nellebelle

Thank you so much for all the great ideas. The fear of elevators is because
she thinks she might get stuck in there, although this has never happened to
us. I get claustrophobic too, but I thought it was because my older
brothers used to hold pillows over my head. :-( I have panicked inside dark
tents. Now I know I have to sleep with my head close to the entrance. I
do have a little motion sickness too, but never when I'm the driver.

I had a discussion with Lisa yesterday, asking her about her concerns and
sharing some of your ideas. She said if she must endure the 4 hour ride,
she would like to stay at Gramma's for a few days, rather than just one, as
we would if we went with Dh this weekend. She also felt as if the trip was
sprung on her suddenly. She would prefer to have more advance time to "get
ready". She said peppermint helps, laying down helps, and she liked the
idea of frequent stops. She does prefer my car to any other. We've had it
since before she was born. She said the "new car smell" of Dad's truck
(1999) and Gramma's car (1995) makes her feel worse. I've thought about
having a DVD player in the car too. I wonder if looking at moving objects,
like a video screen, is better for some kids than looking at a book. I can
read in the car though without it bothering me.

I realize that there are other issues involved here for me. I want to
please dh by accompnaying him on the weekend trip, and please my mom by
coming to visit her. She does come to visit here too, but of course likes
it when we visit her. I have plenty of guilt issues going on with my mom.
I'm very good at guilt! No matter how much time we spend with her, I hear
"nobody visits me" and "I'm so sad you are leaving", rather than just
"thanks for coming, it was great to see you". Well, that is another topic.

Thanks for reminding me that what is important is helping my daughter feel
safe and as comfortable as possible. We do have dreams of buying some kind
of bus or motor home for taking road trips in real comfort... She doesn't
seem to get sick on buses, but planes are awful for her. She hasn't been on
a train.

Mary Ellen

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In a message dated 2/20/03 10:34:37 AM, nellebelle@... writes:

<< No matter how much time we spend with her, I hear
"nobody visits me" and "I'm so sad you are leaving", rather than just
"thanks for coming, it was great to see you". Well, that is another topic.
>>

Maybe you could write and say that. Suggest a script to her. "Thanks for
coming to visit again!"
and when you leave, "I'm glad you came!"

Sorry it's stressful. I don't love going to see inlaws and I hardly even
call my own mom even though she's in town. I get phone sick! <bwg> Last
time I tried to call the phone was temporarily disconnected. I didn't think
"Gosh, she might not be okay!" I thought, "DAMN, she lost her phonebill money
at the casino."

Sandra