Re:Older kids
[email protected]
Hi,
I was reading the list and thinking about a couple of experiences I've had
lately with my older kids - that show how very much we can learn from them -
Trevor (14) and I were skiing. I looked back at him when we were getting in
line for the lift. He had fallen over and was sliding into a fence. Some
young kids were coming up in line and laughing at him. It made me mad. When
Trevor came up, he said "that was mean" - it turns out the kids had tripped
him (whether accidentally, or on purpose, I don't know), and that's why he
fell - I replied I wished I'd have whacked them with my pole!!! He just
smiled and went on with the day with total enjoyment. Such a lesson for me
not to work on the revenge and negative stuff - just let it go, and be
happy!!! We were on the beautiful mountain, having a wonderful time, he
didn't let them ruin it for him at all! Lesson for mom!
Then I was in No. Dakota with Shawn (age 28) at his national diving
tournament a couple weeks ago. (He won the 1 and 3 meter title for the
second year running). He was so focussed, and concentrated, not taking his
skills for granted, and not caring about any of it, but doing his very best.
He didn't start college til he was 23, or diving til he was over 20. There
he is excelling at both. I am so proud of him - especially knowing he had a
severe problem with depression when he was about 25, and on Monday will be in
Wash. DC at a press conference thing with about 8 others who have made media
messages about male depression that will be airing soon. (He did a public
relations spot in TX for the clinic that helped him there, and that lead to
the national one.)
I think we need to be so respectful and kind to our children when they are
little and we have so much control over their lives, because it makes such an
impact over how we and they view the world.
I DO have grown up children, and they are such a blessing to me, and have
taught, and continue to teach me so many lessons about life. I keep hearing
my words from their mouths, and am please when they are kind ones :-)
Enough for now --
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I was reading the list and thinking about a couple of experiences I've had
lately with my older kids - that show how very much we can learn from them -
Trevor (14) and I were skiing. I looked back at him when we were getting in
line for the lift. He had fallen over and was sliding into a fence. Some
young kids were coming up in line and laughing at him. It made me mad. When
Trevor came up, he said "that was mean" - it turns out the kids had tripped
him (whether accidentally, or on purpose, I don't know), and that's why he
fell - I replied I wished I'd have whacked them with my pole!!! He just
smiled and went on with the day with total enjoyment. Such a lesson for me
not to work on the revenge and negative stuff - just let it go, and be
happy!!! We were on the beautiful mountain, having a wonderful time, he
didn't let them ruin it for him at all! Lesson for mom!
Then I was in No. Dakota with Shawn (age 28) at his national diving
tournament a couple weeks ago. (He won the 1 and 3 meter title for the
second year running). He was so focussed, and concentrated, not taking his
skills for granted, and not caring about any of it, but doing his very best.
He didn't start college til he was 23, or diving til he was over 20. There
he is excelling at both. I am so proud of him - especially knowing he had a
severe problem with depression when he was about 25, and on Monday will be in
Wash. DC at a press conference thing with about 8 others who have made media
messages about male depression that will be airing soon. (He did a public
relations spot in TX for the clinic that helped him there, and that lead to
the national one.)
I think we need to be so respectful and kind to our children when they are
little and we have so much control over their lives, because it makes such an
impact over how we and they view the world.
I DO have grown up children, and they are such a blessing to me, and have
taught, and continue to teach me so many lessons about life. I keep hearing
my words from their mouths, and am please when they are kind ones :-)
Enough for now --
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Connie,
Your accounts of 14 and 28 year olds were really great for me this morning.
My husband and I spent an intense (mostly good) half hour this morning
talking about our kids. He's mostly really happy with them, but he seems to
think I'm the only freak in the world that will protect the quiet in a house
so a kid can sleep until noon. I told him there were others. <g>
Your revenge moment about the tripping incident reminded me of times with
Kirby and Marty too, when someone's been mean and I've suggested either they
just don't hang out with him anymore, or (worse!) "Do you want me to talk to
him?" But with full-on calm, they'll say no, it will be okay, that he's
just that way sometimes and it's not really bothering them.
They have a maturity now that I only got in some ways in my mid-adult years,
30's and 40's. And they have some I'll probably never have, because they
don't have a head full of noise and "if only."
Sandra
Your accounts of 14 and 28 year olds were really great for me this morning.
