[AlwaysLearning] personality and unschooling
BADOLBILZ
I had a long talk with my sister today about my new interest and
flat-out excitement in unschooling and how I'm applying it to our lives
and the changes we've been making. She brought up the family's concerns
about the fact that I won't listen to their concerns. I admitted that I
can get very defensive when I feel picked on, but agreed to listen to
what they had to say. I'll have to let you know how that goes, but I'm
sure you've all been there.
Anyway, we talked for over two hours on the phone tonight and I have
such a great friend in her. She raised a lot of food for thought in a
purely discussional, "look at all the angles" way. And she really
listened. She wants to read the books I've bought, too. I'm so eager
to share them with someone else. But she did come up with a good
question that I'd like to ask all of you. It has to do with how
different personality types could unschool.
I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none.
So...I come across unschooling and decide it's the best thing since
sliced bread and jump off the high board. It suits me so much. It
makes sense to me. She's wondering how someone like her could unschool
successfully. Is it possible? She says it's fascinating, but someone
like her just couldn't do it. What do you think?
Another part to this question is this...I have four dd's. It is
starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. In fact
these last 6 months of unschooling completely have caused her to become
more and more insecure with many, many fits of clinging and crying.
She's 5, by the way. The oldest dd and the 3rd dd are taking things
right in stride. 4th - only 6 mnths, so she's cool with it. Anyway,
any suggestions on how to work this so everyone's getting what they
need? How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?
One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could this happen? Do any of
you know anyone this has happened to? To be honest, it did scare me.
Not enough to stop, but enough to pause and ask all of you anyway.
Well, I'd appreciate it if you all would let me know what you think.
Have a GREAT day tomorrow...or later today, I guess. Perhaps it's time
I got some sleep. Night. HeidiC.
flat-out excitement in unschooling and how I'm applying it to our lives
and the changes we've been making. She brought up the family's concerns
about the fact that I won't listen to their concerns. I admitted that I
can get very defensive when I feel picked on, but agreed to listen to
what they had to say. I'll have to let you know how that goes, but I'm
sure you've all been there.
Anyway, we talked for over two hours on the phone tonight and I have
such a great friend in her. She raised a lot of food for thought in a
purely discussional, "look at all the angles" way. And she really
listened. She wants to read the books I've bought, too. I'm so eager
to share them with someone else. But she did come up with a good
question that I'd like to ask all of you. It has to do with how
different personality types could unschool.
I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none.
So...I come across unschooling and decide it's the best thing since
sliced bread and jump off the high board. It suits me so much. It
makes sense to me. She's wondering how someone like her could unschool
successfully. Is it possible? She says it's fascinating, but someone
like her just couldn't do it. What do you think?
Another part to this question is this...I have four dd's. It is
starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. In fact
these last 6 months of unschooling completely have caused her to become
more and more insecure with many, many fits of clinging and crying.
She's 5, by the way. The oldest dd and the 3rd dd are taking things
right in stride. 4th - only 6 mnths, so she's cool with it. Anyway,
any suggestions on how to work this so everyone's getting what they
need? How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?
One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could this happen? Do any of
you know anyone this has happened to? To be honest, it did scare me.
Not enough to stop, but enough to pause and ask all of you anyway.
Well, I'd appreciate it if you all would let me know what you think.
Have a GREAT day tomorrow...or later today, I guess. Perhaps it's time
I got some sleep. Night. HeidiC.
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/03 11:09:36 PM, ynxn96@... writes:
<< I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
-=It is starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday
with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. -=-
Someone can have a hugely scheduled life without trying to schedule how and
when they will learn (and not learn).
-=-How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?-=-
Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, or
wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's waking up
when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having company, etc.
Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family and
that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
-=-One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could this happen? Do any of
you know anyone this has happened to? -=-
People I've seen or heard of having trouble were either reported by a grumpy
ex-husband, a crazed mother-in-law, or jealous neighbors.
In the case of the first two, they were matters of custody
negotiations/visitation/scheduling.
In the latter, neighbor case, if the house isn't a dump, kids are healthy and
there's food and a car running, that's pretty easily handled (in the cases of
which I'm thinking).
And I don't think it would be taking them away, in any case, but maybe
pressure to put them in school. Sometimes in divorces kids are court ordered to go
to school. Homeschooling can lose just like dads used to lose. School has
become the modern mom (in a sad way, in divorces).
Sandra
<< I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
-=It is starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday
with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. -=-
Someone can have a hugely scheduled life without trying to schedule how and
when they will learn (and not learn).
-=-How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?-=-
Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, or
wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's waking up
when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having company, etc.
Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family and
that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
-=-One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could this happen? Do any of
you know anyone this has happened to? -=-
People I've seen or heard of having trouble were either reported by a grumpy
ex-husband, a crazed mother-in-law, or jealous neighbors.
In the case of the first two, they were matters of custody
negotiations/visitation/scheduling.
In the latter, neighbor case, if the house isn't a dump, kids are healthy and
there's food and a car running, that's pretty easily handled (in the cases of
which I'm thinking).
And I don't think it would be taking them away, in any case, but maybe
pressure to put them in school. Sometimes in divorces kids are court ordered to go
to school. Homeschooling can lose just like dads used to lose. School has
become the modern mom (in a sad way, in divorces).
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/03 11:09:36 PM, ynxn96@... writes:
<< I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
-=It is starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday
with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. -=-
Someone can have a hugely scheduled life without trying to schedule how and
when they will learn (and not learn).
-=-How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?-=-
Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, or
wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's waking up
when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having company, etc.
Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family and
that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
-=-One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could thire either reported by a
grumpy ex-husband, a crazed mother-in-law, or jealous neighbors.
In the case of the first two, they were matters of custody
negotiations/visitation/scheduling.
In the latter, neighbor case, if the house isn't a dump, kids are healthy and
there's food and a car running, that's pretty easily handled (in the cases of
which I'm thinking).
And I don't think it would be taking them away, in any case, but maybe
pressure to put them in school. Sometimes in divorces kids are court ordered to go
to school. Homeschooling can lose just like dads used to lose. School has
become the modern mom (in a sad way, in divorces).
Sandra
<< I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
-=It is starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday
with
my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order. -=-
Someone can have a hugely scheduled life without trying to schedule how and
when they will learn (and not learn).
-=-How can I have a daily routine and schedule for one child and not
the others, too?-=-
Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, or
wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's waking up
when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having company, etc.
Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family and
that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
-=-One last question...my sister said a friend who'd worked in social
services for many years told her that if I'm not careful, "they" could
take my kids away from me and file a criminal report against me for
child neglect if it is decided that my children aren't up to par with
"the norm." I'd like to think this is just a scare tactic to keep
people like us in line with the rest. But could thire either reported by a
grumpy ex-husband, a crazed mother-in-law, or jealous neighbors.
In the case of the first two, they were matters of custody
negotiations/visitation/scheduling.
In the latter, neighbor case, if the house isn't a dump, kids are healthy and
there's food and a car running, that's pretty easily handled (in the cases of
which I'm thinking).
And I don't think it would be taking them away, in any case, but maybe
pressure to put them in school. Sometimes in divorces kids are court ordered to go
to school. Homeschooling can lose just like dads used to lose. School has
become the modern mom (in a sad way, in divorces).
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/03 10:34:33 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Please add me to the above list, although I have never met them in person.
But I am far, far, far away from being type B. I think sometimes I can even
scare off a type A. I don't think it makes a difference in what pigeon hole
someone out there stuck you in, unschooling works regardless of personlity type. I
think it in fact, is so much easier to mold to one's personality, rather than
trying to stick square pegs in round holes. Learning is so much more condusive
when you are able to be you, regardless of personaily traits.
Good luck and even if your family doesn't get it, all that matters is that
you and yours do.
Rhonda - who just found out it takes 4 days to get to South Carolina from
Cali via the train. Yikes! I guess I will look up flying.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.Heidi,
> So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
> So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
>
Please add me to the above list, although I have never met them in person.
But I am far, far, far away from being type B. I think sometimes I can even
scare off a type A. I don't think it makes a difference in what pigeon hole
someone out there stuck you in, unschooling works regardless of personlity type. I
think it in fact, is so much easier to mold to one's personality, rather than
trying to stick square pegs in round holes. Learning is so much more condusive
when you are able to be you, regardless of personaily traits.
Good luck and even if your family doesn't get it, all that matters is that
you and yours do.
Rhonda - who just found out it takes 4 days to get to South Carolina from
Cali via the train. Yikes! I guess I will look up flying.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 5/22/03 1:26 AM, BADOLBILZ at ynxn96@... wrote:
unschool.
The woman who came to mind when you described your sister organized
activities each Friday for homeschoolers, and was mega-involved in outide
activities. She organized the town fair. She did more in a week than I did
in a year ;-)
There's *loads* of things for type As to organize and be involved with that
don't involve organizing their kids learning.
to happen that day.
Or make certain rituals for her, things you can do the same way each day,
like having her place set at breakfast with her favorite bowl and boxes of
cereal to choose, a bedtime story and then rubbing her back with oil each
night before she goes to bed. They'll have to be things you can stick with.
Joyce
> She's wondering how someone like her could unschoolAs long as someone isn't into running other people's lives, then they can
> successfully. Is it possible?
unschool.
The woman who came to mind when you described your sister organized
activities each Friday for homeschoolers, and was mega-involved in outide
activities. She organized the town fair. She did more in a week than I did
in a year ;-)
There's *loads* of things for type As to organize and be involved with that
don't involve organizing their kids learning.
> It isMaybe you give her a run down each evening or in the morning on what's going
> starting to become apparent that my second (who shares a birthday with
> my sister) is also someone who needs predictability and order.
to happen that day.
Or make certain rituals for her, things you can do the same way each day,
like having her place set at breakfast with her favorite bowl and boxes of
cereal to choose, a bedtime story and then rubbing her back with oil each
night before she goes to bed. They'll have to be things you can stick with.
Joyce
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 1:09:40 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
ynxn96@... writes:
I wanted to make one comment. Don't you hate when one person speaks for
everyone. I hate that. One family member speaks for "the rest of the family." I
wish everyone would speak for themselves and bring their individual concerns
to the table to discuss. When one speaks for everyone you know it is because
they want you to change not because they want to talk about it and learn more
about it, whatever the "it" is.
Just one of my pet peeves.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ynxn96@... writes:
> She brought up the family's concernsI am sure there are others who can answer your specific questions better but
> about the fact that I won't listen to their concerns.
I wanted to make one comment. Don't you hate when one person speaks for
everyone. I hate that. One family member speaks for "the rest of the family." I
wish everyone would speak for themselves and bring their individual concerns
to the table to discuss. When one speaks for everyone you know it is because
they want you to change not because they want to talk about it and learn more
about it, whatever the "it" is.
Just one of my pet peeves.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BADOLBILZ
SandraDodd@... wrote:
and the new baby, she's been feeling so powerless. Letting her feel she
has some control in how our days go should make her feel more in
control. We'll give it a go. It's been making me so sad to see her
crying every night before she falls to sleep. Thank you. HeidiC.
>Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, orSandra, that's a wonderful idea! I think between our lifestyle changes
>wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's waking up when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having company, etc.
>
>Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family and that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
>
and the new baby, she's been feeling so powerless. Letting her feel she
has some control in how our days go should make her feel more in
control. We'll give it a go. It's been making me so sad to see her
crying every night before she falls to sleep. Thank you. HeidiC.
>
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/2003 1:34:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
out loud and go ahead after reading THIS response! Thanks Sandra!
Yes. I'm type A with a capital A! (I don't make the money anymore either.)
Tell her that she's the type who'd be putting on conferences!
I tiled my kitchen counter & backsplash yesterday! Grouting today.
I'm a gardening FOOL!
I want BEES!
I train and groom and show dogs.
I love to cook (can't with the sink and range and oven out though!!!)
I'm pulling the upstairs bathtub out and getting a whole new bathroom when
I'm done with the kitchen!
I'm leaving in a week to take my son to camp in PA, then visiting friends in
NY for a few days.
Brenda's coming from Germany to stay for two weeks.
And all this as I'm pulling together the conference! Go figure.
To me, Unschooling is following your dreams and your desires. *Some* of mine
are listed above. There are others....many others! <g>
This lifestyle isn't *just* about my children. It's about me and my husband
and you and yours and ---it's about truly understanding that learning happens
all the time, no matter how old or young you are.
Our unschooling children need us to facilitate---to make it easy for them to
reach *their* dreams and goals, big ones and little ones. Adults that
understand this (and know that many do NOT!), go out and get what they want. Some of
those very adults believe that children are incapable of this. *WE* know
better! Children are quite capable of knowing what they want. It's our
responsibility as unschooling parents to help get them where they want to be---to reach
those dreams and desires.
