[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/2003 2:11:27 PM Central Daylight Time,
ladymagic@... writes:

> and as for spelling her and i
> decided together that it could be a game and we write down words we
> spell wrong and we keep list short and play a game to teach both
> of us

You know...she can learn to spell when she's 80 if she wants. What I think
she needs is the educrats out of her life and time to HEAL. This is the
best opportunity you will ever have to give it to her. It sounds to me like
she would be better off leaving school today and learning about herself and
not what a bunch of people who do not love her or have her best interests
think she should learn.

You have an amazing, unique and sterling opportunity to present an awesome
gift to her. And that gift is simply time to BE. Take her out of school
TODAY. Bond with her by letting her be. Give her freedom to be who she is.
Let her be.

Good luck,
Tuck


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

Dee,
I don't have the answers for you - except this.
My son can't spell. He's working on his Bachelors degree; he's a Staff Sgt in the USAF; he's a homeowner, he volunteers at Hospice - see where I'm going w/ this??
You do not need to spell to home school.

When I talked to the school dept. here in East Providence, RI, I was sent to the Director of Curriculum's office. She said that I was unqualified. She handed me a stack of papers, a report - that report had to be 4" high!!!
"There - that's your daughters curriculum for this coming semester. Are you qualified to teach this?" she said.

I'll be honest, I was scared and I don't scare easy!!
I was frightened that Brianna would end up working for minimum wage while writing, spelling and reading like a third grader. I was frightened that "they" would find out that I was frightened. I was frightened that I would fail, and in doing so, fail my wonderful daughter in one of the most horrible ways thinkable.
I was frightened - so I hesitated.

Brianna pushed me. Brianna wanted to be home schooled. She talked about homeschooling; what she wanted to learn; where she would study- much as your daughter is talking to you.
Have you heard of the Ben Franklin Decision Making Graph??
Take a piece of paper
Draw a line down the center
One side is PRO
The other side is CON

List everything.
Why should she homeschool?
What are the reasons you believe you folks should be a HS family?

What are the reasons against it??


You aren't the worlds best speller and you say you're math dysfunctional (is that what you said??)
So what??
I don't "know" biology.
I'm looking at a "Rainforest Greenhouse" - Brianna is growing butterflies,
I don't "know" lots of stuff - how much of what I don't know does Brianna need to know to be a happy, well adjusted woman?

Follow your heart, Princess Dee.
Take your wonderful daughter by the hand and step into your lives.

Take your wonderful daughter away from the folks who are doing what they're doing for a paycheck. Take her away from the folks that won't know her next year. Take her away from the pencil pushers that care about numbers - not lives. Take her home and both of you can learn to heal. While she's healing, while she's growing - you're going to lose your fears in the wake of such amazing joy!!

Follow your heart.

Janis

----- Original Message -----
From: princessdee20012001
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 3:08 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] few questions


