He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@hotma
My daughter has a friend, whose father is the strict follow the
rules (that are always changing) or else you'll get it, kinda guy. My
daughter seems to really enjoy this little girls company so mostly
they play here. But sometimes the father feels his daughter spends
to much time here and they should play at his home. Today my
daughter played at their house. When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
My daughter says, "We were pretending to be zombies, with dry scaly
skin, and when we said AHHHH! the little sister pretended to be
scared so she screamed." At this point the father told them to "Stop
scaring the little sister."
I asked my daughter if they were trying to scare the her. She says
they were not and that she was laughing and playing with them. Well
they continued to play and the little sister screamed again to which
the father said I told you to stop then spanked my daughter and her
friend and warned them if they did it again he was going to "get the
belt".......
Breathe........breathe.....breathe.....(talking to myself here)..
So there is no question that I will be speaking to this man. But it
could be more.
What I am looking for are your suggestions. I see this as (maybe)
an opportunity to speak to this man about other options in
parenting. By the way, his wife is a doll and I really like her.
You see his child, of all my childrens friends, (I have four
children)is by far the worst behaved. I know it is because of his
oppression. The very issues he has the tightest rules on in his home
are the very same things she takes advantage of in my home.
An example is food. Food is tightly regulated in their home,
where they eat, how much, and not a bit is to be wasted EVER. So in
my home she is always wasting food, by that I mean taking way more
then she can eat then throwing it away. Manners are strictly
enforced in her home, when she is here you would hardly know she had
any. These are small examples (there are more) but proof that the
father is creating the exact opposite of what he wants.
Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
oh, my dd Elaine is 7 almost 8.
Cally
rules (that are always changing) or else you'll get it, kinda guy. My
daughter seems to really enjoy this little girls company so mostly
they play here. But sometimes the father feels his daughter spends
to much time here and they should play at his home. Today my
daughter played at their house. When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
My daughter says, "We were pretending to be zombies, with dry scaly
skin, and when we said AHHHH! the little sister pretended to be
scared so she screamed." At this point the father told them to "Stop
scaring the little sister."
I asked my daughter if they were trying to scare the her. She says
they were not and that she was laughing and playing with them. Well
they continued to play and the little sister screamed again to which
the father said I told you to stop then spanked my daughter and her
friend and warned them if they did it again he was going to "get the
belt".......
Breathe........breathe.....breathe.....(talking to myself here)..
So there is no question that I will be speaking to this man. But it
could be more.
What I am looking for are your suggestions. I see this as (maybe)
an opportunity to speak to this man about other options in
parenting. By the way, his wife is a doll and I really like her.
You see his child, of all my childrens friends, (I have four
children)is by far the worst behaved. I know it is because of his
oppression. The very issues he has the tightest rules on in his home
are the very same things she takes advantage of in my home.
An example is food. Food is tightly regulated in their home,
where they eat, how much, and not a bit is to be wasted EVER. So in
my home she is always wasting food, by that I mean taking way more
then she can eat then throwing it away. Manners are strictly
enforced in her home, when she is here you would hardly know she had
any. These are small examples (there are more) but proof that the
father is creating the exact opposite of what he wants.
Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
oh, my dd Elaine is 7 almost 8.
Cally
Pam Hartley
----------
change, and unfortunately I doubt he is. It does no harm to try, so you
might print out a list of parenting books or websites or clip an article for
him or whatever you have to hand.
What I would tell him is that your daughter is not to be hit, ever, and if
he cannot guarantee that that won't happen she can't be at his house without
you, ever. (Okay, actually I wouldn't let her be at his house without me
ever again anyway. :/)
This is the second note I've read in a week about someone spanking someone
else's child while they were at another house. I find this absolutely
ASTONISHING, just when I had thought I could no longer be astonished.
Pam
>From: "callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@...>"<scenichillhomeschool@...>
>To: [email protected]It's pretty hard to make a difference with someone who isn't looking to
>Subject: [AlwaysLearning] He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
>Date: Sat, Jan 25, 2003, 10:42 PM
>
> Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
> so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
> issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
> joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
change, and unfortunately I doubt he is. It does no harm to try, so you
might print out a list of parenting books or websites or clip an article for
him or whatever you have to hand.
What I would tell him is that your daughter is not to be hit, ever, and if
he cannot guarantee that that won't happen she can't be at his house without
you, ever. (Okay, actually I wouldn't let her be at his house without me
ever again anyway. :/)
This is the second note I've read in a week about someone spanking someone
else's child while they were at another house. I find this absolutely
ASTONISHING, just when I had thought I could no longer be astonished.
Pam
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/25/03 11:43:19 PM, scenichillhomeschool@...
writes:
<< I know he sees the joy my family has. >>
And it probably REALLY tics him off.
I think you should not talk to him. I think you should put your concerns in
writing.
That way you can say everything you need to say and he will really have to
read it.
And his wife can read it.
And you can keep a copy.
I would tell him you like having his daughter over, it's great, and you hope
to have her over for many years, but that you're unwilling to have your
daughter there until and unless he can reassure you that he will never again
lay a hand on her. And that if he DOES ever under any circumstances again
hit her you will call the police and charge him with assault.
That's IF your daughter's willing to risk losing contact for a while with the
other girl.
Or if you're willing to go one step further and tell him that if he allows
your communication to cut off the girls' friendship you might call the police
anyway and explain to them why.
This is me being first-pass reactionary. I'll probably not feel so sharply
threatening if I sleep on it and think about it.
But I WOULD absolutely and unquestionably put whatever I said in writing and
keep a copy.
Sandra
writes:
<< I know he sees the joy my family has. >>
And it probably REALLY tics him off.
I think you should not talk to him. I think you should put your concerns in
writing.
That way you can say everything you need to say and he will really have to
read it.
And his wife can read it.
And you can keep a copy.
