[AlwaysLearning] Video Game Advice
Nanci Kuykendall
Help!
My almost 6 year old, Thomas, has discovered, through
friends, family, various mediums, and asking questions
of us, there are such things as home video game
machines and is lusting after one of his own. He
looks at ad flyers and selects the games that he wants
(usually based on his favorite movies, as he is a big
movie buff). He has an older friend with a gameboy,
and the pupils in my son's eyes have been replaced
with tiny gameboys.
We have two quandrys. One is that we are not certain
a child this young can handle the responsibility of
his own system and his own games, when he still leaves
toys out in the rain and his room looks like a tornado
hit it. What ages have others introduced game systems
into the house and how did that go? I don't want to
have to police his game system because he abuses it,
particularly as his one year younger brother would
probably own half the system as well, or is it a bad
idea for them to share a system?
Secondly, if we do choose to get him a system some
time in the near future (I mean it breaks my heart to
watch him "plug" the antennae of his little remote
control car into his toy plane, and select a matchbox
car from a pile to insert into the plane as a game
cartridge, and pretend to play a game "MOMMY! I got
Level 48 and 7 points!") What systems are best? Which
ones have the best games, are easy to operate and will
grow with our boys?
Some help and or advice here would be great, as I have
zero experience with these systems and the two video
or arcade style games I like are tetris and pinball.
Nanci K.
My almost 6 year old, Thomas, has discovered, through
friends, family, various mediums, and asking questions
of us, there are such things as home video game
machines and is lusting after one of his own. He
looks at ad flyers and selects the games that he wants
(usually based on his favorite movies, as he is a big
movie buff). He has an older friend with a gameboy,
and the pupils in my son's eyes have been replaced
with tiny gameboys.
We have two quandrys. One is that we are not certain
a child this young can handle the responsibility of
his own system and his own games, when he still leaves
toys out in the rain and his room looks like a tornado
hit it. What ages have others introduced game systems
into the house and how did that go? I don't want to
have to police his game system because he abuses it,
particularly as his one year younger brother would
probably own half the system as well, or is it a bad
idea for them to share a system?
Secondly, if we do choose to get him a system some
time in the near future (I mean it breaks my heart to
watch him "plug" the antennae of his little remote
control car into his toy plane, and select a matchbox
car from a pile to insert into the plane as a game
cartridge, and pretend to play a game "MOMMY! I got
Level 48 and 7 points!") What systems are best? Which
ones have the best games, are easy to operate and will
grow with our boys?
Some help and or advice here would be great, as I have
zero experience with these systems and the two video
or arcade style games I like are tetris and pinball.
Nanci K.
Pam Hartley
My oldest discovered video games at 7.5, my youngest was 4.5 and went right
along with her.
We gave them our old black and white Gameboys, and then they "graduated"
rapidly to our old original Nintendo NES. My sister gave us her Nintendo 64
over the summer when she upgraded. For Christmas we're getting them Gameboy
Advanced systems (they're handheld, so we'll get one for each).
They're both better about putting up games than they were even a few months
ago, but we have our systems in the living room, which gets picked up by my
husband or I every night. The cartridges are relatively sturdy -- they won't
be destroyed by being accidentally kicked under a table, etc.
Pam
----------
along with her.
We gave them our old black and white Gameboys, and then they "graduated"
rapidly to our old original Nintendo NES. My sister gave us her Nintendo 64
over the summer when she upgraded. For Christmas we're getting them Gameboy
Advanced systems (they're handheld, so we'll get one for each).
They're both better about putting up games than they were even a few months
ago, but we have our systems in the living room, which gets picked up by my
husband or I every night. The cartridges are relatively sturdy -- they won't
be destroyed by being accidentally kicked under a table, etc.
Pam
----------
>From: Nanci Kuykendall <aisliin@...>
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Video Game Advice
>Date: Thu, Nov 7, 2002, 8:56 PM
>
> Help!
>
> My almost 6 year old, Thomas, has discovered, through
> friends, family, various mediums, and asking questions
> of us, there are such things as home video game
> machines and is lusting after one of his own. He
> looks at ad flyers and selects the games that he wants
> (usually based on his favorite movies, as he is a big
> movie buff). He has an older friend with a gameboy,
> and the pupils in my son's eyes have been replaced
> with tiny gameboys.
>
> We have two quandrys. One is that we are not certain
> a child this young can handle the responsibility of
> his own system and his own games, when he still leaves
> toys out in the rain and his room looks like a tornado
> hit it. What ages have others introduced game systems
> into the house and how did that go? I don't want to
> have to police his game system because he abuses it,
> particularly as his one year younger brother would
> probably own half the system as well, or is it a bad
> idea for them to share a system?
>
> Secondly, if we do choose to get him a system some
> time in the near future (I mean it breaks my heart to
> watch him "plug" the antennae of his little remote
> control car into his toy plane, and select a matchbox
> car from a pile to insert into the plane as a game
> cartridge, and pretend to play a game "MOMMY! I got
> Level 48 and 7 points!") What systems are best? Which
> ones have the best games, are easy to operate and will
> grow with our boys?
>
> Some help and or advice here would be great, as I have
> zero experience with these systems and the two video
> or arcade style games I like are tetris and pinball.
>
> Nanci K.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/7/02 9:57:31 PM, aisliin@... writes:
<< What ages have others introduced game systems
into the house and how did that go?>>
Kirby was five. Marty was three.
