Candy bar and cheating
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Hi all,
Riley had the candy bar when I got to practice yesterday. He then told me that what he said the day before was actually a lie. That he really did swim under all the lanes without a breath. I smiled and let him know I understand he wanted to be able to swim under all the lane lines and then talked about all the skills he learned this summer and how hard it has been to swim when it's cold. I let go any lecture about the wrongs of cheating. He enjoyed his chocolate.
Now a little bit more info. Riley loves winning, tantrums over losing. Riley cheats to win many games he plays, tantrums when anyone else cheats. Riley has lots of the characteristics of the kids in the book The Explosive Child. He challenges me beyond what I ever imagined parenting to be. At 6.5, I still can pretty much take him by his hand and guide him. Though I see much honesty and compassion from him, I also see cruel and dishonest moments. He worries me, alot.
Last night we saw some teens going towards Rileys bike out in the grass. They were bending over to pick it up. To check it out or take? I do not know. I casually talked loudly and tols Riley to remember to get his bike. The boys put the bike down and split, straight away from me bolt. This openned the doors for a very gentle discussion of the rights of people, honesty, stealing. He was very receptive having the image of his own bike possibly taken. I think he understood. We will have to see how his actions are. I'll let you all know.
Mary H.
Thank you all for the helpful feedback.
Riley had the candy bar when I got to practice yesterday. He then told me that what he said the day before was actually a lie. That he really did swim under all the lanes without a breath. I smiled and let him know I understand he wanted to be able to swim under all the lane lines and then talked about all the skills he learned this summer and how hard it has been to swim when it's cold. I let go any lecture about the wrongs of cheating. He enjoyed his chocolate.
Now a little bit more info. Riley loves winning, tantrums over losing. Riley cheats to win many games he plays, tantrums when anyone else cheats. Riley has lots of the characteristics of the kids in the book The Explosive Child. He challenges me beyond what I ever imagined parenting to be. At 6.5, I still can pretty much take him by his hand and guide him. Though I see much honesty and compassion from him, I also see cruel and dishonest moments. He worries me, alot.
Last night we saw some teens going towards Rileys bike out in the grass. They were bending over to pick it up. To check it out or take? I do not know. I casually talked loudly and tols Riley to remember to get his bike. The boys put the bike down and split, straight away from me bolt. This openned the doors for a very gentle discussion of the rights of people, honesty, stealing. He was very receptive having the image of his own bike possibly taken. I think he understood. We will have to see how his actions are. I'll let you all know.
Mary H.
Thank you all for the helpful feedback.
Betsy
**Now a little bit more info. Riley loves winning, tantrums over losing.
Riley cheats to win many games he plays, tantrums when anyone else
cheats. Riley has lots of the characteristics of the kids in the book
The Explosive Child. He challenges me beyond what I ever imagined
parenting to be. At 6.5, I still can pretty much take him by his hand
and guide him. Though I see much honesty and compassion from him, I also
see cruel and dishonest moments. He worries me, alot.
**
Hi, Mary --
I have twin nephews that are now 17. When they were sixish they would
both have big sobbing outbursts and run out of the room when they lost a
game. (I wouldn't quite call that a tantrum.)
I just visited them this week and went back-to-school shopping with them
and they are both totally sweet and well behaved. (Trying on clothes
often makes ME feel like having a tantrum.) They are honor students,
boy scouts, nice to their mom and their relatives, very well behaved and
don't even stay out late. (They are in public school.)
Just wanted to say that not every six year old who hates to lose will
come to a bad end. :-)
Betsy
Riley cheats to win many games he plays, tantrums when anyone else
cheats. Riley has lots of the characteristics of the kids in the book
The Explosive Child. He challenges me beyond what I ever imagined
parenting to be. At 6.5, I still can pretty much take him by his hand
and guide him. Though I see much honesty and compassion from him, I also
see cruel and dishonest moments. He worries me, alot.
**
Hi, Mary --
I have twin nephews that are now 17. When they were sixish they would
both have big sobbing outbursts and run out of the room when they lost a
game. (I wouldn't quite call that a tantrum.)
I just visited them this week and went back-to-school shopping with them
and they are both totally sweet and well behaved. (Trying on clothes
often makes ME feel like having a tantrum.) They are honor students,
boy scouts, nice to their mom and their relatives, very well behaved and
don't even stay out late. (They are in public school.)
Just wanted to say that not every six year old who hates to lose will
come to a bad end. :-)
Betsy
Kathleen and David Gehrke
My Levi who just turned nine the other day hated to
lose. Still does. We talk lots about being a good
sport and what that means. He is a stomper even for
being told no. I think it is some kids personality. My
third son Jessy , who is 12, climbed a tree to get a
soccerball for some kids they were playing with. Levi
was angry because Jessy got the ball before he could..
