geographical humor
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These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism
Website. A Melbourne University Tourism Studies Major working in the
summer holidays answered....
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,
so
how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them
die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list
of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings
Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in
Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
-----------
In New Mexico Magazine every month there is a page called "One of our Fifty
is Missing," about people (in other states, mostly) not knowing New Mexico is
part of the United States. It's really funny and kind of comforting. We're
largely invisible, like we've been sitting here camouflaged as...
invisibility, and populated by Europeans longer than any other state, too.
What fun.
The stories aren't online that I can find, but here's one (which was just two
paragraphs in the magazine, if it was in there):
http://www.edd.state.nm.us/NEWS/vol1_no5/missing.htm
Website. A Melbourne University Tourism Studies Major working in the
summer holidays answered....
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,
so
how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them
die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list
of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings
Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in
Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
-----------
In New Mexico Magazine every month there is a page called "One of our Fifty
is Missing," about people (in other states, mostly) not knowing New Mexico is
part of the United States. It's really funny and kind of comforting. We're
largely invisible, like we've been sitting here camouflaged as...
invisibility, and populated by Europeans longer than any other state, too.
What fun.
The stories aren't online that I can find, but here's one (which was just two
paragraphs in the magazine, if it was in there):
http://www.edd.state.nm.us/NEWS/vol1_no5/missing.htm
Joylyn
oh thank you for sending this, it was great.
I have been asked for my green card, asked if we have paved roads and
flush toilets, ask if I have to only drink bottled water, ask if I have
to go through customs, if I can bring back blankets or large hats, it's
amazing how stupid so many people are...
I have been asked for my green card, asked if we have paved roads and
flush toilets, ask if I have to only drink bottled water, ask if I have
to go through customs, if I can bring back blankets or large hats, it's
amazing how stupid so many people are...
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> -----------
> In New Mexico Magazine every month there is a page called "One of our
> Fifty
> is Missing," about people (in other states, mostly) not knowing New
> Mexico is
> part of the United States. It's really funny and kind of comforting.
> We're
> largely invisible, like we've been sitting here camouflaged as...
> invisibility, and populated by Europeans longer than any other state,
> too.
> What fun.
>
> The stories aren't online that I can find, but here's one (which was
> just two
> paragraphs in the magazine, if it was in there):
>
> http://www.edd.state.nm.us/NEWS/vol1_no5/missing.htm
>
>
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coyote's corner
Okay - here's my New Mexico story!
This past November, the fellow I but my sacred white sage from called me. He had to get 23 boxes of sage from Southern Calif. to NM. He usually used UPS, but he would bring the shipment to UPS - he couldn't bring this one, his car was broken. I had both a UPS & a Fed-Ex account.
The gentleman made the calls; with all the information regarding size, pick up address & destination.
He went w/ Fed-Ex.
It was 23 boxes of the exact same size - holding loose sage.
I called Fed-Ex - asked the same questions, got the same estimate and made the arrangements to have the sage picked up in So. Calif and trucked to NM. I was to be billed & have 30 days to pay for it.
A week or so later, my bank called - there was unusual activity on my account.
Fed-Ex was hitting my account for each box - and none of the amounts were for the price they had stated.
I called Fed-Ex.
I was on the phone - literally - for hours!
The woman I spoke to INSISTED that it was an international order - NM was NOT part of the US.
After all, she knew all 52 states!
Believe me, this went on for days!!
Two people at Fed-Ex told me that Calif to NM is international.
You have to wonder!!
Janis
This past November, the fellow I but my sacred white sage from called me. He had to get 23 boxes of sage from Southern Calif. to NM. He usually used UPS, but he would bring the shipment to UPS - he couldn't bring this one, his car was broken. I had both a UPS & a Fed-Ex account.
The gentleman made the calls; with all the information regarding size, pick up address & destination.
He went w/ Fed-Ex.
It was 23 boxes of the exact same size - holding loose sage.
I called Fed-Ex - asked the same questions, got the same estimate and made the arrangements to have the sage picked up in So. Calif and trucked to NM. I was to be billed & have 30 days to pay for it.
A week or so later, my bank called - there was unusual activity on my account.
Fed-Ex was hitting my account for each box - and none of the amounts were for the price they had stated.
I called Fed-Ex.
I was on the phone - literally - for hours!
The woman I spoke to INSISTED that it was an international order - NM was NOT part of the US.
After all, she knew all 52 states!
Believe me, this went on for days!!
Two people at Fed-Ex told me that Calif to NM is international.
You have to wonder!!
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Joylyn
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 9:11 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] geographical humor
oh thank you for sending this, it was great.
I have been asked for my green card, asked if we have paved roads and
flush toilets, ask if I have to only drink bottled water, ask if I have
to go through customs, if I can bring back blankets or large hats, it's
amazing how stupid so many people are...