I would tell him you like having his daughter over, it's great, and you hope
to have her over for many years, but that you're unwilling to have your
daughter there until and unless he can reassure you that he will never again
lay a hand on her. And that if he DOES ever under any circumstances again
hit her you will call the police and charge him with assault.
That's IF your daughter's willing to risk losing contact for a while with the
other girl.
Or if you're willing to go one step further and tell him that if he allows
your communication to cut off the girls' friendship you might call the police
anyway and explain to them why.
This is me being first-pass reactionary. I'll probably not feel so sharply
threatening if I sleep on it and think about it.
But I WOULD absolutely and unquestionably put whatever I said in writing and
keep a copy.
Sandra
Joylyn
oh man, I would be so beyond mad.
This man would never ever be alone with my child again. The children
would play at my house. I would want to bring charges against him for
hitting a child, and I might even investigate that, but of course, if I
did that, there would be no further friendship between the children or
our families, but then, I don't think I would care. I don't think I
could ever look at a person who hit my child again, let alone be in the
same room with him or be a friend with him. But then, I consider it
abuse to hit a child, any child.
joylyn
callymom2000 wrote:
This man would never ever be alone with my child again. The children
would play at my house. I would want to bring charges against him for
hitting a child, and I might even investigate that, but of course, if I
did that, there would be no further friendship between the children or
our families, but then, I don't think I would care. I don't think I
could ever look at a person who hit my child again, let alone be in the
same room with him or be a friend with him. But then, I consider it
abuse to hit a child, any child.
joylyn
callymom2000 wrote:
> My daughter has a friend, whose father is the strict follow the[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> rules (that are always changing) or else you'll get it, kinda guy. My
> daughter seems to really enjoy this little girls company so mostly
> they play here. But sometimes the father feels his daughter spends
> to much time here and they should play at his home. Today my
> daughter played at their house. When she came home she was quick to
> tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
>
> My daughter says, "We were pretending to be zombies, with dry scaly
> skin, and when we said AHHHH! the little sister pretended to be
> scared so she screamed." At this point the father told them to "Stop
> scaring the little sister."
>
> I asked my daughter if they were trying to scare the her. She says
> they were not and that she was laughing and playing with them. Well
> they continued to play and the little sister screamed again to which
> the father said I told you to stop then spanked my daughter and her
> friend and warned them if they did it again he was going to "get the
> belt".......
>
> Breathe........breathe.....breathe.....(talking to myself here)..
>
> So there is no question that I will be speaking to this man. But it
> could be more.
>
> What I am looking for are your suggestions. I see this as (maybe)
> an opportunity to speak to this man about other options in
> parenting. By the way, his wife is a doll and I really like her.
>
> You see his child, of all my childrens friends, (I have four
> children)is by far the worst behaved. I know it is because of his
> oppression. The very issues he has the tightest rules on in his home
> are the very same things she takes advantage of in my home.
>
> An example is food. Food is tightly regulated in their home,
> where they eat, how much, and not a bit is to be wasted EVER. So in
> my home she is always wasting food, by that I mean taking way more
> then she can eat then throwing it away. Manners are strictly
> enforced in her home, when she is here you would hardly know she had
> any. These are small examples (there are more) but proof that the
> father is creating the exact opposite of what he wants.
>
>
> Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
> so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
> issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
> joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
>
> oh, my dd Elaine is 7 almost 8.
>
> Cally
>
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 1:43:19 AM Eastern Standard Time,
scenichillhomeschool@... writes:
about this I don't believe he will be receptive to anything else you have to
say. He will probably be very defensive. And try to defend his right to
spank.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
scenichillhomeschool@... writes:
> Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doingI would deal with the spanking issue only. Because after you talk with him
> so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
> issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
> joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
>
>
about this I don't believe he will be receptive to anything else you have to
say. He will probably be very defensive. And try to defend his right to
spank.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Laura Gates-Lupton
I am fairly new on this list and have been reading for about a week, but I just had to jump in on this topic. Like everyone else who responded, I am completely appalled that this man would spank your child. I agree with others that only addressing the spanking is probably the best route to take. If you decide to have a conversation with him, I would be sure to have it with him and his wife together. Also, I would not tell him about his daughter's behavior in your home. He sounds like the kind of man who would become more punitive if he learned that he did not have control of her behavior outside of the home. Life might become considerably worse for her.
Please post again and let us know how things go!
Laura, unschooling mom to 3 in Rhode Island
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Please post again and let us know how things go!
Laura, unschooling mom to 3 in Rhode Island
---------------------------------
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Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Falbe
WOW!!! IMHO There would be no point in talking to this person as he
doesn't get it that it's not ok to deal with his anger about his
inability to control everyone and everything in the manner he did.
Obviously this man has some big time control issues and if he's spanking
your child then he's spanking his own easily. As for the wife being a
"doll" that can be a problem. She is weak and is maybe receiving the
same treatment from him, even if it's verbal abuse.
I would not let my child go to that house again and after thinking about
this since I read it last night I think I would talk to the mother about
the father's behavior and find out whether this is a typical pattern of
his and see where she's at on this. If this is all ok with her then I'd
call the police. Yes my son would be upset that he'd lost a friend, but
I think he would be more upset if I did nothing to protect him from this
bully. I would sit down and explain to him what happened, what I did
and why I did it. I think if I didn't do that I would be also sending a
message that in order to have the friend that you want the price you
have to pay is being beaten. I'm not sure that's a lesson I want my son
to learn.
This is a tough one though.. Good luck with it
When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
doesn't get it that it's not ok to deal with his anger about his
inability to control everyone and everything in the manner he did.
Obviously this man has some big time control issues and if he's spanking
your child then he's spanking his own easily. As for the wife being a
"doll" that can be a problem. She is weak and is maybe receiving the
same treatment from him, even if it's verbal abuse.
