daycare where the owner told me I
shouldn't play with my sister so much. After crying about it to my mom,
my mom told the owner that her daughters should be allowed to play with
whoever they wanted, especially each other. Also, I have four dds who
pretty much only play with each other all day long and are the best of
friends.
So next, my sister said that next year it would all be different because
she wanted to have another baby and then stay home, except for Sarah who
would still have to go to daycare a few days a week. I said, "Why?"
She just said, "I think it's good for her."
As of now, my sister feels she's having problems now with her daughter
because Sarah's not potty trained at home, only at daycare. When I
asked her for details, she explained that no matter how she's tried at
home, Sarah just won't use the toilet. I reminded her that since Sarah
was about 4 wks old she's been with kids her own age all day long and
treated that if she doesn't act like them, she's going to be in trouble.
So now, at home, the only other kid is her little brother and no one's
giving him a hard time about using a diaper. My sister did agree with
me that harrassing one child and not the other did seem unfair. Then
she went on to tell me that at daycare, at specific intervals during the
day, the children in Sarah's room all go sit on their potty's. Can you
imagine??? When she told me of that all I could think of was circus
elephants being trained to sh-t in the parking lot before the show. To
be honest, it just makes me feel sick that my neice and nephew and how
many other kids are being trained like animals.
None of this is a surprise to me. I just feel so angry about it. And
now my sister is mad because I questioned her about it. I'm not too
worried about that because she and I are very close and went through the
same thing in reverse about unschooling. Notice how I said we're
very close. In the last 32 years, the only friendship she and I have
maintained is with each other, but she's *glad* that her kids aren't
allowed to be together. I just don't get it.
AND...she was at my house all day today and while she was here she was
paying her bills and worried they wouldn't have enough money to pay them
all or even get all the groceries they needed. Between my sister and
her husband, they make about $150-175, 000/yr and have a family of 4.
We make about 30-40 with a family of 6. Yet when it all comes down to
paying bills we're in the same crunch. So why does she need to work and
send her children away?
Anyway, thanks for listening. There's really nothing that can be done.
Ugh! I'm just so sad about it.
Heidi Case
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cynthia Hagedorn
ohhh.. myheart goes out to you... my sister and her husband found out they needed to job transfer to NYC from MD... They LEFT their 1 year old with a neighbor "so she wouldnt miss school" while they looked for housing... When they DID bring her back they brought her back on a Sunday and she started daycare the very next day "to keep in a routine" I was always speechless and never wanted to talk about it to any of my sibs because I felt deep sadness... but guess what.. she had her third last year and is a STAY at home mom... still though... a COMPLETE authority-pleasing-teachers-know-everything type of person.. but she has come a long way....
btw... she "happened" to get a mysterious subscription to Mothering Magazine... hmmm... now who could have done that???
Cynthia
badolbilz <ynxn96@...> wrote:
Hi everyone. I just need to vent for a minute to sympathetic ears {or
eyes ;)}. I'm so frustrated with my sister and I feel so bad for her
kids. She has one girl - almost 3, and one boy - just turned 1. They
go to a daycare from 7-5 every day and are placed in seperate rooms,
never allowed to see or play together. Tonight, I asked her if that
bothered her and she said no, she was glad because then her son could
develop his own personality away from his sister. So I asked her if she
felt I didn't have my own personality (she's 2 yrs older than me) and
she said no, of course she didn't think that.
Aside- as children we went to a daycare where the owner told me I
shouldn't play with my sister so much. After crying about it to my mom,
my mom told the owner that her daughters should be allowed to play with
whoever they wanted, especially each other. Also, I have four dds who
pretty much only play with each other all day long and are the best of
friends.
So next, my sister said that next year it would all be different because
she wanted to have another baby and then stay home, except for Sarah who
would still have to go to daycare a few days a week. I said, "Why?"
She just said, "I think it's good for her."
As of now, my sister feels she's having problems now with her daughter
because Sarah's not potty trained at home, only at daycare. When I
asked her for details, she explained that no matter how she's tried at
home, Sarah just won't use the toilet. I reminded her that since Sarah
was about 4 wks old she's been with kids her own age all day long and
treated that if she doesn't act like them, she's going to be in trouble.