<< I don't want to
have to police his game system because he abuses it,
particularly as his one year younger brother would
probably own half the system as well, or is it a bad
idea for them to share a system? >>
YOU own it and take care of it. I think that's a better solution. treat it
like a television, and treat the games like you treat the family's DVDs and
videos. Keep them in the living room or wherever the TV is, get a good box
or case for the games, BUY PLAYERS GUIDES!!!! maybe put plastic covers on
them, and YOU take care of them!
Since they're young, I would go with Nintendo. I'd get a Nintendo 64 for
them (Holly concurs) which you can probably buy used and also you can get
LOTS of used games which will be good for kids.
The controllers are $30 each new and plan on having to replace one or two.
When you first buy it, get two controllers so they can do two-player games.
Holly says there aren't that many little kids games for the Nintendo Game
Cube (their current system). AND WORSE: the game cube games need a memory
card--not so easy to operate for a six year old and EASY to lose.
Nintendo 64!!!
and please read my page about video games if you haven' already <g>
http://sandradodd.com/games/page
Sandra
Sandra
Sandra
<< What ages have others introduced game systems
into the house and how did that go?>>
Kirby was five. Marty was three.
<< I don't want to
have to police his game system because he abuses it,
particularly as his one year younger brother would
probably own half the system as well, or is it a bad
idea for them to share a system? >>
YOU own it and take care of it. I think that's a better solution. treat it
like a television, and treat the games like you treat the family's DVDs and
videos. Keep them in the living room or wherever the TV is, get a good box
or case for the games, BUY PLAYERS GUIDES!!!! maybe put plastic covers on
them, and YOU take care of them!
Since they're young, I would go with Nintendo. I'd get a Nintendo 64 for
them (Holly concurs) which you can probably buy used and also you can get
LOTS of used games which will be good for kids.
The controllers are $30 each new and plan on having to replace one or two.
When you first buy it, get two controllers so they can do two-player games.
Holly says there aren't that many little kids games for the Nintendo Game
Cube (their current system). AND WORSE: the game cube games need a memory
card--not so easy to operate for a six year old and EASY to lose.
Nintendo 64!!!
and please read my page about video games if you haven' already <g>
http://sandradodd.com/games/page
Sandra
Sandra
Sandra
C. G. Bratton
Nanci,
Our boys started with Gameboys, then they got nintendo 64 and now they
play Gamecube. I was reluctant at first but we've had some surprising
outcomes. One, the two cooperate much more on things. They want to do
better on the games and this means they must share information. Our 8
year old is a much better reader than the 6 year old. The older boy
reads the strategy guide to the younger one. THey also learned a lot
about map reading from these guides as they take the player through each
room in the game and provide an overall map of the level. These guides
have been a godsend for reading in our house. Reading is a big goal of
ours and anything that supports that is ok by me....well almost
everything.
WHile I hate the addictive quality, I am pleased with my younger sons
increased interest and hard work to read and sound out words. It is
also a great motivator for work and chores. When they obsess too much
on the game, we take it away for a few days. We also allow them to earn
more time by doing extra projects. They start with half our each and
earn more time with more work. If they get to where they are yelling
and fighting over it, they get about 2 minutes to find a solution or the
whole thing goes off. It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet.
It's also nice to have something to keep them occupied when I'm not
feeling well. I know where they are and what they are doing.
Catherine
Our boys started with Gameboys, then they got nintendo 64 and now they
play Gamecube. I was reluctant at first but we've had some surprising
outcomes. One, the two cooperate much more on things. They want to do
better on the games and this means they must share information. Our 8
year old is a much better reader than the 6 year old. The older boy
reads the strategy guide to the younger one. THey also learned a lot
about map reading from these guides as they take the player through each
room in the game and provide an overall map of the level. These guides
have been a godsend for reading in our house. Reading is a big goal of
ours and anything that supports that is ok by me....well almost
everything.
WHile I hate the addictive quality, I am pleased with my younger sons
increased interest and hard work to read and sound out words. It is
also a great motivator for work and chores. When they obsess too much
on the game, we take it away for a few days. We also allow them to earn
more time by doing extra projects. They start with half our each and
earn more time with more work. If they get to where they are yelling
and fighting over it, they get about 2 minutes to find a solution or the
whole thing goes off. It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet.
It's also nice to have something to keep them occupied when I'm not
feeling well. I know where they are and what they are doing.
Catherine
> Some help and or advice here would be great, as I have[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> zero experience with these systems and the two video
> or arcade style games I like are tetris and pinball.
>
> Nanci K.
>
C. G. Bratton
You can get used systems on ebay and at Gamestop or Funcoland. THis can
save big $$$. I got controllers for $15.00. I paid around $70.00 for a
used Nintendo 64 and 4 controllers on ebay. It works fine. I bought
more games at half.com.
Catherine
save big $$$. I got controllers for $15.00. I paid around $70.00 for a
used Nintendo 64 and 4 controllers on ebay. It works fine. I bought
more games at half.com.
Catherine
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> The controllers are $30 each new and plan on having to replace one or
> two.
>
> When you first buy it, get two controllers so they can do two-player
> games.
>
[email protected]
Please consider for the future:
<< It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet. >>
Many families find more lasting joy by not causing it to become "the
beloved" by limiting it.
