Re: Fear
[email protected]
Hi again,
when the kids were younger it was a struggle to have that "leap of faith" -
since we were in the military community, our style was exceptionally strange.
And children learning at home was not a usual way of life - often unheard
of. But I knew in my heart that how I felt with them at home vs when they
were in school (Chris went thro 4th grade, and Shawn K) that it was right. I
found kindred spirits in LaLeche League.
When Shawn started community college here (he discovered it was cheaper to
become a full-time student and have extended health insurance, then buy the
ins.), he struggled with taking notes, and studying. BUT, he used to call me
and tell me the whole class of things like mythology. He was so jazzed about
what he was learning. He even took me to school with him one day to share
the experience.
Now he is in PA and on a diving scholarship. He feels such a sense of
responsibility to his coach and the school. He manages good grades even tho
he works as a bartender, works out tons and has a girlfriend. He is majoring
in acting, and gets quite annoyed at the others in group projects that aren't
committed and serious about the whole thing. Most of the students are
regular college age.
I don't doubt that I would still think my kids were pretty terrific if they
had gone to school (like some of my friends' and relatives' kids), but I can
see an inner committment, drive, and a personal responsibility that I think
helps them focus on what they want, and gets them there. Watching them gives
me a high. Not to say that there aren't times when life comes crashing in,
and I have a heartache for some of the choices they make while they continue
on their journey.
Shawn said recently, homeschooling is one way, but doesn't have to be THE
way! I sure think it was the BEST way for him, he was so into the peer
pressure, getting it only out of school hours was plenty :-). He asked me
when he was 12 why I didn't get a job, so I wouldn't be there ALL the time.
HE was why I need to be there all the time at that point.
I could go on endlessly, but for now I simply wish to re-assure those of you
that are behind me on this path, that your children benefit SO much by the
choice you have made in keeping them at home. It shows thro in so many ways
as they grow up.
bye for now,
Connie
when the kids were younger it was a struggle to have that "leap of faith" -
since we were in the military community, our style was exceptionally strange.
And children learning at home was not a usual way of life - often unheard
of. But I knew in my heart that how I felt with them at home vs when they
were in school (Chris went thro 4th grade, and Shawn K) that it was right. I
found kindred spirits in LaLeche League.
When Shawn started community college here (he discovered it was cheaper to
become a full-time student and have extended health insurance, then buy the
ins.), he struggled with taking notes, and studying. BUT, he used to call me
and tell me the whole class of things like mythology. He was so jazzed about
what he was learning. He even took me to school with him one day to share
the experience.
Now he is in PA and on a diving scholarship. He feels such a sense of
responsibility to his coach and the school. He manages good grades even tho
he works as a bartender, works out tons and has a girlfriend. He is majoring
in acting, and gets quite annoyed at the others in group projects that aren't
committed and serious about the whole thing. Most of the students are
regular college age.
I don't doubt that I would still think my kids were pretty terrific if they
had gone to school (like some of my friends' and relatives' kids), but I can
see an inner committment, drive, and a personal responsibility that I think
helps them focus on what they want, and gets them there. Watching them gives
me a high. Not to say that there aren't times when life comes crashing in,
and I have a heartache for some of the choices they make while they continue
on their journey.
Shawn said recently, homeschooling is one way, but doesn't have to be THE
way! I sure think it was the BEST way for him, he was so into the peer
pressure, getting it only out of school hours was plenty :-). He asked me
when he was 12 why I didn't get a job, so I wouldn't be there ALL the time.
HE was why I need to be there all the time at that point.
I could go on endlessly, but for now I simply wish to re-assure those of you
that are behind me on this path, that your children benefit SO much by the
choice you have made in keeping them at home. It shows thro in so many ways
as they grow up.
bye for now,
Connie
> I see it the potential success with my kids, but it's little, because[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> they're
> still home.
>
> I really liked reading where your kids are at the moment, and that the
> diver
> has A's too.
> Not that "A's" are a goal, but it might be making him feel societally right
> and good and legit, if he ever did have those doubts.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
Joanna Wilkinson
Someone e mailed me and asked how Sam died and how they had a lot of
fear that something would happen to thier child, but didn't know how
to stop worrying. I decided to post my response here incase anyone
else had the same issues.
Sam died 5 years ago, Jan. 19, 2003 when he fell through the ice on a
pond at our rec. dept. He was there with friends of ours for their
daughters indoor lacrosse game. Their son and Sam went outside and
onto the pond. Their son fell through too, but managed to hang on
til the rescue workers arrived. Sam was lost instantly.
My advice to you, is to let go of your fear. It will do you
absolutely no good.
It will waste the time you have with your son that could be spent in
trust and joy.
Breath through it when the fear comes. Let it go.
I had fear before Sam died which intensified for my other kids after
he died, and I have spent a lot of time breathing through it. I will
not let my fear affect my kids life. I will not let it limit their
possibilities. I've had to watch my kids go off with other people,
with the memory of Sam leaving our house that day to go play with his
friend. As they walked off our porch, Sam, who was really excited
about playing Animal Crossing with his buddy said to him, "this is
going to be the best day of our life!"
Every time I watch one of my other kids leave with someone other than
me, I have that memory. It helps me to really be grateful for the
time I have and to try to not waste it.
My oldest has been to Europe and Florida without us. She is driving
now and comes and goes quite a bit with work and school. She's
heading off to college in the fall. Deep breaths and a knowing that
I really cant control her destiny keeps me sane. I try not to let
the fear take me deeper.
If I can do it. You can do it.
Joanna
fear that something would happen to thier child, but didn't know how
to stop worrying. I decided to post my response here incase anyone
else had the same issues.