"I just wanted to be man of the hour". I have never
used that expression and do not dub winners and losers
in our family. Levi has a very strong personality and
I have times of being worried about him too. He is
also a tender heart and when you get down to it he is
very gentle and kind. I am trying to really focus on
that side of his nature. Thank him when he is
including of his little sister. Tell him how much I
appreciate how he handles a situation when he keep
control of his temper. Levi is also prone to making
stories up to make himself look better. He is also the
kid who walked back to shore seven times as the boys
went ahead to help his next youngest sister who kept
changing her mind if she was brave enough to wade. He
never lost patience or said enough. They,the boys,
were quite far ahead when I said go on to him she was
not going to make it today. Keep faith in his goodness
and trust yourself and him to help him be his best
self.
Kathleen
--- Betsy <ecsamhill@...> wrote:
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lose. Still does. We talk lots about being a good
sport and what that means. He is a stomper even for
being told no. I think it is some kids personality. My
third son Jessy , who is 12, climbed a tree to get a
soccerball for some kids they were playing with. Levi
was angry because Jessy got the ball before he could..
"I just wanted to be man of the hour". I have never
used that expression and do not dub winners and losers
in our family. Levi has a very strong personality and
I have times of being worried about him too. He is
also a tender heart and when you get down to it he is
very gentle and kind. I am trying to really focus on
that side of his nature. Thank him when he is
including of his little sister. Tell him how much I
appreciate how he handles a situation when he keep
control of his temper. Levi is also prone to making
stories up to make himself look better. He is also the
kid who walked back to shore seven times as the boys
went ahead to help his next youngest sister who kept
changing her mind if she was brave enough to wade. He
never lost patience or said enough. They,the boys,
were quite far ahead when I said go on to him she was
not going to make it today. Keep faith in his goodness
and trust yourself and him to help him be his best
self.
Kathleen
--- Betsy <ecsamhill@...> wrote:
>__________________________________
>
> **Now a little bit more info. Riley loves winning,
> tantrums over losing.
> Riley cheats to win many games he plays, tantrums
> when anyone else
> cheats. Riley has lots of the characteristics of the
> kids in the book
> The Explosive Child. He challenges me beyond what I
> ever imagined
> parenting to be. At 6.5, I still can pretty much
> take him by his hand
> and guide him. Though I see much honesty and
> compassion from him, I also
> see cruel and dishonest moments. He worries me,
> alot.
> **
>
> Hi, Mary --
>
> I have twin nephews that are now 17. When they were
> sixish they would
> both have big sobbing outbursts and run out of the
> room when they lost a
> game. (I wouldn't quite call that a tantrum.)
>
> I just visited them this week and went
> back-to-school shopping with them
> and they are both totally sweet and well behaved.
> (Trying on clothes
> often makes ME feel like having a tantrum.) They
> are honor students,
> boy scouts, nice to their mom and their relatives,
> very well behaved and
> don't even stay out late. (They are in public
> school.)
>
> Just wanted to say that not every six year old who
> hates to lose will
> come to a bad end. :-)
>
> Betsy
>
>
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Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/8/03 11:14:49 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:
<< Just wanted to say that not every six year old who hates to lose will
come to a bad end. :-) >>
Kirby, same (except the honor student part).
HORRIBLE to play games with when he was little, and now so civilized that
people (adults) will come to our house several days a week to ask if he will play
games with them. All KINDS of games--collectible card stuff, D&D, video,
old-time poker...
I guess he got it out of his system early and now is gracious whether he wins
or loses.
Sandra
<< Just wanted to say that not every six year old who hates to lose will
come to a bad end. :-) >>
Kirby, same (except the honor student part).
HORRIBLE to play games with when he was little, and now so civilized that
people (adults) will come to our house several days a week to ask if he will play
games with them. All KINDS of games--collectible card stuff, D&D, video,
old-time poker...
I guess he got it out of his system early and now is gracious whether he wins
or loses.
Sandra
Pamela Sorooshian
On Friday, August 8, 2003, at 02:19 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
such a huge part of his life. Roxana's inability to handle game
playing made me really sad, because my dh and I both really love to
play games, but playing with her was always pretty miserable.
She's 15 now and is fine - no more outbursts like she used to have over
games.
-pam
> I guess he got it out of his system early and now is gracious whetherI think it is really amazing, though, how he ended up with gaming being
> he wins
> or loses.
such a huge part of his life. Roxana's inability to handle game
playing made me really sad, because my dh and I both really love to
play games, but playing with her was always pretty miserable.
She's 15 now and is fine - no more outbursts like she used to have over
games.
-pam