Our very peaceful method has been that generally whoever has the computer, or
a game, can play until he's finished. Sometimes that is five minutes.
Sometimes it is three hours. But the next person plays when that person is
finished. And the person plays as long as he wants to.
Exceptions come: Kirby needs to check e-mail before work. Marty promised to
help someone with a certain level, and the other kid is in another time zone
and is needing to go to sleep soon...
Games don't go by half hours and hours as television programs do. There are
only certain saving points, and to turn a game off by the clock would be like
lifting a book out of a person's hands as they were in mid sentence.
Sandra
<< It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet. >>
Many families find more lasting joy by not causing it to become "the
beloved" by limiting it.
Our very peaceful method has been that generally whoever has the computer, or
a game, can play until he's finished. Sometimes that is five minutes.
Sometimes it is three hours. But the next person plays when that person is
finished. And the person plays as long as he wants to.
Exceptions come: Kirby needs to check e-mail before work. Marty promised to
help someone with a certain level, and the other kid is in another time zone
and is needing to go to sleep soon...
Games don't go by half hours and hours as television programs do. There are
only certain saving points, and to turn a game off by the clock would be like
lifting a book out of a person's hands as they were in mid sentence.
Sandra
Joylyn
well said sandra. Also, our playstation use goes in spurts. Weeks and
weeks can go by with no usage and then Lexie will play it almost
constantly for hours and hours, days and days. It's really good for her
fine motor skills, and she has fun so...
We do need another computer though, she has discovered the internet. So
now there are three users and one computer. Not a good number. I need
to get a job.
joylyn
SandraDodd@... wrote:
weeks can go by with no usage and then Lexie will play it almost
constantly for hours and hours, days and days. It's really good for her
fine motor skills, and she has fun so...
We do need another computer though, she has discovered the internet. So
now there are three users and one computer. Not a good number. I need
to get a job.
joylyn
SandraDodd@... wrote:
> Please consider for the future:
>
> << It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
> when "beloved" is headed for the closet. >>
>
> Many families find more lasting joy by not causing it to become "the
> beloved" by limiting it.
>
> Our very peaceful method has been that generally whoever has the
> computer, or
> a game, can play until he's finished. Sometimes that is five minutes.
> Sometimes it is three hours. But the next person plays when that
> person is
> finished. And the person plays as long as he wants to.
>
> Exceptions come: Kirby needs to check e-mail before work. Marty
> promised to
> help someone with a certain level, and the other kid is in another
> time zone
> and is needing to go to sleep soon...
>
> Games don't go by half hours and hours as television programs do.
> There are
> only certain saving points, and to turn a game off by the clock would
> be like
> lifting a book out of a person's hands as they were in mid sentence.
>
> Sandra
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
Cristina Kenski
Hi Nanci,
Our son started at 4yrs old with Playstation with that lovable Spyro the
Dragon game. ( I love that game) the other Spyro game are very good as well.
oh, and Crash Team Racing (multi-player) is great too.
He is 8 now & we have Playstation 2 for Ace Combat 04 (another awesome
game - we spent months on that, went to the Air Force Museum a few times,
read books on planes, watched Discovery Wings Channel everyday, sometimes
all day and *I swear it was all my sons doing* he found planes (any planes)
so interesting). and of course the Star Wars games.
We also have the X- Box (has a built in memory chip) for HALO (multi-player)
(ultimate awesome, kill the alien baddies, game) & Morrowind (first game I
played that lets you decide how you want the story line to go) LOVE IT!
(kinda, sorta, like EQ, a bit Nanci, kinda) ooh, OBI WAN is good too. We
weren't crazy about Spiderman though - jeez the Training took forever. Ooh,
Arctic Thunder is good too. (and multi-player)
The first Playstation console games can be played on Playstation 2. We
rented a lot of games & bought the ones we really like. You can also rent
the different systems (that is what we did for the X-box, didn't like the
Game Cube)
We don't put a time limit on how long he can play. just our way ;)
Catherine made the point that when she isn't feeling well, she knows where
her children are and what they are doing. (I hear you on that, it helped a
lot when I had the flu)
And Joylyn said that "weeks & weeks can go by with no usage" that has
happened here too.
Just rent first.
hope this helped a bit Nanci
See you on EQ!
Cris
Our son started at 4yrs old with Playstation with that lovable Spyro the
Dragon game. ( I love that game) the other Spyro game are very good as well.
oh, and Crash Team Racing (multi-player) is great too.
He is 8 now & we have Playstation 2 for Ace Combat 04 (another awesome
game - we spent months on that, went to the Air Force Museum a few times,
read books on planes, watched Discovery Wings Channel everyday, sometimes
all day and *I swear it was all my sons doing* he found planes (any planes)
so interesting). and of course the Star Wars games.
We also have the X- Box (has a built in memory chip) for HALO (multi-player)
(ultimate awesome, kill the alien baddies, game) & Morrowind (first game I
played that lets you decide how you want the story line to go) LOVE IT!