Sam died 5 years ago, Jan. 19, 2003 when he fell through the ice on a
pond at our rec. dept. He was there with friends of ours for their
daughters indoor lacrosse game. Their son and Sam went outside and
onto the pond. Their son fell through too, but managed to hang on
til the rescue workers arrived. Sam was lost instantly.
My advice to you, is to let go of your fear. It will do you
absolutely no good.
It will waste the time you have with your son that could be spent in
trust and joy.
Breath through it when the fear comes. Let it go.
I had fear before Sam died which intensified for my other kids after
he died, and I have spent a lot of time breathing through it. I will
not let my fear affect my kids life. I will not let it limit their
possibilities. I've had to watch my kids go off with other people,
with the memory of Sam leaving our house that day to go play with his
friend. As they walked off our porch, Sam, who was really excited
about playing Animal Crossing with his buddy said to him, "this is
going to be the best day of our life!"
Every time I watch one of my other kids leave with someone other than
me, I have that memory. It helps me to really be grateful for the
time I have and to try to not waste it.
My oldest has been to Europe and Florida without us. She is driving
now and comes and goes quite a bit with work and school. She's
heading off to college in the fall. Deep breaths and a knowing that
I really cant control her destiny keeps me sane. I try not to let
the fear take me deeper.
If I can do it. You can do it.
Joanna
shnunrizzo
Joanna,
I'm so sorry for your loss of Sam. It was very helpful to read your
note; I'd just had my own moment of fear for my kids as I was sitting
down to the computer. My moment of fear was uninstigated by anything,
just one of those moments, and then I saw your note. I don't know how
I would bear it but you're right: spending our time worrying
about "what ifs" only steals from the time we have, and it doesn't
lessent the pain any should something horrible happen.
Thanks for sharing your story,
Shannon
I'm so sorry for your loss of Sam. It was very helpful to read your
note; I'd just had my own moment of fear for my kids as I was sitting
down to the computer. My moment of fear was uninstigated by anything,
just one of those moments, and then I saw your note. I don't know how
I would bear it but you're right: spending our time worrying
about "what ifs" only steals from the time we have, and it doesn't
lessent the pain any should something horrible happen.
Thanks for sharing your story,
Shannon
j md
Thankyou Joanna,
We had a bad experience last november when our little 3 year old almost died from chocking.She was fine eating cheese one minute the next my husband was calling me and she was blue and unconsious.I honestly thought she was dead as i was holding her.I was running around screaming and it took what seemed like forever for me to remember that you are meant to hit them on the back....when i did she brought up everything and started breathing again...it was the worst thing i have ever been through.The doctor told us at the hospital that if i hadnt remembered she would have died it was that pat that saved her life.As i read what you wrote i read about the fear you felt for your other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.Thankyou joanna for sharing your
story with us....with me a complete stranger...it might be able to help so many others out there.
Luna
Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
www.yahoo7.com.au/y7mail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We had a bad experience last november when our little 3 year old almost died from chocking.She was fine eating cheese one minute the next my husband was calling me and she was blue and unconsious.I honestly thought she was dead as i was holding her.I was running around screaming and it took what seemed like forever for me to remember that you are meant to hit them on the back....when i did she brought up everything and started breathing again...it was the worst thing i have ever been through.The doctor told us at the hospital that if i hadnt remembered she would have died it was that pat that saved her life.As i read what you wrote i read about the fear you felt for your other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.Thankyou joanna for sharing your
story with us....with me a complete stranger...it might be able to help so many others out there.
Luna
Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
www.yahoo7.com.au/y7mail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Wilkinson
<<As i read what you wrote i read about the fear you felt for your
other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her
but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let
go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just
enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.>>
I'm not beating myself up about it (another time waster) but I'm
wondering how I could have been so vigilant about not letting my
fears hold my kids back as far as letting them go and do, but I lost
sight of the fact that my fears were not letting them learn in their
own way. I was holding them back in their own home! When I told
them we were going to go full on unschooling again, I asked them if
they were comfortable with that. Jack, in his oh so wise way
said, "Mom, I use to be really good at math until you started making
me do it." I told him I thought he was still amazing with the way he
thinks about numbers and works things out. He said, "I know".
I instantly made the shift once I remembered/woke up. I'm seeing
them like I saw Carly and Sam. I'm feeling really amazed by them.
It's not that I didn't appreciate them before now. It's like a veil
in my thinking was lifted and I see them without the what if's, and
it's such a better view!
Joanna
other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her
but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let
go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just
enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.>>
I'm not beating myself up about it (another time waster) but I'm
wondering how I could have been so vigilant about not letting my
fears hold my kids back as far as letting them go and do, but I lost
sight of the fact that my fears were not letting them learn in their
own way. I was holding them back in their own home! When I told
them we were going to go full on unschooling again, I asked them if
they were comfortable with that. Jack, in his oh so wise way
said, "Mom, I use to be really good at math until you started making
me do it." I told him I thought he was still amazing with the way he
thinks about numbers and works things out. He said, "I know".
I instantly made the shift once I remembered/woke up. I'm seeing
them like I saw Carly and Sam. I'm feeling really amazed by them.
It's not that I didn't appreciate them before now. It's like a veil
in my thinking was lifted and I see them without the what if's, and
it's such a better view!
Joanna
Sandra Dodd
-=-It's like a veil in my thinking was lifted and I see them without
the what if's, and it's such a better view!-=-
This is important.
Last night for one reason and another I was listening to some talks
from conferences. I listened to the talk Diana Jenner gave in
Albuquerque. I listened to my own on peace not needing to be quiet.
At one point late in there I quoted this, about awareness:
"Look directly at your child. Practice watching your child without
expectations. Try to see what he is really doing, rather than seeing
what he’s NOT doing. If you hold the template of 'learning' up and
squint through that, it will be harder for you to see clearly. Just
look." It's from http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
Then I said (and I'm transcribing and with I had a footpedal!):
****************
Sometimes people are acting through a fog, like through tinted glass--
layers of tinted glass. Instead of me doing something I that would
like to do for Holly, sometimes it kicks back in that I'm saying
'what would a good mom do for a kid who is acting ideally?'