I think too many people DON'T understand that a really good way to *do* this
is to model that very behavior. A mom and dad who rush the children to school,
go off to work, yell at the kids to get their homework done, send the kids
to bed, and then spend the evening watching tv while the children are in bed
are hardly the role models for learning and pursuing dreams.
My boys see me and my husband pursuing all sorts of new ventures DAILY. They
can't help it---we're all slammed together. Sometimes they have to wait while
I finish what I'm doing. Often they help me. More often *I* wait while THEY
finish what they're doing. Often I help them.
I think Type A's make GREAT unschoolers. There have been people that have
come on this list complaining that they are too laid back to unschool (type Bs).
*I* (the type A) tend to think that *that's* a bigger hindrance to unschooling
than a real go-getter. But I think that if you understand unschooling (and
the lifestyle), you can certainly unschool whether you're ABCD or E!
If she *wants* to unschool, she can. If she doesn't, she won't be able to.
She sounds like someone who could really inspire her children. Maybe your "A
daughter" could hang out with her more! <g>
She'd have to get used to less money. More joy, but less money. It's doable! <
g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> In a message dated 5/21/03 11:09:36 PM, ynxn96@... writes:I was putting off reponding until I read all the other posts. Had to laugh
>
> << I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting, but
> it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
> artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
> Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
> predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
>
> Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
> So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
> So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
out loud and go ahead after reading THIS response! Thanks Sandra!
Yes. I'm type A with a capital A! (I don't make the money anymore either.)
Tell her that she's the type who'd be putting on conferences!
I tiled my kitchen counter & backsplash yesterday! Grouting today.
I'm a gardening FOOL!
I want BEES!
I train and groom and show dogs.
I love to cook (can't with the sink and range and oven out though!!!)
I'm pulling the upstairs bathtub out and getting a whole new bathroom when
I'm done with the kitchen!
I'm leaving in a week to take my son to camp in PA, then visiting friends in
NY for a few days.
Brenda's coming from Germany to stay for two weeks.
And all this as I'm pulling together the conference! Go figure.
To me, Unschooling is following your dreams and your desires. *Some* of mine
are listed above. There are others....many others! <g>
This lifestyle isn't *just* about my children. It's about me and my husband
and you and yours and ---it's about truly understanding that learning happens
all the time, no matter how old or young you are.
Our unschooling children need us to facilitate---to make it easy for them to
reach *their* dreams and goals, big ones and little ones. Adults that
understand this (and know that many do NOT!), go out and get what they want. Some of
those very adults believe that children are incapable of this. *WE* know
better! Children are quite capable of knowing what they want. It's our
responsibility as unschooling parents to help get them where they want to be---to reach
those dreams and desires.
I think too many people DON'T understand that a really good way to *do* this
is to model that very behavior. A mom and dad who rush the children to school,
go off to work, yell at the kids to get their homework done, send the kids
to bed, and then spend the evening watching tv while the children are in bed
are hardly the role models for learning and pursuing dreams.
My boys see me and my husband pursuing all sorts of new ventures DAILY. They
can't help it---we're all slammed together. Sometimes they have to wait while
I finish what I'm doing. Often they help me. More often *I* wait while THEY
finish what they're doing. Often I help them.
I think Type A's make GREAT unschoolers. There have been people that have
come on this list complaining that they are too laid back to unschool (type Bs).
*I* (the type A) tend to think that *that's* a bigger hindrance to unschooling
than a real go-getter. But I think that if you understand unschooling (and
the lifestyle), you can certainly unschool whether you're ABCD or E!
If she *wants* to unschool, she can. If she doesn't, she won't be able to.
She sounds like someone who could really inspire her children. Maybe your "A
daughter" could hang out with her more! <g>
She'd have to get used to less money. More joy, but less money. It's doable! <
g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BADOLBILZ
Fetteroll wrote:
hold her enough. If I do the massage thing, though, I'll have to
schedule in time for everyone else, too. They won't want to miss out on
that.
Her biggest thing has been that she wants me to lay down with her every
night. I don't mind that at all, it's just that the 2 1/2 yr old gets
tired first and I lay down with her. Then the 5 yr old immediately
wants me, right then, to lay with her. I've explained to Elysia that
she could just play quietly with her older sister, Aislinn, until
Soleille fell asleep, but she insists I need to lay with her right then.
For a few nights, she's slept at the foot of Soleille's bed, but it's a
twin and quite crowded with four of us then (baby Leiren, too.) Then
for the last two nights Aislinn, 7, has developed a sharp back pain just
as all this is going on. It miraculously goes away if I lay with her.
So obviously they all want me and I'm so torn about what to do. All
this is with no set schedule for bedtime either. My sister says they
are desperate for a set, scheduled bedtime and that is why they are
manipulating me so much. I think they want attention. It's just that
I'm with them all day and I look forward to some time alone at night and
lately, by the time I go through this with all of them it's SO late and
I'm exhausted. Well, I'll try anything to get this going smoothly.
Thanks for your advice. HeidiC.
> and then rubbing her back with oil eachJoyce, a massage is a good idea. She told me last night that I don't
>night before she goes to bed.
>Joyce
>
hold her enough. If I do the massage thing, though, I'll have to
schedule in time for everyone else, too. They won't want to miss out on
that.
Her biggest thing has been that she wants me to lay down with her every
night. I don't mind that at all, it's just that the 2 1/2 yr old gets
tired first and I lay down with her. Then the 5 yr old immediately
wants me, right then, to lay with her. I've explained to Elysia that
she could just play quietly with her older sister, Aislinn, until
Soleille fell asleep, but she insists I need to lay with her right then.
For a few nights, she's slept at the foot of Soleille's bed, but it's a
twin and quite crowded with four of us then (baby Leiren, too.) Then
for the last two nights Aislinn, 7, has developed a sharp back pain just
as all this is going on. It miraculously goes away if I lay with her.
So obviously they all want me and I'm so torn about what to do. All
this is with no set schedule for bedtime either. My sister says they
are desperate for a set, scheduled bedtime and that is why they are
manipulating me so much. I think they want attention. It's just that
I'm with them all day and I look forward to some time alone at night and
lately, by the time I go through this with all of them it's SO late and
I'm exhausted. Well, I'll try anything to get this going smoothly.
