[email protected]

Hello,

I let the day unfold. Tim and I decided to plan extra activieties for Riley
and Tessa. We watched Spiderman again. It was due in at 6pm. We started it at
3:30. I helped Ashley curl her hair and wrap presents. I left my daughter and
came back hope. We ate fish sticks and peas. Riley's #1 dinner. We will go
drive around looking at lights later. My friend had a hard time lookinh me in
the eye. I spoke with her hubby and MIL instead. No tantrums so far this year
for Riley. Tessa went with me to drop Ashley off, gave the birthday girl a
flowering jade plant from our little nursery, and willing left with me. So far
it appears all the kids are getting their needs met. Thank you for listening.

Mary H.

Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

Mary,
You're an Awesome Mom!
Enjoy the rest of your day!
Heidi


> So far
>it appears all the kids are getting their needs met. Thank you for listening.

Nanci Kuykendall

>Has anyone read about the forms of girl aggression?
>My hubby told me about a book which addresses this
>issue and it turns out that girls/women are
>aggressive by excluding. If you know the author, let
>my know.
>Mary H.

I have discussed that book with others, which got so
much attention in the press, and I think that theory
is bull****. At least, as far as being exclusive to
females. Boys and men do it just as much, that power
play, shift of favor, excluding, good ol boys, bla
bla. My husband, and most men I am sure, can recount
tales of the subtle dichotomy of "picking teams" or
who eats with whom at school lunch, or even who goes
to which meetings, lunches and parties in an adult
professional world. We just discussed this recently,
so his thoughts and mine are clear in my memory.

As far as kids being excluded, well it's true that
life is sometimes unfair, but friends should not be
rude to each other. Kids' and adults should be able
to invite just who they want to their own parties,
just so long as they understand that they could be
bruising some egos, stepping on some toes, or even
losing some friends over it. It's a sticky social
problem. How many people agonize over who to invite
to weddings or holiday parites? How many people
invite family members who really are not a part of
their lives, just to avoid offending them, or invite
people for reasons OTHER than desiring their presence
(like not wanting to offend their mother-in-law by
leaving out her old friend Edna whom you find
overbearing, or whatever.)

We usually stick to family only for parties, but then
my kids don't have a very large social circle yet. So
we have largely been able to avoid these kinds of
difficult situations. My husband and I even "eloped"
when we got married, largely to avoid the complication
of a large wedding and the invitations and social
entanglements. It meant no wedding gifts, but was a
small price to pay for a lovely, romatic, stress free
wedding celebration.

Anyway, it's an ettiquette question. Sandra is right
that you should be able to invite whoever you want.
But the situation where the one boy was excluded for
no apparent real reason (other boys his age, siblings
and neighbors were invited) seems harsh. It hurts to
be excluded, no matter how old you are, particularly
when there is no real reason you were left out, aside
from that you were not wanted. But I concur with the
sentiment that life is what you make of it, and "when
life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" It's a hard
lesson for a six year old, but an important one for
him to learn to focus on the positive and that he is
responsible for his own happiness and how he views and
responds to challenges in his life.

Nanci K.

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/9/2002 7:09:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> I reminded Lexie
> that it was an adult only party and lexie said that was not fair and
> that she was good with adults and could just come for a bit. I finally
> said "Lexie, it's for lesbians only. She does this every year." Lexie
> said something about how she might be a lesbian when she grew up and she
> needed to have this experience! LOL. She didn't get to go, but let me
> tell you, Rita and I were sure thinking that if she could argue her
> point that well, she should be allowed to go!
>

Heehee...I think she should have been allowed to make an appearance! There's
a great store in Provincetown that offers a "Dyke discount." The owners
always marvel that many people aren't willing to say they're a lesbian even
to get a discount. LOL
Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/2002 6:51:19 AM Central Standard Time,
KathrynJB@... writes:

> The owners
> always marvel that many people aren't willing to say they're a lesbian even
>
> to get a discount. LOL
>

I wonder how they tell. Wonder if I could pass? ;)

Anything to get a discount! lol!