I would not let my child go to that house again and after thinking about
this since I read it last night I think I would talk to the mother about
the father's behavior and find out whether this is a typical pattern of
his and see where she's at on this. If this is all ok with her then I'd
call the police. Yes my son would be upset that he'd lost a friend, but
I think he would be more upset if I did nothing to protect him from this
bully. I would sit down and explain to him what happened, what I did
and why I did it. I think if I didn't do that I would be also sending a
message that in order to have the friend that you want the price you
have to pay is being beaten. I'm not sure that's a lesson I want my son
to learn.
This is a tough one though.. Good luck with it
When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@hotma
--- In [email protected], Pam Hartley <pamhartley@m...>
wrote:
This is a good idea, but I think I will but them in his wifes hand
along with,
Sandra said>>>
But I WOULD absolutely and unquestionably put whatever I said in
writing and keep a copy.>>>>>
(Well if they are still friends far into the future that may
change). My dd. and I talked and she is a bit sad to hear this,
because she understands she will most likey not be able to play as
often but she also agrees that the father can not be trusted.
The mother at this house feels her husband is to strict, we have
had a couple of small conversations. I do not think she is being
abused, in fact I think she might be a bit fiesty in her attitude
towards her husband, and I know she openly questions his logic, which
is hopeful.
Let me state, I knew he was strict and has some ridiculous rules,
but I NEVER dreamed he would take a swat at someone elses child.
Never..
Thank you all for your responses. I am up against the clock now.
I would love to hear anything eles. I will let you know how this
turns out.
Cally
wrote:
> ----------article for him or whatever you have to hand.>>>>
>>> It does no harm to try, so you
> might print out a list of parenting books or websites or clip an
This is a good idea, but I think I will but them in his wifes hand
along with,
Sandra said>>>
But I WOULD absolutely and unquestionably put whatever I said in
writing and keep a copy.>>>>>
>>>(Okay, actually I wouldn't let her be at his house without meThis goes without saying. They will only play here from now on
> ever again anyway. :/)>>>>>
(Well if they are still friends far into the future that may
change). My dd. and I talked and she is a bit sad to hear this,
because she understands she will most likey not be able to play as
often but she also agrees that the father can not be trusted.
The mother at this house feels her husband is to strict, we have
had a couple of small conversations. I do not think she is being
abused, in fact I think she might be a bit fiesty in her attitude
towards her husband, and I know she openly questions his logic, which
is hopeful.
Let me state, I knew he was strict and has some ridiculous rules,
but I NEVER dreamed he would take a swat at someone elses child.
Never..
Thank you all for your responses. I am up against the clock now.
I would love to hear anything eles. I will let you know how this
turns out.
Cally
Kate Green
I think I ask myself here how would your husband react if you came home and
told him that this next door neighbour had spanked you for being rowdy in
his home or vice versa. This would be considered assault right? So why is
it different for a child. Someone hit her outside her home so in my opinion
this should be taken as seriously as if this guy hit another adult.
How you handle it might depend on how you would handle it if it were an
adult. It could be in the form of a serious discussion or a call to the
police. A lot would depend on how you want the relationship to be in the
future.
An additional thing to think about is how your daughter reacted to it. If
it was no big deal to her then perhaps the situation warrants a smaller
discussion with the guy but if she is truly upset then perhaps a little
stronger action might be in order.
Kate
told him that this next door neighbour had spanked you for being rowdy in
his home or vice versa. This would be considered assault right? So why is
it different for a child. Someone hit her outside her home so in my opinion
this should be taken as seriously as if this guy hit another adult.
How you handle it might depend on how you would handle it if it were an
adult. It could be in the form of a serious discussion or a call to the
police. A lot would depend on how you want the relationship to be in the
future.
An additional thing to think about is how your daughter reacted to it. If
it was no big deal to her then perhaps the situation warrants a smaller
discussion with the guy but if she is truly upset then perhaps a little
stronger action might be in order.
Kate
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 9:51:11 AM Eastern Standard Time,
astrologerdawn@... writes:
would I do. You know it is tough. I was thinking I might call the police as
well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police. I
mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe that it
is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call the police.
Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to the
parent? Would I be sending the message that I am not always there to defend
you? Would I be sending the message that I feel it isn't a crime?
Not sure what I would do as I have never been in that situation but just some
questions I had in my own mind about the situation. And please let us know
what happens. Good learning opportunity for us all. And what your child
thought about the whole thing.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
astrologerdawn@... writes:
> . If this is all ok with her then I'dI was thinking about that. Wondering if I were in the same situation what
> call the police. Yes my son would be upset that he'd lost a friend, but
> I think he would be more upset if I did nothing to protect him from this
> bully. I would sit down and explain to him what happened, what I did
> and why I did it. I think if I didn't do that I would be also sending a
> message that in order to have the friend that you want the price you
> have to pay is being beaten. I'm not sure that's a lesson I want my son
> to learn.
>
>
>
> This is a tough one though.. Good luck with it
>
>
>
>
would I do. You know it is tough. I was thinking I might call the police as
well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police. I
mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe that it
is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call the police.
Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to the
parent? Would I be sending the message that I am not always there to defend
you? Would I be sending the message that I feel it isn't a crime?
Not sure what I would do as I have never been in that situation but just some
questions I had in my own mind about the situation. And please let us know
what happens. Good learning opportunity for us all. And what your child
thought about the whole thing.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
I would make this decision based on what message my child seemed to be
getting out of all of this. My gut is that we would be calling the
police and filing for assault and threats (the belt), because I'd want
my daughter to *know* through my actions, not just my words, that I
don't believe anyone has a right to hit her.
I'm afraid that to do anything else is like saying, well, he shouldn't
have, but what can you do? Which sends a message of powerlessness that
I never want my daughters to feel.
