Bi-racial kids
Katie
I'm a huge huge culprit of pointing out the beauty of bi-racial
kids. They *are* cuter!!! ;) Ok I may be partial since mine are
half white and half Korean but they are cuter :). And I'm sure some
people get turned off by me, the gushing white girl. Especially in
the grocery store or sompleace when I don't have my own kids with
me.
And people tell me all the time how adorable my kids are. And I just
have to agree with them. The thought that they might be faking it or
trying to prove something to themselves didn't occure to me until I
was on a list talking to another mother with biracial children.
So what is a poor uncultured white girl to do? I've never been the
victim of out and out racial predjudice before (at least to my
knowledge) and neither have my children really. My husband has
extensivley but it's still not something I understand. I find myself
now *so* sensitive to the subtile things people say that I often
don't say anything.
I always wish I could wear a t-shirt that would explain it all. Then
I have to ask myself what am I trying to prove? Maybe I am the
obnoxious white girl who's trying to prove she's not racist to
herself. I know I have some racist hangups. I know this. I wish I
didn't.
So what is the best way? From people who have biracial families or
people who are in same sex relationships. What is the best way for
me to let you know that I think wht you're doing is great. And I
wish it wasn't such a big deal and I hope some day we won't even have
to think twice about it?
Katie
PS. Where I live biracial families in my age group are almost the
norm. At least it seems that way. And almost all of my closest
friends are in biracial marriages. (and we all have cute kids :) )
kids. They *are* cuter!!! ;) Ok I may be partial since mine are
half white and half Korean but they are cuter :). And I'm sure some
people get turned off by me, the gushing white girl. Especially in
the grocery store or sompleace when I don't have my own kids with
me.
And people tell me all the time how adorable my kids are. And I just
have to agree with them. The thought that they might be faking it or
trying to prove something to themselves didn't occure to me until I
was on a list talking to another mother with biracial children.
So what is a poor uncultured white girl to do? I've never been the
victim of out and out racial predjudice before (at least to my
knowledge) and neither have my children really. My husband has
extensivley but it's still not something I understand. I find myself
now *so* sensitive to the subtile things people say that I often
don't say anything.
I always wish I could wear a t-shirt that would explain it all. Then
I have to ask myself what am I trying to prove? Maybe I am the
obnoxious white girl who's trying to prove she's not racist to
herself. I know I have some racist hangups. I know this. I wish I
didn't.
So what is the best way? From people who have biracial families or
people who are in same sex relationships. What is the best way for
me to let you know that I think wht you're doing is great. And I
wish it wasn't such a big deal and I hope some day we won't even have
to think twice about it?
Katie
PS. Where I live biracial families in my age group are almost the
norm. At least it seems that way. And almost all of my closest
friends are in biracial marriages. (and we all have cute kids :) )
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
You think having bi-kids is cute? (well, okay, they can be pretty cute.)
Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he was,
"Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually caked in mud
or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and say,
"I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about how
some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.
Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too. But
then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a little, or
stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch on...
but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they did the
other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or looked
female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think he would
have done it if I'd asked.
We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of our
kids is gorgeous. (grin)
Heidi
Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he was,
"Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually caked in mud
or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and say,
"I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about how
some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.
Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too. But
then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a little, or
stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch on...
but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they did the
other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or looked
female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think he would
have done it if I'd asked.
We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of our
kids is gorgeous. (grin)
Heidi
Wendy
My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredible ringlets.
People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother me but lately I've
been getting incredibly rude comments about what I *need* to do with his
hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boy they come back with
comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which I respond, "He just had one."
But the other day this moron says to me, "You need to move that boy's head
closer to the clippers!" I about went ballistic. I told him he needed to
mind his own damn business. Truth be told, it wouldn't bother me if it
weren't said right in front of Skylar like he didn't exist. The child has
ears and understands exactly what they are saying.
Wendy
-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema [mailto:heidi@...]
Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 4:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids (gender-ambiguous-appearing
kids)
You think having bi-kids is cute? (well, okay, they can be pretty cute.)
Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he was,
"Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually caked in mud
or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and say,
"I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about how
some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.
Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too.
But
then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a little,
or
stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch on...
but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they did
the
other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or looked
female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think he
would
have done it if I'd asked.
We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of our
kids is gorgeous. (grin)
Heidi
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother me but lately I've
been getting incredibly rude comments about what I *need* to do with his
hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boy they come back with
comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which I respond, "He just had one."
But the other day this moron says to me, "You need to move that boy's head
closer to the clippers!" I about went ballistic. I told him he needed to
mind his own damn business. Truth be told, it wouldn't bother me if it
weren't said right in front of Skylar like he didn't exist. The child has
ears and understands exactly what they are saying.
Wendy
-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema [mailto:heidi@...]
Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 4:33 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids (gender-ambiguous-appearing
kids)
You think having bi-kids is cute? (well, okay, they can be pretty cute.)
Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he was,
"Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually caked in mud
or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and say,
"I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about how
some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.
Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too.
But
then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a little,
or
stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch on...
but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they did
the
other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or looked
female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think he
would
have done it if I'd asked.
We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of our
kids is gorgeous. (grin)
Heidi
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
We live in an area of town where almost everyone is some shade of brown, tan,
butterscotch... how ever you want to describe it. Years ago, Santa Fe built
this area up for the railroad workers. Many houses are built from old box
cars! Anyway, the people in our neighborhood are mostly Mexican American,
some White (those who are white are of Russian, German, or Swedish descent,
one area is called *Little Russia*) some Black, some Native American, mostly
a mix of everything. Our area is so diverse and beautiful, everything here is
so unlike the rest of the town where white and black people only live in this
area or that area. And everything still has a segregated feeling about it,
even though most will deny it.
My kids are fascinated with their heritage, Most of my family is Swedish,
Darin is Cherokee and Delaware. I used to have blonde hair (I dye it red) and
I have green eyes and pale skin, Darin has black hair, beautiful deep blue
*Cherokee* eyes, and creamy olive skin. My kids will probably have black hair
by the time they are older, right now Jack's is a weird shade of silvery
blonde highlights on top of light brown hair and Moly's is golden brown, they
didn't get Darin's blue eyes, they got my olive green eyes. Moly is lighter
skinned like me, but she doesn't burn, she just turns golden. Jack is darker
than Darin and in the summer his skin is just gorgeous.
I have found some wonderful books on being biracial, and diversity at our
library. There was a display up and it came at a time where the kids were
being especially curious about all the color in their lives. It has really
helped explain all the shades of people in our neighborhood. I thought I
would share some that we have read.
The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
You Be Me, I'll Be You by Pili Mandelbaum
All the Colors of the Earth by Shelia Hamanaka
Why Am I Different? by Norma Simon
Brown Like Me by Noelle Lamperti
Paul and Sebastian By Rene' Escudie' and Ulises Wensell
Enjoy!
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
butterscotch... how ever you want to describe it. Years ago, Santa Fe built
this area up for the railroad workers. Many houses are built from old box
cars! Anyway, the people in our neighborhood are mostly Mexican American,
some White (those who are white are of Russian, German, or Swedish descent,
one area is called *Little Russia*) some Black, some Native American, mostly
a mix of everything. Our area is so diverse and beautiful, everything here is
so unlike the rest of the town where white and black people only live in this
area or that area. And everything still has a segregated feeling about it,
even though most will deny it.
My kids are fascinated with their heritage, Most of my family is Swedish,
Darin is Cherokee and Delaware. I used to have blonde hair (I dye it red) and
I have green eyes and pale skin, Darin has black hair, beautiful deep blue
*Cherokee* eyes, and creamy olive skin. My kids will probably have black hair
by the time they are older, right now Jack's is a weird shade of silvery
blonde highlights on top of light brown hair and Moly's is golden brown, they
didn't get Darin's blue eyes, they got my olive green eyes. Moly is lighter
skinned like me, but she doesn't burn, she just turns golden. Jack is darker
than Darin and in the summer his skin is just gorgeous.
I have found some wonderful books on being biracial, and diversity at our
library. There was a display up and it came at a time where the kids were
being especially curious about all the color in their lives. It has really
helped explain all the shades of people in our neighborhood. I thought I
would share some that we have read.
