The scared daughter one...
Katrina Gutleben
Haven't dealt with this myself yet. But DH and I do have to be creative with 'our time' since he works graveyards. So for what it's worth...
Could you try going to bed with her early for a while? Get her body back on an easier (for her) time schedule? And wait until the weekend (or whenever DH is off) for some sex. Then do it in the afternoon, when your dd feels safe enough to not have you in the room (or ship the kids off to a friends for fun for a few hours). She's 10 would think she's old enough to understand that you and dh need time alone together. I don't know how old your other children are. My 4 yo is even begining to understand the concept. And we decided it really wasn't the end of the world if the kids know we have sex.
Maybe if she was getting better sleep she would be less scared. Being tired has a tendency to magnify feelings. If she were better rested she might relax and consequently feel better about going to sleep.
I also second the idea that she needs to be loved and babied for a while. Remind Dh that he is trying to manipulate you too. :) Let him know how much you do miss him but that you want things back to normal and in order for that to happen you might need to give a little more of yourself to your daughter for a while.
Would dh be willing to lay down with your dd for a while. Daddy's tend to be pretty good and warding off vampires and such. Then you could get your time alone and your dh could come find you for some 'quality time' after your dd is asleep.
Just some thoughts maybe...
KatieGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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Could you try going to bed with her early for a while? Get her body back on an easier (for her) time schedule? And wait until the weekend (or whenever DH is off) for some sex. Then do it in the afternoon, when your dd feels safe enough to not have you in the room (or ship the kids off to a friends for fun for a few hours). She's 10 would think she's old enough to understand that you and dh need time alone together. I don't know how old your other children are. My 4 yo is even begining to understand the concept. And we decided it really wasn't the end of the world if the kids know we have sex.
Maybe if she was getting better sleep she would be less scared. Being tired has a tendency to magnify feelings. If she were better rested she might relax and consequently feel better about going to sleep.
I also second the idea that she needs to be loved and babied for a while. Remind Dh that he is trying to manipulate you too. :) Let him know how much you do miss him but that you want things back to normal and in order for that to happen you might need to give a little more of yourself to your daughter for a while.
Would dh be willing to lay down with your dd for a while. Daddy's tend to be pretty good and warding off vampires and such. Then you could get your time alone and your dh could come find you for some 'quality time' after your dd is asleep.
Just some thoughts maybe...
KatieGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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In a message dated 11/11/02 8:40:11 PM, katguts@... writes:
<< I also second the idea that she needs to be loved and babied for a while.
Remind Dh that he is trying to manipulate you too. :) >>
Oooooooh...
Good one. I hadn't thought of that.
I was watching Crimson Tide Monday because a friend was over who'd never seen
it. There's a scene I had never considered in this way before (I always
learn something about a movie when I see it again no matter how many times
I've seen it, either because I missed seeing or hearing something, or because
of changes in me that make the movie seem richer.
Anyway... near the climax of all the action, Hunter calls Weps (that would
be Denzel Washington calling Viggo Mortensen, in visual terms...) who is a
personal friend of his, wives and kids are friends and all too), and says:
"Don't do this, you have to make up your OWN mind, don't let the captain
influence you, don't let ANYONE else tell you what to do, you have to do this
yourself, I'm serious, don't do it." That's not the real speech exactly,
and it's longer, but it is the most pressuring, desperate plea for him NOT to
launch the missiles, and it says in words "make your own decision."
Sandra
<< I also second the idea that she needs to be loved and babied for a while.
Remind Dh that he is trying to manipulate you too. :) >>
Oooooooh...
Good one. I hadn't thought of that.
I was watching Crimson Tide Monday because a friend was over who'd never seen
it. There's a scene I had never considered in this way before (I always
learn something about a movie when I see it again no matter how many times
I've seen it, either because I missed seeing or hearing something, or because
of changes in me that make the movie seem richer.
Anyway... near the climax of all the action, Hunter calls Weps (that would
be Denzel Washington calling Viggo Mortensen, in visual terms...) who is a
personal friend of his, wives and kids are friends and all too), and says:
"Don't do this, you have to make up your OWN mind, don't let the captain
influence you, don't let ANYONE else tell you what to do, you have to do this
yourself, I'm serious, don't do it." That's not the real speech exactly,
and it's longer, but it is the most pressuring, desperate plea for him NOT to
launch the missiles, and it says in words "make your own decision."
Sandra