This whole thing is sickening. ~Rue
getting out of all of this. My gut is that we would be calling the
police and filing for assault and threats (the belt), because I'd want
my daughter to *know* through my actions, not just my words, that I
don't believe anyone has a right to hit her.
I'm afraid that to do anything else is like saying, well, he shouldn't
have, but what can you do? Which sends a message of powerlessness that
I never want my daughters to feel.
This whole thing is sickening. ~Rue
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 7:08:34 AM, genant2@... writes:
<< after you talk with him
about this I don't believe he will be receptive to anything else you have to
say. He will probably be very defensive. And try to defend his right to
spank. >>
He will have a HELL of a time defending his right to spank someone else's
child who is visiting in his home, though.
Sandra
<< after you talk with him
about this I don't believe he will be receptive to anything else you have to
say. He will probably be very defensive. And try to defend his right to
spank. >>
He will have a HELL of a time defending his right to spank someone else's
child who is visiting in his home, though.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 7:51:12 AM, astrologerdawn@... writes:
<< WOW!!! IMHO There would be no point in talking to this person as he
doesn't get it that it's not ok to deal with his anger about his
inability to control everyone and everything in the manner he did.
Obviously this man has some big time control issues and if he's spanking
your child then he's spanking his own easily. >>
A good reason could be so that he never ever even things about spanking
someone else's kid.
If someone spanked Holly and I just didn't let her be over there anymore, if
the dad knew I knew but I didn't do any more to him than remove Holly
quietly, maybe the next time his kids have a friend he doesn't much love
he'll spank that one in hopes that her mom will remove her quietly, and so
forth.
Or maybe he has some dumbass idea that if a child is in his house he can
treat them however he wants, and he needs to hear SOON that that's just not
the case.
-=-As for the wife being a "doll" that can be a problem. She is weak and is
maybe receiving the
same treatment from him, even if it's verbal abuse.-=-
A VERY good point. And she truly might not know he spanked the visiting
child.
It might help to find and give him a printed out copy of the local laws about
assault, battery, whatever applies.
-=-If this is all ok with her then I'd
call the police. Yes my son would be upset that he'd lost a friend, but
I think he would be more upset if I did nothing to protect him from this
bully. -=-
The parents are not the children, though.
If Holly wanted to keep a friend, I would help her figure out how to deal
with maintaining that friendship while still feeling safe and comfortable
around the parents, OR help arrange that she's never with the parents when
other adults aren't also around.
If my friends' parents had forbidden them to hang out with me at all when I
was younger because my mom was a drunk, that would have been a harsh
punishment for me, who didn't even drink at all.
-=-I think if I didn't do that I would be also sending a
message that in order to have the friend that you want the price you
have to pay is being beaten. I'm not sure that's a lesson I want my son
to learn.-=-
But you probably also don't want him to be learning that you never stay and
defend your rights, you just run away. If the girl in the story still wants
to go to visit the other home, she could be coached and empowered to say, in
the case of a spanking-possibility, "Don't touch me or I will call my mom and
she will call the police."
That's a useful speech for any kid to learn for such instances.
I wouldn't break up a friendship without trying other measures to save it.
Sandra
<< WOW!!! IMHO There would be no point in talking to this person as he
doesn't get it that it's not ok to deal with his anger about his
inability to control everyone and everything in the manner he did.
Obviously this man has some big time control issues and if he's spanking
your child then he's spanking his own easily. >>
A good reason could be so that he never ever even things about spanking
someone else's kid.
If someone spanked Holly and I just didn't let her be over there anymore, if
the dad knew I knew but I didn't do any more to him than remove Holly
quietly, maybe the next time his kids have a friend he doesn't much love
he'll spank that one in hopes that her mom will remove her quietly, and so
forth.
Or maybe he has some dumbass idea that if a child is in his house he can
treat them however he wants, and he needs to hear SOON that that's just not
the case.
-=-As for the wife being a "doll" that can be a problem. She is weak and is
maybe receiving the
same treatment from him, even if it's verbal abuse.-=-
A VERY good point. And she truly might not know he spanked the visiting
child.
It might help to find and give him a printed out copy of the local laws about
assault, battery, whatever applies.
-=-If this is all ok with her then I'd
call the police. Yes my son would be upset that he'd lost a friend, but
I think he would be more upset if I did nothing to protect him from this
bully. -=-
The parents are not the children, though.
If Holly wanted to keep a friend, I would help her figure out how to deal
with maintaining that friendship while still feeling safe and comfortable
around the parents, OR help arrange that she's never with the parents when
other adults aren't also around.
If my friends' parents had forbidden them to hang out with me at all when I
was younger because my mom was a drunk, that would have been a harsh
punishment for me, who didn't even drink at all.
-=-I think if I didn't do that I would be also sending a
message that in order to have the friend that you want the price you
have to pay is being beaten. I'm not sure that's a lesson I want my son
to learn.-=-
But you probably also don't want him to be learning that you never stay and
defend your rights, you just run away. If the girl in the story still wants
to go to visit the other home, she could be coached and empowered to say, in
the case of a spanking-possibility, "Don't touch me or I will call my mom and
she will call the police."
That's a useful speech for any kid to learn for such instances.
I wouldn't break up a friendship without trying other measures to save it.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 9:14:06 AM, scenichillhomeschool@...
writes:
<< This goes without saying. They will only play here from now on
(Well if they are still friends far into the future that may
change). My dd. and I talked and she is a bit sad to hear this,
because she understands she will most likey not be able to play as
often but she also agrees that the father can not be trusted.
Who cares if he can be "trusted" if he can be told in no uncertain terms
never to touch her again.
To hell with "trust," go with threat if you have to.
But let your daughter live in the world instead of hiding like SHE did
something wrong. She didn't. And she will learn from the bad example of
that family just what kind of parent she does NOT want to be.
