Tiring children
[email protected]
Hello,
Shirley, this whole topic about your daughter has brought lots of thoughts to
my mind. My oldest, 8 now, has an ability to take all of my energy. She has a
cup which no matter how much I fill with love, still always seems empty to
her. I can spend all day and night with her engaged and she still needs more.
I have 2 other kids, 6 and 3 now who I feel for because Ashley needs so much.
I too have wondered is there something else going on. So far I feel she is
thriving and I have not gone to any specialists. She has her deal about
clothing. Only inside out satin these days. Only 1 pair of sandals. She has
had these traits off and on her whole life. She wears a bathing suit for
underclothes and sleeps naked. She is obsessed to me with how clothes feel.
She finds problems not solutions. I'm learning not to react. Sandra showed me
how to continue loving her. I hold this 75 lb baby and sing her songs I did in
the sling. I even brought her sling out and wrap her in it. I tell her about
her baby self and have made memory pages for her for her own books. She can be
very unlovable during a clothing tantrum. She yells alot too, over simple
things. Big frustrations.
The other night I had all three asleep after a day at the beach. Ashley woke
and was very needy. I was very needy too. After 1 1/2 hours driving I wanted
time to be with myself and hubby. I was feeling icky having a tantrumy kid
when I expected 3 kids asleep and time with Tim. I asked Tim to join us and we
both sat with Ashley. Her feet were not right, too dry she said. So there we
were, all three of us, Ashley with her feet in a bucket of water at 10pm.
Something Tim said got her mood switched and we had a few giggles and instead
of whimpering Ashley waking the babies, she went off to sleep alone. I also
got to have Tim with me while dealing with an unpleasant childen. Very
supportive and I'm going to try this same angle again.
I so get tired of parenting alone waiting to be with Tim. I have had to pull
him in, let him know I like being with him with the kids. Still romantic, like
a date in public. The loving feelings can flow. He connects with the child and
with me. I can not believe how easy we get into 1 parent with the children, 1
parent getting time to do chores, personal stuff.
On the side, Ashley got her ears pierced yesterday. Thank you all from her
because now her mom listens instead of controls mostly.
Mary H.
Shirley, this whole topic about your daughter has brought lots of thoughts to
my mind. My oldest, 8 now, has an ability to take all of my energy. She has a
cup which no matter how much I fill with love, still always seems empty to
her. I can spend all day and night with her engaged and she still needs more.
I have 2 other kids, 6 and 3 now who I feel for because Ashley needs so much.
I too have wondered is there something else going on. So far I feel she is
thriving and I have not gone to any specialists. She has her deal about
clothing. Only inside out satin these days. Only 1 pair of sandals. She has
had these traits off and on her whole life. She wears a bathing suit for
underclothes and sleeps naked. She is obsessed to me with how clothes feel.
She finds problems not solutions. I'm learning not to react. Sandra showed me
how to continue loving her. I hold this 75 lb baby and sing her songs I did in
the sling. I even brought her sling out and wrap her in it. I tell her about
her baby self and have made memory pages for her for her own books. She can be
very unlovable during a clothing tantrum. She yells alot too, over simple
things. Big frustrations.
The other night I had all three asleep after a day at the beach. Ashley woke
and was very needy. I was very needy too. After 1 1/2 hours driving I wanted
time to be with myself and hubby. I was feeling icky having a tantrumy kid
when I expected 3 kids asleep and time with Tim. I asked Tim to join us and we
both sat with Ashley. Her feet were not right, too dry she said. So there we
were, all three of us, Ashley with her feet in a bucket of water at 10pm.
Something Tim said got her mood switched and we had a few giggles and instead
of whimpering Ashley waking the babies, she went off to sleep alone. I also
got to have Tim with me while dealing with an unpleasant childen. Very
supportive and I'm going to try this same angle again.
I so get tired of parenting alone waiting to be with Tim. I have had to pull
him in, let him know I like being with him with the kids. Still romantic, like
a date in public. The loving feelings can flow. He connects with the child and
with me. I can not believe how easy we get into 1 parent with the children, 1
parent getting time to do chores, personal stuff.