The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
You Be Me, I'll Be You by Pili Mandelbaum
All the Colors of the Earth by Shelia Hamanaka
Why Am I Different? by Norma Simon
Brown Like Me by Noelle Lamperti
Paul and Sebastian By Rene' Escudie' and Ulises Wensell
Enjoy!
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joylyn
Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
Skylar is beautiful, and I love his hair. It was a sad day for me when
my sister cut off my nephews beautiful blond curls.
Joylyn
Wendy wrote:
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
Skylar is beautiful, and I love his hair. It was a sad day for me when
my sister cut off my nephews beautiful blond curls.
Joylyn
Wendy wrote:
> My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredible ringlets.
> People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother me but lately I've
> been getting incredibly rude comments about what I *need* to do with his
> hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boy they come back with
> comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which I respond, "He just had one."
> But the other day this moron says to me, "You need to move that boy's head
> closer to the clippers!" I about went ballistic. I told him he needed to
> mind his own damn business. Truth be told, it wouldn't bother me if it
> weren't said right in front of Skylar like he didn't exist. The child has
> ears and understands exactly what they are saying.
>
> Wendy
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema [mailto:heidi@...]
> Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 4:33 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids (gender-ambiguous-appearing
> kids)
>
>
> You think having bi-kids is cute? (well, okay, they can be pretty
> cute.)
> Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
>
> For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
> especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he was,
> "Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually caked
> in mud
> or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
> treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and
> say,
> "I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about how
> some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.
>
> Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too.
> But
> then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a little,
> or
> stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch
> on...
> but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they did
> the
> other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or looked
> female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think he
> would
> have done it if I'd asked.
>
> We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of our
> kids is gorgeous. (grin)
> Heidi
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
Shyrley
On 23 Nov 02, at 16:47, Wendy wrote:
strawberry blond hair, and Bryn has long blond hair. This is not
unusual in the HE community in the UK.
I've got fed up with the comments so now I am just rude. Bit tough
on the poeple who don't know I've had the same comments 50
times before but I am beyond caring.
You could also try making personal comments about them.
Back in my non-rude days I would ask them why it bothered them
and why they felt it was their business.
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
> My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredibleWe've had that since we moved to the US. Rhodri has long
> ringlets. People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother me but
> lately I've been getting incredibly rude comments about what I *need*
> to do with his hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boy they
> come back with comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which I respond,
> "He just had one." But the other day this moron says to me, "You need
> to move that boy's head closer to the clippers!" I about went
> ballistic. I told him he needed to mind his own damn business. Truth
> be told, it wouldn't bother me if it weren't said right in front of
> Skylar like he didn't exist. The child has ears and understands
> exactly what they are saying.
strawberry blond hair, and Bryn has long blond hair. This is not
unusual in the HE community in the UK.
I've got fed up with the comments so now I am just rude. Bit tough
on the poeple who don't know I've had the same comments 50
times before but I am beyond caring.
You could also try making personal comments about them.
Back in my non-rude days I would ask them why it bothered them
and why they felt it was their business.
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
jleaf
At 05:14 PM 11/23/2002 -0500, you wrote:
Thanks for the list!
Linda (new to AlwaysLearning)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I thought I would share some that we have read.Nancy,
>
>The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
>You Be Me, I'll Be You by Pili Mandelbaum
>All the Colors of the Earth by Shelia Hamanaka
>Why Am I Different? by Norma Simon
>Brown Like Me by Noelle Lamperti
>Paul and Sebastian By Rene' Escudie' and Ulises Wensell
Thanks for the list!
Linda (new to AlwaysLearning)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dominique Moseley
I have two biological children that are both Caucasian, and then our
third child is adopted and of Mexican and AA heritage. We sure have
heard the range of comments this past year. I have enjoyed reading this
thread considering we are still new to having a multi-racial family. The
one interesting thing I have found is that people comment on how
adorable our adopted daughter is about 10x's more then they ever did our
other 2 children. And, then always add.. "oh they're cute too"
(referring to our other 2 children)
Dominique
-----Original Message-----
From: Joylyn [mailto:joylyn@...]
Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 3:34 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids (gender-ambiguous-appearing
kids)
Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my
mother."
Joylyn
third child is adopted and of Mexican and AA heritage. We sure have
heard the range of comments this past year. I have enjoyed reading this
thread considering we are still new to having a multi-racial family. The
one interesting thing I have found is that people comment on how
adorable our adopted daughter is about 10x's more then they ever did our
other 2 children. And, then always add.. "oh they're cute too"
(referring to our other 2 children)
Dominique
-----Original Message-----
From: Joylyn [mailto:joylyn@...]
Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 3:34 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids (gender-ambiguous-appearing
kids)
Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my
mother."
Joylyn
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/23/02 3:51:26 PM Central Standard Time,
owlinden@... writes:
4 year olds beautiful head of hair just so that people who don't know him
will immediately understand his gender.
It makes me mad too. The thing is, we are mostly out together, so the group
includes my 3 year old girl who has the same ringlets of curls half way down
her back. The difference is staggeringly gender identifying...
Elizabeth
owlinden@... writes:
> My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredible ringlets.Me too, me too, me too! There is absolutely no way I'm going to chop off my
> People always assume he's a girl.
4 year olds beautiful head of hair just so that people who don't know him
will immediately understand his gender.
It makes me mad too. The thing is, we are mostly out together, so the group
includes my 3 year old girl who has the same ringlets of curls half way down
her back. The difference is staggeringly gender identifying...
Elizabeth
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/23/02 7:45:55 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
While living in Hawaii, I got the racial slurs while my sis got ignored,
because Eskimo looks enough like some of the races over there to get past the
biggots.
We ran into "but who is your REAL Mom?" a lot. To which she'd answer that Mom
WAS her real Mom thank you.
There was a LOT of ignorance too. If we told the kids that she was adopted
and Eskimo they teased us and made fun and said we were liars.
So we came up with a story that they'd buy and leave us alone with.
Our Dad was Hawaiian, our Mom was Haole (mean word for white people) and the
twins they had (us) turned out one Hawaiian and one white.
Crazy! But it worked.
We got a lot of strange looks traveling together as a family, Dad with black
hair, Mom with blonde, three Asian looking, two brunettes and one blonde
child.
Lots of staring, lots of questions and most of the time we just couldn't
figure out what the big deal was.
My biological sisters and I have such different coloring that I've been asked
if I was sure that we had the same parents.
Can you believe that? More than once, people have had the gall to ask if we
were positive that we were blood related, as though our parents had lied all
these years.
It's funny though, because everyone (our mother included) would mix us up
when talking on the phone, because we sound SO much alike.
Ren
"The answers aren't important really...
What's important, is knowing all the questions."
-Zilpha Keatley Snyder
Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
[email protected] writes:
<< Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
>>We had a lot of this problem with my adopted siblings.
While living in Hawaii, I got the racial slurs while my sis got ignored,
because Eskimo looks enough like some of the races over there to get past the
biggots.
We ran into "but who is your REAL Mom?" a lot. To which she'd answer that Mom
WAS her real Mom thank you.
There was a LOT of ignorance too. If we told the kids that she was adopted
and Eskimo they teased us and made fun and said we were liars.
So we came up with a story that they'd buy and leave us alone with.
Our Dad was Hawaiian, our Mom was Haole (mean word for white people) and the
twins they had (us) turned out one Hawaiian and one white.
Crazy! But it worked.
We got a lot of strange looks traveling together as a family, Dad with black
hair, Mom with blonde, three Asian looking, two brunettes and one blonde
child.
Lots of staring, lots of questions and most of the time we just couldn't
figure out what the big deal was.
My biological sisters and I have such different coloring that I've been asked
if I was sure that we had the same parents.
Can you believe that? More than once, people have had the gall to ask if we
were positive that we were blood related, as though our parents had lied all
these years.
It's funny though, because everyone (our mother included) would mix us up
when talking on the phone, because we sound SO much alike.
Ren
"The answers aren't important really...
What's important, is knowing all the questions."
-Zilpha Keatley Snyder
Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
At 12:04 AM 11/24/2002 -0500, you wrote:
Heidi
>My biological sisters and I have such different coloring that I've been askedWell, maybe you look like their mailman... (grin)
>if I was sure that we had the same parents.
Heidi
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
You know, I never thought to chop off his hair (it took him 18 months to
start growing any!) and he never asked. He also had a strong male role
model who had long braided hair so maybe that's why. He also doesn't like
a lot of change which probably played a role.