Holly has a couple of families she visits where she comes back and says,
"Mom, WHY are people so STUPID with their kids?" She's a good influence,
because they know she doesn't live with the threat of being spanked or
grounded. So the parents see her behaving better than their own kids and
they MUST sometimes think that they might be wrong. She's a beacon to
parental choices and thought.
Across the street is/was (haven't seen her lately) a girl about seven years
old. Holly's known her a couple of years. She was being BADLY raised by her
young dad and his younger brother. Where the mom ended up, I don't know.
Alive, but elsewhere.
Holly would play with her sometimes, usually at their house. But three times
she just walked and came home because the uncle (who was really the more
attentive and better caregiver) was making her scared or nervous by being
irrational and lame. Nothing dramatic, just nonsense. Like they were using
our neighbor's pool, and the girl wanted her towel or something outside the
pool, and the uncle said "Stay in the pool." And she said, "But I just
want..." "STAY IN THE POOL," and Holly said he wasn't even looking at
them, just kind of staring away, thinking about something else. So Holly got
out and got the thing and handed it to the little girl very nicely, and the
uncle seemed not even to notice.
This Thanksgiving he died. I'm kind of relieved. He got sick and went to
the hospital and died. Some flu or infection or whatnot. It won't be better
for that little girl, probably, but better for Holly's peace in the
cul-de-sac, I think.
Holly would have been hurt more by me saying "NO, you can't go swim," or "No,
you just have to tell that little girl you can't play." She would have
learned less and felt restrained. I never made her play there, certainly.
But I didn't prevent her either. She was, as usual, making informed
decisions with back-up plans, and not staying any longer than she wanted to.
Sandra
writes:
<< This goes without saying. They will only play here from now on
(Well if they are still friends far into the future that may
change). My dd. and I talked and she is a bit sad to hear this,
because she understands she will most likey not be able to play as
often but she also agrees that the father can not be trusted.
>>I would care more about my daughter's wishes.
Who cares if he can be "trusted" if he can be told in no uncertain terms
never to touch her again.
To hell with "trust," go with threat if you have to.
But let your daughter live in the world instead of hiding like SHE did
something wrong. She didn't. And she will learn from the bad example of
that family just what kind of parent she does NOT want to be.
Holly has a couple of families she visits where she comes back and says,
"Mom, WHY are people so STUPID with their kids?" She's a good influence,
because they know she doesn't live with the threat of being spanked or
grounded. So the parents see her behaving better than their own kids and
they MUST sometimes think that they might be wrong. She's a beacon to
parental choices and thought.
Across the street is/was (haven't seen her lately) a girl about seven years
old. Holly's known her a couple of years. She was being BADLY raised by her
young dad and his younger brother. Where the mom ended up, I don't know.
Alive, but elsewhere.
Holly would play with her sometimes, usually at their house. But three times
she just walked and came home because the uncle (who was really the more
attentive and better caregiver) was making her scared or nervous by being
irrational and lame. Nothing dramatic, just nonsense. Like they were using
our neighbor's pool, and the girl wanted her towel or something outside the
pool, and the uncle said "Stay in the pool." And she said, "But I just
want..." "STAY IN THE POOL," and Holly said he wasn't even looking at
them, just kind of staring away, thinking about something else. So Holly got
out and got the thing and handed it to the little girl very nicely, and the
uncle seemed not even to notice.
This Thanksgiving he died. I'm kind of relieved. He got sick and went to
the hospital and died. Some flu or infection or whatnot. It won't be better
for that little girl, probably, but better for Holly's peace in the
cul-de-sac, I think.
Holly would have been hurt more by me saying "NO, you can't go swim," or "No,
you just have to tell that little girl you can't play." She would have
learned less and felt restrained. I never made her play there, certainly.
But I didn't prevent her either. She was, as usual, making informed
decisions with back-up plans, and not staying any longer than she wanted to.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 10:12:23 AM, genant2@... writes:
<< I was thinking I might call the police as
well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police. I
mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe that it
is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call the police.
Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to the
parent? >>
What does the CHILD think?
VERY important.
Your child might be mad at you the rest of your life if you lose her a
friendship she treasures. It wasn't her friend who hit her.
Sandra
<< I was thinking I might call the police as
well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police. I
mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe that it
is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call the police.
Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to the
parent? >>
What does the CHILD think?
VERY important.
Your child might be mad at you the rest of your life if you lose her a
friendship she treasures. It wasn't her friend who hit her.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 10:50:29 AM, skreams@... writes:
<< I'm afraid that to do anything else is like saying, well, he shouldn't
have, but what can you do? >>
There's a big world between doing nothing and calling the police.
Sandra
<< I'm afraid that to do anything else is like saying, well, he shouldn't
have, but what can you do? >>
There's a big world between doing nothing and calling the police.
Sandra
Tia Leschke
> I was thinking about that. Wondering if I were in the same situation whatas
> would I do. You know it is tough. I was thinking I might call the police
> well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police.I
> mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe thatit
> is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call thepolice.
> Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to thedefend
> parent? Would I be sending the message that I am not always there to
> you? Would I be sending the message that I feel it isn't a crime?I'd be inclined to do the same, but I really doubt that the police would do
anything. If you left the man in charge of your child, which would be
assumed since you left her there with him, then he was acting "in loco
parentis", standing in place of the parent. He would likely by law have the
"right" to discipline your child in any legal manner. Now if you had left
him with instructions that he was *not* to use spanking as a discipline
tool, then the police would have something to act on. I'm hoping that I'm
actually wrong about this, but I don't think so. I sure wouldn't leave her
there again, or maybe only if you knew that the mother rather than the
father was going to be there.
Tia
Jon and Rue Kream
"There's a big world between doing nothing and calling the police."