Tuck


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/02 6:50:34 AM, Tuckervill@... writes:

<< I wonder how they tell. Wonder if I could pass? ;) >>

Maybe a receipt from the right bar?
If the haircut doesn't do it, maybe a hostile t-shirt?

(My lesbian friends aren't here to slug me.)

Betsy

** There's a great store in Provincetown that offers a "Dyke discount."
The owners always marvel that many people aren't willing to say they're
a lesbian even to get a discount. LOL**

If I admit "I think Rita Mae Brown is hot" can I get half a discount?

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/02 8:31:41 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< If I admit "I think Rita Mae Brown is hot" can I get half a discount? >>

While you pretend to rummage in your bag for your Lesbian ID, you should set
out on the counter an Indigo girls tape and ticket stubs from a Melissa
Etheridge concert, or Lillith Fair. They might be afraid to know what else
you're going to set out on the counter.

That's really kind of an odd discount to offer. Then again, I never even ask
for a homeschooler's discount. I figure living in the real world means just
living in the real world, not expecting Borders or Barnes & Noble to give me
20% off on books. Now the discount at the gaming shop, THAT I don't want
to miss.

Sandra

Betsy

**Then again, I never even ask for a homeschooler's discount.**

I think the idea for homeschooler's discounts grew out of teacher's
discounts, which seem to aim to support literacy and acknowledge that
teacher's are underpaid.

Betsy

Kate Green

At 07:56 AM 12/10/02 -0800, you wrote:
>
>
> **Then again, I never even ask for a homeschooler's discount.**
>
> I think the idea for homeschooler's discounts grew out of teacher's
> discounts, which seem to aim to support literacy and acknowledge that
> teacher's are underpaid.
>

I think it's a great idea -- especially as they are underpaid AND many
teachers spend a lot of their own moeny for classroom materials.

I have no problem asking for a homeschool discount. With the number of
books we buy every little bit helps plus usually in hs families there
aren't 2 fulltime wage earners to help out.

I also like to haggle which is good living here in the UAE. Everything is
open to discussion of price. We even get discounts at the pharmacy and
dentist etc. And buying carpets -- now that's an art form:)


Kate

> Betsy
>
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>
>
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Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

> Now the discount at the gaming shop, THAT I don't want
>to miss.

HOW do you get a discount at the gaming shop?!!
Heidi

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/02 11:02:51 AM, heidi@... writes:

<< HOW do you get a discount at the gaming shop?!! >>

Each registered family that spends over $100 in a calendar year gets a five
percent discount thereafter.

But Kirby working there made it even better! The whole family (maybe because
we were registered and qualified as a group account before he was ever hired
in fall of 2000) gets his employee discount.

Sandra

Jocelyn Vilter

Regular customers at the game store that my son frequents get a 15% discount
on all purchases and 20% off on any purchase that totals over $100.00.
Pretty sweet, huh?

Jocelyn

> From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema <heidi@...>
> Reply-To: [email protected]
> Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 09:11:03 -0800
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Excluding Kids
>
>
>> Now the discount at the gaming shop, THAT I don't want
>> to miss.
>
> HOW do you get a discount at the gaming shop?!!
> Heidi
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/02 9:25:06 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> If the haircut doesn't do it, maybe a hostile t-shirt?
>
>
Like the one that says:
"Sorry I haven't been to church lately. I've been busy practicing witchcraft
and becoming a lesbian"
Most excellent.
Elissa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/02 10:31:28 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:

> If I admit "I think Rita Mae Brown is hot" can I get half a discount?
>
>

Isn't Rita Mae Brown the Medium played by Whoopie Goldberg in "Ghost"?
Elissa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy

**Isn't Rita Mae Brown the Medium played by Whoopie Goldberg in "Ghost"?**

I meant the author who I saw on Donahue many years ago. I could have
the name wrong.

Betsy