(kinda, sorta, like EQ, a bit Nanci, kinda) ooh, OBI WAN is good too. We
weren't crazy about Spiderman though - jeez the Training took forever. Ooh,
Arctic Thunder is good too. (and multi-player)
The first Playstation console games can be played on Playstation 2. We
rented a lot of games & bought the ones we really like. You can also rent
the different systems (that is what we did for the X-box, didn't like the
Game Cube)
We don't put a time limit on how long he can play. just our way ;)
Catherine made the point that when she isn't feeling well, she knows where
her children are and what they are doing. (I hear you on that, it helped a
lot when I had the flu)
And Joylyn said that "weeks & weeks can go by with no usage" that has
happened here too.
Just rent first.
hope this helped a bit Nanci
See you on EQ!
Cris
Dan Vilter
on 11/7/02 8:56 PM, Nanci Kuykendall at aisliin@... wrote:
screen.
the world in 1989. A good friend had one that she used to pass the odd bits
of time when she was traveling on business. So I one to Jocelyn for
Christmas that year. I had it engraved with "Homer" just like Homer did when
he gave Marge a bowling ball. I really was giving it to Jocelyn (and me), I
wasn't thinking of Matthew at the time. The Gameboy was hers not Matthews,
and later when he was I'm guessing about 2 and took an interest in it, he
seemed to take better care of it than a lot of his stuff because he knew it
belonged to his mother.
strategy he uses?
There are hundreds of sites out there that discuss the pros and cons of the
various systems. If it were me, Like Sandra said, I would go with a Nintendo
64. There are lots of games written for it that appeal to kids your son's
age. Buying it and the games used is far less expensive than the current
models and they are in plentiful supply. So for the same money as a new
system and one game - you can get a very good system and many, many games
and I would bet that the older kids in your support group have games,
experience, and advice to share with you and your son on that gamming
platform.
both Jocelyn and me so interested in it. She just got the Gamecube version
as a birthday gift from her boys.
I agree that you should read Sandra's page if you haven't yet.
http://sandradodd.com/games/page
What a fun adventure to be starting on.
-Dan Vilter
> He has an older friend with a gameboy,That would be sooo cool. The older I get the harder it is to see that little
> and the pupils in my son's eyes have been replaced
> with tiny gameboys.
screen.
> What ages have others introduced game systemsWe introduced them very early, Matthew and the Gameboy were introduced to
> into the house and how did that go? I don't want to
> have to police his game system because he abuses it,
the world in 1989. A good friend had one that she used to pass the odd bits
of time when she was traveling on business. So I one to Jocelyn for
Christmas that year. I had it engraved with "Homer" just like Homer did when
he gave Marge a bowling ball. I really was giving it to Jocelyn (and me), I
wasn't thinking of Matthew at the time. The Gameboy was hers not Matthews,
and later when he was I'm guessing about 2 and took an interest in it, he
seemed to take better care of it than a lot of his stuff because he knew it
belonged to his mother.
> Secondly, if we do choose to get him a system someWhat great fantasy! Do you ever ask him how these games are played and what
> time in the near future (I mean it breaks my heart to
> watch him "plug" the antennae of his little remote
> control car into his toy plane, and select a matchbox
> car from a pile to insert into the plane as a game
> cartridge, and pretend to play a game "MOMMY! I got
> Level 48 and 7 points!") What systems are best? Which
> ones have the best games, are easy to operate and will
> grow with our boys?
strategy he uses?
There are hundreds of sites out there that discuss the pros and cons of the
various systems. If it were me, Like Sandra said, I would go with a Nintendo
64. There are lots of games written for it that appeal to kids your son's
age. Buying it and the games used is far less expensive than the current
models and they are in plentiful supply. So for the same money as a new
system and one game - you can get a very good system and many, many games
and I would bet that the older kids in your support group have games,
experience, and advice to share with you and your son on that gamming
platform.
> Some help and or advice here would be great, as I haveTetris was the game that was included with the original Gameboy and what got
> zero experience with these systems and the two video
> or arcade style games I like are tetris and pinball.
both Jocelyn and me so interested in it. She just got the Gamecube version
as a birthday gift from her boys.
I agree that you should read Sandra's page if you haven't yet.
http://sandradodd.com/games/page
What a fun adventure to be starting on.
-Dan Vilter
Deborah Lewis
Nanci,
I agree with Sandra that it would be best if you start with the plan you
will be the responsible party to keep track of games and put them away
etc. Your kids will get there but it's hard at first to remember and
you'll save yourself a lot of frustration if you don't expect more from
them than they're ready for.
My son got his Playstation just before he turned seven. He was very
responsible but that's his nature. He started with games like Spyro and
Croc and really in the beginning played for long hours, learning every
tiny detail and mastering the controller. It was an amazing thing to
watch. And like all things children find their own balance once the
need to figure out everything has been fulfilled. My son's Playstation
use is like anything else. When there's a new game he plays until he's
got an active picture of it in his mind and until he's had some success.
It's the same way I read or do a puzzle, working at it for hours one
or two days and then in bits or pieces others.
Please, please, resist the idea to freak out when the game is new and
they want to play a lot.<g> I don't agree with the other poster that
this is addictive or that a deep interest is obsessive. I think a deep
interest is the sign of an intelligent child, who will find a way to
accomplish the goals of the game. I think this is really healthy and
necessary and I hope you can think about their experiences with a game
system the way you would an artists need to paint or a poets need to
write. It's a real need and it's normal, and there will be times of
higher interest and times of less interest.