That's absolutely true, and I would do my best to think of other
possible options. We work through our decisions together as a family,
but ultimately it would be up to my daughter. I would do whatever she
wanted me to do. I would just want it very clear to her that we would
go to the police if that's what she chose.
I'm still thinking all this through because I can't imagine it
happening, and I'm sickened by the fact that this man evidently feels
secure in his right to hit someone as long as it's a child. ~Rue
That's absolutely true, and I would do my best to think of other
possible options. We work through our decisions together as a family,
but ultimately it would be up to my daughter. I would do whatever she
wanted me to do. I would just want it very clear to her that we would
go to the police if that's what she chose.
I'm still thinking all this through because I can't imagine it
happening, and I'm sickened by the fact that this man evidently feels
secure in his right to hit someone as long as it's a child. ~Rue
Nancy Wooton
on 1/26/03 6:41 AM, Laura Gates-Lupton at laura_gates@... wrote:
Nancy, likewise appalled.
> Like everyone else who responded, I am completely appalled that this man wouldI think I'd find out if he took her pants down...
> spank your child.
Nancy, likewise appalled.
callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@hotma
--- In [email protected], Laura Gates-Lupton
<laura_gates@y...> wrote:
if he learned that he did not have control of her behavior outside of
the home. Life might become considerably worse for her.>>>>>
<laura_gates@y...> wrote:
>home. He sounds like the kind of man who would become more punitive
>
>>>Also, I would not tell him about his daughter's behavior in your
if he learned that he did not have control of her behavior outside of
the home. Life might become considerably worse for her.>>>>>
>and will not. I have only gently spoken to her.
>
> This is exactly why I never have told him, about her behavior here,
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@hotma
--- In [email protected], Kate Green <karegree@e...>
wrote:
happened when I picked her up. After I said "WHAT!" I wanted to be
sure we were talking about a real spanking and not just a, hey you
silly stop it or I'll spank you, followed with a jesting pat. It was
a real spanking.
The next thing I said was "If ANYONE and I me ANYONE tries to hit
you, you have the right to say STOP! and that if it was an adult to
say "Call my mom NOW!" or call herself.
She did ask me to tell her again what to say if anyone tries to hit
her. She wants to understand exactly how to react. Good for her. I
just wish somehow I could have given her that knowlegde first. I
wasn't thinking, certainly not expecting it.
Cally
wrote:
>>>>> An additional thing to think about is how your daughter reactedto it. If
> it was no big deal to her then perhaps the situation warrants asmaller
> discussion with the guy but if she is truly upset then perhaps alittle
> stronger action might be in order.Oh Elaine was upset. It was the very first thing she told me
>
> Kate
happened when I picked her up. After I said "WHAT!" I wanted to be
sure we were talking about a real spanking and not just a, hey you
silly stop it or I'll spank you, followed with a jesting pat. It was
a real spanking.
The next thing I said was "If ANYONE and I me ANYONE tries to hit
you, you have the right to say STOP! and that if it was an adult to
say "Call my mom NOW!" or call herself.
She did ask me to tell her again what to say if anyone tries to hit
her. She wants to understand exactly how to react. Good for her. I
just wish somehow I could have given her that knowlegde first. I
wasn't thinking, certainly not expecting it.
Cally
callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@hotma
--- In [email protected], genant2@a... wrote:
made me think AHHHHHH! leave me alone you are not my dad or
anything! What are you gonna do ground me next?" Elaine is aware
that other children have parents that are not so great and she knows
her friend is sometimes spanked and is often grounded.
Cally
> In a message dated 1/26/03 9:51:11 AM Eastern Standard Time,She said all she thought was that it was wrong. Then she said" It
> astrologerdawn@e... writes:
>>>> And what your child
> thought about the whole thing. >>>
made me think AHHHHHH! leave me alone you are not my dad or
anything! What are you gonna do ground me next?" Elaine is aware
that other children have parents that are not so great and she knows
her friend is sometimes spanked and is often grounded.
>I asked her if she said anything. No she was to angry and scared.
Cally
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 12:28:32 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
many times that when a child was in her home she would discipline that child
as she did her own. And that meant spanking. Or she would say when a child
was in her care she would do what she felt was appropriate. I believe he
will probably take that same stance.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> . He will probably be very defensive. And try to defend his right toI didn't say I believed it was right but I remember hearing my mother say
> spank. >>
>
> He will have a HELL of a time defending his right to spank someone else's
> child who is visiting in his home, though.
>
>
many times that when a child was in her home she would discipline that child
as she did her own. And that meant spanking. Or she would say when a child
was in her care she would do what she felt was appropriate. I believe he
will probably take that same stance.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joylyn
I th ink I would want my child to see this as a big deal. This would be
an important lesson for her as well--people don't hit people.
JOylyn
Kate Green wrote:
an important lesson for her as well--people don't hit people.
JOylyn
Kate Green wrote:
> I think I ask myself here how would your husband react if you came[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> home and
> told him that this next door neighbour had spanked you for being rowdy in
> his home or vice versa. This would be considered assault right? So why is
> it different for a child. Someone hit her outside her home so in my
> opinion
> this should be taken as seriously as if this guy hit another adult.
> How you handle it might depend on how you would handle it if it were an
> adult. It could be in the form of a serious discussion or a call to the
> police. A lot would depend on how you want the relationship to be in the
> future.
>
> An additional thing to think about is how your daughter reacted to it. If
> it was no big deal to her then perhaps the situation warrants a smaller
> discussion with the guy but if she is truly upset then perhaps a little
> stronger action might be in order.
>
> Kate
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 1:19:17 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> <<I'm afraid that to do anything else is like saying, well, he shouldn'tNot that I have the answers but if he hit my husband I would call the police.
> have, but what can you do? >>
>
> There's a big world between doing nothing and calling the police.