have a few questions .
first i want to say thank you. i have spent the 3 hours reading
from one link to the next on unschooling. I may have just stumbled
on what i have been looking for.
We have a 12 (13 in two weeks))year old. That we have adopted last
year.(she has lived with us for 3 1/2 years)who had sever pts. and
adhd.she was abused in every way and under feed and had been
dionosed with reactive attachment disorder at the age of five (we
did not know this till she was almost 12). She has come a long long
way and had grown a lot as now she gets feed (she was 55 lbs and
wore a 6x in clouthing, when we got her and now wears a womans 6
tall and weighs 120.(giggle she wore a size 4 in childrens shoes then
now a 10 in womans)she trys very very hard and is recently wanting
to frow more. she loves to learn and is determined to get past the
RAD (reactive attachment Disorder). her and I have both desided we
need to work harder on the bonding as the theropist thinks we need
to work on the adhd part and use more drug theropy.( we have tryed
this over and overusuly makes it worse) we have agreed to try time
relised this may however we have refused the if you want to give
another to counter the first routine we wont do it)and we are both
asking why is it more important to do the grade thing any way
i have spent 3 years fighting the school. and trying to make them
fallow the iep, They have insisted that we fix the not turning in
homework problem and fix the behavior also. The behavior is usuly
social problems and she is the kid every one picks on the kids and
teacher tell me this. Lisa has very very poor social skills.so my
question this last year to them has beenyou belive i need to keep
her in here for social reasons and what i see her learning is how to
be a door mat and you say she is eager to learn but you dont have
time to teach her because she ask so many questions and in the
classes she has only 3 other students she does great even helps
explain to others once she has had all her questions answered. and
she is still flunking because she dont turn in her homework and if
she dont do the homework it is usualy because the teaches have
failed to expline it in small steps so she can understand. And i keep
her in school why? then they point out my spelling and math
problem and math is one of her problems.We dont have a lot of money
and they know it, know i could not afford to hire a bunch of tutors
and they said i would have to turn my home into a mini school to
make it work and hire people to do it and if i didnt have the
money no way i could do this. i have spent 6 mounths looking. have
found that maybe they are wrong. there are lots of places i could
open enroll her and as close as a 1/2 hour away there are places
that have home school resorese rooms. and as for spelling her and i
decided together that it could be a game and we write down words we
spell wrong and we keep list short and play a game to teach both
of us.I stared with telling her i think it might be a idea for us to
do home school stuff this summer when u get out of school end of
may and i expected the school in summer thing. to my surprise she
had ideas and is excited about the idea and even said this is a way
we can work on the bonding issue mom, but what about math i told her
of the other types of school she said gee then not every one will
know me and maybe i could make friends?
We make biweekly trips to junk stores usualy she hits the
clouthing fast last 2 times she has went to learning area and found
cd's and books she would like to learn from.
Her counsler now says she will fall behind and that there is not
enough social interreaction for her . Her and I belive that this
can be handled and I think learning low self esteem and flunking
even though ya know the materal is silly. The teacher dont fallow
the iep at all we once had it set up to sigh a paper if she had
turned in home work and for every day she got full day of
signutures she got computer time . if she didnt get them she didnt
and then if she missed 3 in a day she got a 1/2 hour in her roomthey
all sighned every day for months. then sent home a your kid is
flunking because she didnt turn in homework . The poor girl went into
tears. they had told her she was doing fine and this took us both
by surprise. i marched in to the school and getting nothing but run
around called a iep meeting they told me they didnt have heart not
to sighn the paper and as time went on they felt she handt turned
it in because they didnt have time to teach her in small steps and
she was behind/ I stoped the sighing thing told them what i was
thinking about home school and they told me i lacked the skills and
that i would be doing her a "grave dis service" if i did that and
quoted both her poor social skills and the time it would take to do
it. I shook my head social skills? she is made fun of (granted
sometimes she causes it) and has no friends (small small towns dont
forgive and have long memorys) and as for my skills well i pionted
out to them i took a kid they told me would neve bond and couldnt
feel and that would end up in instatutions the rest of her life and
she not been in a single instution, and now we are trying to get her
to stop crying in school when she is made fun of.I think i keep
hesatiting because so many tell me i am wrong i cant do this one
that she will be at 7th grade level forever, if i do. except in
reading where she reads at level 12.I think they dont know my kid
and my determation. I think ok so we both hate math and have what
they call a math disorder. so what we are integelent and read well
and she has so many questions and willness to find the answers. (oh i
probley forgot to say this child is related to me by blood and other
reason they said with RAd kids bio related not a good idea asked me
to give her to system after we found out after a year and a 1/2)
So my questions are any one know if this is bad idea for a teen Rad?
and is it to late as she is almost 13 to start ?if her and i choose
what she does why is that wrong? I kept saying so what she learns
what she can or wants in math and i dont turn my home into a mini
school. we will find things she does want to learn. and she does want
to learn . heck she out and out flunking sience and those are one
the areas she keep picking up at the stores she wasnts to do it on
computer the woman i have do my taxes say in Iowa there is a tax
break and fed she says if i keep track what i spend for learning I
can claim 25 hundred on taxes. I didnt know that. with that break why
cant i hire out what she wants to learn?save 2 grand from income tax
this year and use it and keep track?she wants to plant a flower bed
this year want to learn about how the roots work and wants to read
the books school wont give her time to she reads there books and
dont like them and when she dont do there book it usualy because
she been reading her books.she is excited about summer school with
mom and older sister says she will help her in oreas and lisa is so
excited . I however dont want a mini school setting have been looking
for alternitives . hands on lets learn this together ways of
teaching.
I stumbled on this site when looking in yahoo groups for attacment
disorders is there a reason it was listed here? are there others with
a Rad child? Can someone that has poor math and grammer and
spelling make this work?
I have decided not to do spell check just to let you know how poor
the spelling realy is. and get advise from those that live it.
Thank you in advance for your advice and I am sorry for the lenght
of this post.
Dee



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kbolden

>>we both hate math and have what
they call a math disorder<<

Dee,
I must have a math disorder too. I have a college degree and can't balance my checkbook. When she needs to learn some math, you can help her find the best way to learn what she needs. My daughter learned fractions mostly by baking cookies. "Mini-school"! Are they kidding? What on earth do they do that you would want to copy? :-p

Kay, who had flashbacks when Dee wrote IEP

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/03 1:54:23 PM, janis@... writes:

<< She handed me a stack of papers, a report - that report had to be 4"
high!!!
"There - that's your daughters curriculum for this coming semester. Are you
qualified to teach this?" she said. >>

I would love to own that stack of papers. What a 4" load of BULLSHIT.
I've worked in schools. I know what "a curriculum" looks like and none of it
is 4" high. *MAYBE* the entire district's scope and sequencewas 4".
MAYBE the set of papers of some kid who left and didn't come back and they
cleared out her locker was 4" high. <g>

Did you even thumb through them to see what kind of papers she tried to bluff
you away with?

Sandra the Skeptical

coyote's corner

Yes, she was very insistent.
It was a curriculum...in a very broad sense of the word. It was more a table of contents w/ a listing of chapters and what each chapter contains and what/ how it would be taught.

I ended up giving her a curriculum- I simply copied some of their books, added horse back riding and self defense, gardening, a couple of other things. I turned in a very "good" curriculum. I was turned down because I had turned in no curriculum. At the time, the only homeschoolers I knew were Christians and I was sent to HSLDA. At the time, 14 families were either applying to HS for the first time or re-applying to continue. 11 were turned down...for failing to turn in any curriculum. HSLDA represented us. As a matter of fact, we were mentioned in an article. They were very nice, esp. since we never became members.
I don't know if you can find us in an online site of HSLDA.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 4:39 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] few questions



In a message dated 4/22/03 1:54:23 PM, janis@... writes:

<< She handed me a stack of papers, a report - that report had to be 4"
high!!!
"There - that's your daughters curriculum for this coming semester. Are you
qualified to teach this?" she said. >>

I would love to own that stack of papers. What a 4" load of BULLSHIT.
I've worked in schools. I know what "a curriculum" looks like and none of it
is 4" high. *MAYBE* the entire district's scope and sequencewas 4".
MAYBE the set of papers of some kid who left and didn't come back and they
cleared out her locker was 4" high. <g>

Did you even thumb through them to see what kind of papers she tried to bluff
you away with?