Where did those cardboard cut-outs come from? Y'know, *I* need to
do something for Holly. So it's just straight between me and Holly.
Nothing, y'know--I can touch her, no gloves, no plastic, no window,
and people forget that. They almost feel like they don't have
permission to treat their child like a real one-of-a-kind individual
child, and they're treating them like they think people ought to
treat children--vague, hypothetical children. So be aware of that.
****************
Sandra
the what if's, and it's such a better view!-=-
This is important.
Last night for one reason and another I was listening to some talks
from conferences. I listened to the talk Diana Jenner gave in
Albuquerque. I listened to my own on peace not needing to be quiet.
At one point late in there I quoted this, about awareness:
"Look directly at your child. Practice watching your child without
expectations. Try to see what he is really doing, rather than seeing
what he’s NOT doing. If you hold the template of 'learning' up and
squint through that, it will be harder for you to see clearly. Just
look." It's from http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
Then I said (and I'm transcribing and with I had a footpedal!):
****************
Sometimes people are acting through a fog, like through tinted glass--
layers of tinted glass. Instead of me doing something I that would
like to do for Holly, sometimes it kicks back in that I'm saying
'what would a good mom do for a kid who is acting ideally?'
Where did those cardboard cut-outs come from? Y'know, *I* need to
do something for Holly. So it's just straight between me and Holly.
Nothing, y'know--I can touch her, no gloves, no plastic, no window,
and people forget that. They almost feel like they don't have
permission to treat their child like a real one-of-a-kind individual
child, and they're treating them like they think people ought to
treat children--vague, hypothetical children. So be aware of that.
****************
Sandra
halfshadow1
I have padded my son's crib bars with foam when he was a baby, I
padded the floor with foam under carpet, i used to mash his toddler
meat pieces with a fork, i put duct tape on the oven's metal handles,
same with dresser knobs(for protection) I padded the corners of
walls,I never offered pop corn until a year ago. He never had gummy
candy and when he had one at the zoo he choked and needed the
heimlich. We never buy gummy anything,he hasn't asked for it. we are
afraid of letting him go outside alone because we feel we can't trust
him to stay in the yard or have the understanding yet not to wander
off. I am admitting all this to honestly overcome it. I am protective
but not as much as people who are putting helmets on their crawling
babies and kneepads on them. What do i say if my son wants to go out
alone besides " Stay in the yard" ???.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
padded the floor with foam under carpet, i used to mash his toddler
meat pieces with a fork, i put duct tape on the oven's metal handles,
same with dresser knobs(for protection) I padded the corners of
walls,I never offered pop corn until a year ago. He never had gummy
candy and when he had one at the zoo he choked and needed the
heimlich. We never buy gummy anything,he hasn't asked for it. we are
afraid of letting him go outside alone because we feel we can't trust
him to stay in the yard or have the understanding yet not to wander
off. I am admitting all this to honestly overcome it. I am protective
but not as much as people who are putting helmets on their crawling
babies and kneepads on them. What do i say if my son wants to go out
alone besides " Stay in the yard" ???.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-It's like a veil in my thinking was lifted and I see them without
> the what if's, and it's such a better view!-=-
> This is important.
>
> Last night for one reason and another I was listening to some talks
> from conferences. I listened to the talk Diana Jenner gave in
> Albuquerque. I listened to my own on peace not needing to be quiet.
>
> At one point late in there I quoted this, about awareness:
>
> "Look directly at your child. Practice watching your child without
> expectations. Try to see what he is really doing, rather than seeing
> what he's NOT doing. If you hold the template of 'learning' up and
> squint through that, it will be harder for you to see clearly. Just
> look." It's from http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
>
> Then I said (and I'm transcribing and with I had a footpedal!):
>
> ****************
>
> Sometimes people are acting through a fog, like through tinted glass--
> layers of tinted glass. Instead of me doing something I that would
> like to do for Holly, sometimes it kicks back in that I'm saying
> 'what would a good mom do for a kid who is acting ideally?'
>
> Where did those cardboard cut-outs come from? Y'know, *I* need to
> do something for Holly. So it's just straight between me and Holly.
> Nothing, y'know--I can touch her, no gloves, no plastic, no window,
> and people forget that. They almost feel like they don't have
> permission to treat their child like a real one-of-a-kind individual
> child, and they're treating them like they think people ought to
> treat children--vague, hypothetical children. So be aware of that.
>
> ****************
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
Shannon Foust
Re. going out in the yard...
Depending on his age, I would go out with him until you feel he is old enough developmentally to stay in the yard. I am finding that the more freedom I give (even supervised freedom) the less the need to sneak off, wander off, or run off. If he wants to go around the block, go with him.
Shannon
www.myspace.com/soldout641
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1040601130
www.homeschoolblogger.com/soldout841
---------------------------------
You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Depending on his age, I would go out with him until you feel he is old enough developmentally to stay in the yard. I am finding that the more freedom I give (even supervised freedom) the less the need to sneak off, wander off, or run off. If he wants to go around the block, go with him.
Shannon
www.myspace.com/soldout641
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1040601130
www.homeschoolblogger.com/soldout841
---------------------------------
You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Wiley
On Sun, Mar 30, 2008 at 11:54 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
thought
yesterday--I was cleaning house and had certain things I wanted done before
people
came over. There wasn't time to do it all, and I had a little conversation
going in my
head where someone was being critical (faceless someone, certainly wasn't
anyone
who was coming over) and I was thinking, "Don't look at what I *haven't*
done--
look at all I *have* done!" I was talking to myself, I guess.