>
>
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 1:52:12 PM Eastern Standard Time, leschke@...
writes:
I think you are right but I think that the message I sent the child about our
relationship is that I would stand up for him. I didn't fail, the system
did. Although I don't know really what I would do in that situation, hope I
never find out.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> I'd be inclined to do the same, but I really doubt that the police would doTia,
> anything.
I think you are right but I think that the message I sent the child about our
relationship is that I would stand up for him. I didn't fail, the system
did. Although I don't know really what I would do in that situation, hope I
never find out.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
coyote's corner
Hello,
I am new to the list. I've not posted before. I home school my
granddaughter. We also operate a home business, www.coyotescorner.com
<http://www.coyotescorner.com/>
"Very Cool Stuff for the World". We work pow wows, festivals, and of course,
the e-catalog.
That's my introduction.
When I was five years old. I was molested by Margie, my baby-sitter. My Mom
had brought Margie into our home to help her with the newborn and me. In
reality, my mom had brought Margie into our home to save her. Margie was
sleeping in my double bed with me. It was January, 1955
Margie's dad was EXACTLY like the man you describe. Right down to the food.
Margie's brother, Jimmy used to literally eat his bed. The headboard was
slowly being gnawed away. They were beaten. I remember visiting their mom
with my mom and watching their dad count out slices of bologna. I also
remember some of the punishments they received. One was "the cross" They
had to stand with their arms straight out..for hours and hours. He would
beat them with a switch if their arms dropped.
That man assaulted your child. This is a punishable offense. He broke the
law. How exactly did he spank her? Did he put her over his knee? Did he
spank her through her clothes? What will he do next time? And there will be
a next time. He doesn't respect boundaries. He doesn't respect your
daughter. He doesn't respect you. Do you have a man? Do you think this jerk
respects your husband? No matter what you do, he will be in control. He will
hit her again.
I would call the police.
I would not have any contact with him.
You cannot help him.
Spanking is the tip of the ice burg.
You cannot change him.
He knows that he is right.
If you disagree, you are wrong.
This kind of behavior only gets worse.
Cuff him.
Peace,
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@...>
[mailto:scenichillhomeschool@...]
Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2003 1:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
My daughter has a friend, whose father is the strict follow the
rules (that are always changing) or else you'll get it, kinda guy. My
daughter seems to really enjoy this little girls company so mostly
they play here. But sometimes the father feels his daughter spends
to much time here and they should play at his home. Today my
daughter played at their house. When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
My daughter says, "We were pretending to be zombies, with dry scaly
skin, and when we said AHHHH! the little sister pretended to be
scared so she screamed." At this point the father told them to "Stop
scaring the little sister."
I asked my daughter if they were trying to scare the her. She says
they were not and that she was laughing and playing with them. Well
they continued to play and the little sister screamed again to which
the father said I told you to stop then spanked my daughter and her
friend and warned them if they did it again he was going to "get the
belt".......
Breathe........breathe.....breathe.....(talking to myself here)..
So there is no question that I will be speaking to this man. But it
could be more.
What I am looking for are your suggestions. I see this as (maybe)
an opportunity to speak to this man about other options in
parenting. By the way, his wife is a doll and I really like her.
You see his child, of all my childrens friends, (I have four
children)is by far the worst behaved. I know it is because of his
oppression. The very issues he has the tightest rules on in his home
are the very same things she takes advantage of in my home.
An example is food. Food is tightly regulated in their home,
where they eat, how much, and not a bit is to be wasted EVER. So in
my home she is always wasting food, by that I mean taking way more
then she can eat then throwing it away. Manners are strictly
enforced in her home, when she is here you would hardly know she had
any. These are small examples (there are more) but proof that the
father is creating the exact opposite of what he wants.
Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
oh, my dd Elaine is 7 almost 8.
Cally
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am new to the list. I've not posted before. I home school my
granddaughter. We also operate a home business, www.coyotescorner.com
<http://www.coyotescorner.com/>
"Very Cool Stuff for the World". We work pow wows, festivals, and of course,
the e-catalog.
That's my introduction.
When I was five years old. I was molested by Margie, my baby-sitter. My Mom
had brought Margie into our home to help her with the newborn and me. In
reality, my mom had brought Margie into our home to save her. Margie was
sleeping in my double bed with me. It was January, 1955
Margie's dad was EXACTLY like the man you describe. Right down to the food.
Margie's brother, Jimmy used to literally eat his bed. The headboard was
slowly being gnawed away. They were beaten. I remember visiting their mom
with my mom and watching their dad count out slices of bologna. I also
remember some of the punishments they received. One was "the cross" They
had to stand with their arms straight out..for hours and hours. He would
beat them with a switch if their arms dropped.
That man assaulted your child. This is a punishable offense. He broke the
law. How exactly did he spank her? Did he put her over his knee? Did he
spank her through her clothes? What will he do next time? And there will be
a next time. He doesn't respect boundaries. He doesn't respect your
daughter. He doesn't respect you. Do you have a man? Do you think this jerk
respects your husband? No matter what you do, he will be in control. He will
hit her again.
I would call the police.
I would not have any contact with him.
You cannot help him.
Spanking is the tip of the ice burg.
You cannot change him.
He knows that he is right.
If you disagree, you are wrong.
This kind of behavior only gets worse.
Cuff him.
Peace,
Janis
-----Original Message-----
From: callymom2000 <scenichillhomeschool@...>
[mailto:scenichillhomeschool@...]
Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2003 1:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
My daughter has a friend, whose father is the strict follow the
rules (that are always changing) or else you'll get it, kinda guy. My
daughter seems to really enjoy this little girls company so mostly
they play here. But sometimes the father feels his daughter spends
to much time here and they should play at his home. Today my
daughter played at their house. When she came home she was quick to
tell me, the father spanked her and A. "WHAT?!"
My daughter says, "We were pretending to be zombies, with dry scaly
skin, and when we said AHHHH! the little sister pretended to be
scared so she screamed." At this point the father told them to "Stop
scaring the little sister."