I took the comments about his beauty with a sense of humor (and excepting
for the gender, they were right on about the beauty!) because their
misconception led them to treat him in a much gentler, more humane way than
they would have, had they known he was male from the get-go. Lots of sweet
voices and compliments that other little boys around us weren't getting. I
think part of his gentleness today is from the caring complete strangers
showed him. Thinking he was a girl, they didn't expect him to be rough and
tough, so he never figured out that maybe his gender was supposed to be
that way. Sure, there's probably more to it than just hair, but if those
of you with lil' boys with long hair want to run an experiment, continue to
not cut his hair (provided that's okay with the child) and see if folks
treat your son more gently and considerately than they do the boys with
short hair.
(and I'd suggest letting the gender comments roll away harmlessly unless
the child is annoyed by them. After all, what's it matter if a complete
stranger knows or doesn't know your kids gender... or even your own
gender!?! Think of it as social camouflage or perceptually helping the
transgendered and intersex (hermaphrodite) community.)
Heidi
start growing any!) and he never asked. He also had a strong male role
model who had long braided hair so maybe that's why. He also doesn't like
a lot of change which probably played a role.
I took the comments about his beauty with a sense of humor (and excepting
for the gender, they were right on about the beauty!) because their
misconception led them to treat him in a much gentler, more humane way than
they would have, had they known he was male from the get-go. Lots of sweet
voices and compliments that other little boys around us weren't getting. I
think part of his gentleness today is from the caring complete strangers
showed him. Thinking he was a girl, they didn't expect him to be rough and
tough, so he never figured out that maybe his gender was supposed to be
that way. Sure, there's probably more to it than just hair, but if those
of you with lil' boys with long hair want to run an experiment, continue to
not cut his hair (provided that's okay with the child) and see if folks
treat your son more gently and considerately than they do the boys with
short hair.
(and I'd suggest letting the gender comments roll away harmlessly unless
the child is annoyed by them. After all, what's it matter if a complete
stranger knows or doesn't know your kids gender... or even your own
gender!?! Think of it as social camouflage or perceptually helping the
transgendered and intersex (hermaphrodite) community.)
Heidi
Wendy
Joylyn wrote:
Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
That is pathetic. I swear, no one thinks before letting dumb fall out of
their mouth.
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
I bet that floored them. It's bad enough when a comment comes from an
adult but more effective coming from a child.
Skylar is beautiful, and I love his hair. It was a sad day for me when
my sister cut off my nephews beautiful blond curls.
::blush:: thanks. You know I love him to pieces. His hair is just so cool,
why would I want to cut it. I know it's only hair but I know how you must
have felt.
Wendy
Wendy wrote:
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Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
"where's your mother?"
That is pathetic. I swear, no one thinks before letting dumb fall out of
their mouth.
Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
I bet that floored them. It's bad enough when a comment comes from an
adult but more effective coming from a child.
Skylar is beautiful, and I love his hair. It was a sad day for me when
my sister cut off my nephews beautiful blond curls.
::blush:: thanks. You know I love him to pieces. His hair is just so cool,
why would I want to cut it. I know it's only hair but I know how you must
have felt.
Wendy
Wendy wrote:
> My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredible ringlets.one."
> People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother me but lately I've
> been getting incredibly rude comments about what I *need* to do with his
> hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boy they come back with
> comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which I respond, "He just had
> But the other day this moron says to me, "You need to move that boy'shead
> closer to the clippers!" I about went ballistic. I told him he needed tohas
> mind his own damn business. Truth be told, it wouldn't bother me if it
> weren't said right in front of Skylar like he didn't exist. The child
> ears and understands exactly what they are saying.(gender-ambiguous-appearing
>
> Wendy
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema [mailto:heidi@...]
> Sent: Saturday, November 23, 2002 4:33 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Bi-racial kids
> kids)was,
>
>
> You think having bi-kids is cute? (well, okay, they can be pretty
> cute.)
> Try having a long haired, blonde, dutch son with freckles!
>
> For some reason, he's gorgeous (not that I'm biased) and clerks or
> especially older women would always compliment him on how pretty he
> "Isn't she a darling?" they'd say (even though he was usually cakedhow
> in mud
> or in dirty sweats and was swimming in his 6' 5"uncles'
> treasured-hand-me-down t-shirts), and my son would roll his eyes and
> say,
> "I'm a boy." When we got out of earshot, we'd giggle a little about
> some folks just can't see out of their own eyes.little,
>
> Sometimes, I'd try to cover and say, "Oh, I think *he's* gorgeous too.
> But
> then I might be biased!" Sometimes they'd catch on (and stare a
> ordid
> stammer and try to 'make up' for it), sometimes they wouldn't catch
> on...
> but they always treated him more gently and considerately than they
> thelooked
> other boys his age. Maybe because they thought he was female or
> female. I'm glad he never wanted to cut his hair although I think heour
> would
> have done it if I'd asked.
>
> We'll have to have a cute-kid-a-thon so we can all share why each of
> kids is gorgeous. (grin)Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> Heidi
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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>
>
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>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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>
>
>
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> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy
Shyrley wrote:
We've had that since we moved to the US. Rhodri has long
strawberry blond hair, and Bryn has long blond hair. This is not
unusual in the HE community in the UK.
LOL! That must be where I get it from, my British birth.
I've got fed up with the comments so now I am just rude. Bit tough
on the poeple who don't know I've had the same comments 50
times before but I am beyond caring.
You could also try making personal comments about them.
Back in my non-rude days I would ask them why it bothered them
and why they felt it was their business.
Exactly, I was less than pleasant with the man and told him how rude he was.
I just get tired of it.
Wendy
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all
the same."
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We've had that since we moved to the US. Rhodri has long
strawberry blond hair, and Bryn has long blond hair. This is not
unusual in the HE community in the UK.
LOL! That must be where I get it from, my British birth.
I've got fed up with the comments so now I am just rude. Bit tough
on the poeple who don't know I've had the same comments 50
times before but I am beyond caring.
You could also try making personal comments about them.
Back in my non-rude days I would ask them why it bothered them
and why they felt it was their business.
Exactly, I was less than pleasant with the man and told him how rude he was.
I just get tired of it.
Wendy
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all
the same."
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Joylyn
I want to respond to Kathryn's note in another way, but this reminded me
of something that happend with my then 6 year old
Last year at Halloween, a friend of mine was having a party. She wanted
any books we had on Mother Goose stories with pictures, as that was her
theme. I asked Lexie to go look for all Mother goose type books she had
and she, of course, asked why. I told her and she wanted to know if we
were invited to the party. I said that no, we were not. Well, why not,
she asked. I explained that I was sure there were many reasons and that
not everyone could be invited to every party. She reminded me that I've
told her not to discuss her birthday parties around those that were not
invited and that Rita was very rude to not only tell us about a party to
which we were not invited, but that she was asking our help in the
planning of the party by asking for books. I then said that while that
was true, I knew that Rita knew I was mature enough to handle the
situation and that I also was pretty sure that children were not
invited. I was kinda hemming and hawing. Lexie replied by telling me
that she was very mature for her age and that she could behave like an
adult. I said I was also sure that the party started very late, too
late for kids. She said she stays up late each night (she does, that is
true). I finally said that the primary reason was because the party was
for lesbians, the one night a year Rita had an all girls party. This
took the cake for Lexie. She said that she had already told me she was
going to be bisexual and that she might only be a lesbian and that she
needed to have lots of experiences with lots of different people and
what better way to learn about lesbians and bisexuals then going to a
party with them. Lexie has said for the last few years that she is
going to marry two boys and one girl to have four adults in the family
so that her kids will always have at least one dad and one mom home with
with them at any given time.