And then it struck me to ponder how often I might've done that to my kids--
looked more at what they hadn't done than what they had. Or times I've done
it to my husband, or my parents, or anyone. It's a good thing to be thinking
about,
so that I can be thankful, interested, and appreciative, not critical.
Lissa, mom of 5
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Wow. So strange to be reading this today because I had a similar train of
>
> At one point late in there I quoted this, about awareness:
>
> "Look directly at your child. Practice watching your child without
> expectations. Try to see what he is really doing, rather than seeing
> what he's NOT doing. If you hold the template of 'learning' up and
> squint through that, it will be harder for you to see clearly. Just
> look." It's from http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
>
>
thought
yesterday--I was cleaning house and had certain things I wanted done before
people
came over. There wasn't time to do it all, and I had a little conversation
going in my
head where someone was being critical (faceless someone, certainly wasn't
anyone
who was coming over) and I was thinking, "Don't look at what I *haven't*
done--
look at all I *have* done!" I was talking to myself, I guess.
And then it struck me to ponder how often I might've done that to my kids--
looked more at what they hadn't done than what they had. Or times I've done
it to my husband, or my parents, or anyone. It's a good thing to be thinking
about,
so that I can be thankful, interested, and appreciative, not critical.
Lissa, mom of 5
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-i put duct tape on the oven's metal handles,
same with dresser knobs(for protection) -=-
Duct tape and foam, or what?
Putting duct tape on oven handles seems wrong and dangerous. The
glue will get gooey; will the plastic (or plastic-coated cloth) get hot?
-=-He never had gummy candy and when he had one at the zoo he choked
and needed the heimlich.-=-
The reason Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on a spindle is that
she had never, in sixteen years, SEEN ONE. Her parents had all the
spindles destroyed (pretty stupid, medievally speaking.... they'd
need to buy all their cloth). Had they left them all there but
told her from the time they were little that they were sharp, she
wouldn't have reached out and touched one.
Once Holly said "That's cactus." Her friend reached out to touch
it. Holly said "Don't touch it!" "It's okay," the friend said, and
got teensy little spines in her finger.
If you give a kid a small part of a gummy bear and explain that it
has to be chewed or sucked or whatever, then they can handle a bigger
one. There are probably adults who would choke on a gummy if it were
new and unexpected.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
same with dresser knobs(for protection) -=-
Duct tape and foam, or what?
Putting duct tape on oven handles seems wrong and dangerous. The
glue will get gooey; will the plastic (or plastic-coated cloth) get hot?
-=-He never had gummy candy and when he had one at the zoo he choked
and needed the heimlich.-=-
The reason Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on a spindle is that
she had never, in sixteen years, SEEN ONE. Her parents had all the
spindles destroyed (pretty stupid, medievally speaking.... they'd
need to buy all their cloth). Had they left them all there but
told her from the time they were little that they were sharp, she
wouldn't have reached out and touched one.
Once Holly said "That's cactus." Her friend reached out to touch
it. Holly said "Don't touch it!" "It's okay," the friend said, and
got teensy little spines in her finger.
If you give a kid a small part of a gummy bear and explain that it
has to be chewed or sucked or whatever, then they can handle a bigger
one. There are probably adults who would choke on a gummy if it were
new and unexpected.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
-we never used the oven so i put duct tape on the handles thinking it
would cover it and give some cushion to it if he would had bumped into
it. Looking back now i see how i stopped him from learning by doing
all that stuff....how dumb!-- In [email protected],
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
would cover it and give some cushion to it if he would had bumped into
it. Looking back now i see how i stopped him from learning by doing
all that stuff....how dumb!-- In [email protected],
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-i put duct tape on the oven's metal handles,
> same with dresser knobs(for protection) -=-
>
> Duct tape and foam, or what?
>
>
>
> Putting duct tape on oven handles seems wrong and dangerous. The
> glue will get gooey; will the plastic (or plastic-coated cloth) get hot?
>
>
>
> -=-He never had gummy candy and when he had one at the zoo he choked
> and needed the heimlich.-=-
>
> The reason Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on a spindle is that
> she had never, in sixteen years, SEEN ONE. Her parents had all the
> spindles destroyed (pretty stupid, medievally speaking.... they'd
> need to buy all their cloth). Had they left them all there but
> told her from the time they were little that they were sharp, she
> wouldn't have reached out and touched one.
>
> Once Holly said "That's cactus." Her friend reached out to touch
> it. Holly said "Don't touch it!" "It's okay," the friend said, and
> got teensy little spines in her finger.
>
>
>
> If you give a kid a small part of a gummy bear and explain that it
> has to be chewed or sucked or whatever, then they can handle a bigger
> one. There are probably adults who would choke on a gummy if it were
> new and unexpected.
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
halfshadow1
yeah, he's almost 6 and a half and everytime he's out one of us is out
there with him...not hoovering just around. My husband was saying when
he was 5yo. he was all over the neighborhood, knocking on doors for a
drink of water and such. That was back in the 50's.--- In
[email protected], Shannon Foust <soldout641@...> wrote:
more freedom I give (even supervised freedom) the less the need to
sneak off, wander off, or run off. If he wants to go around the
block, go with him.
there with him...not hoovering just around. My husband was saying when
he was 5yo. he was all over the neighborhood, knocking on doors for a
drink of water and such. That was back in the 50's.--- In
[email protected], Shannon Foust <soldout641@...> wrote:
>old enough developmentally to stay in the yard. I am finding that the
> Re. going out in the yard...
>
> Depending on his age, I would go out with him until you feel he is
more freedom I give (even supervised freedom) the less the need to
sneak off, wander off, or run off. If he wants to go around the
block, go with him.
>Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.