During times of high interest, like the first month or two, you might
have to take food to your kids. <g> Really, the games are so fun that
it's hard to leave them at first to go do less important things, like
eat. This is another point where parents go nuts and decide their kids
are addicted, because they don't want to come to the dinner table.
Remain calm!<g> Take them food, keep them happy. This too shall
pass.
Dylan would get wildly frustrated at some of his games when he couldn't
achieve some goal. It is my experience that it's best to sympathize at
such times and let them work through it in their own way. We listened to
a lot of growling and some stomping but I think it's really important for
them to be able to progress in a natural way. This is the other place
where some parents go berserk and take the game away,<g> and I would
really, really NOT do that. Think how you would respond if they were
frustrated with trying to read a book. You wouldn't demand they leave
it alone, or take it away, you'd offer sympathy and you'd let them work
it out. It's just a little noisier with a game system.<g> As time
goes on it gets easier for them to stay calm because they have a lot of
experience that tells them they'll get it eventually.
I wouldn't live without some kind of game system or other, they are that
wonderful. Dylan has learned so much and gotten so much pleasure out of
it.
Deb L
I agree with Sandra that it would be best if you start with the plan you
will be the responsible party to keep track of games and put them away
etc. Your kids will get there but it's hard at first to remember and
you'll save yourself a lot of frustration if you don't expect more from
them than they're ready for.
My son got his Playstation just before he turned seven. He was very
responsible but that's his nature. He started with games like Spyro and
Croc and really in the beginning played for long hours, learning every
tiny detail and mastering the controller. It was an amazing thing to
watch. And like all things children find their own balance once the
need to figure out everything has been fulfilled. My son's Playstation
use is like anything else. When there's a new game he plays until he's
got an active picture of it in his mind and until he's had some success.
It's the same way I read or do a puzzle, working at it for hours one
or two days and then in bits or pieces others.
Please, please, resist the idea to freak out when the game is new and
they want to play a lot.<g> I don't agree with the other poster that
this is addictive or that a deep interest is obsessive. I think a deep
interest is the sign of an intelligent child, who will find a way to
accomplish the goals of the game. I think this is really healthy and
necessary and I hope you can think about their experiences with a game
system the way you would an artists need to paint or a poets need to
write. It's a real need and it's normal, and there will be times of
higher interest and times of less interest.
During times of high interest, like the first month or two, you might
have to take food to your kids. <g> Really, the games are so fun that
it's hard to leave them at first to go do less important things, like
eat. This is another point where parents go nuts and decide their kids
are addicted, because they don't want to come to the dinner table.
Remain calm!<g> Take them food, keep them happy. This too shall
pass.
Dylan would get wildly frustrated at some of his games when he couldn't
achieve some goal. It is my experience that it's best to sympathize at
such times and let them work through it in their own way. We listened to
a lot of growling and some stomping but I think it's really important for
them to be able to progress in a natural way. This is the other place
where some parents go berserk and take the game away,<g> and I would
really, really NOT do that. Think how you would respond if they were
frustrated with trying to read a book. You wouldn't demand they leave
it alone, or take it away, you'd offer sympathy and you'd let them work
it out. It's just a little noisier with a game system.<g> As time
goes on it gets easier for them to stay calm because they have a lot of
experience that tells them they'll get it eventually.
I wouldn't live without some kind of game system or other, they are that
wonderful. Dylan has learned so much and gotten so much pleasure out of
it.
Deb L
Deborah Lewis
***When they obsess too much
on the game, we take it away for a few days. We also allow them to earn
more time by doing extra projects. They start with half our each and
earn more time with more work. If they get to where they are yelling
and fighting over it, they get about 2 minutes to find a solution or the
whole thing goes off. It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet.***
I look at these game systems the way I view my own hobbies and interests
and those of my husband.
Some times, when he is working on a project in his little shop he can
stay at it for hours, stay out there most of the night, until he's come
to a natural stopping point. When he's fly fishing, there can be no
time limit, it's a thing that needs exactly the amount of time and
attention as he will give it.
When I am painting or writing poetry I can go for hours and hours, not
eating, just doing, until the session comes to a natural end.
I would no more take away my husbands shop or fly rod than he would take
away my paints or paper.
That seems like a totally unhealthy and inappropriate response to a
natural human need.
I don't make my husband earn his time fly fishing and I don't take his
time away if he's grumpy.
I want to point out what is obvious to unschoolers, that kids learn at
their own pace and in their own time. They learn to talk this way and
walk and read and count money. I think we need to remember that kids
will learn about their own schedules and limits and game system abilities
the same way. It doesn't come all at once or because we say so, it
comes by them being able to do it until they understand. Understanding
doesn't come in half hour increments on our schedule, it has to be on
theirs, in whatever amount of time they need.
I can't imagine any parent who would forbid a toddler to walk if the
toddler became frustrated. I can't imaging any parent who would give a
toddler only a half hour a day to try to learn to walk.
Apply this to anything else, learning to talk, learning to get dressed or
ride a bike or catch a ball... It can't and shouldn't be controlled by
anyone but the learner.
Deb L
on the game, we take it away for a few days. We also allow them to earn
more time by doing extra projects. They start with half our each and
earn more time with more work. If they get to where they are yelling
and fighting over it, they get about 2 minutes to find a solution or the
whole thing goes off. It is amazing how fast problems can be solved
when "beloved" is headed for the closet.***
I look at these game systems the way I view my own hobbies and interests
and those of my husband.
