So many things
Lisa Freese
I have just joined this group recently and have been
lurking for a couple of weeks but some of the recent
threads are so interesting I had to weigh in.
To Dee: Once more, and less adequately than has
already been said, you are on the right path--bonding
and growing; that's what it's all about. My DH can't
spell to save his life, nor does he write cursive
(except his signature), nor does he do many of the
things he "should." And he is the one home with our
children all day. Why? Because he is their father,
and except for me, loves our kids more than anyone
else on this planet. What other qualifications does
he need? Go for it!
To Pam: What a wonderful opportunity you have this
week to touch the mind of that 7 year old! Can you
bring him shopping with you? Barring that, get him to
help unpack the groceries and write up next week's
list, explaining why you do what you do. Maybe he
eats Lunchables and drinks Gatorade because that's
what his parents provide and he would never dream of
questioning them. Who knows?
To Heidi: My DH and I have four children (one from
DH's previous marriage) and when we moved overseas we
wrote our will. At the time, the best choice for
guardian was my SIL and her partner, but two years
later we have decided to change to my sister, with
another sister and her husband as our second choice.
They know how we feel about unschooling and they all
have said they will try to respect our wishes, but
realistically I can't expect they will be able to
unschool "the way we would." We are, however, leaving
a list of suggestions for them should they need to put
the children in school, such as searching for a
Waldorf or other alternative type of school, and
barring all else, to send them to Catholic school (if
nothing else, they'll get a foundation in their
faith--no snickering pls <g>). I don't necessarily
agree that family is the only or best way to go, but
because we are a Foreign Service family and tend to
move a lot, it is difficult to make the kinds of
lifelong friends we would make if we stayed in one
place. So family it is. My mother and MIL both
loudly and consistently object to our decision to
homeschool (we haven't quite let them in on the fact
that we actually unschool; I sent them some JT Gatto
material and pretty much blew their minds), so I am
not willing to leave the kids with them. That said, I
do want our children to know their grandparents and
aunts and uncles, and to have that family circle if
for some reason something should happen to DH and me.
As for my stepson, he is in PS in Denver with his
mother and will be 18 in just over 2 years. He is not
really our worry; his mother can take care of him if
something happens to my DH, and if something happens
to her, he likely would go with her parents since they
live in Denver as well (our family is in Chicago).
So many choices. Sorry for the length of this post.
LisaF.
=====
Lisa Freese
"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." --Thomas Edison
__________________________________________________
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The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo
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lurking for a couple of weeks but some of the recent
threads are so interesting I had to weigh in.
To Dee: Once more, and less adequately than has
already been said, you are on the right path--bonding
and growing; that's what it's all about. My DH can't
spell to save his life, nor does he write cursive
(except his signature), nor does he do many of the
things he "should." And he is the one home with our
children all day. Why? Because he is their father,
and except for me, loves our kids more than anyone
else on this planet. What other qualifications does
he need? Go for it!
To Pam: What a wonderful opportunity you have this
week to touch the mind of that 7 year old! Can you
bring him shopping with you? Barring that, get him to
help unpack the groceries and write up next week's
list, explaining why you do what you do. Maybe he
eats Lunchables and drinks Gatorade because that's
what his parents provide and he would never dream of
questioning them. Who knows?
To Heidi: My DH and I have four children (one from
DH's previous marriage) and when we moved overseas we
wrote our will. At the time, the best choice for
guardian was my SIL and her partner, but two years
later we have decided to change to my sister, with
another sister and her husband as our second choice.
They know how we feel about unschooling and they all
have said they will try to respect our wishes, but
realistically I can't expect they will be able to
unschool "the way we would." We are, however, leaving
a list of suggestions for them should they need to put
the children in school, such as searching for a
Waldorf or other alternative type of school, and
barring all else, to send them to Catholic school (if
nothing else, they'll get a foundation in their
faith--no snickering pls <g>). I don't necessarily
agree that family is the only or best way to go, but
because we are a Foreign Service family and tend to
move a lot, it is difficult to make the kinds of
lifelong friends we would make if we stayed in one
place. So family it is. My mother and MIL both
loudly and consistently object to our decision to
homeschool (we haven't quite let them in on the fact
that we actually unschool; I sent them some JT Gatto
material and pretty much blew their minds), so I am
not willing to leave the kids with them. That said, I
do want our children to know their grandparents and
aunts and uncles, and to have that family circle if
for some reason something should happen to DH and me.
As for my stepson, he is in PS in Denver with his
mother and will be 18 in just over 2 years. He is not
really our worry; his mother can take care of him if
something happens to my DH, and if something happens
to her, he likely would go with her parents since they
live in Denver as well (our family is in Chicago).
So many choices. Sorry for the length of this post.
LisaF.
=====
Lisa Freese
"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." --Thomas Edison
__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo
http://search.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/24/03 6:48:04 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
mamajens2000@... writes:
LOL. I HATE GETTING UP EARLY. LOL. He does have freedoms around here but
has never had them at home so goes totally crazy. I really have to keep an
eye on things and redirect him. LOL. And, not sure if it is because he is a
public school child as mine were never in school, but he is so aggressive. I
have to watch and when he tries things I say that isn't how we do things
around here, we need to talk about it and work on it until we have a solution
that works for everyone. He is large for his age and I think he is used to
bullying (is that a word) his way around. Pushing, shoving, yanking, biting.
Very aggressive. And he will try to play with my oldest and leave the
youngest out of things. He is in between my boys. I try to play with them
so that we all can play. That sort of mentality.
The boys were playing in the family room yesterday, adjacent to the laundry
room. He started taking all the clean clothes and throwing them everywhere.