>
>
> Shannon
> www.myspace.com/soldout641
> http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1040601130
> www.homeschoolblogger.com/soldout841
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Looking back now i see how i stopped him from learning by doing
all that stuff....how dumb!-=-
Eeek.
Please don't call people "dumb"--not even your own self!
It's a good bad habit to get out of. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
all that stuff....how dumb!-=-
Eeek.
Please don't call people "dumb"--not even your own self!
It's a good bad habit to get out of. <g>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
Okay. The propane was never hooked up to the stove. We could use it if
we wanted too. it's very hot here in Florida most of the time so we
use a electric skillet,microwave and toaster oven.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
we wanted too. it's very hot here in Florida most of the time so we
use a electric skillet,microwave and toaster oven.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Looking back now i see how i stopped him from learning by doing
> all that stuff....how dumb!-=-
>
> Eeek.
>
> Please don't call people "dumb"--not even your own self!
>
> It's a good bad habit to get out of. <g>
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Maisha Khalfani
There are many days when I feel like I am doing just that with my children -
just going through a hazy fog; going through motions. There never seems to
be enough day or night. Thanks for that snippet.
be at peace,
Maisha
Khalfani Family Adventures
EarthSpirit Journeys
"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot
accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will
experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and
self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and
never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we
reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they
are."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
-----Original Message-----
Sometimes people are acting through a fog, like through tinted glass--
layers of tinted glass. Instead of me doing something I that would
like to do for Holly, sometimes it kicks back in that I'm saying
'what would a good mom do for a kid who is acting ideally?'
Where did those cardboard cut-outs come from? Y'know, *I* need to
do something for Holly. So it's just straight between me and Holly.
Nothing, y'know--I can touch her, no gloves, no plastic, no window,
and people forget that. They almost feel like they don't have
permission to treat their child like a real one-of-a-kind individual
child, and they're treating them like they think people ought to
treat children--vague, hypothetical children. So be aware of that.
Sandra
just going through a hazy fog; going through motions. There never seems to
be enough day or night. Thanks for that snippet.
be at peace,
Maisha
Khalfani Family Adventures
EarthSpirit Journeys
"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot
accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will
experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and
self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and
never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we
reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they
are."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
-----Original Message-----
Sometimes people are acting through a fog, like through tinted glass--
layers of tinted glass. Instead of me doing something I that would
like to do for Holly, sometimes it kicks back in that I'm saying
'what would a good mom do for a kid who is acting ideally?'
Where did those cardboard cut-outs come from? Y'know, *I* need to
do something for Holly. So it's just straight between me and Holly.
Nothing, y'know--I can touch her, no gloves, no plastic, no window,
and people forget that. They almost feel like they don't have
permission to treat their child like a real one-of-a-kind individual
child, and they're treating them like they think people ought to
treat children--vague, hypothetical children. So be aware of that.
Sandra
Maisha Khalfani
Wow. So strange to be reading this today because I had a similar train of
thought yesterday--I was cleaning house and had certain things I wanted done
before people came over. There wasn't time to do it all, and I had a little
conversation
going in my head where someone was being critical (faceless someone,
certainly wasn't anyone who was coming over) and I was thinking, "Don't look
at what I *haven't* done--look at all I *have* done!" I was talking to
myself, I guess.
And then it struck me to ponder how often I might've done that to my
kids--looked more at what they hadn't done than what they had. Or times I've
done it to my husband, or my parents, or anyone. It's a good thing to be
thinking about,
so that I can be thankful, interested, and appreciative, not critical.
Lissa, mom of 5
LOL - I'm feeling like that right now. The kids' bedrooms are a mess, no
dinner is made yet. I need to get ready for work tomorrow and get two of
the kids ready for school. It's already 5:51 pm...and my mind is going and
going. Clearly I need to get back to meditating.
be at peace,
Maisha
<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/> Khalfani Family Adventures
<http://earthspiritjourneys.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Journeys
"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot
accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will
experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and
self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and
never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we
reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they
are."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thought yesterday--I was cleaning house and had certain things I wanted done
before people came over. There wasn't time to do it all, and I had a little
conversation
going in my head where someone was being critical (faceless someone,
certainly wasn't anyone who was coming over) and I was thinking, "Don't look
at what I *haven't* done--look at all I *have* done!" I was talking to
myself, I guess.
And then it struck me to ponder how often I might've done that to my
kids--looked more at what they hadn't done than what they had. Or times I've
done it to my husband, or my parents, or anyone. It's a good thing to be
thinking about,
so that I can be thankful, interested, and appreciative, not critical.
Lissa, mom of 5
LOL - I'm feeling like that right now. The kids' bedrooms are a mess, no
dinner is made yet. I need to get ready for work tomorrow and get two of
the kids ready for school. It's already 5:51 pm...and my mind is going and
going. Clearly I need to get back to meditating.
be at peace,
Maisha
<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/> Khalfani Family Adventures
<http://earthspiritjourneys.blogspot.com/> EarthSpirit Journeys
"We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot
accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will
experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and
self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and
never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we
reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they
are."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
--- In [email protected], "halfshadow1" <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
him to stay in the yard or have the understanding yet not to wander
off.
Most six year olds have the capacity to understand "stay in the yard." On a practical note,
you could gradually remove yourself if he's enjoying some time on his own. Get to the point
where you are in the house, but can observe him. And see where it goes from there.
I'm thinking that you need to get connected with your internal mommy sense--moms usually
know what their kids are likely to do. If you know your child is a "runner" (<g> I had one
when he was little), then you respond one way. If you know your child is likely to stick
around, you respond another way. You converse, you ask a few what ifs, and you trust. If
you really don't know, then maybe you have other people's fears blocking your senses. Is
your yard safe? Whether a child should have time alone outside would be dependent on
whether the environment is safe, etc. Only you have the specific answers, but at some point
you may need to take a deep breath and put more trust into your relationship.
