BADOLBILZ

I'm hoping to get a little advice from all of you. Dh and I were out
shopping today and he started talking about our oldest (7 dd) and how
she learns. She's very stubborn and shuts right down if I (or anyone)
attempts to get her to read or do anything she doesn't really want to.
I'm perfectly comfortable just letting her go it at her own pace, but
dh feels that he learns the same as she does and that we need to force
her to read and do basic math now. His reasoning is that he also hates
to be "taught" but that when forced, he will eventually get it...and so
will she.

He's okay on most of our unschooling ways so far, but he has repeatedly
stated that the basics of reading and math should be taught now. A
little background on him...he's pretty much a hand's off parent. He
loves the girls, but I'm the care provider and he's the money provider.
I don't mean this to sound like he's cold, but he's pretty much
uninvolved. But he does really love the girls and now he's being
interested, he's just not saying what I'd like to hear. I hope I'm
explaining this well. Another example would be Aislinn's (the 7 yr old)
gymnastics. This has been her first year and she's AWESOME at it, but
she doesn't want to go back next fall. Now she wants to try ice
skating. I said, great. Dh said she should have to do gymnastics
because his parents made him play baseball in little league until he got
good and loved it.

Anyway, for the sake of his relationship with the girls and his and
mine, I don't want to just shut him out and tell him no. I desperately
want him to be more involved and right now he's taking an interest but
if I try to push unschooling more on him now, I think it will not be a
good thing for any of us.

If I didn't explain this well, maybe the right questions will make it
more clear. So any questions and/or comments would be much appreciated.
Thanks. HeidiC.

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In a message dated 6/8/03 5:39:47 PM, ynxn96@... writes:

<< She's very stubborn and shuts right down if I (or anyone)
attempts to get her to read or do anything she doesn't really want to. >>

That just means she's smart.
It also means that every single time you do that, you make it worse.

<< His reasoning is that he also hates
to be "taught" but that when forced, he will eventually get it...and so
will she. >>

Are there no things he has learned on his own outside of school?
Lately? As an adult?
You have to force him to learn things now?

<<Dh said she should have to do gymnastics
because his parents made him play baseball in little league until he got
good and loved it.>>

Say she loved it because she was NOT made to do it.

<<but
if I try to push unschooling more on him now, I think it will not be a
good thing for any of us.>>

If he pushes schooling on your daughters, for which of you is that a good
thing?
It should really be about them, not about the little boy in him.

I'd give him a book to read and say you'll discuss it when he's done. Maybe
Linda Dobson's Homeschool Book of Answers. It's pretty unschooly without
saying so on the cover.

Sandra