Sandra the Skeptical

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To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy

**You aren't the worlds best speller and you say you're math
dysfunctional (is that what you said??)
So what??
I don't "know" biology.**


I don't know biology, either. I took science every year in high school,
but because I went to three different high schools with "unaligned
curricula" (gasp!) I ended up completely missing biology. And I stayed
away from it in college as well.

Now I think I have a really fun opportunity to learn biology for my own
reasons, bit by bit, with a spirit of curiosity illuminating it for me.

Betsy

Betsy

** Her counsler now says she will fall behind and that there is not
enough social interreaction for her . Her and I belive that this
can be handled and I think learning low self esteem and flunking
even though ya know the materal is silly.**

I would definitely agree with you and not the counselor. I think it's
really lame that the worst criticism they can come up with about
homeschooling is "you won't be able to have 30 other kids the same age
to do worksheets with". (Not an exact quote, but kind of what they were saying.)

**i marched in to the school and getting nothing but run
around called a iep meeting they told me they didnt have heart not
to sighn the paper and as time went on they felt she handt turned
it in because they didnt have time to teach her in small steps and
she was behind/ I stoped the sighing thing told them what i was
thinking about home school and they told me i lacked the skills and
that i would be doing her a "grave dis service"**

Again, I don't agree with the school. It sounds like, more than
anything, your daughter needs time and patience, which the school
clearly cannot provide.

**if her and i choose
what she does why is that wrong?**

I don't think it is wrong. It's just different from what the majority
of people do. But it's what I do with my child, too.

**she wants to plant a flower bed
this year want to learn about how the roots work **

I love to garden! It's so rewarding and there is always more that you
can learn. "Doing it" is so different from just reading about it and
passing a test about it.

**I however dont want a mini school setting have been looking
for alternitives . hands on lets learn this together ways of
teaching.**

I think "unschooling" IS what you want. To unschool, just do real
things (like gardening) and go places and watch movies and read books
and talk and think and look for answers on the internet and in the
library. That's a richer education than any classroom experience.

Best wishes,
Betsy

princessdee20012001

Thank you so very much . I came home from yet another meeting with
the counsler and she decided to see me and talk about my conserns
and try and talk me out of homeschooling. begged me to give the
drugs a chance and i told her i will allow her to stay in till the
end of this year and see if her mircle cure drug fixes every thing
we talked about social skills she recited one of her other
patients also from a small rual town after a few years the 9 year
old was able to make friends. and that yet another example of one
her patients is home schooledand spends most of his time in day care
as the non wotking mother does not have the time I told her I am
not her and talked about bonding she told me I was trying to bond
with a Rad that was a Teen during the time when most Teens pull
away from parents and was afraid I would do damage devemently if i
didnt allow her to pull away and that maybe I need to look at geting
another theropist and reminded me that the bio partents didnt get
her treatment and this is considered neglet and to home school might
be also. I cant wait till school is over. in end of may think i
will get the homeschool papers and get a diff counsler and raise my
child the way i see fit.
Dee


--- In [email protected], Betsy <ecsamhill@e...> wrote:
>
>
> ** Her counsler now says she will fall behind and that there is
not
> enough social interreaction for her . Her and I belive that this
> can be handled and I think learning low self esteem and flunking
> even though ya know the materal is silly.**
>
> I would definitely agree with you and not the counselor. I think
it's
> really lame that the worst criticism they can come up with about
> homeschooling is "you won't be able to have 30 other kids the same
age
> to do worksheets with". (Not an exact quote, but kind of what they
were saying.)
>
> **i marched in to the school and getting nothing but run
> around called a iep meeting they told me they didnt have heart not
> to sighn the paper and as time went on they felt she handt
turned
> it in because they didnt have time to teach her in small steps and
> she was behind/ I stoped the sighing thing told them what i was
> thinking about home school and they told me i lacked the skills
and
> that i would be doing her a "grave dis service"**
>
> Again, I don't agree with the school. It sounds like, more than
> anything, your daughter needs time and patience, which the school
> clearly cannot provide.
>
> **if her and i choose
> what she does why is that wrong?**
>
> I don't think it is wrong. It's just different from what the
majority
> of people do. But it's what I do with my child, too.
>
> **she wants to plant a flower bed
> this year want to learn about how the roots work **
>
> I love to garden! It's so rewarding and there is always more that
you
> can learn. "Doing it" is so different from just reading about it
and
> passing a test about it.
>
> **I however dont want a mini school setting have been looking
> for alternitives . hands on lets learn this together ways of
> teaching.**
>
> I think "unschooling" IS what you want. To unschool, just do real
> things (like gardening) and go places and watch movies and read
books
> and talk and think and look for answers on the internet and in the
> library. That's a richer education than any classroom experience.
>
> Best wishes,
> Betsy