Joanna
> we areafraid of letting him go outside alone because we feel we can't trust
him to stay in the yard or have the understanding yet not to wander
off.
Most six year olds have the capacity to understand "stay in the yard." On a practical note,
you could gradually remove yourself if he's enjoying some time on his own. Get to the point
where you are in the house, but can observe him. And see where it goes from there.
I'm thinking that you need to get connected with your internal mommy sense--moms usually
know what their kids are likely to do. If you know your child is a "runner" (<g> I had one
when he was little), then you respond one way. If you know your child is likely to stick
around, you respond another way. You converse, you ask a few what ifs, and you trust. If
you really don't know, then maybe you have other people's fears blocking your senses. Is
your yard safe? Whether a child should have time alone outside would be dependent on
whether the environment is safe, etc. Only you have the specific answers, but at some point
you may need to take a deep breath and put more trust into your relationship.
Joanna
melissa_hice
--- In [email protected], "Joanna Murphy"
<ridingmom@...> wrote:
back yard by himself, but I frequently either go out and check on him
or look out the windows at him. He is very creative and can get
himself in a pickle pretty fast! A few days ago he got on top of the
swing set and hung upside down, then couldn't get down.
I will not let him in the front yard unless I am out with him and
actively watching or playing with him. The reason: Last year the
city put in a big, deep retention pond that is just 20 feet or so
from the edge of our front yard. My son loves water and thinks he is
absolutely invincible. He actually thinks he can jump over moving
cars or could swim across the retention pond. He is a "runner" as
well. Last month when we had a little ice on the retention pond, I
could barely keep him from running down to it to go "ice skating." I
tried to explain about thin ice, but he thinks he will be okay, that
it will work. Needless to say, when we are out in the front yard, I
do not take my eyes off of him!
Melissa
<ridingmom@...> wrote:
>wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "halfshadow1" <halfshadow1@>
> > we aretrust
> afraid of letting him go outside alone because we feel we can't
> him to stay in the yard or have the understanding yet not to wanderyard." On a practical note,
> off.
>
> Most six year olds have the capacity to understand "stay in the
> you could gradually remove yourself if he's enjoying some time onhis own. Get to the point
> where you are in the house, but can observe him. And see where itgoes from there.
>mommy sense--moms usually
> I'm thinking that you need to get connected with your internal
> know what their kids are likely to do. If you know your child isa "runner" (<g> I had one
> when he was little), then you respond one way. If you know yourchild is likely to stick
> around, you respond another way.My son just turned 6. I have recently been letting him go out in the
back yard by himself, but I frequently either go out and check on him
or look out the windows at him. He is very creative and can get
himself in a pickle pretty fast! A few days ago he got on top of the
swing set and hung upside down, then couldn't get down.
I will not let him in the front yard unless I am out with him and
actively watching or playing with him. The reason: Last year the
city put in a big, deep retention pond that is just 20 feet or so
from the edge of our front yard. My son loves water and thinks he is
absolutely invincible. He actually thinks he can jump over moving
cars or could swim across the retention pond. He is a "runner" as
well. Last month when we had a little ice on the retention pond, I
could barely keep him from running down to it to go "ice skating." I
tried to explain about thin ice, but he thinks he will be okay, that
it will work. Needless to say, when we are out in the front yard, I
do not take my eyes off of him!
Melissa
j md
You are so right ,
Its just training yourself to do it!Well retraining might be the better word.We are new to this...it was only last week we really came to understand this was the lifestyle we wanted ... it will take a long while to retrain our thinging in all areas.But its this if buts and maybes that needs to go first...else how can our children be free if we are constantly worried about everything?
Luna
----- Original Message ----
From: Joanna Wilkinson <jbwilkinson6@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 31 March, 2008 4:35:39 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Fear
<<As i read what you wrote i read about the fear you felt for your
other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her
but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let
go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just
enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.>>
I'm not beating myself up about it (another time waster) but I'm
wondering how I could have been so vigilant about not letting my
fears hold my kids back as far as letting them go and do, but I lost
sight of the fact that my fears were not letting them learn in their
own way. I was holding them back in their own home! When I told
them we were going to go full on unschooling again, I asked them if
they were comfortable with that. Jack, in his oh so wise way
said, "Mom, I use to be really good at math until you started making
me do it." I told him I thought he was still amazing with the way he
thinks about numbers and works things out. He said, "I know".
I instantly made the shift once I remembered/woke up. I'm seeing
them like I saw Carly and Sam. I'm feeling really amazed by them.
It's not that I didn't appreciate them before now. It's like a veil
in my thinking was lifted and I see them without the what if's, and
it's such a better view!
Joanna
Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
www.yahoo7.com.au/y7mail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Its just training yourself to do it!Well retraining might be the better word.We are new to this...it was only last week we really came to understand this was the lifestyle we wanted ... it will take a long while to retrain our thinging in all areas.But its this if buts and maybes that needs to go first...else how can our children be free if we are constantly worried about everything?
Luna
----- Original Message ----
From: Joanna Wilkinson <jbwilkinson6@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 31 March, 2008 4:35:39 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Fear
<<As i read what you wrote i read about the fear you felt for your
other kids and i know thats what i have lived too.I didnt lose her
but i have been so scared that i might.I think its time for me to let
go of the ifs buts and what might have beens and get back to just
enjoying life and not let it waste away in fear.>>
I'm not beating myself up about it (another time waster) but I'm
wondering how I could have been so vigilant about not letting my
fears hold my kids back as far as letting them go and do, but I lost
sight of the fact that my fears were not letting them learn in their
own way. I was holding them back in their own home! When I told
them we were going to go full on unschooling again, I asked them if
they were comfortable with that. Jack, in his oh so wise way
said, "Mom, I use to be really good at math until you started making
me do it." I told him I thought he was still amazing with the way he
thinks about numbers and works things out. He said, "I know".