I told Rita this and I know she told her friends because we went to
their fourth of July party at the Hollywood Bowl. They buy a block of
tickets way in the back, hang Rainbow Coalition flags and USA flags,
have a huge pot luck, etc. They all teased us and said we were the
token gay couple. But everyone who met Lexie would say to us, looking
at Rita knowingly, oh this is Lexie. Rita thinks Lexie is the best kid
on earth...
joylyn
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema wrote:
of something that happend with my then 6 year old
Last year at Halloween, a friend of mine was having a party. She wanted
any books we had on Mother Goose stories with pictures, as that was her
theme. I asked Lexie to go look for all Mother goose type books she had
and she, of course, asked why. I told her and she wanted to know if we
were invited to the party. I said that no, we were not. Well, why not,
she asked. I explained that I was sure there were many reasons and that
not everyone could be invited to every party. She reminded me that I've
told her not to discuss her birthday parties around those that were not
invited and that Rita was very rude to not only tell us about a party to
which we were not invited, but that she was asking our help in the
planning of the party by asking for books. I then said that while that
was true, I knew that Rita knew I was mature enough to handle the
situation and that I also was pretty sure that children were not
invited. I was kinda hemming and hawing. Lexie replied by telling me
that she was very mature for her age and that she could behave like an
adult. I said I was also sure that the party started very late, too
late for kids. She said she stays up late each night (she does, that is
true). I finally said that the primary reason was because the party was
for lesbians, the one night a year Rita had an all girls party. This
took the cake for Lexie. She said that she had already told me she was
going to be bisexual and that she might only be a lesbian and that she
needed to have lots of experiences with lots of different people and
what better way to learn about lesbians and bisexuals then going to a
party with them. Lexie has said for the last few years that she is
going to marry two boys and one girl to have four adults in the family
so that her kids will always have at least one dad and one mom home with
with them at any given time.
I told Rita this and I know she told her friends because we went to
their fourth of July party at the Hollywood Bowl. They buy a block of
tickets way in the back, hang Rainbow Coalition flags and USA flags,
have a huge pot luck, etc. They all teased us and said we were the
token gay couple. But everyone who met Lexie would say to us, looking
at Rita knowingly, oh this is Lexie. Rita thinks Lexie is the best kid
on earth...
joylyn
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema wrote:
> ...which reminds me of something that happened with my teenage daughter.
>
> She was having a (male) homeschooling friend from another city over to
> stay
> for a few days and she was trying to plan out where he was going to
> sleep. She had intended that he would sleep in her room (she had a queen
> sized bed at the time, but she also has a cat which means her door
> needs to
> stay closed as we're allergic.) I said that I didn't know the young
> man
> well enough and that he or they both were welcome to sleep in a more
> public
> room, but not closed off in her room. After all, I'd met him for a grand
> total of maybe 20 minutes... give me a break!
>
> She was complaining to a friend over the phone about how 'awful' I was
> being and took the opportunity to argue with me again. She asked, "Well,
> you let <a female friend> sleep with me in my room, why not <the male
> friend>? I mean, what if <the female friend> is lesbian?"
>
> I said with a shrug, "I guess I'm just more comfortable with lesbian
> love."
>
> Not quite what she expected from her old mum. (grin) Blew her mind. She
> chattered about that one to her friends for a few days. (and yes, she
> knows I have lesbian friends and transgendered acquaintances, but I don't
> really stress it much and as she's never had a romantic interest come
> calling there's been little call for it.)
>
> That one made it into my mental 'parenting moments' book.
> Heidi
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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Joylyn
Joylyn wrote:
joylyn
> They all teased us and said we were theuh, I meant "token straight couple" too much multitasking here..
> token gay couple.
joylyn
Liza Sabater
Joylyn,
Tell Lexie she is not the only one.
The kids of my mother's older brother look more like her than my
brother and I ever did when living in PR. We loved them to pieces
but hated going out with them because people would talk to them and
then turn to my mom and ask if she was babysitting us.
Even though we are officially "high-yellow", my brother and I were
more like a mahogany brown when living in the island. All that
playing outdoors gave us wonderfully dark tans. Notwithstanding the
fact that my brother has my mother's smile and I look like the
spitting image of her; since she was blonder then and has agathe
color eyes, people could just not get past the color of our skins.
The reason why I believe that language is a strong marker of how we
perceive others is due to the many ways I had to deal with it growing
up. Since I grew up bilingual, English became the measure for our
Spanish's quirks. I remember asking my parents, why is it that in
English you can say "I am black" but in Spanish I never hear people
saying that?
In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black. In the
island when talking about someone black, people refer to them as
trigueño or trigueña notwithstanding the fact that the words means
"the color of wheat". Or, if they want to be poetic, they talk about
somebody's "piel canela" (cinnamon skin). In NYC the euphemism is
moreno or morena, which literally means "brunette".
So to piss people off I started to use the word negra to describe
myself. I would piss them off because people with darker skin than
mine do not hesitate to call themselves white in PR. I do not know at
what age it started but I distinctly remember answering to people: "I
am black, she's white AND she is my mother."
I did not have to add anything to add.
Flash forward to more than 20 years. Evan looks like a little Ricky
Martín. Aidan, on the other hand, is not dark AT ALL. He has light
brown hair, dark brown eyes and peachy white skin.
My favorite birracial moment was about a year ago, when I was still
nursing Aidan. It was around summer because I was massively tanned.
We were shopping at BJs and he got hungry and cranky. They were
selling lawn chairs, so I sat down to nurse him (there is like
nowhere to sit down at BJs). Boy oh boy oh boy. Earlier Mark had had
one of those, "where's your family moments" with Evan. Well, there
was no asking us now. Nursing is not so much of an issue here in NYC
and environs but a black woman nursing a white child in public is a
whole other thing. We definitely had a good laugh.
Then there are the semi-horror stories. One day, one of the kids
threw a tantrum, I can't remember where. All I know is that he kept
saying "Mommy, mommy" as in "leave me alone I am pissed at you
Mommy!" Because I have been referred to as the nanny more times I
want to count, I can't tell you how freaked out I was that day. It
was like, oh boy, now people will think that I am abducting my own
child. Which they did. If it had not been for Mark, who was in
another part of the store or whatever the place it was, I would have
had to go to the police! Can you believe that %$#@! And of course, NO
ONE APOLOGIZED.
Still, why do I love NYC? It is the by and far the biracial capital
of the world. No doubt about it!
Best,
Liza
At 3:33 PM -0800 11/23/02, Joylyn wrote:
Tell Lexie she is not the only one.
The kids of my mother's older brother look more like her than my
brother and I ever did when living in PR. We loved them to pieces
but hated going out with them because people would talk to them and
then turn to my mom and ask if she was babysitting us.
Even though we are officially "high-yellow", my brother and I were
more like a mahogany brown when living in the island. All that
playing outdoors gave us wonderfully dark tans. Notwithstanding the
fact that my brother has my mother's smile and I look like the
spitting image of her; since she was blonder then and has agathe
color eyes, people could just not get past the color of our skins.
The reason why I believe that language is a strong marker of how we
perceive others is due to the many ways I had to deal with it growing
up. Since I grew up bilingual, English became the measure for our
Spanish's quirks. I remember asking my parents, why is it that in
English you can say "I am black" but in Spanish I never hear people
saying that?
In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black. In the
island when talking about someone black, people refer to them as
trigueño or trigueña notwithstanding the fact that the words means
"the color of wheat". Or, if they want to be poetic, they talk about
somebody's "piel canela" (cinnamon skin). In NYC the euphemism is
moreno or morena, which literally means "brunette".
So to piss people off I started to use the word negra to describe
myself. I would piss them off because people with darker skin than
mine do not hesitate to call themselves white in PR. I do not know at
what age it started but I distinctly remember answering to people: "I
am black, she's white AND she is my mother."
I did not have to add anything to add.
Flash forward to more than 20 years. Evan looks like a little Ricky
Martín. Aidan, on the other hand, is not dark AT ALL. He has light
brown hair, dark brown eyes and peachy white skin.
My favorite birracial moment was about a year ago, when I was still
nursing Aidan. It was around summer because I was massively tanned.
We were shopping at BJs and he got hungry and cranky. They were
selling lawn chairs, so I sat down to nurse him (there is like
nowhere to sit down at BJs). Boy oh boy oh boy. Earlier Mark had had
one of those, "where's your family moments" with Evan. Well, there
was no asking us now. Nursing is not so much of an issue here in NYC
and environs but a black woman nursing a white child in public is a
whole other thing. We definitely had a good laugh.