Thanks for your advice. HeidiC.
BADOLBILZ
Well, I promised to just sit and not say a word. I'm not sure I can
actually do that. All in all, my family is supportive, but if I try to
explain something or discuss this, they say I'm getting defensive. I
know I am a little, but it's also the truth that they don't want to hear
a reply or learn more about it, they just want to tell me what can go
wrong. I'm not good at the meek little mouse routine. I don't know how
silent I can be. HeidiC.
genant2@... wrote:
actually do that. All in all, my family is supportive, but if I try to
explain something or discuss this, they say I'm getting defensive. I
know I am a little, but it's also the truth that they don't want to hear
a reply or learn more about it, they just want to tell me what can go
wrong. I'm not good at the meek little mouse routine. I don't know how
silent I can be. HeidiC.
genant2@... wrote:
>In a message dated 5/22/03 1:09:40 AM Eastern Daylight Time,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>ynxn96@... writes:
>
>
>
>>She brought up the family's concerns
>>about the fact that I won't listen to their concerns.
>>
>>
>
>I am sure there are others who can answer your specific questions better but
>I wanted to make one comment. Don't you hate when one person speaks for
>everyone. I hate that. One family member speaks for "the rest of the family." I
>wish everyone would speak for themselves and bring their individual concerns
>to the table to discuss. When one speaks for everyone you know it is because
>they want you to change not because they want to talk about it and learn more
>about it, whatever the "it" is.
>Just one of my pet peeves.
>Pam G.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
>
>
Paula Sjogerman
on 5/22/03 7:48 AM, BADOLBILZ at ynxn96@... wrote:
our bed and then transfer her when she was asleep. Maybe you can snuggle
more comfortably with lots of them at once that way.
Paula
> For a few nights, she's slept at the foot of Soleille's bed, but it's aIs there a bigger bed you can do bedtime in? We used to lay down with Zoe in
> twin and quite crowded with four of us then (baby Leiren, too.)
our bed and then transfer her when she was asleep. Maybe you can snuggle
more comfortably with lots of them at once that way.
Paula
Kelli Traaseth
Heidi,
My dd also went through a crying before bedtime phase, and I think it was
adjusting to a new lifestyle. We needed to just figure out what worked for
her. Laying with her, letting her talk about her day and then talking
with her about how she is feeling worked for her.
I think she is more of a schedule type of a person too.
Kelli~
My dd also went through a crying before bedtime phase, and I think it was
adjusting to a new lifestyle. We needed to just figure out what worked for
her. Laying with her, letting her talk about her day and then talking
with her about how she is feeling worked for her.
I think she is more of a schedule type of a person too.
Kelli~
----- Original Message -----
From: "BADOLBILZ" <ynxn96@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 7:16 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] personality and unschooling
>
>
> SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> >Each night we talk about what each of us has scheduled, commited to, or
> >wished for the next day, and we kind of sketch out the day, like who's
waking up when, who's sleeping in, who's expecting a call, who's having
company, etc.
> >
> >Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family
and that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
> >
>
BADOLBILZ
Paula Sjogerman wrote:
our library. The problem with that is Soleille, the 2 1/2 yr old, only
wants to sleep in her bed. But it's been awhile since I've tried so
we'll try that, too. Thanks. HeidiC.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>on 5/22/03 7:48 AM, BADOLBILZ at ynxn96@... wrote:Paula, I've thought of that. Our bed is a queen and we have a full in
>
>
>
>>For a few nights, she's slept at the foot of Soleille's bed, but it's a
>>twin and quite crowded with four of us then (baby Leiren, too.)
>>
>>
>
>
>Is there a bigger bed you can do bedtime in? We used to lay down with Zoe in
>our bed and then transfer her when she was asleep. Maybe you can snuggle
>more comfortably with lots of them at once that way.
>
>Paula
>
our library. The problem with that is Soleille, the 2 1/2 yr old, only
wants to sleep in her bed. But it's been awhile since I've tried so
we'll try that, too. Thanks. HeidiC.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelli Traaseth
Kelly,
Thanks for this post, I'm printing it! I have a good friend who just
started homeschooling and she is definitely a type A and questions whether
she could unschool. Although she says she doesn't need a curriculum,
YAAHH! She worries about getting 'her' things accomplished. I'll show
her what you do and she'll be amazed!
Kelli~
Thanks for this post, I'm printing it! I have a good friend who just
started homeschooling and she is definitely a type A and questions whether
she could unschool. Although she says she doesn't need a curriculum,
YAAHH! She worries about getting 'her' things accomplished. I'll show
her what you do and she'll be amazed!
Kelli~
----- Original Message -----
From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 7:44 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] personality and unschooling
> In a message dated 5/22/2003 1:34:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> SandraDodd@... writes:
> > In a message dated 5/21/03 11:09:36 PM, ynxn96@... writes:
> >
> > << I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting,
but
> > it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
> > artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
> > Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
> > predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
> >
> > Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
> > So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
> > So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
>
> I was putting off reponding until I read all the other posts. Had to laugh
> out loud and go ahead after reading THIS response! Thanks Sandra!
>
> Yes. I'm type A with a capital A! (I don't make the money anymore either.)
>
> Tell her that she's the type who'd be putting on conferences!
>
> I tiled my kitchen counter & backsplash yesterday! Grouting today.
> I'm a gardening FOOL!
> I want BEES!
> I train and groom and show dogs.
> I love to cook (can't with the sink and range and oven out though!!!)
> I'm pulling the upstairs bathtub out and getting a whole new bathroom when
> I'm done with the kitchen!
> I'm leaving in a week to take my son to camp in PA, then visiting friends
in
> NY for a few days.
> Brenda's coming from Germany to stay for two weeks.
> And all this as I'm pulling together the conference! Go figure.
>
> To me, Unschooling is following your dreams and your desires. *Some* of
mine
> are listed above. There are others....many others! <g>
> This lifestyle isn't *just* about my children. It's about me and my
husband
> and you and yours and ---it's about truly understanding that learning
happens
> all the time, no matter how old or young you are.
>
> Our unschooling children need us to facilitate---to make it easy for them
to
> reach *their* dreams and goals, big ones and little ones. Adults that
> understand this (and know that many do NOT!), go out and get what they
want. Some of
> those very adults believe that children are incapable of this. *WE* know
> better! Children are quite capable of knowing what they want. It's our
> responsibility as unschooling parents to help get them where they want to
be---to reach
> those dreams and desires.