So now, at home, the only other kid is her little brother and no one's
giving him a hard time about using a diaper. My sister did agree with
me that harrassing one child and not the other did seem unfair. Then
she went on to tell me that at daycare, at specific intervals during the
day, the children in Sarah's room all go sit on their potty's. Can you
imagine??? When she told me of that all I could think of was circus
elephants being trained to sh-t in the parking lot before the show. To
be honest, it just makes me feel sick that my neice and nephew and how
many other kids are being trained like animals.
None of this is a surprise to me. I just feel so angry about it. And
now my sister is mad because I questioned her about it. I'm not too
worried about that because she and I are very close and went through the
same thing in reverse about unschooling. Notice how I said we're
very close. In the last 32 years, the only friendship she and I have
maintained is with each other, but she's *glad* that her kids aren't
allowed to be together. I just don't get it.
AND...she was at my house all day today and while she was here she was
paying her bills and worried they wouldn't have enough money to pay them
all or even get all the groceries they needed. Between my sister and
her husband, they make about $150-175, 000/yr and have a family of 4.
We make about 30-40 with a family of 6. Yet when it all comes down to
paying bills we're in the same crunch. So why does she need to work and
send her children away?
Anyway, thanks for listening. There's really nothing that can be done.
Ugh! I'm just so sad about it.
Heidi Case
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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btw... she "happened" to get a mysterious subscription to Mothering Magazine... hmmm... now who could have done that???
Cynthia
badolbilz <ynxn96@...> wrote:
Hi everyone. I just need to vent for a minute to sympathetic ears {or
eyes ;)}. I'm so frustrated with my sister and I feel so bad for her
kids. She has one girl - almost 3, and one boy - just turned 1. They
go to a daycare from 7-5 every day and are placed in seperate rooms,
never allowed to see or play together. Tonight, I asked her if that
bothered her and she said no, she was glad because then her son could
develop his own personality away from his sister. So I asked her if she
felt I didn't have my own personality (she's 2 yrs older than me) and
she said no, of course she didn't think that.
Aside- as children we went to a daycare where the owner told me I
shouldn't play with my sister so much. After crying about it to my mom,
my mom told the owner that her daughters should be allowed to play with
whoever they wanted, especially each other. Also, I have four dds who
pretty much only play with each other all day long and are the best of
friends.
So next, my sister said that next year it would all be different because
she wanted to have another baby and then stay home, except for Sarah who
would still have to go to daycare a few days a week. I said, "Why?"
She just said, "I think it's good for her."
As of now, my sister feels she's having problems now with her daughter
because Sarah's not potty trained at home, only at daycare. When I
asked her for details, she explained that no matter how she's tried at
home, Sarah just won't use the toilet. I reminded her that since Sarah
was about 4 wks old she's been with kids her own age all day long and
treated that if she doesn't act like them, she's going to be in trouble.
So now, at home, the only other kid is her little brother and no one's
giving him a hard time about using a diaper. My sister did agree with
me that harrassing one child and not the other did seem unfair. Then
she went on to tell me that at daycare, at specific intervals during the
day, the children in Sarah's room all go sit on their potty's. Can you
imagine??? When she told me of that all I could think of was circus
elephants being trained to sh-t in the parking lot before the show. To
be honest, it just makes me feel sick that my neice and nephew and how
many other kids are being trained like animals.
None of this is a surprise to me. I just feel so angry about it. And
now my sister is mad because I questioned her about it. I'm not too
worried about that because she and I are very close and went through the
same thing in reverse about unschooling. Notice how I said we're
very close. In the last 32 years, the only friendship she and I have
maintained is with each other, but she's *glad* that her kids aren't
allowed to be together. I just don't get it.
AND...she was at my house all day today and while she was here she was
paying her bills and worried they wouldn't have enough money to pay them
all or even get all the groceries they needed. Between my sister and
her husband, they make about $150-175, 000/yr and have a family of 4.
We make about 30-40 with a family of 6. Yet when it all comes down to
paying bills we're in the same crunch. So why does she need to work and
send her children away?
Anyway, thanks for listening. There's really nothing that can be done.
Ugh! I'm just so sad about it.
Heidi Case
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Heidi,
Hi! I'm Susan, I've been lurking here for a couple months, just reading
emails and not having time to post anything lately. Anyway, you email really got
me going this morning. I just got out of the daycare business after 8 years,
and I can totally relate to what you are saying. Daycare is such a sad thing
and I regret that my oldest child went to daycare as a baby.