Then there are the semi-horror stories. One day, one of the kids
threw a tantrum, I can't remember where. All I know is that he kept
saying "Mommy, mommy" as in "leave me alone I am pissed at you
Mommy!" Because I have been referred to as the nanny more times I
want to count, I can't tell you how freaked out I was that day. It
was like, oh boy, now people will think that I am abducting my own
child. Which they did. If it had not been for Mark, who was in
another part of the store or whatever the place it was, I would have
had to go to the police! Can you believe that %$#@! And of course, NO
ONE APOLOGIZED.
Still, why do I love NYC? It is the by and far the biracial capital
of the world. No doubt about it!
Best,
Liza
At 3:33 PM -0800 11/23/02, Joylyn wrote:
>Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
>"where's your mother?"
>
>Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
>we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my mother."
Joylyn
Liza Sabater wrote:
statement is... well, there are no words.
get older, I see more of me in them. It doesn't matter, they have my
smarts. ;-)
bilingual. He speaks white English and black English, and can go from
one to the other without a problem. Read an essay once asking if we
could consider black English a language....hmmmm
and she corrected me quite rudely. I never made that mistake again.
This was in the valley of Alb. By the river, Sandra. This was the
same class that called me a racist. The principal was called in, by the
kids (middle school). They said I liked the white kids more than I
liked the brown ones. The principal and I looked at the list of kids in
the class and pointed out there were no white kids in the class. So
they said I liked the light skinned hispanics more than the dark ones.
I asked him to let me handle it in my own way. The next day my brother
Juan happened to come by at that time period, and I introduced him. Oh
by the way class, this is my LITTLE brother. Juan stands well over 6
feet, is as wide as a fridge and is dark brown with long black hair. He
is probably half Hispanic/half pueblo but he calls himself an Indian.
When we go to pueblos or to Santa fe, people stop him and ask him if
they can take his picture. I always tell him he should charge money,
but he doesn't. He just laughs. Anyway, he shows up to give me
something, just by accident, at the same time as this class. The day
after that my boyfriend, soon to be my husband, stopped by to give me
lunch money. Just by luck, it was during that same class period.
I never heard another word about me liking the light skinned hispanics
more than the dark ones.
wetta or jueta. No one here in California has ever heard that term.
He's never been to Africa he says.
something I could do to proove she was my child. Why would I need to do
that, i can hear people asking. Well, for those folks who think I'm
just the foster mom. Read a story about a woman with black kids in the
store. The toddler got away for a minute, and was picked up by an
employee. The woman had to prove the child was hers. What way to do
that? She didn't have a picture of her child with her, the child wasn't
talking a lot yet, what's a mom to do. It was one reason, not a big
one, but one reason why I continued to nurse Lexie. Another story I
heard was a black mom who had a very pale baby. Baby went to nursery in
the hospital so mom could sleep and the nursing shift changed. New
nurse saw baby wake up and went to take baby to mother but when she saw
sleeping mom was black and baby was not, she decided there had been a
mix up. Hours later it was resolved, but meanwhile the mom wasn't
allowed to hold her baby. This was before all the banding, etc. today
but still. I kept my babies with me 100% of the time in the hospital,
just for this reason. well, for other reasons too, but for this one as
well.
I love your stories, Liza. Thank you
Joylyn
> Joylyn,I get, "how long have you had your foster kids?" The racism in that
>
> Tell Lexie she is not the only one.
>
> The kids of my mother's older brother look more like her than my
> brother and I ever did when living in PR. We loved them to pieces but
> hated going out with them because people would talk to them and then
> turn to my mom and ask if she was babysitting us.
statement is... well, there are no words.
>It's funny, as infants both girls looked like clones of mark. As they
> Even though we are officially "high-yellow", my brother and I were
> more like a mahogany brown when living in the island. All that playing
> outdoors gave us wonderfully dark tans. Notwithstanding the fact that
> my brother has my mother's smile and I look like the spitting image of
> her; since she was blonder then and has agathe color eyes, people
> could just not get past the color of our skins.
get older, I see more of me in them. It doesn't matter, they have my
smarts. ;-)
>I wish I was bilingual. I often wonder if Mark can be considered
> The reason why I believe that language is a strong marker of how we
> perceive others is due to the many ways I had to deal with it growing
> up. Since I grew up bilingual, English became the measure for our
> Spanish's quirks. I remember asking my parents, why is it that in
> English you can say "I am black" but in Spanish I never hear people
> saying that?
bilingual. He speaks white English and black English, and can go from
one to the other without a problem. Read an essay once asking if we
could consider black English a language....hmmmm
>oh man, did I find out this the hard way. I called a student Black once
> In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black
and she corrected me quite rudely. I never made that mistake again.
This was in the valley of Alb. By the river, Sandra. This was the
same class that called me a racist. The principal was called in, by the
kids (middle school). They said I liked the white kids more than I
liked the brown ones. The principal and I looked at the list of kids in
the class and pointed out there were no white kids in the class. So
they said I liked the light skinned hispanics more than the dark ones.
I asked him to let me handle it in my own way. The next day my brother
Juan happened to come by at that time period, and I introduced him. Oh
by the way class, this is my LITTLE brother. Juan stands well over 6
feet, is as wide as a fridge and is dark brown with long black hair. He
is probably half Hispanic/half pueblo but he calls himself an Indian.
When we go to pueblos or to Santa fe, people stop him and ask him if
they can take his picture. I always tell him he should charge money,
but he doesn't. He just laughs. Anyway, he shows up to give me
something, just by accident, at the same time as this class. The day
after that my boyfriend, soon to be my husband, stopped by to give me
lunch money. Just by luck, it was during that same class period.
I never heard another word about me liking the light skinned hispanics
more than the dark ones.
> . In the island when talking about someone black, people refer to themhmm, that's interesting. In new mexico a rude term for white person is
> as trigueño or trigueña notwithstanding the fact that the words means
> "the color of wheat". Or, if they want to be poetic, they talk about
> somebody's "piel canela" (cinnamon skin). In NYC the euphemism is
> moreno or morena, which literally means "brunette".
wetta or jueta. No one here in California has ever heard that term.
>Mark doesn't mind the word Negro. Or Black. He hates African American.
> So to piss people off I started to use the word negra to describe
> myself. I would piss them off because people with darker skin than
> mine do not hesitate to call themselves white in PR.
He's never been to Africa he says.
> I do not know at what age it started but I distinctly rememberOr a white woman nursing a black child. But it was good, it was
> answering to people: "I am black, she's white AND she is my mother."
>
> I did not have to add anything to add.
>
> Flash forward to more than 20 years. Evan looks like a little Ricky
> Martín. Aidan, on the other hand, is not dark AT ALL. He has light
> brown hair, dark brown eyes and peachy white skin.
>
> My favorite birracial moment was about a year ago, when I was still
> nursing Aidan. It was around summer because I was massively tanned. We
> were shopping at BJs and he got hungry and cranky. They were selling
> lawn chairs, so I sat down to nurse him (there is like nowhere to sit
> down at BJs). Boy oh boy oh boy. Earlier Mark had had one of those,
> "where's your family moments" with Evan. Well, there was no asking us
> now. Nursing is not so much of an issue here in NYC and environs but a
> black woman nursing a white child in public is a whole other thing.
something I could do to proove she was my child. Why would I need to do
that, i can hear people asking. Well, for those folks who think I'm
just the foster mom. Read a story about a woman with black kids in the
store. The toddler got away for a minute, and was picked up by an
employee. The woman had to prove the child was hers. What way to do
that? She didn't have a picture of her child with her, the child wasn't
talking a lot yet, what's a mom to do. It was one reason, not a big
one, but one reason why I continued to nurse Lexie. Another story I
heard was a black mom who had a very pale baby. Baby went to nursery in
the hospital so mom could sleep and the nursing shift changed. New
nurse saw baby wake up and went to take baby to mother but when she saw
sleeping mom was black and baby was not, she decided there had been a
mix up. Hours later it was resolved, but meanwhile the mom wasn't
allowed to hold her baby. This was before all the banding, etc. today
but still. I kept my babies with me 100% of the time in the hospital,
just for this reason. well, for other reasons too, but for this one as
well.
I love your stories, Liza. Thank you
Joylyn
> We definitely had a good laugh.
>
> Then there are the semi-horror stories. One day, one of the kids threw
> a tantrum, I can't remember where. All I know is that he kept saying
> "Mommy, mommy" as in "leave me alone I am pissed at you Mommy!"