Some times, when he is working on a project in his little shop he can
stay at it for hours, stay out there most of the night, until he's come
to a natural stopping point. When he's fly fishing, there can be no
time limit, it's a thing that needs exactly the amount of time and
attention as he will give it.
When I am painting or writing poetry I can go for hours and hours, not
eating, just doing, until the session comes to a natural end.
I would no more take away my husbands shop or fly rod than he would take
away my paints or paper.
That seems like a totally unhealthy and inappropriate response to a
natural human need.
I don't make my husband earn his time fly fishing and I don't take his
time away if he's grumpy.
I want to point out what is obvious to unschoolers, that kids learn at
their own pace and in their own time. They learn to talk this way and
walk and read and count money. I think we need to remember that kids
will learn about their own schedules and limits and game system abilities
the same way. It doesn't come all at once or because we say so, it
comes by them being able to do it until they understand. Understanding
doesn't come in half hour increments on our schedule, it has to be on
theirs, in whatever amount of time they need.
I can't imagine any parent who would forbid a toddler to walk if the
toddler became frustrated. I can't imaging any parent who would give a
toddler only a half hour a day to try to learn to walk.
Apply this to anything else, learning to talk, learning to get dressed or
ride a bike or catch a ball... It can't and shouldn't be controlled by
anyone but the learner.
Deb L
C. G. Bratton
I think every family will find the solution that works best for them.
always allowed to save before it goes off.
Catherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>It is awesome that this process works for you.
>
> Our very peaceful method has been that generally whoever has the
> computer, or
> a game, can play until he's finished. Sometimes that is five minutes.
>
> Sometimes it is three hours. But the next person plays when that
> person is
> finished. And the person plays as long as he wants to.
>
>These games can be saved more often than you think and our guys are
>
>
> There are only certain saving points, and to turn a game off by the
> clock would be like
> lifting a book out of a person's hands as they were in mid sentence.
>
always allowed to save before it goes off.
Catherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
C. G. Bratton
I find that my older son gets so wrapped up in this that he yells at
people who enter the room. He slams doors. He rants and paces. For
him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself. You are all so
fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has been
constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year. Some
kids are fine on their own, others need other things.
people who enter the room. He slams doors. He rants and paces. For
him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself. You are all so
fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has been
constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year. Some
kids are fine on their own, others need other things.
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> Please, please, resist the idea to freak out when the game is new and
> they want to play a lot.<g> I don't agree with the other poster that
> this is addictive or that a deep interest is obsessive.
>
Pam Hartley
The problem may well be the external moderating. When someone is
controlling your behavior for you, there's less need to learn self-control.
Pam
----------
controlling your behavior for you, there's less need to learn self-control.
Pam
----------
>From: "C. G. Bratton" <brattonc@...>
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Video Game Advice
>Date: Fri, Nov 8, 2002, 12:20 PM
>
> I find that my older son gets so wrapped up in this that he yells at
> people who enter the room. He slams doors. He rants and paces. For
> him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself. You are all so
> fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has been
> constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year. Some
> kids are fine on their own, others need other things.
>
>
>
>>
>>
>> Please, please, resist the idea to freak out when the game is new and
>> they want to play a lot.<g> I don't agree with the other poster that
>> this is addictive or that a deep interest is obsessive.
>>
C. G. Bratton
When he yells, slams, and paces for hours while playing at whoever
passes by, I think letting him know that he needs to calm down is ok.
Catherine
Pam Hartley wrote:
passes by, I think letting him know that he needs to calm down is ok.
Catherine
Pam Hartley wrote:
> The problem may well be the external moderating. When someone is[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> controlling your behavior for you, there's less need to learn
> self-control.
>
> Pam
>
> ----------
> >From: "C. G. Bratton" <brattonc@...>
> >To: [email protected]
> >Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Video Game Advice
> >Date: Fri, Nov 8, 2002, 12:20 PM
> >
>
> > I find that my older son gets so wrapped up in this that he yells at
>
> > people who enter the room. He slams doors. He rants and paces.
> For
> > him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself. You are all
> so
> > fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has
> been
> > constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year.
> Some
> > kids are fine on their own, others need other things.
> >
> >
> >
> >>
> >>
> >> Please, please, resist the idea to freak out when the game is new
> and
> >> they want to play a lot.<g> I don't agree with the other poster
> that
> >> this is addictive or that a deep interest is obsessive.
> >>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 1:16:32 PM, brattonc@... writes:
<< These games can be saved more often than you think ...>>
My kids have gameboys, NES, SNES, Super Nintendo, Game Cube, Playstation and
PlaystationII.
Some of the games are not always right near a saving point, or you have to go
back a whole level.
When I say "save" I mean they save all the progress they've made.
Sandra
<< These games can be saved more often than you think ...>>
My kids have gameboys, NES, SNES, Super Nintendo, Game Cube, Playstation and
PlaystationII.
Some of the games are not always right near a saving point, or you have to go
back a whole level.
When I say "save" I mean they save all the progress they've made.
Sandra
[email protected]
This one might seem harsh, but we're not trying to hurt anyone's feelings
here, we're trying to share what has worked well so that other people's
children's lives can be more peaceful.
Honest.
In a message dated 11/8/02 1:22:06 PM, brattonc@... writes:
<<You are all so
fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has been
constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year. Some
kids are fine on their own, others need other things>>
I'm not fortunate. I let them play out their desire.