I asked my daughter if they were trying to scare the her. She says
they were not and that she was laughing and playing with them. Well
they continued to play and the little sister screamed again to which
the father said I told you to stop then spanked my daughter and her
friend and warned them if they did it again he was going to "get the
belt".......
Breathe........breathe.....breathe.....(talking to myself here)..
So there is no question that I will be speaking to this man. But it
could be more.
What I am looking for are your suggestions. I see this as (maybe)
an opportunity to speak to this man about other options in
parenting. By the way, his wife is a doll and I really like her.
You see his child, of all my childrens friends, (I have four
children)is by far the worst behaved. I know it is because of his
oppression. The very issues he has the tightest rules on in his home
are the very same things she takes advantage of in my home.
An example is food. Food is tightly regulated in their home,
where they eat, how much, and not a bit is to be wasted EVER. So in
my home she is always wasting food, by that I mean taking way more
then she can eat then throwing it away. Manners are strictly
enforced in her home, when she is here you would hardly know she had
any. These are small examples (there are more) but proof that the
father is creating the exact opposite of what he wants.
Do you think it is possible for me to help this family and in doing
so help my daughters friend? Or should I just deal with the spanking
issue and continue to set an example of how life can be different and
joyful with children. I know he sees the joy my family has.
oh, my dd Elaine is 7 almost 8.
Cally
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
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<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 1:16:38 PM, genant2@... writes:
<< Not that I have the answers but if he hit my husband I would call the
police. >>
Even if your husband wanted to handle it another way?
<< Not that I have the answers but if he hit my husband I would call the
police. >>
Even if your husband wanted to handle it another way?
coyote's corner
-----Original Message-----
From: Tia Leschke [mailto:leschke@...]
Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2003 1:37 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
* I was thinking about that. Wondering if I were in the same
situation what
anything. If you left the man in charge of your child, which would be
assumed since you left her there with him, then he was acting "in loco
parentis", standing in place of the parent
THIS IS NOT TRUE:.
* He would likely by law have the
"right" to discipline your child in any legal manner. No one has that right.
Now if you had left
him with instructions that he was *not* to use spanking as a discipline
tool, then the police would have something to act on. I'm hoping that I'm
actually wrong about this, but I don't think so. I sure wouldn't leave her
there again, or maybe only if you knew that the mother rather than the
father was going to be there.
Tia
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From: Tia Leschke [mailto:leschke@...]
Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2003 1:37 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] He spanked my child...Grrrrrrr!
* I was thinking about that. Wondering if I were in the same
situation what
> would I do. You know it is tough. I was thinking I might call the policeas
> well. Was thinking what would my child think if I didn't call the police.I
> mean hitting someone is against the law (for adults). If I believe thatit
> is wrong to hit a child then the logical consequence is to call thepolice.
> Would my child feel that I was not defending him if I only talked to thedefend
> parent? Would I be sending the message that I am not always there to
> you? Would I be sending the message that I feel it isn't a crime?I'd be inclined to do the same, but I really doubt that the police would do
anything. If you left the man in charge of your child, which would be
assumed since you left her there with him, then he was acting "in loco
parentis", standing in place of the parent
THIS IS NOT TRUE:.
* He would likely by law have the
"right" to discipline your child in any legal manner. No one has that right.
Now if you had left
him with instructions that he was *not* to use spanking as a discipline
tool, then the police would have something to act on. I'm hoping that I'm
actually wrong about this, but I don't think so. I sure wouldn't leave her
there again, or maybe only if you knew that the mother rather than the
father was going to be there.
Tia
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
HGTV Dream Home Giveaway
<http://rd.yahoo.com/M=241773.2861420.4212388.2848452/D=egroupweb/S=17055421
11:HM/A=1394044/R=0/*http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/pac_ctnt/text/0,,HGTV_3936_580
2,FF.html>
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Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/26/03 3:38:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
made sure we didn't need to go to the hospital) and not think about it too
much. It is a crime I would not want to be repeated. I can't imagine my
husband not thinking it was a crime. If someone hit him I am thinking I
would probably not take that amount of time. To actually sit down and ask
what he thinks and what he wants. I am just trying to picture it happening.
I think I would immediatly call the police.
And I agree that it would have been good if the child could have said
"No...call my mom right now." Although I know you had no idea that this
would happen and no preparation. But I have thought about this. Not with
friends because my boys don't go to anyones house to play if I am not there.
I think that is just the age and most of their friends are in public school.
But I have thought about what if my FIL ever tried to spank my children and I
have told my DH to have a talk with his dad before he comes to visit. I
could see him trying to spank my boys, that is just his thinking....you don't
finish a meal you get spanked etc... Have tried to think about how to avoid
it and what I would do if it happened. Like I said I have no good answers
only more questions.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Even if your husband wanted to handle it another way?Not sure.....I think my first reaction would be to call the police (after I
>
>
made sure we didn't need to go to the hospital) and not think about it too
much. It is a crime I would not want to be repeated. I can't imagine my
husband not thinking it was a crime. If someone hit him I am thinking I
would probably not take that amount of time. To actually sit down and ask
what he thinks and what he wants. I am just trying to picture it happening.
I think I would immediatly call the police.
And I agree that it would have been good if the child could have said
"No...call my mom right now." Although I know you had no idea that this
would happen and no preparation. But I have thought about this. Not with
friends because my boys don't go to anyones house to play if I am not there.
I think that is just the age and most of their friends are in public school.
But I have thought about what if my FIL ever tried to spank my children and I
have told my DH to have a talk with his dad before he comes to visit. I
could see him trying to spank my boys, that is just his thinking....you don't
finish a meal you get spanked etc... Have tried to think about how to avoid
it and what I would do if it happened. Like I said I have no good answers
only more questions.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]