I instantly made the shift once I remembered/woke up. I'm seeing
them like I saw Carly and Sam. I'm feeling really amazed by them.
It's not that I didn't appreciate them before now. It's like a veil
in my thinking was lifted and I see them without the what if's, and
it's such a better view!
Joanna
Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
www.yahoo7.com.au/y7mail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<< The reason: Last year the
demonstrated the "thin ice" in a tangible way, like maybe tossing a small
rock that would then break the ice. Also if he wants to challenge himself
with big jumps perhaps he would enjoy building a jumping set up in his back
yard.
When Jayn wanted to balance on our balcony railing, that was too scary for
me (2nd storey). We always went downstairs to so she could balance on a
similar railing that was at ground level. I think she understood that it was
because *I* was nervous, rather than a lack of faith in *her*.
Perhaps he'd enjoy bmx or skateboarding. Those extreme sport folks do some
pretty amazing things.
Shouldn't the city fence something like that? I'm not sure what a "retention
pond" is, but it sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
> city put in a big, deep retention pond that is just 20 feet or soIf only there were some other games he could play that were safe yet
> from the edge of our front yard. My son loves water and thinks he is
> absolutely invincible. He actually thinks he can jump over moving
> cars or could swim across the retention pond. He is a "runner" as
> well. Last month when we had a little ice on the retention pond, I
> could barely keep him from running down to it to go "ice skating." I
> tried to explain about thin ice, but he thinks he will be okay, that
> it will work. Needless to say, when we are out in the front yard, I
> do not take my eyes off of him!>>>>
demonstrated the "thin ice" in a tangible way, like maybe tossing a small
rock that would then break the ice. Also if he wants to challenge himself
with big jumps perhaps he would enjoy building a jumping set up in his back
yard.
When Jayn wanted to balance on our balcony railing, that was too scary for
me (2nd storey). We always went downstairs to so she could balance on a
similar railing that was at ground level. I think she understood that it was
because *I* was nervous, rather than a lack of faith in *her*.
Perhaps he'd enjoy bmx or skateboarding. Those extreme sport folks do some
pretty amazing things.
Shouldn't the city fence something like that? I'm not sure what a "retention
pond" is, but it sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
One of the things I always let my kids do was to wonder around on the yard and the farm going wherever they wanted to go. I am lucky I live in a farm but I would have done it in a park too and did many times. I let them just go since they could walk ( wich was 10 and 11 months for my kids-so pretty early) and I would just follow behind as long as we could, exploring everything. I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom", "give me your hand".
I am sure personality must play a big role but I can see how it could help if they could have explored more.
_
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am sure personality must play a big role but I can see how it could help if they could have explored more.
_
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
"give me your hand".-=-
Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
hide out a while and there aren't cars.
Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
as soon as they get a moment?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
"give me your hand".-=-
Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
hide out a while and there aren't cars.
Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
as soon as they get a moment?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
-My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere we went but
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
> always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
> "give me your hand".-=-
>
> Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
> to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
> bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
> kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
> When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
> back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
> hide out a while and there aren't cars.
>
> Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> as soon as they get a moment?
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
as soon as they get a moment?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Funny you said that! My sister's oldest is the big runner, he used to just take off and look back to see if you were chasing him when he got a chance and my sister did use a kid leash on him. One time hw was out in the yard with his dad ( he was really bad with dad around) and he took off the dad slipped in the wet grass and broke his ankle so bad he had to have major surgery.
So in my observations tight leashes ( figuratively or actual) make some kids want to run.
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
as soon as they get a moment?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Funny you said that! My sister's oldest is the big runner, he used to just take off and look back to see if you were chasing him when he got a chance and my sister did use a kid leash on him. One time hw was out in the yard with his dad ( he was really bad with dad around) and he took off the dad slipped in the wet grass and broke his ankle so bad he had to have major surgery.
So in my observations tight leashes ( figuratively or actual) make some kids want to run.
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Have you tried going to a huge park ( and safe) with a friend that CAN run and letting him get his share of runnign around "byhimself" with you two just keeping an eye on him?
Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can be incharged of where you are going.
With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( no causing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
Even my dd at 26 months does not run away
Alex
halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
-My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere we went but
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can be incharged of where you are going.
With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( no causing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
Even my dd at 26 months does not run away
Alex
halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
-My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere we went but
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> -=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
> always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
> "give me your hand".-=-
>
> Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
> to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
> bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
> kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
> When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
> back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
> hide out a while and there aren't cars.
>
> Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> as soon as they get a moment?
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
he was really bad with dad around
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
sorry about my choice of words here. Let me refrase this:
He was really into running away when his dad was around
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
sorry about my choice of words here. Let me refrase this:
He was really into running away when his dad was around
Alex Polikowsky
www.polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
-Places that a child wants to run around a little,bend sown to look at
something or jump...a leash gives them more freedom than holding a
hand. -- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
got a chance and my sister did use a kid leash on him. One time hw was
out in the yard with his dad ( he was really bad with dad around) and
he took off the dad slipped in the wet grass and broke his ankle so
bad he had to have major surgery.
something or jump...a leash gives them more freedom than holding a
hand. -- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
>to just take off and look back to see if you were chasing him when he
> Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> as soon as they get a moment?
> -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>
> Funny you said that! My sister's oldest is the big runner, he used
got a chance and my sister did use a kid leash on him. One time hw was
out in the yard with his dad ( he was really bad with dad around) and
he took off the dad slipped in the wet grass and broke his ankle so
bad he had to have major surgery.
> So in my observations tight leashes ( figuratively or actual) makesome kids want to run.