Your situation has been constant because you make time limits.
If you let a kid eat two Halloween candies every night, he will eat it all.
If you let him eat all he wants, he'll likely throw a bunch away, or eat
some and let the rest sit.
Same with video games.
<< For him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself.>>
External controls are external controls.
Sandra
here, we're trying to share what has worked well so that other people's
children's lives can be more peaceful.
Honest.
In a message dated 11/8/02 1:22:06 PM, brattonc@... writes:
<<You are all so
fortunate that is comes in phases at your houses. For us it has been
constant since he opened Nintendo 64 on Christmas of last year. Some
kids are fine on their own, others need other things>>
I'm not fortunate. I let them play out their desire.
Your situation has been constant because you make time limits.
If you let a kid eat two Halloween candies every night, he will eat it all.
If you let him eat all he wants, he'll likely throw a bunch away, or eat
some and let the rest sit.
Same with video games.
<< For him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself.>>
External controls are external controls.
Sandra
C. G. Bratton
Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that is
more open to discussion and less into bashing.
Catherine
SandraDodd@... wrote:
more open to discussion and less into bashing.
Catherine
SandraDodd@... wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> In a message dated 11/8/02 1:16:32 PM, brattonc@... writes:
>
> << These games can be saved more often than you think ...>>
>
> My kids have gameboys, NES, SNES, Super Nintendo, Game Cube,
> Playstation and
> PlaystationII.
>
> Some of the games are not always right near a saving point, or you
> have to go
> back a whole level.
>
> When I say "save" I mean they save all the progress they've made.
>
> Sandra
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 1:55:38 PM, brattonc@... writes:
<< Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that is
more open to discussion and less into bashing. >>
It seemed that you and your son were not happy about the situation, and at
our house we have found something that eliminates the problems you were
having.
Other families have tried and had similar results.
That's not bashing.
Sandra
<< Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that is
more open to discussion and less into bashing. >>
It seemed that you and your son were not happy about the situation, and at
our house we have found something that eliminates the problems you were
having.
Other families have tried and had similar results.
That's not bashing.
Sandra
Deborah Lewis
***Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that
is
more open to discussion and less into bashing.***
I'm sorry if you felt bashed. I thought it was a discussion.
Deb L
is
more open to discussion and less into bashing.***
I'm sorry if you felt bashed. I thought it was a discussion.
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 2:55:38 PM Central Standard Time,
brattonc@... writes:
~Nancy~ enjoying the peace.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
brattonc@... writes:
> Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that isWow! And I thought this was the nice, quiet, calm list! <g>
> more open to discussion and less into bashing.
> Catherine
>
~Nancy~ enjoying the peace.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Hartley
Well, as Sirrah the Border Collie said to Donald McCaig in the hereafter:
"Nobody gets all the Heaven they want." ;)
The poster has unsubscribed, unfortunately. But, as most of us know, once
ideas have entered our brains, even if we try to reject them, sometimes they
work themselves out into something positive after a time.
Let's hope that's the case here.
Man, am I sappy today or what? <g>
Pam, who starts a long jury trial next week as Juror #12, won't have much
time to post or even read. :/
----------
"Nobody gets all the Heaven they want." ;)
The poster has unsubscribed, unfortunately. But, as most of us know, once
ideas have entered our brains, even if we try to reject them, sometimes they
work themselves out into something positive after a time.
Let's hope that's the case here.
Man, am I sappy today or what? <g>
Pam, who starts a long jury trial next week as Juror #12, won't have much
time to post or even read. :/
----------
>From: Dnowens@...
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Video Game Advice
>Date: Fri, Nov 8, 2002, 2:50 PM
>
> In a message dated 11/8/02 2:55:38 PM Central Standard Time,
> brattonc@... writes:
>
>> Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that is
>> more open to discussion and less into bashing.
>> Catherine
>>
>
> Wow! And I thought this was the nice, quiet, calm list! <g>
> ~Nancy~ enjoying the peace.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
> > I find that my older son gets so wrapped up in this that he yells atMy 13 y.o. son's a lot like yours, only with Ultima Online. I used to sit
> > people who enter the room. He slams doors. He rants and paces. For
> > him, an external moderator helps him to calm himself. You are all so
and listen when someone would 'rip him off' or not hold up their end of a
bargain made on this supposed-to-be-for-adults online game
website. Crying, frustrated screaming, slamming doors, hitting things
(inanimate things), etc. Real tantrum behavior. He continued to get more
and more upset as this happened over and over again. I started talking
with the spouse about how maybe the boy wasn't ready for UO and maybe we
should stop 'letting' him play.
Finally, one day when I was really busy, with just half an ear, I listened
to him, said, 'wow, that gotta be really frustrating', and 'what are you
going to do about it?' He stomped off, took a several week break (not
mandated by us) and is now back in the game. Best of all, he's moderating
his own behavior when he gets frustrated and we don't have the
screamy-mimis any more.
Life rocks.
It seems to me that, in our case, my intervention was allowing his behavior
to continue. I supported it in some strange way... or maybe he'd just
coincidentally reached the point where he was ready to deal with his
frustration in a more mature manner.
As always, your mileage may vary,
Heidi
Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
At 12:55 PM 11/8/2002 -0800, you wrote:
that *so many* heritage unschoolers were saying essentially the same thing.