My husband and I spent an intense (mostly good) half hour this morning
talking about our kids. He's mostly really happy with them, but he seems to
think I'm the only freak in the world that will protect the quiet in a house
so a kid can sleep until noon. I told him there were others. <g>
Your revenge moment about the tripping incident reminded me of times with
Kirby and Marty too, when someone's been mean and I've suggested either they
just don't hang out with him anymore, or (worse!) "Do you want me to talk to
him?" But with full-on calm, they'll say no, it will be okay, that he's
just that way sometimes and it's not really bothering them.
They have a maturity now that I only got in some ways in my mid-adult years,
30's and 40's. And they have some I'll probably never have, because they
don't have a head full of noise and "if only."
Sandra
marji
At 12:24 3/30/03 -0500, Sandra wrote:
her back and caring enough to want to do something about "it," if
requested, is enough to help a kid see his or her world as a safe(r)
place. I think that's powerful stuff right there.
Marji (dropping in and waving enthusiastically to everyone and then quickly
getting back to work!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>...he seems to think I'm the only freak in the world that will protect theYes, there certainly are. (g)
>quiet in a house so a kid can sleep until noon. I told him there were
>others. <g>
>Your revenge moment about the tripping incident reminded me of times withYou know, I think that for a kid knowing there is someone watching his or
>Kirby and Marty too, when someone's been mean and I've suggested either
>they just don't hang out with him anymore, or (worse!) "Do you want me to
>talk to him?" But with full-on calm, they'll say no, it will be okay,
>that he's just that way sometimes and it's not really bothering them.
her back and caring enough to want to do something about "it," if
requested, is enough to help a kid see his or her world as a safe(r)
place. I think that's powerful stuff right there.
>They have a maturity now that I only got in some ways in my mid-adultYeah.
>years, 30's and 40's. And they have some I'll probably never have,
>because they don't have a head full of noise and "if only."
Marji (dropping in and waving enthusiastically to everyone and then quickly
getting back to work!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
And - he does realize you'd protect it for him, too, of course!! <G>
-pam
-pam
On Sunday, March 30, 2003, at 09:24 AM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
> He's mostly really happy with them, but he seems to
> think I'm the only freak in the world that will protect the quiet in a
> house
> so a kid can sleep until noon. I told him there were others. <g>
Barb Eaton
on 3/30/03 12:24 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:
oldest ds has been working on SPEED. No not the drug. ;-) It's a computer
thing. He gets wrapped up in it and works all night, or most of it. He's
tryed to explain computer stuff to me before but I just can't grasp it. I
have to remind my dh sometimes what it was like when he was working 3rd
shift. <G>
braking something. ;-) I've heard the stories too. Some of the things they
tell me. I'm glad I can't see them or hear the rude and obnoxious behavior
and comment. They, dss, handle it quite well. I think it's that maturity
Sandra is talking about.
Barb E
"A poor fit between your passions and your work may be
more detrimental than a poor fit between the demands of
your job and your current abilities."
- Robert K. Cooper, Author in ³The Other 90%²
> Connie,Nope not the only one.;-) Some days it's til 3 in the afternoon. My
>
> Your accounts of 14 and 28 year olds were really great for me this morning.
> My husband and I spent an intense (mostly good) half hour this morning
> talking about our kids. He's mostly really happy with them, but he seems to
> think I'm the only freak in the world that will protect the quiet in a house
> so a kid can sleep until noon. I told him there were others. <g>
oldest ds has been working on SPEED. No not the drug. ;-) It's a computer
thing. He gets wrapped up in it and works all night, or most of it. He's
tryed to explain computer stuff to me before but I just can't grasp it. I
have to remind my dh sometimes what it was like when he was working 3rd
shift. <G>
>Connie I applaud you for being on the slopes. I'm way too afraid of
> Your revenge moment about the tripping incident reminded me of times with
> Kirby and Marty too, when someone's been mean and I've suggested either they
> just don't hang out with him anymore, or (worse!) "Do you want me to talk to
> him?" But with full-on calm, they'll say no, it will be okay, that he's
> just that way sometimes and it's not really bothering them.
braking something. ;-) I've heard the stories too. Some of the things they
tell me. I'm glad I can't see them or hear the rude and obnoxious behavior
and comment. They, dss, handle it quite well. I think it's that maturity
Sandra is talking about.
Barb E
"A poor fit between your passions and your work may be
more detrimental than a poor fit between the demands of
your job and your current abilities."
- Robert K. Cooper, Author in ³The Other 90%²