princessdee20012001

-
Thank you so very much but for the next few weeks i will be working
60 to 70 hours a week and she wants to finish this year out as is
and I told her today stop worring about the dang grades you get
the matreal and we will work on what you want to this summer.
after her counsler apt. she asked if she could go to salvation army
and get some books on plays because her teacher told her she was to
young for shakespear and would cover it in a few years I told her
teacher was wrong if she wanted to try it we will find it. she
found 2 books decided one looked chalanging and the other was to
young for her and got both any way and looked at me and said you
sure mom The teacher said I repeted if she wants to try it then we
can try it together. she then asked if she could study
aboutchemestry and my insides panticed lol I told her if she wants
then we will study it together or find some one that could help us.
I had some doubts again but then rembered what I had read last
nightit was me that needed to change my way of thinking and some how
I will build a net work and find ways to let her learn what she
desires .if she desires.
my 18 year old and I dissused unschooling and she was very learie
said ya know mom the teacher I hated the most I learned the most
from and I wouldnt had known I wanted to learn in these diff areas
had he not shown me a different way of looking at things. Then I
asked her dont every one you incounter have diff ways and did you
think about how tradinal school works for one than maybe not
another. we talked about lisas needs and so forth she said can she go
back if she want to latter my answer was sure we can try it what
she got to loose and what to gain . she said well she wont miss
being teased and pittied and she will gain time with the faimly she
needs and well if she flunking any way what diff it make they
talking about passing her because of what she can do in class and
flunking because of homework this is dumb mom we need to get her oput
of school. she needs to learn about life and bond closer to give her
a greater chance at life and build more self confadence.
When we can afford it I will buy books recomened by this group and
as soon as I can I will fill out the paper work on home schooling. it
is time we as a family do not fail this child and thru this i pray
she will heal.
Thank you again for your suport,
Dee

-- In [email protected], Tuckervill@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 4/22/2003 2:11:27 PM Central Daylight Time,
> ladymagic@m... writes:
>
> > and as for spelling her and i
> > decided together that it could be a game and we write down words
we
> > spell wrong and we keep list short and play a game to teach
both
> > of us
>
> You know...she can learn to spell when she's 80 if she wants. What
I think
> she needs is the educrats out of her life and time to HEAL. This
is the
> best opportunity you will ever have to give it to her. It sounds
to me like
> she would be better off leaving school today and learning about
herself and
> not what a bunch of people who do not love her or have her best
interests
> think she should learn.
>
> You have an amazing, unique and sterling opportunity to present an
awesome
> gift to her. And that gift is simply time to BE. Take her out of
school
> TODAY. Bond with her by letting her be. Give her freedom to be
who she is.
> Let her be.
>
> Good luck,
> Tuck
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

princessdee20012001

-
ok now this answer just made me cry.
I think I want this as bad as she does . that some how these people
are telling me I would be ruing her life if i do this and yet I feel
I would be losing the greatest opertuiny she ever had or me for that
matter. one of the tings my 18 year old said was what about dances
ext. i nearly laffed told her well lets see the boys are setting
her up with i like you now and then when she reacts the ridacule
her dances well i see carrie in my head and say hun not every lil
girl is prom queen and homecoming quen. it very very hard on those
that arent.maybe when we cross that bridge there are other
homeschooled that can advise and if that the best reason not to
then we have no reason not to . and giggle we did the pros and cons
and the reasons not to dont seem like reasons they seem like
others telling me to put a round peg in a square hole.the way i
feeling is ok people if i do this and gain even just a year then i
have gained and so has she and if she ends up back in there then has
to be behind a year so be it. it a year you cant take from her or
me. from what i been reading they cant forse me just the brow
beating i have been getting so far. and there reasons seen silly to
me make her conform give her lots of drugs to do it and lose lose
lose. i waiting for some one to tell me I am wrong . they just tell
me she will come out of it and if i am not doing it for deep
religious reasons then there is no reason and I keep telling them
you dont seem to understand I belive you people are the problem.
Thank you again for touching my heart.
Dee