>
> I think too many people DON'T understand that a really good way to *do*
this
> is to model that very behavior. A mom and dad who rush the children to
school,
> go off to work, yell at the kids to get their homework done, send the
kids
> to bed, and then spend the evening watching tv while the children are in
bed
> are hardly the role models for learning and pursuing dreams.
>
> My boys see me and my husband pursuing all sorts of new ventures DAILY.
They
> can't help it---we're all slammed together. Sometimes they have to wait
while
> I finish what I'm doing. Often they help me. More often *I* wait while
THEY
> finish what they're doing. Often I help them.
>
> I think Type A's make GREAT unschoolers. There have been people that have
> come on this list complaining that they are too laid back to unschool
(type Bs).
> *I* (the type A) tend to think that *that's* a bigger hindrance to
unschooling
> than a real go-getter. But I think that if you understand unschooling (and
> the lifestyle), you can certainly unschool whether you're ABCD or E!
>
> If she *wants* to unschool, she can. If she doesn't, she won't be able to.
> She sounds like someone who could really inspire her children. Maybe your
"A
> daughter" could hang out with her more! <g>
>
> She'd have to get used to less money. More joy, but less money. It's
doable! <
> g>
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
Kelli Traaseth
Heidi,
I used to get defensive too, when we started unschooling. I bet you'll
get better. As things get more clear in your mind and you've done all your
research, the verbage will just flow from your mouth. You'll take a slow
nice breath and all will be well.
As far as if they aren't willing to listen, well then you just change the
subject.
If they still don't stop pestering, say "read these articles, when you're
done, then we'll talk". This has worked for me.
Kelli~
I used to get defensive too, when we started unschooling. I bet you'll
get better. As things get more clear in your mind and you've done all your
research, the verbage will just flow from your mouth. You'll take a slow
nice breath and all will be well.
As far as if they aren't willing to listen, well then you just change the
subject.
If they still don't stop pestering, say "read these articles, when you're
done, then we'll talk". This has worked for me.
Kelli~
----- Original Message -----
From: "BADOLBILZ" <ynxn96@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 7:52 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] personality and unschooling
> Well, I promised to just sit and not say a word. I'm not sure I can
> actually do that. All in all, my family is supportive, but if I try to
> explain something or discuss this, they say I'm getting defensive. I
> know I am a little, but it's also the truth that they don't want to hear
> a reply or learn more about it, they just want to tell me what can go
> wrong. I'm not good at the meek little mouse routine. I don't know how
> silent I can be. HeidiC.
>
cris trainor
>Time alone? with four dds under 7? <BWG>with raised eyebrows...
>Her biggest thing has been that she wants me to lay down with her every
>night. I don't mind that at all, it's just that the 2 1/2 yr old gets
>tired first and I lay down with her. Then the 5 yr old immediately
>wants me, right then, to lay with her. I've explained to Elysia that
>she could just play quietly with her older sister, Aislinn, until
>Soleille fell asleep, but she insists I need to lay with her right then.
> For a few nights, she's slept at the foot of Soleille's bed, but it's a
>twin and quite crowded with four of us then (baby Leiren, too.) Then
>for the last two nights Aislinn, 7, has developed a sharp back pain just
>as all this is going on. It miraculously goes away if I lay with her.
> So obviously they all want me and I'm so torn about what to do. All
>this is with no set schedule for bedtime either. My sister says they
>are desperate for a set, scheduled bedtime and that is why they are
>manipulating me so much. I think they want attention. It's just that
>I'm with them all day and I look forward to some time alone at night and
>lately, by the time I go through this with all of them it's SO late and
>I'm exhausted. Well, I'll try anything to get this going smoothly.
>
>Thanks for your advice. HeidiC.
How about a room full of mattresses on the floor with room for everyone, and
a "train" style massage: mom does Aislinn, she does Elysia, she does
Soleille, she does Leiren; then everyone lies down together for lullabies
and sleeping. I have twins, now 9, and a 15, and an 18. When the twins
were infants and nursed constantly the older kids were often starved for
attention. Lying together at bedtime, whenever that might be <g> worked
wonders. Occasionally I didn't fall asleep with them <g> and got up for
some private time. But mostly I needed the sleep more than the solitude, a
situation I've more than made up for as they've all gotten older and
extremely self-confident and independent!
BTW, I lurk here and at unschoolingdotdomedy (love that!) and consider these
lists my lifeline to the ultimate unschooling lifestyle! Thank you all!
�..� ���)) -:�:-
�.�� .����))
((��.�� ..�� -:�:-shine on!
-:�:- ((��.��*
cris
................................................................................................................................................
>_________________________________________________________________
Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 10:14:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
ynxn96@... writes:
bed but still feel more connected.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ynxn96@... writes:
> Paula, I've thought of that. Our bed is a queen and we have a full inHow big is her bed. Could you move it into your room so she can sleep in her
> our library. The problem with that is Soleille, the 2 1/2 yr old, only
> wants to sleep in her bed. But it's been awhile since I've tried so
> we'll try that, too. Thanks. HeidiC.
>
>
>
>
bed but still feel more connected.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BADOLBILZ
Kelly, I just read what you wrote to my sis over the phone and she
immediately asked me to forward it to her. She has a lot of stress due
to self-doubt and what you said really made her feel good. Thank you so
much! I'd love it if she would try to make some lifestyle changes, if
only for her own health and happiness. HeidiC.
Kelli Traaseth wrote:
immediately asked me to forward it to her. She has a lot of stress due
to self-doubt and what you said really made her feel good. Thank you so
much! I'd love it if she would try to make some lifestyle changes, if
only for her own health and happiness. HeidiC.
Kelli Traaseth wrote:
>Kelly,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>Thanks for this post, I'm printing it! I have a good friend who just
>started homeschooling and she is definitely a type A and questions whether
>she could unschool. Although she says she doesn't need a curriculum,
>YAAHH! She worries about getting 'her' things accomplished. I'll show
>her what you do and she'll be amazed!
>
>Kelli~
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: <kbcdlovejo@...>
>To: <[email protected]>
>Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 7:44 AM
>Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] personality and unschooling
>
>
>
>
>>In a message dated 5/22/2003 1:34:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
>>SandraDodd@... writes:
>>
>>
>>>In a message dated 5/21/03 11:09:36 PM, ynxn96@... writes:
>>>
>>><< I am a very type b personality (yes, I really do hate typecasting,
>>>
>>>
>but
>
>
>>>it fits me mostly). I hate to rush, I've always been very creative,
>>>artistic, yada yada yada. That's me. She is type a, hyper, has taken
>>>Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
>>>predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none. >>
>>>
>>>Except for the making lots of money part, I'm like your sister.