> Because I have been referred to as the nanny more times I want to
> count, I can't tell you how freaked out I was that day. It was like,
> oh boy, now people will think that I am abducting my own child. Which
> they did. If it had not been for Mark, who was in another part of the
> store or whatever the place it was, I would have had to go to the
> police! Can you believe that %$#@! And of course, NO ONE APOLOGIZED.
>
> Still, why do I love NYC? It is the by and far the biracial capital of
> the world. No doubt about it!
>
> Best,
> Liza
>
>
>
> At 3:33 PM -0800 11/23/02, Joylyn wrote:
>
>> Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere have
>> been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people say
>> "where's your mother?"
>>
>> Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK like
>
>> we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS my
>> mother."
>
Joylyn
KathrynJB@... wrote:
troop. Statistically one or two of them will be gay. What can I do to
help them have a better time with their, oh, I'm not sure of the words
here... realization of their sexuality. Girl Scouts motto is "Where
girls grow strong." I take that seriously. I want my girls to be
strong girls, sure of themselves and their value. At least as much as I
can do as a leader.
Joylyn
> The thing is...WE ALL have these hangups. It's not really acceptable orWell said. This was one thing I was trying to say.
> common to be blatantly racist (or homophobic or whatever) these days,
> but we
> have this stuff institutionalized. It makes a difference if we're aware,
> notice our discomforts, and make a point to "walk our talk." You KNOW you
> have some racist hangups and wish you didn't? Wow, that's WONDERFUL!
> You're
> most of the way there already!
> I learned an interesting parenting thing from a good friend of mineVery clear. I think about this a lot in relationship to my girl scout
> about the
> assumptions we make.
>
> This is a straight married woman who was talking about her kids. She
> mentioned she was gently teasing her then 15 year old daughter about a
> couple
> of kids she had met over a weekend, a boy and a girl. She asked about the
> boy, "So do you LIKE him?" THEN she asked if she LIKED the girl.
>
> I was flabbergasted! ( I just love that word). She had an awareness
> that her
> daughter just might not be straight, and without even really trying,
> communicated to her that it was okay and natural, in the light teasing
> way
> that parents do with their kids sometimes. (This kid is one who was
> fine with
> her mom asking about this kind of thing.) Now, most of our kids are
> likely to
> be straight. BUT even very enlightened parents often talk to their
> kids in
> ways that would make it hard for a questioning kid to think it was okay.
> Kathleen gracefully, in a normal situation, did that (and does
> consistently.)
> Until she told me that story (and, even more amazingly, it was not to
> show
> me how enlightenened she was. She was genuinely startled when I
> complimented
> her on that aspect of it.), it hadn't occurred to me how much >I< took
> for
> granted that Julian would probably be straight. I think about the
> messages I
> give much more now.
>
> Is this as clear as mud? I'm still a little addled.
troop. Statistically one or two of them will be gay. What can I do to
help them have a better time with their, oh, I'm not sure of the words
here... realization of their sexuality. Girl Scouts motto is "Where
girls grow strong." I take that seriously. I want my girls to be
strong girls, sure of themselves and their value. At least as much as I
can do as a leader.
Joylyn
>
> Kathryn
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/24/2002 9:51:36 PM Central Standard Time,
heidi@... writes:
pregnant by a lesbian!
For some reason, that's my most looming worry when it comes to my teenagers
and their private lives.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
heidi@... writes:
> I said with a shrug, "I guess I'm just more comfortable with lesbian love."LOL. Good one! I suppose I would have pointed out that she couldn't get
>
pregnant by a lesbian!
For some reason, that's my most looming worry when it comes to my teenagers
and their private lives.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/24/02 10:51:39 PM Eastern Standard Time,
heidi@... writes:
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
heidi@... writes:
> I said with a shrug, "I guess I'm just more comfortable with lesbian love."ONe can't accidentally get pregnant!
>
>
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> >In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody blackyou mean it's not killed according to Jewish Dietary laws?
>
>
It contains unclean animal products?
This bothers me as much as someone saying, "That customer really Jewed me
down." "The mechanic at the Jiffy Lube just Nigger-rigged it back together."
But I guess EVERYONE has some sort of racist thoughts hmmm?
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nancy Wooton
on 11/25/02 6:07 AM, Earthmomma67@... at Earthmomma67@... wrote:
these days than to say "pukka." I guess that has colonial overtones which
would make *it* racist, as well as out of fashion (and easy to mis-hear as
something else!).
Most dictionaries give "kosher" a secondary meaning -- legitimate, proper,
geniuine -- while that is the primary meaning of "pukka." (And I've never
before heard "n-rigged" until this discussion; my family always said
"jerry-rigged," being native Californian, Anglo-American and no fans of
those Nazi Germans. ;-)
Nancy
--
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it is the skin of a
living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the
circumstances and the time in which it is used. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.,
poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
>>> In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody blackMaybe it's just that saying something is "kosher" is more understandable
>>
>>
>
> you mean it's not killed according to Jewish Dietary laws?
>
> It contains unclean animal products?
>
> This bothers me as much as someone saying, "That customer really Jewed me
> down." "The mechanic at the Jiffy Lube just Nigger-rigged it back together."
> But I guess EVERYONE has some sort of racist thoughts hmmm?
these days than to say "pukka." I guess that has colonial overtones which
would make *it* racist, as well as out of fashion (and easy to mis-hear as
something else!).
Most dictionaries give "kosher" a secondary meaning -- legitimate, proper,
geniuine -- while that is the primary meaning of "pukka." (And I've never
before heard "n-rigged" until this discussion; my family always said
"jerry-rigged," being native Californian, Anglo-American and no fans of
those Nazi Germans. ;-)
Nancy
--
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it is the skin of a
living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the
circumstances and the time in which it is used. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.,
poet, novelist, essayist, and physician (1809-1894)
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/24/02 11:09:42 PM, joylyn@... writes:
<< In new mexico a rude term for white person is
wetta or jueta. No one here in California has ever heard that term. >>
huera
But it's not just anyone white. It's specifically a blondie--female.
My friend Anne's relatives on one side are Mexican and live near Las Cruces
(near El Paso), and she went to a major birthday of one of the elderly
guys--her great uncle or some such. She's really blonde and blue-eyed. She
said every single one of the older women gushed "que bonita huera!" about her
at least once.
I've been watching the Lord of the Rings DVDs (the new set of four with the
extended version and HOURS and hours of background. WETA workshop,
pronounced by kiwis, sounds exactly like huera pronounced in Northern New
Mexico and it was jarring the first ten times I heard it.
I was never a huera myself, so I didn't take it personally. <g>
And I don't usually hear huera as an insult, but as just a simple descriptor.
In college I had a roommate from St. Louis who had requested a roommate from
New Mexico because she was studying Spanish and intended that as a major.
She forgot to specify "Spanish-speaking." I was nearly worthless. But I
could spot errors in her read-alouds sometimes. Not in verbs, because I
never knew with verb tenses. But in nouns and adjectives and lilt I could
sometimes help her tweak. She was very white-skinned and red-headed, and
said "quater" for quarter. Had that kind of broad "a" that only gets worse
to Chicago where it can't get any worse. It sticks out in Albuquerque,
though.
She got a boyfriend named Bernardo Martinez, from Mora. He was heavy into
the Brown Berets, in the early 70's, Chicano Power, and all that. They were
NOT happy with him for having a red-headed anglo girlfriend.
Mora's over the mountains from Espanola; in the neighborhood of Las Vegas,
NM. No truck between them at all; few people have relatives between those
places. But the type of place he had grown up wasn't at all foreign to me,
nor mine to him. His mom was a curandera. She had never been married.
They still lived in one of the adobe houses around what would have been at
one time a plaza, and then was the parking lot in front of the church. So
some people didn't like her for being a witch (as it were; not all anglo
forms of 'witch') and some thought she was great because she knew herbal
cures and midwifery.
So, back at UNM, Bernardo hung around our dorm room a lot. He was pretty
freaked out by being in Albuquerque. So was I, but Bernardo worse.
One day after we'd known each other for a few months and he was confiding in
me some of the things his radical chicano cohorts had said about Liz, the
roommate, he happened to think to ask me what my last name was.
Adams.
He looked at me funny and said "What's your mother's maiden name?"