-- In [email protected], "coyote's corner" <janis@c...>
wrote:
> Dee,
> I don't have the answers for you - except this.
> My son can't spell. He's working on his Bachelors degree; he's a
Staff Sgt in the USAF; he's a homeowner, he volunteers at Hospice -
see where I'm going w/ this??
> You do not need to spell to home school.
>
> When I talked to the school dept. here in East Providence, RI, I
was sent to the Director of Curriculum's office. She said that I was
unqualified. She handed me a stack of papers, a report - that report
had to be 4" high!!!
> "There - that's your daughters curriculum for this coming semester.
Are you qualified to teach this?" she said.
>
> I'll be honest, I was scared and I don't scare easy!!
> I was frightened that Brianna would end up working for minimum
wage while writing, spelling and reading like a third grader. I was
frightened that "they" would find out that I was frightened. I was
frightened that I would fail, and in doing so, fail my wonderful
daughter in one of the most horrible ways thinkable.
> I was frightened - so I hesitated.
>
> Brianna pushed me. Brianna wanted to be home schooled. She talked
about homeschooling; what she wanted to learn; where she would study-
much as your daughter is talking to you.
> Have you heard of the Ben Franklin Decision Making Graph??
> Take a piece of paper
> Draw a line down the center
> One side is PRO
> The other side is CON
>
> List everything.
> Why should she homeschool?
> What are the reasons you believe you folks should be a HS family?
>
> What are the reasons against it??
>
>
> You aren't the worlds best speller and you say you're math
dysfunctional (is that what you said??)
> So what??
> I don't "know" biology.
> I'm looking at a "Rainforest Greenhouse" - Brianna is growing
butterflies,
> I don't "know" lots of stuff - how much of what I don't know does
Brianna need to know to be a happy, well adjusted woman?
>
> Follow your heart, Princess Dee.
> Take your wonderful daughter by the hand and step into your lives.
>
> Take your wonderful daughter away from the folks who are doing what
they're doing for a paycheck. Take her away from the folks that won't
know her next year. Take her away from the pencil pushers that care
about numbers - not lives. Take her home and both of you can learn to
heal. While she's healing, while she's growing - you're going to lose
your fears in the wake of such amazing joy!!
>
> Follow your heart.
>
> Janis
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: princessdee20012001
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 3:08 PM
> Subject: [AlwaysLearning] few questions
>
>
> have a few questions .
> first i want to say thank you. i have spent the 3 hours
reading
> from one link to the next on unschooling. I may have just
stumbled
> on what i have been looking for.
> We have a 12 (13 in two weeks))year old. That we have adopted
last
> year.(she has lived with us for 3 1/2 years)who had sever pts.
and
> adhd.she was abused in every way and under feed and had been
> dionosed with reactive attachment disorder at the age of five
(we
> did not know this till she was almost 12). She has come a long
long
> way and had grown a lot as now she gets feed (she was 55 lbs
and
> wore a 6x in clouthing, when we got her and now wears a womans
6
> tall and weighs 120.(giggle she wore a size 4 in childrens shoes
then
> now a 10 in womans)she trys very very hard and is recently
wanting
> to frow more. she loves to learn and is determined to get past
the
> RAD (reactive attachment Disorder). her and I have both desided
we
> need to work harder on the bonding as the theropist thinks we
need
> to work on the adhd part and use more drug theropy.( we have
tryed
> this over and overusuly makes it worse) we have agreed to try
time
> relised this may however we have refused the if you want to
give
> another to counter the first routine we wont do it)and we are
both
> asking why is it more important to do the grade thing any way
> i have spent 3 years fighting the school. and trying to make them
> fallow the iep, They have insisted that we fix the not turning
in
> homework problem and fix the behavior also. The behavior is
usuly
> social problems and she is the kid every one picks on the kids
and
> teacher tell me this. Lisa has very very poor social skills.so
my
> question this last year to them has beenyou belive i need to
keep
> her in here for social reasons and what i see her learning is how
to
> be a door mat and you say she is eager to learn but you dont
have
> time to teach her because she ask so many questions and in the
> classes she has only 3 other students she does great even helps
> explain to others once she has had all her questions answered.
and
> she is still flunking because she dont turn in her homework and
if
> she dont do the homework it is usualy because the teaches have
> failed to expline it in small steps so she can understand. And i
keep
> her in school why? then they point out my spelling and math
> problem and math is one of her problems.We dont have a lot of
money
> and they know it, know i could not afford to hire a bunch of
tutors
> and they said i would have to turn my home into a mini school
to
> make it work and hire people to do it and if i didnt have the
> money no way i could do this. i have spent 6 mounths looking.
have
> found that maybe they are wrong. there are lots of places i
could
> open enroll her and as close as a 1/2 hour away there are
places
> that have home school resorese rooms. and as for spelling her
and i
> decided together that it could be a game and we write down words
we
> spell wrong and we keep list short and play a game to teach
both
> of us.I stared with telling her i think it might be a idea for
us to
> do home school stuff this summer when u get out of school end
of
> may and i expected the school in summer thing. to my surprise
she
> had ideas and is excited about the idea and even said this is a
way
> we can work on the bonding issue mom, but what about math i told
her
> of the other types of school she said gee then not every one
will
> know me and maybe i could make friends?
> We make biweekly trips to junk stores usualy she hits the
> clouthing fast last 2 times she has went to learning area and
found
> cd's and books she would like to learn from.
> Her counsler now says she will fall behind and that there is
not
> enough social interreaction for her . Her and I belive that
this
> can be handled and I think learning low self esteem and flunking
> even though ya know the materal is silly. The teacher dont
fallow
> the iep at all we once had it set up to sigh a paper if she had
> turned in home work and for every day she got full day of
> signutures she got computer time . if she didnt get them she
didnt
> and then if she missed 3 in a day she got a 1/2 hour in her
roomthey
> all sighned every day for months. then sent home a your kid is
> flunking because she didnt turn in homework . The poor girl went
into
> tears. they had told her she was doing fine and this took us
both
> by surprise. i marched in to the school and getting nothing but
run
> around called a iep meeting they told me they didnt have heart
not
> to sighn the paper and as time went on they felt she handt
turned
> it in because they didnt have time to teach her in small steps
and
> she was behind/ I stoped the sighing thing told them what i was
> thinking about home school and they told me i lacked the skills
and
> that i would be doing her a "grave dis service" if i did that
and
> quoted both her poor social skills and the time it would take
to do
> it. I shook my head social skills? she is made fun of (granted
> sometimes she causes it) and has no friends (small small towns
dont
> forgive and have long memorys) and as for my skills well i
pionted
> out to them i took a kid they told me would neve bond and couldnt
> feel and that would end up in instatutions the rest of her life
and
> she not been in a single instution, and now we are trying to get
her
> to stop crying in school when she is made fun of.I think i keep
> hesatiting because so many tell me i am wrong i cant do this
one
> that she will be at 7th grade level forever, if i do. except in
> reading where she reads at level 12.I think they dont know my
kid
> and my determation. I think ok so we both hate math and have
what
> they call a math disorder. so what we are integelent and read
well
> and she has so many questions and willness to find the answers.
(oh i
> probley forgot to say this child is related to me by blood and
other
> reason they said with RAd kids bio related not a good idea asked
me
> to give her to system after we found out after a year and a 1/2)
> So my questions are any one know if this is bad idea for a teen
Rad?
> and is it to late as she is almost 13 to start ?if her and i
choose
> what she does why is that wrong? I kept saying so what she
learns
> what she can or wants in math and i dont turn my home into a
mini
> school. we will find things she does want to learn. and she does
want
> to learn . heck she out and out flunking sience and those are
one
> the areas she keep picking up at the stores she wasnts to do it
on
> computer the woman i have do my taxes say in Iowa there is a
tax
> break and fed she says if i keep track what i spend for
learning I
> can claim 25 hundred on taxes. I didnt know that. with that break
why
> cant i hire out what she wants to learn?save 2 grand from income
tax
> this year and use it and keep track?she wants to plant a flower
bed
> this year want to learn about how the roots work and wants to
read
> the books school wont give her time to she reads there books
and
> dont like them and when she dont do there book it usualy
because
> she been reading her books.she is excited about summer school
with
> mom and older sister says she will help her in oreas and lisa is
so
> excited . I however dont want a mini school setting have been
looking
> for alternitives . hands on lets learn this together ways of
> teaching.
> I stumbled on this site when looking in yahoo groups for
attacment
> disorders is there a reason it was listed here? are there others
with
> a Rad child? Can someone that has poor math and grammer and
> spelling make this work?
> I have decided not to do spell check just to let you know how
poor
> the spelling realy is. and get advise from those that live it.
> Thank you in advance for your advice and I am sorry for the
lenght
> of this post.
> Dee
>
>
>
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> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