On the side, Ashley got her ears pierced yesterday. Thank you all from her
because now her mom listens instead of controls mostly.
Mary H.
Betsy
** I asked Tim to join us and we
both sat with Ashley. Her feet were not right, too dry she said. So
there we were, all three of us, Ashley with her feet in a bucket of
water at 10pm.**
I'm not dealing with the same spread of complaints, but I do get the
foot thing. Sometimes my son needs a cold wash cloth wiped across his
feet at bedtime.
It seems to work "better" if I get it for him, rather than him fetching
it and wetting it himself.
Betsy
both sat with Ashley. Her feet were not right, too dry she said. So
there we were, all three of us, Ashley with her feet in a bucket of
water at 10pm.**
I'm not dealing with the same spread of complaints, but I do get the
foot thing. Sometimes my son needs a cold wash cloth wiped across his
feet at bedtime.
It seems to work "better" if I get it for him, rather than him fetching
it and wetting it himself.
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/02 11:12:41 AM, maryfhickman@... writes:
<< On the side, Ashley got her ears pierced yesterday. >>
Ooh, I'm interested in this. My sensitive child wants to get his ear pierced
and I'm concerned that he will hate the feeling. How's she doing?
Paula
<< On the side, Ashley got her ears pierced yesterday. >>
Ooh, I'm interested in this. My sensitive child wants to get his ear pierced
and I'm concerned that he will hate the feeling. How's she doing?
Paula
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/02 10:12:52 AM, maryfhickman@... writes:
<< Sandra showed me
how to continue loving her. I hold this 75 lb baby and sing her songs I did in
the sling. I even brought her sling out and wrap her in it. I tell her about
her baby self and have made memory pages for her for her own books. She can be
very unlovable during a clothing tantrum. >>
Holly has clothes-stuff, but usually just taking out all the tags does it.
Sometimes we have to go into the seam to get the last bits of tag out and I
re-close the seams.
I take the tags out of my clothes, too, but Holly's more sensitive than I am.
Holly had her ears pierced but they never did really stabilize. She did wear
a lot of earrings for a while, and loved doing it, but they were nearly
always partly infected. Mine do the same. I've about given up entirely
since my husband doesn't like pierced ears anyway.
It's not fun to feel your clothes on you everywhere and know right where
there's a little sticker, or too stiff, or needed more fabric softener, or
whatever. And I suppose for kids who feel all those things as threat or pain
must have a hard time thinking of much else.
Sandra
<< Sandra showed me
how to continue loving her. I hold this 75 lb baby and sing her songs I did in
the sling. I even brought her sling out and wrap her in it. I tell her about
her baby self and have made memory pages for her for her own books. She can be
very unlovable during a clothing tantrum. >>
Holly has clothes-stuff, but usually just taking out all the tags does it.
Sometimes we have to go into the seam to get the last bits of tag out and I
re-close the seams.
I take the tags out of my clothes, too, but Holly's more sensitive than I am.
Holly had her ears pierced but they never did really stabilize. She did wear
a lot of earrings for a while, and loved doing it, but they were nearly
always partly infected. Mine do the same. I've about given up entirely
since my husband doesn't like pierced ears anyway.
It's not fun to feel your clothes on you everywhere and know right where
there's a little sticker, or too stiff, or needed more fabric softener, or
whatever. And I suppose for kids who feel all those things as threat or pain
must have a hard time thinking of much else.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/02 2:02:37 PM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
the seams in his socks, the fly in some underwear. Only Hanna Andersson will
do for this kid, in terms of pjs and undies. He's never sleep otherwise.
And as we get almost all their other clothes from consignment sales at local
schools (see, I support the parent teacher councils!), we can justify the
expense.
Skin sensitivities are torture for a child. We've found a natural soap with
no perfumes, fabric softener with no scent, aveeno oatmeal baths, perfume
free cleaners for the rest of the house, etc. It's helped immensely, but we
still have our issues.
We also snuggle every night and sing the songs they heard as babies. Have
you read the relevant pages from The Spirited Child? Parts of that book
really helped me. Mostly, though I had to surrender to our differences and
embrace him for the child he is. What I mean is that my son hasn't changed
much in terms of his sensitivities and needs, but I have altered my attitude.
