Re:Leaving kids alone
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/24/2003 6:01:58 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
very comfortable. He's responsible enough that I am not concerned about his
doing anything weird while he's alone. He's a kid who, I don't think, has
ever said he was bored, which is what leads to strange and potentially
dangerous activites.
That said, if he were in pain, I wouldn't leave him alone either. We also
didn't leave him alone until he was very clear that he was okay about
it...maybe a year ago?
Last fall I had to be away from home for over a month. His other two parents
(my partner and Julian's dad) worked out the places Julian needed to go,
etc., and he did choose to be home alone some of the time. But he also spent
a lot of time with Beth at work, mostly so he wouldn't be lonely.
From what you've said, I think when Brianna is not in pain, she'd probably be
fine for a few hours, if she feels comfortable with it. Obviously, leaving
your cell number and maybe the number of someone else is a good idea.
And you ARE wonderful and rare. :)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Thank you, I need to feel rare and wonderful today.Julian stays home alone for the occasional afternoon or evening, and he's
> Last evening, there was a benefit performance in Providence - it was a
> total fund raiser for the Station Fire Victims. I had two front row seats &
> back stage passes. Brianna couldn't go. She's in much pain due to a bruised
> tail bone. She &I got into a conversation about whether or not I should go,
> or more importantly - should she stay alone? I've only ever left her for -
> maybe an hour - tops. And that was when I was at the market - up the street
> - with a cell phone.
>
> Anyway, I didn't go.
> and I did feel bad - for a bit -
>
> The fact is Brianna is my prime responsibility - she's lots more important.
>
> But while we're on the subject - how old do you think a child should be
> before being left alone.?
>
very comfortable. He's responsible enough that I am not concerned about his
doing anything weird while he's alone. He's a kid who, I don't think, has
ever said he was bored, which is what leads to strange and potentially
dangerous activites.
That said, if he were in pain, I wouldn't leave him alone either. We also
didn't leave him alone until he was very clear that he was okay about
it...maybe a year ago?
Last fall I had to be away from home for over a month. His other two parents
(my partner and Julian's dad) worked out the places Julian needed to go,
etc., and he did choose to be home alone some of the time. But he also spent
a lot of time with Beth at work, mostly so he wouldn't be lonely.
From what you've said, I think when Brianna is not in pain, she'd probably be
fine for a few hours, if she feels comfortable with it. Obviously, leaving
your cell number and maybe the number of someone else is a good idea.
And you ARE wonderful and rare. :)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coyote's corner
Thanks so much. Raising Brianna is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
So many people comment on how "lucky Brianna is" to have me - so few see that this works both ways.
Frankly, I think I'm getting the better end of this.
Janis
So many people comment on how "lucky Brianna is" to have me - so few see that this works both ways.
Frankly, I think I'm getting the better end of this.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: KathrynJB@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2003 7:50 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re:Leaving kids alone
In a message dated 4/24/2003 6:01:58 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
> Thank you, I need to feel rare and wonderful today.
> Last evening, there was a benefit performance in Providence - it was a
> total fund raiser for the Station Fire Victims. I had two front row seats &
> back stage passes. Brianna couldn't go. She's in much pain due to a bruised
> tail bone. She &I got into a conversation about whether or not I should go,
> or more importantly - should she stay alone? I've only ever left her for -
> maybe an hour - tops. And that was when I was at the market - up the street
> - with a cell phone.
>
> Anyway, I didn't go.
> and I did feel bad - for a bit -
>
> The fact is Brianna is my prime responsibility - she's lots more important.
>
> But while we're on the subject - how old do you think a child should be
> before being left alone.?
>
Julian stays home alone for the occasional afternoon or evening, and he's
very comfortable. He's responsible enough that I am not concerned about his
doing anything weird while he's alone. He's a kid who, I don't think, has
ever said he was bored, which is what leads to strange and potentially
dangerous activites.
That said, if he were in pain, I wouldn't leave him alone either. We also
didn't leave him alone until he was very clear that he was okay about
it...maybe a year ago?
Last fall I had to be away from home for over a month. His other two parents
(my partner and Julian's dad) worked out the places Julian needed to go,
etc., and he did choose to be home alone some of the time. But he also spent
a lot of time with Beth at work, mostly so he wouldn't be lonely.