princessdee20012001

-when i dissused this math thing with my 18 year old she said gee mom
i was in advance math and cant rember any thing and my husband said
i dont understand her homework now. I asked well she can add subtact
and multiply and we done t need to do evey thing and what if she
dont want to do math stuff ? why are we asking our selves all these
questions do we want what is best and what is the most important? To
me the answer is plain her and healing. bonding and growing .I cant
find much they are offering I truly want for her at this school. I
think she is drowing and circling in self defeating crap.
Dee

-- In [email protected], "kbolden" <kbolden@a...> wrote:
> >>we both hate math and have what
> they call a math disorder<<
>
> Dee,
> I must have a math disorder too. I have a college degree and can't
balance my checkbook. When she needs to learn some math, you can help
her find the best way to learn what she needs. My daughter learned
fractions mostly by baking cookies. "Mini-school"! Are they kidding?
What on earth do they do that you would want to copy? :-p
>
> Kay, who had flashbacks when Dee wrote IEP
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

**talked about bonding she told me I was trying to bond
with a Rad that was a Teen during the time when most Teens pull
away from parents and was afraid I would do damage devemently if i
didnt allow her to pull away**

She's just wrong.

You're not talking about trying to forcibly hold this child back from her
life, you're talking about helping to build her a road into a real life,
which the school is definitely not doing for her, from your description.

Healthy teens can be bonded to their families AND step out into wider lives.

You may not overcome the RAD but it sounds like you have a good chance of it.
The counselor certainly doesn't. Ask her what she expects your daughter's
future will be if she stays in school etc.

Deborah in IL

princessdee20012001

--Giggling here in Iowa. ya sound like I did today.said gee I have
a 18 year old that just dont understand why other kids cant or wont
talk to there parents she recently wrote a paper for the local new
paper on my hero and realy i was suprised her hero was me she
stated in there it is because my mom was always there and never
judged me and gentaly nudged me thru my life i go into this world
feeling loved and confedent that i can handle what ever life throw my
way. I asked the counsler today so is my 18 year old hurt in any way
because she is attached to me and that by no means we havent had
our problems her answer was some kids get it most dont. and that
my 18 year old was stright A student and popular ext. and my
answer may seem dumb but i said yea and that means what? what i am
most proud of is her ability to love and to see thru crap and to
stand up for her self and her insite and her inner beauty. her ways
of life this is the child who worked hard to be what she choose to be
and to be a member of a family. and every chid is not the same and
lisa has different need. and a 25 year old (bi-poler) that tell me
if mom ever gave up on me and didnt always look for ways to help me.
I wonder where i would be now.she was different than the other also
she was board with school showed up for test and turned in home work
got stright a's and never went we found a school that allowed her to
do that.I wish I had found or looked into home schooling with her
then.
Dee



- In [email protected], dacunefare@a... wrote:
> **talked about bonding she told me I was trying to bond
> with a Rad that was a Teen during the time when most Teens pull
> away from parents and was afraid I would do damage devemently if i
> didnt allow her to pull away**
>
> She's just wrong.
>
> You're not talking about trying to forcibly hold this child back
from her
> life, you're talking about helping to build her a road into a real
life,
> which the school is definitely not doing for her, from your
description.
>
> Healthy teens can be bonded to their families AND step out into
wider lives.
>
> You may not overcome the RAD but it sounds like you have a good
chance of it.
> The counselor certainly doesn't. Ask her what she expects your
daughter's
> future will be if she stays in school etc.
>
> Deborah in IL

Paula Sjogerman

on 4/22/03 11:43 PM, dacunefare@... at dacunefare@... wrote:

> Healthy teens can be bonded to their families AND step out into wider lives.

Can we make some posters or TV commercials that repeat this over and over?!