I really tried to do an excellent job at daycare and I'm sure most people in
the daycare business try to do that too, but in my opinion (and it's just my
opinion, I don't want to get flamed) daycares are just not a good thing at all
for kids. First off, you get kids that are separated from their siblings from
birth on up and they never get to know their siblings or form lasting bonds
with them. Secondly, kids that are in daycare all day long, never form a
strong bond with their parents. Thirdly, these kids in daycare are so starved for
attention, that they will do anything to get a few seconds of attention from
their tired parents at the end of the day, and it's usually something bad that
gets Mom and dad's attention. The behavior and what they try to do for
attention gets worse and worse as they get older.
The cost of daycare keeps going up, and society leads parents to believe that
they can't get by on one income, or it's not OK to stay home with your kids
because then they don't get the "social skills" that they need to survive in
the "real world", so parents pay the high price to send their kids to daycare to
get some "socialization." The parents end up strapped for cash because
usually one income goes to just paying the daycare bill and if there's any left
over, it goes to feeding the kids fast or convenience foods (also expensive)
because they are just too tired and worn out from work to want to deal with making
a meal, and that's all their kids will eat because that's mostly what they
eat at the daycare center.
I look back at some of the sad situations I had with daycare over the years,
and I wonder how some of those kids are going to turn out. Last night on our
local news here in MN, there was a report on how kids in daycare are more
likely to grow up to be criminals. What gripes me about stuff like that is that
it's always turned around into becoming the daycare's or school's fault that
their kids turn out this way, it's never the fault of the parents that dumped
their kids off and never paid attention to them. So anyway, I didn't mean to
get off on a tangent, but I have seen over the years what happens to kids in
daycare and I just don't feel it's a good thing for our society and I can see why
you are saddened by your niece and nephew being in daycare. Susan
Susan
[email protected]
[email protected]
Contact me for information on hosting a Foreign Exchange Student
Ask me about Melaleuca Products
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hi! I'm Susan, I've been lurking here for a couple months, just reading
emails and not having time to post anything lately. Anyway, you email really got
me going this morning. I just got out of the daycare business after 8 years,
and I can totally relate to what you are saying. Daycare is such a sad thing
and I regret that my oldest child went to daycare as a baby.
I really tried to do an excellent job at daycare and I'm sure most people in
the daycare business try to do that too, but in my opinion (and it's just my
opinion, I don't want to get flamed) daycares are just not a good thing at all
for kids. First off, you get kids that are separated from their siblings from
birth on up and they never get to know their siblings or form lasting bonds
with them. Secondly, kids that are in daycare all day long, never form a
strong bond with their parents. Thirdly, these kids in daycare are so starved for
attention, that they will do anything to get a few seconds of attention from
their tired parents at the end of the day, and it's usually something bad that
gets Mom and dad's attention. The behavior and what they try to do for
attention gets worse and worse as they get older.
The cost of daycare keeps going up, and society leads parents to believe that
they can't get by on one income, or it's not OK to stay home with your kids
because then they don't get the "social skills" that they need to survive in
the "real world", so parents pay the high price to send their kids to daycare to
get some "socialization." The parents end up strapped for cash because
usually one income goes to just paying the daycare bill and if there's any left
over, it goes to feeding the kids fast or convenience foods (also expensive)
because they are just too tired and worn out from work to want to deal with making
a meal, and that's all their kids will eat because that's mostly what they
eat at the daycare center.
I look back at some of the sad situations I had with daycare over the years,
and I wonder how some of those kids are going to turn out. Last night on our
local news here in MN, there was a report on how kids in daycare are more
likely to grow up to be criminals. What gripes me about stuff like that is that
it's always turned around into becoming the daycare's or school's fault that
their kids turn out this way, it's never the fault of the parents that dumped
their kids off and never paid attention to them. So anyway, I didn't mean to
get off on a tangent, but I have seen over the years what happens to kids in
daycare and I just don't feel it's a good thing for our society and I can see why
you are saddened by your niece and nephew being in daycare. Susan
Susan
[email protected]
[email protected]
Contact me for information on hosting a Foreign Exchange Student
Ask me about Melaleuca Products
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]