>>>So is Pam Sorooshian (prob'ly minus the Prozac).
>>>So is Kelly Lovejoy (seemed to me, in the nearly-a-week I was there).
>>>
>>>
>>I was putting off reponding until I read all the other posts. Had to laugh
>>out loud and go ahead after reading THIS response! Thanks Sandra!
>>
>>Yes. I'm type A with a capital A! (I don't make the money anymore either.)
>>
>>Tell her that she's the type who'd be putting on conferences!
>>
>>I tiled my kitchen counter & backsplash yesterday! Grouting today.
>>I'm a gardening FOOL!
>>I want BEES!
>>I train and groom and show dogs.
>>I love to cook (can't with the sink and range and oven out though!!!)
>>I'm pulling the upstairs bathtub out and getting a whole new bathroom when
>>I'm done with the kitchen!
>>I'm leaving in a week to take my son to camp in PA, then visiting friends
>>
>>
>in
>
>
>>NY for a few days.
>>Brenda's coming from Germany to stay for two weeks.
>>And all this as I'm pulling together the conference! Go figure.
>>
>>To me, Unschooling is following your dreams and your desires. *Some* of
>>
>>
>mine
>
>
>>are listed above. There are others....many others! <g>
>>This lifestyle isn't *just* about my children. It's about me and my
>>
>>
>husband
>
>
>>and you and yours and ---it's about truly understanding that learning
>>
>>
>happens
>
>
>>all the time, no matter how old or young you are.
>>
>>Our unschooling children need us to facilitate---to make it easy for them
>>
>>
>to
>
>
>>reach *their* dreams and goals, big ones and little ones. Adults that
>>understand this (and know that many do NOT!), go out and get what they
>>
>>
>want. Some of
>
>
>>those very adults believe that children are incapable of this. *WE* know
>>better! Children are quite capable of knowing what they want. It's our
>>responsibility as unschooling parents to help get them where they want to
>>
>>
>be---to reach
>
>
>>those dreams and desires.
>>
>>I think too many people DON'T understand that a really good way to *do*
>>
>>
>this
>
>
>>is to model that very behavior. A mom and dad who rush the children to
>>
>>
>school,
>
>
>> go off to work, yell at the kids to get their homework done, send the
>>
>>
>kids
>
>
>>to bed, and then spend the evening watching tv while the children are in
>>
>>
>bed
>
>
>>are hardly the role models for learning and pursuing dreams.
>>
>>My boys see me and my husband pursuing all sorts of new ventures DAILY.
>>
>>
>They
>
>
>>can't help it---we're all slammed together. Sometimes they have to wait
>>
>>
>while
>
>
>>I finish what I'm doing. Often they help me. More often *I* wait while
>>
>>
>THEY
>
>
>>finish what they're doing. Often I help them.
>>
>>I think Type A's make GREAT unschoolers. There have been people that have
>>come on this list complaining that they are too laid back to unschool
>>
>>
>(type Bs).
>
>
>>*I* (the type A) tend to think that *that's* a bigger hindrance to
>>
>>
>unschooling
>
>
>>than a real go-getter. But I think that if you understand unschooling (and
>>the lifestyle), you can certainly unschool whether you're ABCD or E!
>>
>>If she *wants* to unschool, she can. If she doesn't, she won't be able to.
>>She sounds like someone who could really inspire her children. Maybe your
>>
>>
>"A
>
>
>>daughter" could hang out with her more! <g>
>>
>>She'd have to get used to less money. More joy, but less money. It's
>>
>>
>doable! <
>
>
>>g>
>>
>>~Kelly
>>
>>
>>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>
>>
>>
>>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>>[email protected]
>>
>>
>>
>>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 5:32:12 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
ynxn96@... writes:
This may not even matter, but does your sister have children of her own?
Rhonda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ynxn96@... writes:
> My sister says theyHeidi,
> are desperate for a set, scheduled bedtime and that is why they are
> manipulating me so much.
This may not even matter, but does your sister have children of her own?
Rhonda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BADOLBILZ
Thanks Kelli. I have been reading loads of material, highlighting,
rereading. I want to be able to throw quotes like a Superbowl
quarterback! So far, I haven't done well verbalizing what we're doing
and it doesn't help my case, so keeping my mouth shut would be a good
idea for the time being. I did tell my mil that I wouldn't discuss it
with her unless she was willing to learn more about it. This was after
she tried to tell me how awful it all was. She hasn't said a word about
it since.
Thanks for the support. I'd really be out in left field without all of
you. (Okay, I'll stop with the sports analogies!) Now if only I could
actually meet you all! My fingers are crossed. HeidiC.
Kelli Traaseth wrote:
rereading. I want to be able to throw quotes like a Superbowl
quarterback! So far, I haven't done well verbalizing what we're doing
and it doesn't help my case, so keeping my mouth shut would be a good
idea for the time being. I did tell my mil that I wouldn't discuss it
with her unless she was willing to learn more about it. This was after
she tried to tell me how awful it all was. She hasn't said a word about
it since.
Thanks for the support. I'd really be out in left field without all of
you. (Okay, I'll stop with the sports analogies!) Now if only I could
actually meet you all! My fingers are crossed. HeidiC.
Kelli Traaseth wrote:
>Heidi,
>
>I used to get defensive too, when we started unschooling. I bet you'll
>get better. As things get more clear in your mind and you've done all your
>research, the verbage will just flow from your mouth. You'll take a slow
>nice breath and all will be well.
>
>As far as if they aren't willing to listen, well then you just change the
>subject.
>
>If they still don't stop pestering, say "read these articles, when you're
>done, then we'll talk". This has worked for me.
>
>Kelli~
>
>
>
>
Kate Green
At 08:48 AM 5/22/03 -0400, you wrote:
since the baby was born 5 months ago. They just want more touch during
these changes. But I think it's great that he (and your daughter) can
identify their needs and then reach out to get us to help them. I think
lots of kids aren't able to do that (and adults).
As others have said, can you guys get a big bed or put a couple together?