They were neatly stacked up. Not sure what that was about. He has not been
shown how to talk about things at all. So when you ask anything he shrugs his
shoulders and runs off. I had to step in and refold the clothes. My boys
helped some but they love this kid and really wanted to play, so I told them
to go on. I never make my boys help me but they could see how frustrated I
was. Anyway, this has been a trying week. But we are making it work. I
have decided the best idea is to take them somewhere. We have been going to
parks and museums etc. LOL I keep telling myself that all this is new for
him. He has never had a say in anything. His parents use punishment a lot
(spanking, taking things away etc).
It is making me grateful that we are who we are. That our family has found a
peaceful way to live and this child is really not having a negative effect on
my boys. They are still sweet, nice children.
When we were at play group he was trying to tell the boys (all of them) to
chase the girls and not to play with the girls and my boys stepped in and
introduced him and said that they wanted to all play together and they found
something that all of them could do.
Can't change the world in a week but at least he sees that things can be
different. He always wants to come over to play I have just never had him
for more than a day at a time before. Oh well I am rambling again. I seem
to be doing a lot of that. Gotta run. Going to the science center then to
yet another park.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mamajens2000@... writes:
> To Pam: What a wonderful opportunity you have thisGiving him the opportunity to have a voice is all I can muster right now.
> week to touch the mind of that 7 year old! Can you
> bring him shopping with you? Barring that, get him to
> help unpack the groceries and write up next week's
> list, explaining why you do what you do. Maybe he
> eats Lunchables and drinks Gatorade because that's
> what his parents provide and he would never dream of
> questioning them. Who knows?
>
>
LOL. I HATE GETTING UP EARLY. LOL. He does have freedoms around here but
has never had them at home so goes totally crazy. I really have to keep an
eye on things and redirect him. LOL. And, not sure if it is because he is a
public school child as mine were never in school, but he is so aggressive. I
have to watch and when he tries things I say that isn't how we do things
around here, we need to talk about it and work on it until we have a solution
that works for everyone. He is large for his age and I think he is used to
bullying (is that a word) his way around. Pushing, shoving, yanking, biting.
Very aggressive. And he will try to play with my oldest and leave the
youngest out of things. He is in between my boys. I try to play with them
so that we all can play. That sort of mentality.
The boys were playing in the family room yesterday, adjacent to the laundry
room. He started taking all the clean clothes and throwing them everywhere.
They were neatly stacked up. Not sure what that was about. He has not been
shown how to talk about things at all. So when you ask anything he shrugs his
shoulders and runs off. I had to step in and refold the clothes. My boys
helped some but they love this kid and really wanted to play, so I told them
to go on. I never make my boys help me but they could see how frustrated I
was. Anyway, this has been a trying week. But we are making it work. I
have decided the best idea is to take them somewhere. We have been going to
parks and museums etc. LOL I keep telling myself that all this is new for
him. He has never had a say in anything. His parents use punishment a lot
(spanking, taking things away etc).
It is making me grateful that we are who we are. That our family has found a
peaceful way to live and this child is really not having a negative effect on
my boys. They are still sweet, nice children.
When we were at play group he was trying to tell the boys (all of them) to
chase the girls and not to play with the girls and my boys stepped in and
introduced him and said that they wanted to all play together and they found
something that all of them could do.
Can't change the world in a week but at least he sees that things can be
different. He always wants to come over to play I have just never had him
for more than a day at a time before. Oh well I am rambling again. I seem
to be doing a lot of that. Gotta run. Going to the science center then to
yet another park.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kayb85
> To Heidi: My DH and I have four children (one fromDoes anyone else not have a will because they don't know who they
> DH's previous marriage) and when we moved overseas we
> wrote our will.
would want to leave their kids to?
Neither set of parents would unschool. Dh's parents would send them
to school. My parents might attempt homeschooling, in order to
respect our wishes, but I'm sure they would use some type of
curriculum. Maybe not super-structured, but I know they would have a
need to at least teach math traditionally!
Sheila
Bill and Diane
I've been thinking about our options quite a bit.
My MIL is sick and couldn't take the kids.
My parents shouldn't have them, but they're both retired schoolteachers
who don't understand or support what we're doing.
My older sis is childless by choice, and she and her dh are both sick.
My older bro is VERY religious and has two pre-teen girls who aren't
allowed to read Harry Potter. He'd probably get the kids :-(
I can't stand my younger brother, and while he's probably closer to us
(philosophically) than anyone else in the family, they're planning to
send their toddler to daycare "for socialization." Which says a lot.
Besides, I'd come haunt the whole family if he got my wonderful little ones.
We've been here only a year and don't have any prospects for alternate
parents here in Kentucky.
Brian's godparents are in Louisiana, and are more alternative than
anyone else in the running, and they both work and have their baby in
childcare.
I find the prospect of planning for the unspeakable to be unthinkable.
:-) Diane
My MIL is sick and couldn't take the kids.
My parents shouldn't have them, but they're both retired schoolteachers
who don't understand or support what we're doing.
My older sis is childless by choice, and she and her dh are both sick.
My older bro is VERY religious and has two pre-teen girls who aren't
allowed to read Harry Potter. He'd probably get the kids :-(
I can't stand my younger brother, and while he's probably closer to us
(philosophically) than anyone else in the family, they're planning to
send their toddler to daycare "for socialization." Which says a lot.
Besides, I'd come haunt the whole family if he got my wonderful little ones.
We've been here only a year and don't have any prospects for alternate
parents here in Kentucky.
Brian's godparents are in Louisiana, and are more alternative than
anyone else in the running, and they both work and have their baby in
childcare.
I find the prospect of planning for the unspeakable to be unthinkable.
:-) Diane
>Does anyone else not have a will because they don't know who they
>would want to leave their kids to?
>