Hathcock.
He just blanched. "You're gringa?"
I got big eyes, and said "I thought you knew that."
"No."
It was a heck of a moment. He sat there and thought some palpable, visible
thoughts.
He was basing his political and social life on some big prejudices, but he
had assumed because I had dark hair and dark eyes and was from Espanola that
I was a Trujillo or a Sanchez or something.
Within a few months I started a years long relationship with Devender Singh,
who was darker than Bernardo, but from New Jersey (and before that, Toronto,
Bombay, and Delhi).
None of that was unusual for New Mexico, and Jon Tsosie came and visited us
all every few weeks, and my former boyfriend Joseph Garcia hung around a fair
amount too that year. (Guitar players, Jon and Joseph both <g>. Dev played
tabla; my only drummer ever, but he also played guitar, just not performance
quality. He did get us back stage at the Ravi Shankar concert at Popejoy.)
We were reading Lord of the Rings in that season. Dev and I were going to
get married, have four children, and name the first boy Peregrine and call
him Pippin.
Dev called me last June. Jon Tsosie died of the effects of alcoholism at 35;
I went to his funeral, and he was buried in a blanket outside Santa Clara
church after a mass at which a Franciscan priest shamed everyone in his
family for being bad Catholics; Joseph's living in Southern California, but
we've lost contact; I keep thinking Liz or Bernardo will find me someday.
They're probably still around close. She was teaching bi-lingual classes for
Albuquerque public schools last I knew. Bernardo wanted to become a bank
robber. I used to listen carefully to every bank robbery story. <g>
Sandra
<< In new mexico a rude term for white person is
wetta or jueta. No one here in California has ever heard that term. >>
huera
But it's not just anyone white. It's specifically a blondie--female.
My friend Anne's relatives on one side are Mexican and live near Las Cruces
(near El Paso), and she went to a major birthday of one of the elderly
guys--her great uncle or some such. She's really blonde and blue-eyed. She
said every single one of the older women gushed "que bonita huera!" about her
at least once.
I've been watching the Lord of the Rings DVDs (the new set of four with the
extended version and HOURS and hours of background. WETA workshop,
pronounced by kiwis, sounds exactly like huera pronounced in Northern New
Mexico and it was jarring the first ten times I heard it.
I was never a huera myself, so I didn't take it personally. <g>
And I don't usually hear huera as an insult, but as just a simple descriptor.
In college I had a roommate from St. Louis who had requested a roommate from
New Mexico because she was studying Spanish and intended that as a major.
She forgot to specify "Spanish-speaking." I was nearly worthless. But I
could spot errors in her read-alouds sometimes. Not in verbs, because I
never knew with verb tenses. But in nouns and adjectives and lilt I could
sometimes help her tweak. She was very white-skinned and red-headed, and
said "quater" for quarter. Had that kind of broad "a" that only gets worse
to Chicago where it can't get any worse. It sticks out in Albuquerque,
though.
She got a boyfriend named Bernardo Martinez, from Mora. He was heavy into
the Brown Berets, in the early 70's, Chicano Power, and all that. They were
NOT happy with him for having a red-headed anglo girlfriend.
Mora's over the mountains from Espanola; in the neighborhood of Las Vegas,
NM. No truck between them at all; few people have relatives between those
places. But the type of place he had grown up wasn't at all foreign to me,
nor mine to him. His mom was a curandera. She had never been married.
They still lived in one of the adobe houses around what would have been at
one time a plaza, and then was the parking lot in front of the church. So
some people didn't like her for being a witch (as it were; not all anglo
forms of 'witch') and some thought she was great because she knew herbal
cures and midwifery.
So, back at UNM, Bernardo hung around our dorm room a lot. He was pretty
freaked out by being in Albuquerque. So was I, but Bernardo worse.
One day after we'd known each other for a few months and he was confiding in
me some of the things his radical chicano cohorts had said about Liz, the
roommate, he happened to think to ask me what my last name was.
Adams.
He looked at me funny and said "What's your mother's maiden name?"
Hathcock.
He just blanched. "You're gringa?"
I got big eyes, and said "I thought you knew that."
"No."
It was a heck of a moment. He sat there and thought some palpable, visible
thoughts.
He was basing his political and social life on some big prejudices, but he
had assumed because I had dark hair and dark eyes and was from Espanola that
I was a Trujillo or a Sanchez or something.
Within a few months I started a years long relationship with Devender Singh,
who was darker than Bernardo, but from New Jersey (and before that, Toronto,
Bombay, and Delhi).
None of that was unusual for New Mexico, and Jon Tsosie came and visited us
all every few weeks, and my former boyfriend Joseph Garcia hung around a fair
amount too that year. (Guitar players, Jon and Joseph both <g>. Dev played
tabla; my only drummer ever, but he also played guitar, just not performance
quality. He did get us back stage at the Ravi Shankar concert at Popejoy.)
We were reading Lord of the Rings in that season. Dev and I were going to
get married, have four children, and name the first boy Peregrine and call
him Pippin.
Dev called me last June. Jon Tsosie died of the effects of alcoholism at 35;
I went to his funeral, and he was buried in a blanket outside Santa Clara
church after a mass at which a Franciscan priest shamed everyone in his
family for being bad Catholics; Joseph's living in Southern California, but
we've lost contact; I keep thinking Liz or Bernardo will find me someday.
They're probably still around close. She was teaching bi-lingual classes for
Albuquerque public schools last I knew. Bernardo wanted to become a bank
robber. I used to listen carefully to every bank robbery story. <g>
Sandra
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
Okay, when you go out to eat or to a movie, have you ever 'gone dutch'?
That happens to be a (racist) slur against the Dutch people instigated by
the Spanish when the Dutch were economically powerful and the Spanish
wanted in on some of it. Mid 1700's I think it was, maybe earlier. Not
good with dates. The Dutch were seriously and internationally maligned,
libel'd and smeared for quite some time as penny-pinchers and dishonest
merchants - and all because they were a stronger economic power than the
Spaniards.
Does it really rankle me when people say they're 'going dutch'? Sure and
Not really. I know to most folks, it's just a phrase that doesn't even
relate to their idea of what being dutch is. They don't know the history,
for gods sake, they don't even usually know US history, much less anything
international. Besides, if it ever gets to me, I can always counter with,
"If you're not Dutch, you're not much!" (grin)
Racism isn't always about coffee or cream.
(and I'm not white, either. I'm more a wrinkly peachy color with little
dots of tan unless I get a sunburn, then I glow a deep cherry red.)
Heidi
At 09:07 AM 11/25/2002 -0500, you wrote:
That happens to be a (racist) slur against the Dutch people instigated by
the Spanish when the Dutch were economically powerful and the Spanish
wanted in on some of it. Mid 1700's I think it was, maybe earlier. Not
good with dates. The Dutch were seriously and internationally maligned,
libel'd and smeared for quite some time as penny-pinchers and dishonest
merchants - and all because they were a stronger economic power than the
Spaniards.
Does it really rankle me when people say they're 'going dutch'? Sure and
Not really. I know to most folks, it's just a phrase that doesn't even
relate to their idea of what being dutch is. They don't know the history,
for gods sake, they don't even usually know US history, much less anything
international. Besides, if it ever gets to me, I can always counter with,
"If you're not Dutch, you're not much!" (grin)
Racism isn't always about coffee or cream.
(and I'm not white, either. I'm more a wrinkly peachy color with little
dots of tan unless I get a sunburn, then I glow a deep cherry red.)
Heidi
At 09:07 AM 11/25/2002 -0500, you wrote:
> > >In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black
>you mean it's not killed according to Jewish Dietary laws?
>But I guess EVERYONE has some sort of racist thoughts hmmm?
Liza Sabater
Elissa,
Here is definitely an example of one of those language things but,
given that both Jewish and gentile New Yorkers use it all the time,
you would be hard pressed to compare it to "nigger rigging". It is
actually a very NYC thing to say and it became even more popular
after the Seinfeld show.
EVERYBODY uses it here in New York. And I mean everybody.
Best,
Liza
At 9:07 AM -0500 11/25/02, Earthmomma67@... wrote:
Here is definitely an example of one of those language things but,
given that both Jewish and gentile New Yorkers use it all the time,
you would be hard pressed to compare it to "nigger rigging". It is
actually a very NYC thing to say and it became even more popular
after the Seinfeld show.