We've always had the kids all around or in the main bed -- I always think
it's a bit like a giant dog bed with lots of puppies sprawled around (plus
we usually have a couple of dogs and a cat in there as well:)
Then perhaps you could all go to bed together. Have some massages, read
some books, even watch a short show, and then let them snuggle off
together. Then you can get up or, as I do sometimes, have the light on low
and read near them. It really is important to have that time you need for
yourself but perhaps if they are all in together then they'll proved the
reassurance for each other.
When I was pregnant we got a new free Arab channel that came on in our
bedroom tv. Every night at 9:30 Friends is on. All my kids climb into bed
with the baby and me and it's this really nice time together. Afterwards
the older 2 chat then wander off to do whatever they do in the middle of
the night (teens:) and the 8 year old and baby go off to sleep. A couple of
nights ago, my 15-year-old didn't realize what time it was and so didn't
come in. Later I could see he was upset and I apologized but reassured him
that he'd seen that episode. He looked at me as if I were crazy and said
"it's not the show mom, it's just kinda relaxing all being together"
Needless to say I was very happy.
Now I just have to figure out if we can all keep watching Friends in the US
this summer (here apparantly there are many scenes that are cut so I don't
really know what it's fully like:)
Kate
> Fetteroll wrote:My 8-year-old now wants me to tickle him and wrestle with him much more
>
>> and then rubbing her back with oil each
>>night before she goes to bed.
>>Joyce
>>
>
since the baby was born 5 months ago. They just want more touch during
these changes. But I think it's great that he (and your daughter) can
identify their needs and then reach out to get us to help them. I think
lots of kids aren't able to do that (and adults).
As others have said, can you guys get a big bed or put a couple together?
We've always had the kids all around or in the main bed -- I always think
it's a bit like a giant dog bed with lots of puppies sprawled around (plus
we usually have a couple of dogs and a cat in there as well:)
Then perhaps you could all go to bed together. Have some massages, read
some books, even watch a short show, and then let them snuggle off
together. Then you can get up or, as I do sometimes, have the light on low
and read near them. It really is important to have that time you need for
yourself but perhaps if they are all in together then they'll proved the
reassurance for each other.
When I was pregnant we got a new free Arab channel that came on in our
bedroom tv. Every night at 9:30 Friends is on. All my kids climb into bed
with the baby and me and it's this really nice time together. Afterwards
the older 2 chat then wander off to do whatever they do in the middle of
the night (teens:) and the 8 year old and baby go off to sleep. A couple of
nights ago, my 15-year-old didn't realize what time it was and so didn't
come in. Later I could see he was upset and I apologized but reassured him
that he'd seen that episode. He looked at me as if I were crazy and said
"it's not the show mom, it's just kinda relaxing all being together"
Needless to say I was very happy.
Now I just have to figure out if we can all keep watching Friends in the US
this summer (here apparantly there are many scenes that are cut so I don't
really know what it's fully like:)
Kate
BADOLBILZ
I'll try the train massage. It sounds nice but I can't help picturing
it turning into a huge ticklefest. But that would be nice, too. I do
keep reminding myself that they are only little for a short time and I
need to savor our lives together. I picture myself older, looking back
and missing these very moments. Thanks. HeidiC.
cris trainor wrote:
it turning into a huge ticklefest. But that would be nice, too. I do
keep reminding myself that they are only little for a short time and I
need to savor our lives together. I picture myself older, looking back
and missing these very moments. Thanks. HeidiC.
cris trainor wrote:
>time alone? with four dds under 7? <BWG>with raised eyebrows...[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>How about a room full of mattresses on the floor with room for everyone, and
>a "train" style massage: mom does Aislinn, she does Elysia, she does
>Soleille, she does Leiren; then everyone lies down together for lullabies
>and sleeping. I have twins, now 9, and a 15, and an 18. When the twins
>were infants and nursed constantly the older kids were often starved for
>attention. Lying together at bedtime, whenever that might be <g> worked
>wonders. Occasionally I didn't fall asleep with them <g> and got up for
>some private time. But mostly I needed the sleep more than the solitude, a
>situation I've more than made up for as they've all gotten older and
>extremely self-confident and independent!
>
>BTW, I lurk here and at unschoolingdotdomedy (love that!) and consider these
>lists my lifeline to the ultimate unschooling lifestyle! Thank you all!
>
>
>¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
>¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
>((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-shine on!
>-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*
>cris
>
>
>
>
>
>
>.................................................................................................................................................
>
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BADOLBILZ
genant2@... wrote:
girls want what the others have. I think I'm going to have to convince
Soleille (2 1/2) to fall asleep with the other girls in our bed and then
move everyone once they are asleep. Meanwhile, I'll have get them all
asleep before dh wants to go to bed. I really hope I get all this
worked out soon. Thanks for thinking on it for me. HeidiC.
>How big is her bed. Could you move it into your room so she can sleep in herPam, Our room is very small with just the bed in it. Besides, all the
>bed but still feel more connected.
>Pam G
>
girls want what the others have. I think I'm going to have to convince
Soleille (2 1/2) to fall asleep with the other girls in our bed and then
move everyone once they are asleep. Meanwhile, I'll have get them all
asleep before dh wants to go to bed. I really hope I get all this
worked out soon. Thanks for thinking on it for me. HeidiC.
Kate Green
> Meanwhile, I'll have get them allMight not work for you guys but could he sleep in the small bed for awhile
>asleep before dh wants to go to bed. I really hope I get all this
>worked out soon. Thanks for thinking on it for me. HeidiC.
>
(you could join him every now and then:)
This has worked for us over the years. It's such a culturally bound idea
that the mother and father sleep in one bed and kids in another. I think we
need to get over that idea and just figure out what works for our own
individual family over time (and this changes constantly). Plus of course
you get a break from snoring!!
Kate
BADOLBILZ
Yes, Rhonda, she has a 2 1/2 yr old girl and a 10 mnth boy. They are
VERY scheduled because my sister's daycare told her she HAD to get and
keep them on the daycare schedule. I'd really love to see her get her
kids out of there. Of course, she thinks the place is great. HeidiC.
rjhill241@... wrote:
VERY scheduled because my sister's daycare told her she HAD to get and
keep them on the daycare schedule. I'd really love to see her get her
kids out of there. Of course, she thinks the place is great. HeidiC.
rjhill241@... wrote:
>In a message dated 5/22/03 5:32:12 AM Pacific Daylight Time,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>ynxn96@... writes:
>
>
>
>>My sister says they
>>are desperate for a set, scheduled bedtime and that is why they are
>>manipulating me so much.