From what you've said, I think when Brianna is not in pain, she'd probably be
fine for a few hours, if she feels comfortable with it. Obviously, leaving
your cell number and maybe the number of someone else is a good idea.
And you ARE wonderful and rare. :)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Alan & Brenda Leonard
> Anyway just my 2 cents.....behave over there.I do TRY to behave. I realize that I'm more visable because of being a
foster parent for the army.
I do see the Army's point (and yours, Pam) about the Army sponsoring us in a
foreign country, etc. But the vast majority of the problems come from the
enlisted soldiers, not unsupervised-for-15-minutes 9 and 10 year old
children! The point I've been trying to make to the army is that when they
write a regulation like that (NO unsupervised time before 11 years, period),
they set kids up for failure. Children need chances to learn and build
trust with their parents. Turning 11 years old does NOT guarantee you know
anything about staying alone for 3 hours.
I've been asking the army to re-write the regulations in a way that would
acknowledge that while a child under a certain age (5 and under?) should
never be left alone, and that an older child (under 11, if they like)
shouldn't be left alone for hours, possibly the children in the middle
(6-10?) could be left alone for 15-30 minutes, WITH parental discretion. We
know our kids, and we also know we're responsible for their actions here.
Most people I talk to (and I have tallked to a lot of people here about this
issue) say it's not the long trips that irritate their kids, the kids
understand those. It's when you need to run over to the little shop 2
blocks away and grab some milk and bread, or go to a friend's apartment on
the other side of the road but out of sight for 10 minutes, drive another
child to an activity, etc. The kind of trips you'd make in the states and
possibly not have to think twice about, but living in housing, we have to
weigh the possibility that some nosy neighbor with nothing better to do
would report you for leaving your kids alone.
As my son gets older, I understand why so many people *don't* "behave",
because they trust their children and want to give them opportunity to be
trustworthy. But they live in fear of the Army's social services people,
and that's just wrong. IMHO.
brenda
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/25/03 4:34:23 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
abtleo@... writes:
many German, and other, civilians that come through the housing areas looking
for work. Like washing your car for 5 marks etc. Some are there to cause
trouble, they will charge 5 marks and when the job is done they will say it
was 50 marks and get the MPs involved etc. They will knock on doors and
things of that nature to find people and will basically harass you to get
work. I have seen them go up to kids to try to get money. I would hesitate
about leaving children alone in a military housing area unless it is closed.
Although I understand what you are saying, It would be nice to have a little
more room to make parental decisions on the issue. I never ran into that as
my boys were born in Germany but were 3 and 6 months when we left.
Anyway good luck on changing the regulation. If they even did consider
changing the regulation it takes so much that you will be long gone before
the change would go into effect. LOL
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
abtleo@... writes:
> The kind of trips you'd make in the states andAlso, having lived in several different housing areas in Germany, there are
> possibly not have to think twice about, but living in housing, we have to
> weigh the possibility that some nosy neighbor with nothing better to do
> would report you for leaving your kids alone.
>
>
many German, and other, civilians that come through the housing areas looking
for work. Like washing your car for 5 marks etc. Some are there to cause
trouble, they will charge 5 marks and when the job is done they will say it
was 50 marks and get the MPs involved etc. They will knock on doors and
things of that nature to find people and will basically harass you to get
work. I have seen them go up to kids to try to get money. I would hesitate
about leaving children alone in a military housing area unless it is closed.
Although I understand what you are saying, It would be nice to have a little
more room to make parental decisions on the issue. I never ran into that as
my boys were born in Germany but were 3 and 6 months when we left.
Anyway good luck on changing the regulation. If they even did consider
changing the regulation it takes so much that you will be long gone before
the change would go into effect. LOL
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Alan & Brenda Leonard
4/26/03 10:58:
In some ways, I think that's worse to live with, but it's safer that way, or
so they tell me. I have been here since August of 2001, and so much changed
with 9-11.
brenda
> I would hesitateAll housing areas and bases overseas are now closed, fenced, and guarded.
> about leaving children alone in a military housing area unless it is closed.
In some ways, I think that's worse to live with, but it's safer that way, or
so they tell me. I have been here since August of 2001, and so much changed
with 9-11.
brenda