Paula

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/2003 10:05:43 PM Central Daylight Time,
ladymagic@... writes:

> I told her I am
> not her and talked about bonding she told me I was trying to bond
> with a Rad that was a Teen during the time when most Teens pull
> away from parents and was afraid I would do damage devemently if i
> didnt allow her to pull away and that maybe I need to look at geting
> another theropist and reminded me that the bio partents didnt get
> her treatment and this is considered neglet and to home school might
> be also

Scare tactics. Bogus, untrue bull-oney. My 11 yo was "pulling away" from me
and I took him out of school and wrapped my arms around him and held him
close. It was one of the best things I ever did. He'll tell you that today.


Keep reaching for that higher ideal of a loving person who is secure with a
mother who loves her. Outside distractions like school are not going to
help.

Good luck,
Tuck


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

**Thank you again for touching my heart.**

No, Dee, thank you! You are the one that is touching others hearts! Mine for one. And the ones most important--your daughters! Hang in there, your heart will tell you what is right.

Kelli





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/23/2003 6:27:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> -when i dissused this math thing with my 18 year old she said gee mom
> i was in advance math and cant rember any thing and my husband said
> i dont understand her homework now. I asked well she can add subtact
> and multiply and we done t need to do evey thing and what if she
> dont want to do math stuff ? why are we asking our selves all these
> questions do we want what is best and what is the most important? To
> me the answer is plain her and healing. bonding and growing .I cant
> find much they are offering I truly want for her at this school. I
> think she is drowing and circling in self defeating crap.
> Dee
>

Oh, Dee, I have been reading your posts, and all I can say is...Take her out
of school, get her off the drugs, and love her. Oh, you already do, and I
can see by your posts that she loves and trusts you too.

She may or may not ever be good at math. If you care about your own math or
spelling, you can learn that stuff in fun ways....but if she's a good reader
and cares about learning, she's going to be okay. Get her out of there and
let her play and explore and be with you and your family.

Where are you? Maybe we can help find you some local support systems.

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/03 3:56:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
janis@... writes:

> I don't have the answers for you - except this.
> My son can't spell. He's working on his Bachelors degree; he's a Staff Sgt
> in the USAF; he's a homeowner, he volunteers at Hospice - see where I'm
> going w/ this??
> You do not need to spell to home school.
>
>

I missed the original post but wanted to add that I still can't spell. LOL.
I had a friend in public school that was as bad as I was and she sat in front
of me (alphabetical don't ya know) in every grade so we cheated. Several
grades had a weekly spelling quiz and you exchanged papers with a friend and
we would always change each others answers. Not enough to be noticed and
never the same answers but enough to get a B in the class. LOL. So good
grades does not equal a good speller.

I did manage to get my BS in nursing.

Use spell check.
Pam G.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/03 9:25:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
ladymagic@... writes:

> they just tell
> me she will come out of it and if i am not doing it for deep
> religious reasons then there is no reason and I keep telling them
> you dont seem to understand I belive you people are the problem.
>

Dee,

Your messages are breaking my heart. As far as the religious thing goes, use
it! Even if it is not your premise for wanting her out, is it a
constitutional right and the bases on which many a homeschool family has won
their cases. Just say you have prayed hard on it and God has showed you this
is the road you must take. You also want her to have a stronger relationship
with the Lord because all she's getting at school is evil hateful rejection
by other children. She needs to be encompassed in love so Bye Bye. They
obviously don't get the thoery that they are the issue and drugs are not the
miracle answer to all questions. They work for some families and not for
others, but that has to remain your decision. I would also say that you
should add God to not wanting Lisa on drug therapy, because her body is not
done developing and she needs much more than a pill, she needs love and
faith, something the school by law cannot give her.

Just a thought, from a not religious person.
Take care and best wishes to you and Lisa,
Rhonda


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

BADOLBILZ

I can't spell well either and I have a BA in English Lit. LOL. The
dictionary is my best friend when I send e-mail, write letters,
sometimes just to speak. ; ) I also can't do much math but they let me
pass advanced placement calculus (I had to look that word up just now!)
in high school. Now adays, I balance my checkbook a-okay thanks to a
handy little device called a calculator. Life goes quite smashingly if
you know what tools to use. That's the beauty of being a human being.
A successful school would spent their time teaching how to access and
use lifes tools. Maybe even how to design new ones. I would go to THAT
school. HeidiC.

genant2@... wrote:

>In a message dated 4/22/03 3:56:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
>janis@... writes:
>
>
>
>>I don't have the answers for you - except this.
>>My son can't spell. He's working on his Bachelors degree; he's a Staff Sgt
>>in the USAF; he's a homeowner, he volunteers at Hospice - see where I'm
>>going w/ this??
>>You do not need to spell to home school.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>I missed the original post but wanted to add that I still can't spell. LOL.
>I had a friend in public school that was as bad as I was and she sat in front
>of me (alphabetical don't ya know) in every grade so we cheated. Several
>grades had a weekly spelling quiz and you exchanged papers with a friend and
>we would always change each others answers. Not enough to be noticed and
>never the same answers but enough to get a B in the class. LOL. So good
>grades does not equal a good speller.
>
>I did manage to get my BS in nursing.
>
>Use spell check.
>Pam G.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Alan & Brenda Leonard

4/23/03 12:26:

> --Giggling here in Iowa. ya sound like I did today.said gee I have

Where in Iowa? I'm from Iowa, although living in Germany now compliments of
the U.S. Army. I'll be home this summer, though.

brenda

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/23/03 3:57:05 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<<
Oh, Dee, I have been reading your posts, and all I can say is...Take her out
of school, get her off the drugs, and love her. Oh, you already do, and I
can see by your posts that she loves and trusts you too. >>

Yes!!
Your posts have been very heartfelt Dee, I feel for ya.