EVERYBODY uses it here in New York. And I mean everybody.
Best,
Liza
At 9:07 AM -0500 11/25/02, Earthmomma67@... wrote:
> > >In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>
>>
>
>you mean it's not killed according to Jewish Dietary laws?
>
>It contains unclean animal products?
>
>This bothers me as much as someone saying, "That customer really Jewed me
>down." "The mechanic at the Jiffy Lube just Nigger-rigged it back together."
>But I guess EVERYONE has some sort of racist thoughts hmmm?
>Elissa
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/25/02 2:38:53 PM, liza@... writes:
<< Here is definitely an example of one of those language things but,
given that both Jewish and gentile New Yorkers use it all the time,
you would be hard pressed to compare it to "nigger rigging". >>
This was in reference to "going dutch" as in each paying for his own meal,
right?
Here I've heard "jury rigged" (never jerry rigged, although I've seen that in
writing) for something kinda slapped together with wire and duct tape. And
if the hot and cold water are reversed, I've heard that referred to as "a
Mexican job." It's about being in a hurry and not caring, or working without
building inspections. But Hispanics in New Mexico aren't referred to as
Mexicans. People from Mexico are.
Sandra
<< Here is definitely an example of one of those language things but,
given that both Jewish and gentile New Yorkers use it all the time,
you would be hard pressed to compare it to "nigger rigging". >>
This was in reference to "going dutch" as in each paying for his own meal,
right?
Here I've heard "jury rigged" (never jerry rigged, although I've seen that in
writing) for something kinda slapped together with wire and duct tape. And
if the hot and cold water are reversed, I've heard that referred to as "a
Mexican job." It's about being in a hurry and not caring, or working without
building inspections. But Hispanics in New Mexico aren't referred to as
Mexicans. People from Mexico are.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/25/02 5:11:29 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
(not kosher, the other one)
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> <<Here is definitely an example of one of those language things but,Why? Haven't you ever heard Black people use the word?
> given that both Jewish and gentile New Yorkers use it all the time,
> you would be hard pressed to compare it to "nigger rigging". >>
>
>
(not kosher, the other one)
Elissa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
amyanda2000
--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., "Shyrley" <shyrley.williams@v...> wrote:
the clippers. I think you got the part of your brain that controls
manners!"
Amanda
> On 23 Nov 02, at 16:47, Wendy wrote:me but
>
> > My son Skylar is blond, blue eyed and has the most incredible
> > ringlets. People always assume he's a girl. That doesn't bother
> > lately I've been getting incredibly rude comments about what I*need*
> > to do with his hair. If he or I correct them and say he's a boythey
> > come back with comments like, "He needs a haircut" to which Irespond,
> > "He just had one." But the other day this moron says to me, "Youneed
> > to move that boy's head closer to the clippers!" I about wentTruth
> > ballistic. I told him he needed to mind his own damn business.
> > be told, it wouldn't bother me if it weren't said right in frontof
> > Skylar like he didn't exist. The child has ears and understandsLOL, like "You need to move your head a little farther *away* from
> > exactly what they are saying.
>
>
> We've had that since we moved to the US. Rhodri has long
> strawberry blond hair, and Bryn has long blond hair. This is not
> unusual in the HE community in the UK.
> I've got fed up with the comments so now I am just rude. Bit tough
> on the poeple who don't know I've had the same comments 50
> times before but I am beyond caring.
> You could also try making personal comments about them.
the clippers. I think you got the part of your brain that controls
manners!"
Amanda
>are all the same."
> Back in my non-rude days I would ask them why it bothered them
> and why they felt it was their business.
>
> Shyrley
>
>
> "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you
amyanda2000
--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., Liza Sabater <liza@c...> wrote:
here on the south side. I wouldn't even blink to see a bi-racial
family. If I saw two woman on the bus of different race with a child
sitting between them (and I have) I would never asume the one
who "matched" was the mother. :-) of course thats just me, but its
pretty well blended here. To see two people of the same race together
(as in a couple) is more out of the ordinary! I love it, diversity
is beautiful. On the other hand Detroit is one of the most segregated
citys in the country but I've heard that they are working on that. I
don't know what it is, but whenever I see an interracial couple
(sometimes I dont' even notice, but when I do--) it makes me smile.
Amanda
> Joylyn,growing
>
> Tell Lexie she is not the only one.
>
> The kids of my mother's older brother look more like her than my
> brother and I ever did when living in PR. We loved them to pieces
> but hated going out with them because people would talk to them and
> then turn to my mom and ask if she was babysitting us.
>
> Even though we are officially "high-yellow", my brother and I were
> more like a mahogany brown when living in the island. All that
> playing outdoors gave us wonderfully dark tans. Notwithstanding the
> fact that my brother has my mother's smile and I look like the
> spitting image of her; since she was blonder then and has agathe
> color eyes, people could just not get past the color of our skins.
>
> The reason why I believe that language is a strong marker of how we
> perceive others is due to the many ways I had to deal with it
> up. Since I grew up bilingual, English became the measure for ourthe
> Spanish's quirks. I remember asking my parents, why is it that in
> English you can say "I am black" but in Spanish I never hear people
> saying that?
>
> In Puerto Rico it is really not kosher to call somebody black. In
> island when talking about someone black, people refer to them asabout
> trigueño or trigueña notwithstanding the fact that the words means
> "the color of wheat". Or, if they want to be poetic, they talk
> somebody's "piel canela" (cinnamon skin). In NYC the euphemism isat
> moreno or morena, which literally means "brunette".
>
> So to piss people off I started to use the word negra to describe
> myself. I would piss them off because people with darker skin than
> mine do not hesitate to call themselves white in PR. I do not know
> what age it started but I distinctly remember answering topeople: "I
> am black, she's white AND she is my mother."had
>
> I did not have to add anything to add.
>
> Flash forward to more than 20 years. Evan looks like a little Ricky
> Martín. Aidan, on the other hand, is not dark AT ALL. He has light
> brown hair, dark brown eyes and peachy white skin.
>
> My favorite birracial moment was about a year ago, when I was still
> nursing Aidan. It was around summer because I was massively tanned.
> We were shopping at BJs and he got hungry and cranky. They were
> selling lawn chairs, so I sat down to nurse him (there is like
> nowhere to sit down at BJs). Boy oh boy oh boy. Earlier Mark had
> one of those, "where's your family moments" with Evan. Well, thereNYC
> was no asking us now. Nursing is not so much of an issue here in
> and environs but a black woman nursing a white child in public is ahave
> whole other thing. We definitely had a good laugh.
>
> Then there are the semi-horror stories. One day, one of the kids
> threw a tantrum, I can't remember where. All I know is that he kept
> saying "Mommy, mommy" as in "leave me alone I am pissed at you
> Mommy!" Because I have been referred to as the nanny more times I
> want to count, I can't tell you how freaked out I was that day. It
> was like, oh boy, now people will think that I am abducting my own
> child. Which they did. If it had not been for Mark, who was in
> another part of the store or whatever the place it was, I would
> had to go to the police! Can you believe that %$#@! And of course,NO
> ONE APOLOGIZED.have
>
> Still, why do I love NYC? It is the by and far the biracial capital
> of the world. No doubt about it!
>
> Best,
> Liza
>
>
>
> At 3:33 PM -0800 11/23/02, Joylyn wrote:
> >Yep, that is what bothers me to about things people say. THere
> >been times I have been standing right next to Lexie and people saylike
> >"where's your mother?"
> >
> >Lexie, for a while, was saying things like "I know it doesn't LOOK
> >we are related because our skin is dfferent colors, but she IS mymother."
>Lansing Michigan, were I live is very bi-racial as well. At least
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
here on the south side. I wouldn't even blink to see a bi-racial
family. If I saw two woman on the bus of different race with a child
sitting between them (and I have) I would never asume the one
who "matched" was the mother. :-) of course thats just me, but its
pretty well blended here. To see two people of the same race together
(as in a couple) is more out of the ordinary! I love it, diversity
is beautiful. On the other hand Detroit is one of the most segregated
citys in the country but I've heard that they are working on that. I
don't know what it is, but whenever I see an interracial couple
(sometimes I dont' even notice, but when I do--) it makes me smile.
Amanda