>
>
> -----------
> In New Mexico Magazine every month there is a page called "One of our
> Fifty
> is Missing," about people (in other states, mostly) not knowing New
> Mexico is
> part of the United States. It's really funny and kind of comforting.
> We're
> largely invisible, like we've been sitting here camouflaged as...
> invisibility, and populated by Europeans longer than any other state,
> too.
> What fun.
>
> The stories aren't online that I can find, but here's one (which was
> just two
> paragraphs in the magazine, if it was in there):
>
> http://www.edd.state.nm.us/NEWS/vol1_no5/missing.htm
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/M=232617.3212172.4524785.2595810/D=egroupweb/S=1705542111:HM/A=1555962/R=0/*http://shop.store.yahoo.com/cgi-bin/clink?1800flowers2+shopping:dmad/M=232617.3212172.4524785.2595810/D=egroupweb/S=1705542111:HM/A=1555962/R=1/1051715869+http://us.rmi.yahoo.com/rmi/http://www.1800flowers.com/rmi-framed-url/http://www.1800flowers.com/cgi-bin/flowers/product.pl/MD01e84aF3GROUPSHMYH/1202>
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[email protected]
In a message dated 5/1/03 6:05:52 AM, janis@... writes:
<< The woman I spoke to INSISTED that it was an international order - NM was
NOT part of the US.
After all, she knew all 52 states!
Believe me, this went on for days!! >>
OH shit.
I would have just kept saying "You're an idiot, let me speak to your
supervisor," until I got someone who knew.
Or next time just call FedEx in Albuquerque and tell them to fax a map to
California! LOL!
(Or tell the FedEx guy in California to turn around and look at the map on
the wall, or at a zip code book, or in a phone book, where the area code maps
are, or...)
Sandra
<< The woman I spoke to INSISTED that it was an international order - NM was
NOT part of the US.
After all, she knew all 52 states!
Believe me, this went on for days!! >>
OH shit.
I would have just kept saying "You're an idiot, let me speak to your
supervisor," until I got someone who knew.
Or next time just call FedEx in Albuquerque and tell them to fax a map to
California! LOL!
(Or tell the FedEx guy in California to turn around and look at the map on
the wall, or at a zip code book, or in a phone book, where the area code maps
are, or...)
Sandra
nellebelle
You could have asked her to name the 52 states, since she knows them so well.
Mary Ellen
-----snip-----After all, she knew all 52 states!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Ellen
-----snip-----After all, she knew all 52 states!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/1/03 10:11:25 AM, nellebelle@... writes:
<< You could have asked her to name the 52 states, since she knows them so
well.
Mary Ellen
-----snip-----After all, she knew all 52 states! >>
HECK YES! Just ask her "and what were those last four or six?" (New Mexico
being #47 and who knows what she would need to pull out of her imagination
for #51 and #52; but if I were asleep and woke up and someone said "Name the
last two of the fifty-two states" I would think I had been in a coma and I
would say "Puerto Rico and Guam?" And then I would probably realize I was
having a freakish dream anyway and then go back to sleep.)
Sandra, contingency-plan woman, in exotic, invisible New Mexico
<< You could have asked her to name the 52 states, since she knows them so
well.
Mary Ellen
-----snip-----After all, she knew all 52 states! >>
HECK YES! Just ask her "and what were those last four or six?" (New Mexico
being #47 and who knows what she would need to pull out of her imagination
for #51 and #52; but if I were asleep and woke up and someone said "Name the
last two of the fifty-two states" I would think I had been in a coma and I
would say "Puerto Rico and Guam?" And then I would probably realize I was
having a freakish dream anyway and then go back to sleep.)
Sandra, contingency-plan woman, in exotic, invisible New Mexico
coyote's corner
Actually, I didn't think of that. My head was hurting.
Janis
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: nellebelle
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2003 12:08 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] geographical humor
You could have asked her to name the 52 states, since she knows them so well.
Mary Ellen
-----snip-----After all, she knew all 52 states!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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coyote's corner
Thinking back - I think that when this woman said this and then said it again - I was floored!
Towards the end of the conversation, I asked her how many family members have been on Jerry Springer.
Janis
Towards the end of the conversation, I asked her how many family members have been on Jerry Springer.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2003 11:47 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] geographical humor
In a message dated 5/1/03 6:05:52 AM, janis@... writes:
<< The woman I spoke to INSISTED that it was an international order - NM was
NOT part of the US.
After all, she knew all 52 states!
Believe me, this went on for days!! >>
OH shit.
I would have just kept saying "You're an idiot, let me speak to your
supervisor," until I got someone who knew.
Or next time just call FedEx in Albuquerque and tell them to fax a map to
California! LOL!
(Or tell the FedEx guy in California to turn around and look at the map on
the wall, or at a zip code book, or in a phone book, where the area code maps
are, or...)
Sandra
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