Why, oh why, is SO much emphasis placed on grades and academics at the risk
of a persons emotional health?
And emotionally strong and healthy person can do ANYTHING and any time in
their lives. It should be the pillar that all other decisions are based
on,....is this good for the persons being/soul?
THAT should be the defining factor in decisions, not all this BS that the
schools think is so important.

If your dd learned not one single thing more for many years, I still think
she'd be far better off at home, loved, safe and nurtured.
And the thing of it is, she WILL learn, you can't stop it. (oh, unless you
force it and make learning a chore that is:)

Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."

----Frances Hodgson Burnett

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/24/2003 6:01:58 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> <<
> Oh, Dee, I have been reading your posts, and all I can say is...Take her
> out
> of school, get her off the drugs, and love her. Oh, you already do, and I
> can see by your posts that she loves and trusts you too. >>
>
> Yes!!
> Your posts have been very heartfelt Dee, I feel for ya.
>
> Why, oh why, is SO much emphasis placed on grades and academics at the risk
>
> of a persons emotional health?
> And emotionally strong and healthy person can do ANYTHING and any time in
> their lives. It should be the pillar that all other decisions are based
> on,....is this good for the persons being/soul?
> THAT should be the defining factor in decisions, not all this BS that the
> schools think is so important.
>
> If your dd learned not one single thing more for many years, I still think
> she'd be far better off at home, loved, safe and nurtured.
> And the thing of it is, she WILL learn, you can't stop it. (oh, unless you
> force it and make learning a chore that is:)
>

You know, something else occurred to me. The school system is focused on
taking your presently high-needs daughter and turning her into a Useful Adult
Member of Society by the time she's 18 or so, where they will send her into
The Real World. So they've got a bit of a time crunch here. They've gotta get
going on this stuff, and they haven't got time to deal with this namby-pamby
emotional stuff.

You, on the other hand, can acknowledge that your daughter's had a hard life,
and that there's no earthly reason why she's gotta be ready to go when she's
18. You're in this for the long haul. So if you focus on her feelings and
happiness exclusively for a bit, even if she didn't learn ANYTHING ELSE
(which, of course, we all know is BS), she'd still be ahead of the game.

So, it's not really that the school is evil or anything...they're just
task-oriented. You can be kid-oriented.

Kathryn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I started talking about home schooling on another list i am on for parents of
Rad children and saw some one else on yet another list asking about it seems I
don't have the only rad that wants to be home schooled and seems that others
are having the same problems and I can tell you I am so very very happy to
have found you all . my child and I both are looking forward to more time
together. you are right of coarse they have told me look she has this many
years to learn and we don't want her to fall behind. my answer is i have this
many years before I have a child leaves the nest not understanding how life
can be happy and full of self esteem and hope for her future. I was told i was
being simplistic. if I am oh well. lol
Dee
> In a message dated 4/24/2003 6:01:58 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> > <<
> > Oh, Dee, I have been reading your posts, and all I can say is...Take her
> > out
> > of school, get her off the drugs, and love her. Oh, you already do, and I
> > can see by your posts that she loves and trusts you too. >>
> >
> > Yes!!
> > Your posts have been very heartfelt Dee, I feel for ya.
> >
> > Why, oh why, is SO much emphasis placed on grades and academics at the risk
> >
> > of a persons emotional health?
> > And emotionally strong and healthy person can do ANYTHING and any time in
> > their lives. It should be the pillar that all other decisions are based
> > on,....is this good for the persons being/soul?
> > THAT should be the defining factor in decisions, not all this BS that the
> > schools think is so important.
> >
> > If your dd learned not one single thing more for many years, I still think
> > she'd be far better off at home, loved, safe and nurtured.

> > And the thing of it is, she WILL learn, you can't stop it. (oh, unless you
> > force it and make learning a chore that is:)
> >
>
> You know, something else occurred to me. The school system is focused on
> taking your presently high-needs daughter and turning her into a Useful Adult
> Member of Society by the time she's 18 or so, where they will send her into
> The Real World. So they've got a bit of a time crunch here. They've gotta get
> going on this stuff, and they haven't got time to deal with this namby-pamby
> emotional stuff.
>
> You, on the other hand, can acknowledge that your daughter's had a hard life,
> and that there's no earthly reason why she's gotta be ready to go when she's
> 18. You're in this for the long haul. So if you focus on her feelings and
> happiness exclusively for a bit, even if she didn't learn ANYTHING ELSE
> (which, of course, we all know is BS), she'd still be ahead of the game.
>
> So, it's not really that the school is evil or anything...they're just

> task-oriented. You can be kid-oriented.
>
> Kathryn
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

joanna514

> You, on the other hand, can acknowledge that your daughter's had a
hard life,
> and that there's no earthly reason why she's gotta be ready to go
when she's
> 18. You're in this for the long haul. > >>>>>>>


I told my 3 year old Jamie last night that I loved her, and she
smiled. I then asked her, "Jamie, what does I love you mean?"
and she said, without missing a beat, "You want to live with someone
forever." I can't think of a better definition. We wont always live
under the same roof (probably), but we will always "live" with each
other forever.

Joanna