[email protected]

In a message dated 1/29/2003 3:56:38 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> >Much as I loved the section around this you wrote I have to disagree
> >with this. A child's life is how they live it. They live in the
> >immediate present and having to go to school due to the death of a
> >parent would be a very significant event. It could definitely add to the
> >grief.
>
> When my friend Bonnie died, her four kids had never been to school. Her
> husband's major priority was keeping them out of school. He took a year or
> so and lived on next to nothing while he concentrated on the kids. Here in
> Canada, widows and widowers with kids get a pension until the kids are
> grown. Low income parents also get what they call a child tax benefit.
> Between the two, they were able to survive. Now he works for my husband,
> and the 17 year old looks after the boys while he works. One of the
> biggest
> things Dennis had to deal with was the kids' fear that he could die as
> well.
> Tia
>
>

I worry about this for Julian. For those of you who don't know, he has three
parents: Me (biological mother), my partner Beth, and his father, Perry. We
have an excellent relationship with Perry, but the truth is, that if
something happened to me, whatever Julian needed or Beth wanted, Perry could
call all the shots. I THINK he would want to do what's best for Julian,
including NOT sending him to school, but I am not certain. It's scary. And
Julian HAS thought about it, and has talked about it.

Kathryn



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]