>>
>>
>
>Heidi,
>
>This may not even matter, but does your sister have children of her own?
>
>Rhonda
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/2003 12:09:36 AM Central Daylight Time,
ynxn96@... writes:
homeschool theater or storm the legislature. Their kids just follow along behind. Or
not. :)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ynxn96@... writes:
> She is type a, hyper, has takenBaloney. Type A's are the folks who start support groups or run the
> Prozac to calm down, huge career-woman, thrives on schedules and
> predictability. That's her. She makes lots of money. I make none.
> So...I come across unschooling and decide it's the best thing since
> sliced bread and jump off the high board. It suits me so much. It
> makes sense to me. She's wondering how someone like her could unschool
> successfully. Is it possible? She says it's fascinating, but someone
> like her just couldn't do it. What do you think?
>
homeschool theater or storm the legislature. Their kids just follow along behind. Or
not. :)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 4:02:48 AM, fetteroll@... writes:
<< As long as someone isn't into running other people's lives, then they can
unschool. >>
Or just concentrate on running OTHER people's lives!
For several years I had four to half a dozen adult SCA students who really
wanted pressure and guidance and close attention. There's an amount of thrill
there for a type-A interpersonal type. <g>
There was an even bigger thrill when they were promoted to my rank and I
could start merrily ignoring them! (They still fill me in on their life doings
and thoughts, but I can just smile and nod and say "cool!" or "huh."
There is also doing a newsletter or website. Control every little speck of
punctuation and spacing.
Event organization! Club management. Fundraising.
Sandra
<< As long as someone isn't into running other people's lives, then they can
unschool. >>
Or just concentrate on running OTHER people's lives!
For several years I had four to half a dozen adult SCA students who really
wanted pressure and guidance and close attention. There's an amount of thrill
there for a type-A interpersonal type. <g>
There was an even bigger thrill when they were promoted to my rank and I
could start merrily ignoring them! (They still fill me in on their life doings
and thoughts, but I can just smile and nod and say "cool!" or "huh."
There is also doing a newsletter or website. Control every little speck of
punctuation and spacing.
Event organization! Club management. Fundraising.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 5:27:26 AM, genant2@... writes:
<< One family member speaks for "the rest of the family." I
wish everyone would speak for themselves and bring their individual concerns
to the table to discuss. >>
I'd rather hear a spokesman than hear nobody.
Depending on the group, sometimes others are too afraid or volatile and don't
want to get angry in the conversation so they DO send one or another to speak
for the general mood.
Some people take it on themselves. Others are sent. <G>
<< When one speaks for everyone you know it is because
they want you to change not because they want to talk about it and learn more
about it, whatever the "it" is.>>
Sometimes it's because they want the rest of the group to hush up, and if
they can say "I talked to her, and she says X..." they WILL hush for a while. Or
at least she'll have something to say instead of "I have no idea."
Sandra
<< One family member speaks for "the rest of the family." I
wish everyone would speak for themselves and bring their individual concerns
to the table to discuss. >>
I'd rather hear a spokesman than hear nobody.
Depending on the group, sometimes others are too afraid or volatile and don't
want to get angry in the conversation so they DO send one or another to speak
for the general mood.
Some people take it on themselves. Others are sent. <G>
<< When one speaks for everyone you know it is because
they want you to change not because they want to talk about it and learn more
about it, whatever the "it" is.>>
Sometimes it's because they want the rest of the group to hush up, and if
they can say "I talked to her, and she says X..." they WILL hush for a while. Or
at least she'll have something to say instead of "I have no idea."
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 6:01:07 AM, ynxn96@... writes:
<< Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family
and that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
and the new baby, she's been feeling so powerless. Letting her feel she
has some control in how our days go should make her feel more in
control. We'll give it a go. >>
We have a big kitchen wall calendar, and I keep the ones from previous years
to check dates on things if necessary, and to transfer birthdays to the new
ones. We have room to write Kirby's work hours, and people's appointments.
It's a mess, but it works for us. They cost $12 or so at Office Max and such
places, and they have a big loop so you can take them down. Spiral bound so you
just turn the page but they're all still there. This time of year if they
still have any 2003 it would be half price or less.
Sandra
<< Maybe your schedule-happy daughter could help you chart the whole family
and that would satisfy her urge for order and knowledge.
>Sandra, that's a wonderful idea! I think between our lifestyle changes
and the new baby, she's been feeling so powerless. Letting her feel she
has some control in how our days go should make her feel more in
control. We'll give it a go. >>
We have a big kitchen wall calendar, and I keep the ones from previous years
to check dates on things if necessary, and to transfer birthdays to the new
ones. We have room to write Kirby's work hours, and people's appointments.
It's a mess, but it works for us. They cost $12 or so at Office Max and such
places, and they have a big loop so you can take them down. Spiral bound so you
just turn the page but they're all still there. This time of year if they
still have any 2003 it would be half price or less.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/22/03 6:35:40 AM, ynxn96@... writes:
<< Well, I promised to just sit and not say a word. I'm not sure I can
actually do that. All in all, my family is supportive, but if I try to
explain something or discuss this, they say I'm getting defensive. >>
Why should you just sit?
Maybe you could let them all state their concerns and you could take notes.
Taking notes helps me maintain still when I'm required to sit through some
meeting. It's not totally sitting and listening, which makes my head start to
spin out.
And afterward you could answer all their concerns in writing and give
everyone a copy. You could say in the summary report that you hesitate to explain
things to them because although you can sit and listen to them, they can't
listen to you without saying "defensive," and that you don't think that's right.
It might help them listen better in the future, too.
Sandra
<< Well, I promised to just sit and not say a word. I'm not sure I can
actually do that. All in all, my family is supportive, but if I try to
explain something or discuss this, they say I'm getting defensive. >>
Why should you just sit?
Maybe you could let them all state their concerns and you could take notes.
Taking notes helps me maintain still when I'm required to sit through some
meeting. It's not totally sitting and listening, which makes my head start to
spin out.
And afterward you could answer all their concerns in writing and give
everyone a copy. You could say in the summary report that you hesitate to explain
things to them because although you can sit and listen to them, they can't
listen to you without saying "defensive," and that you don't think that's right.
It might help them listen better in the future, too.
Sandra