Re: Food and Money
Retta Fontana
I think there would be a lot of "no that's mine" kind of mentality, except that there is always more grocery money if they need it. They end up sharing a lot and spending far less than I expected. The basics are here for everyone, and everyone knows that anything special that they didn't buy was obviously bought by someone else. If they want some they ask, and they both usually will share, because the next time it may be reversed. If the answer is no, then they are free to go and buy their own, they just have to tolerate the delayed gratification. It's not any different than special toys they had to ask each other for. They've always been pretty good about respecting other people's boundaries.
My kids are old enough not to have tantrums much anymore, although no one's stopping them! They see Mom and Dad work together equitably and trustingly, so mostly they do the same, especially with this new level of independence.
In my teenage son's defense, one time he wanted a trig book ($90) which I was willing to buy, but he told me he didn't think he'd use ninety dollars worth. We ended up finding a much cheaper, similar version. Now when he gets a big chunk of cash he puts it in the bank, but that was a tough lesson he taught himself. He had to fritter away his birthday money ($60) to painfully become aware of how easy it is to spend and how challenging to come by.
The grocery situation is certainly not perfect, but it's working for us for today; a good "experiment."
Retta
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My kids are old enough not to have tantrums much anymore, although no one's stopping them! They see Mom and Dad work together equitably and trustingly, so mostly they do the same, especially with this new level of independence.
In my teenage son's defense, one time he wanted a trig book ($90) which I was willing to buy, but he told me he didn't think he'd use ninety dollars worth. We ended up finding a much cheaper, similar version. Now when he gets a big chunk of cash he puts it in the bank, but that was a tough lesson he taught himself. He had to fritter away his birthday money ($60) to painfully become aware of how easy it is to spend and how challenging to come by.
The grocery situation is certainly not perfect, but it's working for us for today; a good "experiment."
Retta
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nellebelle
I don't understand how this system is any different than just asking them what they want at the grocery store.
I'm glad that it is working for you though.
Mary Ellen
I'm glad that it is working for you though.
Mary Ellen
----- Original Message ----- The grocery situation is certainly not perfect, but it's working for us for today; a good "experiment."
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In a message dated 8/18/03 2:05:50 PM, nellebelle@... writes:
<< I don't understand how this system is any different than just asking them
what they want at the grocery store.
<<I'm glad that it is working for you though. >>
Once in a while one of my kids gets something he doesn't really want to
share, and that's okay too, whether he bought it with his own money or not.
My kids are good about sharing their game systems, tvs, rooms, etc.
They're good with sharing food too, and the system being described seemed to
be working okay. What still makes me a tiny bit wary of it (besides the lack
of sharing) is it's not good for volume buying (two smalls are rarely as good
a deal as one large) and it might make kids buy something just because the
money has arrived.
More often than not, my kids don't ask for anything special.
Sandra
<< I don't understand how this system is any different than just asking them
what they want at the grocery store.
<<I'm glad that it is working for you though. >>
Once in a while one of my kids gets something he doesn't really want to
share, and that's okay too, whether he bought it with his own money or not.
My kids are good about sharing their game systems, tvs, rooms, etc.
They're good with sharing food too, and the system being described seemed to
be working okay. What still makes me a tiny bit wary of it (besides the lack
of sharing) is it's not good for volume buying (two smalls are rarely as good
a deal as one large) and it might make kids buy something just because the
money has arrived.
More often than not, my kids don't ask for anything special.
Sandra