Elizabeth
SandraDodd@... writes:
> It's not fun to feel your clothes on you everywhere and know right whereI have a son like this too! All cotton, all the time. He can feel elastic,
> there's a little sticker, or too stiff, or needed more fabric softener, or
> whatever. And I suppose for kids who feel all those things as threat or
> pain
> must have a hard time thinking of much else.
>
the seams in his socks, the fly in some underwear. Only Hanna Andersson will
do for this kid, in terms of pjs and undies. He's never sleep otherwise.
And as we get almost all their other clothes from consignment sales at local
schools (see, I support the parent teacher councils!), we can justify the
expense.
Skin sensitivities are torture for a child. We've found a natural soap with
no perfumes, fabric softener with no scent, aveeno oatmeal baths, perfume
free cleaners for the rest of the house, etc. It's helped immensely, but we
still have our issues.
We also snuggle every night and sing the songs they heard as babies. Have
you read the relevant pages from The Spirited Child? Parts of that book
really helped me. Mostly, though I had to surrender to our differences and
embrace him for the child he is. What I mean is that my son hasn't changed
much in terms of his sensitivities and needs, but I have altered my attitude.
Elizabeth
Jocelyn Vilter
I had this problem for years and years. I gave up wearing earrings for
several years, but then got the bug to try again. I started cleaning my
earrings with Bactine every day. I think I finally got them to heal, and
they don't hurt any more.
jocelyn
several years, but then got the bug to try again. I started cleaning my
earrings with Bactine every day. I think I finally got them to heal, and
they don't hurt any more.
jocelyn
> From: SandraDodd@...
> Reply-To: [email protected]
> Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2002 14:23:16 EST
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Tiring children
>
> Holly had her ears pierced but they never did really stabilize. She did wear
> a lot of earrings for a while, and loved doing it, but they were nearly
> always partly infected. Mine do the same. I've about given up entirely
> since my husband doesn't like pierced ears anyway.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/13/2002 1:17:05 PM Central Standard Time, sjogy@...
writes:
thought he would never do something like that, because he's, well, sensitive.
But he volunteered to be the first victim for a friend of his who had just
gotten a job at Claire's at the mall. He said he didn't like it, but he
survived. He has since stopped wearing the earring, because the hole got
infected, and so closed up as well.
There's a loud clicking noise and a little pain that doesn't last very long.
Then my ear got a little hot. Also, it's kind of nerve-wracking because most
folks are very protective of others touching their ears. I know Will would
never like the part about the person's hand next to his ear, and the noise
the piercing gun makes. He did walk around for a while with a ring-like part
of a necklace pinched onto his earlobe, which surprised me. (Surprised his
grandmother, too, since it looked real!)
I'd say take him in and let him watch someone else, first.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Ooh, I'm interested in this. My sensitive child wants to get his ear piercedMy sensitive child got his ear pierced this summer. He's 18, though. ;) I
>
> and I'm concerned that he will hate the feeling. How's she doing?
>
> Paula
>
thought he would never do something like that, because he's, well, sensitive.
But he volunteered to be the first victim for a friend of his who had just
gotten a job at Claire's at the mall. He said he didn't like it, but he
survived. He has since stopped wearing the earring, because the hole got
infected, and so closed up as well.
There's a loud clicking noise and a little pain that doesn't last very long.
Then my ear got a little hot. Also, it's kind of nerve-wracking because most
folks are very protective of others touching their ears. I know Will would
never like the part about the person's hand next to his ear, and the noise
the piercing gun makes. He did walk around for a while with a ring-like part
of a necklace pinched onto his earlobe, which surprised me. (Surprised his
grandmother, too, since it looked real!)
I'd say take him in and let him watch someone else, first.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/14/02 9:46:10 AM, Tuckervill@... writes:
<< I'd say take him in and let him watch someone else, first. >>
Yup, good idea.
Thanks,
Paula
<< I'd say take him in and let him watch someone else, first. >>
Yup, good idea.
Thanks,
Paula