>
>
>
> Alex Polikowsky
>
> www.polykow.blogspot.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
One of my friends bought a set of really good two way radios so that her boys could go exploring in the woods near where she lived and still be in touch if something went wrong or if she needed reassuring. It gave them all a lot of freedom.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message ----
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 31 March, 2008 3:56:20 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Seeing clearly (was Re: Fear
Have you tried going to a huge park ( and safe) with a friend that CAN run and letting him get his share of runnign around "byhimself" with you two just keeping an eye on him?
Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can be incharged of where you are going.
With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( no causing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
Even my dd at 26 months does not run away
Alex
halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
-My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere we went but
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
----- Original Message ----
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 31 March, 2008 3:56:20 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Seeing clearly (was Re: Fear
Have you tried going to a huge park ( and safe) with a friend that CAN run and letting him get his share of runnign around "byhimself" with you two just keeping an eye on him?
Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can be incharged of where you are going.
With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( no causing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
Even my dd at 26 months does not run away
Alex
halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
-My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere we went but
when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> -=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
> always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
> "give me your hand".-=-
>
> Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
> to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
> bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
> kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
> When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
> back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
> hide out a while and there aren't cars.
>
> Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> as soon as they get a moment?
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
He does it we me only on the road. I explain to him about cars,that
staying on the right side of the rode is safer. He does it every time
he goes somewhere with my husband. I talk alot more about stuff to our
son rather then bark orders....Dh tends to do. It's gotten so my
husband doesn't want to take him anywhere.I tell my husband if Lukas
and I are somewhere say, the park and he wants to go to look at the
pond...it's sure, lets go and he knows all about the gators and stays
a good distance from the waterline while we walk around it. I tell my
son to just ask me if he wants to see something that he doesn't have
to run off.--- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
with you two just keeping an eye on him?
bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we
did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
staying on the right side of the rode is safer. He does it every time
he goes somewhere with my husband. I talk alot more about stuff to our
son rather then bark orders....Dh tends to do. It's gotten so my
husband doesn't want to take him anywhere.I tell my husband if Lukas
and I are somewhere say, the park and he wants to go to look at the
pond...it's sure, lets go and he knows all about the gators and stays
a good distance from the waterline while we walk around it. I tell my
son to just ask me if he wants to see something that he doesn't have
to run off.--- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
>CAN run and letting him get his share of runnign around "byhimself"
> Have you tried going to a huge park ( and safe) with a friend that
with you two just keeping an eye on him?
> Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can beincharged of where you are going.
> With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( nocausing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was
bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we
did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
> Even my dd at 26 months does not run awaywe went but
> Alex
>
> halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
> -My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere
> when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
> didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
> stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
> not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
> good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
> or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
> side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
> around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
> In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@> wrote:
> >
> > -=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
> > always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
> > "give me your hand".-=-
> >
> > Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
> > to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
> > bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
> > kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
> > When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
> > back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
> > hide out a while and there aren't cars.
> >
> > Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> > as soon as they get a moment?
> >
> > Sandra
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
halfshadow1
I thought about those lately. I do feel so much more relaxed now when
we go out. I am like okay,your in the next aisle,that's cool. I am not
worried. It's a big difference then when he was smaller and much more
impulsive.--- In [email protected], ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
<s.waynforth@...> wrote:
still be in touch if something went wrong or if she needed reassuring.
It gave them all a lot of freedom.
with you two just keeping an eye on him?
bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we
did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
we go out. I am like okay,your in the next aisle,that's cool. I am not
worried. It's a big difference then when he was smaller and much more
impulsive.--- In [email protected], ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
<s.waynforth@...> wrote:
>her boys could go exploring in the woods near where she lived and
> One of my friends bought a set of really good two way radios so that
still be in touch if something went wrong or if she needed reassuring.
It gave them all a lot of freedom.
>CAN run and letting him get his share of runnign around "byhimself"
> Schuyler
> www.waynforth.blogspot.com
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Monday, 31 March, 2008 3:56:20 PM
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Seeing clearly (was Re: Fear
>
> Have you tried going to a huge park ( and safe) with a friend that
with you two just keeping an eye on him?
> Or go and ask him to be the leader on exploring so he can beincharged of where you are going.
> With both my kids we have let them run a bit in stores ( nocausing anyone or anything harm and making sure no costumer was
bothered) and we played games of running and hidding. A few times we
did that and they just got their fix and were done playing it.
> Even my dd at 26 months does not run awaywe went but
> Alex
>
> halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
> -My son drove me nuts with the running away!! Everywhere
> when i took him to the ballfield that is fenced in...but huge...he
> didn't want to run!! I used to write about it on the groups alot. He
> stills runs away from my dh in the mall or playground. I got advice to
> not have dh take him to those places. It's dangerous, Dh can't run as
> good now or fast.Lukas will still run way down the road and keep going
> or ride his scooter way ahead of one of us. He wont stay on the right
> side of the rode and i freak thinking a car is going to come real fast
> around the corner...by that time i'm yelling STOP! Wait up for me!--
> In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@> wrote:
> >
> > -=-I don;t really know if that is why neither is a runner. My sister
> > always ran after her kids, "don't go there" here or "stay with mom",
> > "give me your hand".-=-
> >
> > Probably not in every case, but in some cases it's likely a response
> > to the limitations. Of neighboring dog owners, four families do a
> > bad job, in my opinion, of having dogs. Across the cul-de-sac is a
> > kinda-scary big husky that is never played with or taken for a walk.
> > When she gets out she runs away, but increasingly she runs to our
> > back yard, because we'll talk to her and be nice to her and she can
> > hide out a while and there aren't cars.
> >
> > Do tight leashes (figuratively speaking) make little kids want to run
> > as soon as they get a moment?
> >
> > Sandra
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>