I'm also wondering if maybe her 'being right is important to you' and
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. (Any psych folk
here who would know the terminology?) You know, where I actually believe
that YOU are doing something, but actually it's ME that's doing it/behaving
that way.
What's that called?
Heidi
>Being right is important to you. I'll take my family to a list that isWow, so she's unsubbed. Okay, her decision. I thought it was fascinating
>more open to discussion and less into bashing.
>Catherine
that *so many* heritage unschoolers were saying essentially the same thing.
I'm also wondering if maybe her 'being right is important to you' and
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. (Any psych folk
here who would know the terminology?) You know, where I actually believe
that YOU are doing something, but actually it's ME that's doing it/behaving
that way.
What's that called?
Heidi
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/7/02 9:03:19 PM Pacific Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
find games on ebay and at used game stores. The Mario games seem to be good
for younger kids, Jonathan (4) loves playing them even if he can't actually
"beat" the game.
I make sure I am responsible for keeping the games safe and organized even
though both kids are pretty good about being careful with them.
Kris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Since they're young, I would go with Nintendo. I'd get a Nintendo 64 forI concur on this. Toys R Us recently had new systems for $60 and you can
> them (Holly concurs) which you can probably buy used and also you can get
> LOTS of used games which will be good for kids.
>
find games on ebay and at used game stores. The Mario games seem to be good
for younger kids, Jonathan (4) loves playing them even if he can't actually
"beat" the game.
I make sure I am responsible for keeping the games safe and organized even
though both kids are pretty good about being careful with them.
Kris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah Lewis
***I'm also wondering if maybe her 'being right is important to you' and
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. (Any psych
folk
here who would know the terminology?) You know, where I actually believe
that YOU are doing something, but actually it's ME that's doing
it/behaving
that way.
What's that called?***
Crazy?
That's projection. You were right. See how smart you science types are?
Deb L
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. (Any psych
folk
here who would know the terminology?) You know, where I actually believe
that YOU are doing something, but actually it's ME that's doing
it/behaving
that way.
What's that called?***
Crazy?
That's projection. You were right. See how smart you science types are?
Deb L
Deborah Lewis
***Wow! And I thought this was the nice, quiet, calm list! <g>***
Sorry Nancy. = (
Deb L
Sorry Nancy. = (
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 5:19:58 PM, heidi@... writes:
<< It seems to me that, in our case, my intervention was allowing his
behavior
to continue. I supported it in some strange way... or maybe he'd just
coincidentally reached the point where he was ready to deal with his
frustration in a more mature manner.
As always, your mileage may vary, >>
Very true about mileage may vary.
In light of the recent dust-up, though I'd like to suggest that anyone whose
VW is getting only two miles to the gallon has a problem, and anyone whose VW
goes 80 miles to the gallon might be exaggerating!! There is a range...
It does seem like sometimes they just want someone to say something kinda
comforting or accepting.
Kirby used to rant some. I'd try distraction, like "Do you want to take a
break and play with the dog?" Sometimes just remembering we HAD a dog was
enough of a reality check for him to take a breath. And "No, I want to keep
working on this game" was an acceptable answer.
Sandra
<< It seems to me that, in our case, my intervention was allowing his
behavior
to continue. I supported it in some strange way... or maybe he'd just
coincidentally reached the point where he was ready to deal with his
frustration in a more mature manner.
As always, your mileage may vary, >>
Very true about mileage may vary.
In light of the recent dust-up, though I'd like to suggest that anyone whose
VW is getting only two miles to the gallon has a problem, and anyone whose VW
goes 80 miles to the gallon might be exaggerating!! There is a range...
It does seem like sometimes they just want someone to say something kinda
comforting or accepting.
Kirby used to rant some. I'd try distraction, like "Do you want to take a
break and play with the dog?" Sometimes just remembering we HAD a dog was
enough of a reality check for him to take a breath. And "No, I want to keep
working on this game" was an acceptable answer.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 5:23:05 PM, heidi@... writes:
<< I'm also wondering if maybe her 'being right is important to you' and
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. >>
I thought "projection" when I summarized the situation in my mind earlier
today.
<< I'm also wondering if maybe her 'being right is important to you' and
'bashing' belief is transferral or projected or something. >>
I thought "projection" when I summarized the situation in my mind earlier
today.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/8/02 6:19:41 PM Central Standard Time, heidi@...
writes:
screaming-mimis here and we also have the herky-jerky dance. Usually it is me
with the screaming-mimis <g> but when the kids do it they sometimes combine
it with the herky-jerky dance. Its really funny to see, much to the utmost
frustration of said dancer. <beg>
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Finally, one day when I was really busy, with just half an ear, I listenedThat is wonderful! BTW I thought your "screamy-mimis" was funny. We have the
> to him, said, 'wow, that gotta be really frustrating', and 'what are you
> going to do about it?' He stomped off, took a several week break (not
> mandated by us) and is now back in the game. Best of all, he's moderating
> his own behavior when he gets frustrated and we don't have the
> screamy-mimis any more.
>
> Life rocks.
screaming-mimis here and we also have the herky-jerky dance. Usually it is me
with the screaming-mimis <g> but when the kids do it they sometimes combine
it with the herky-jerky dance. Its really funny to see, much to the utmost
frustration of said dancer. <beg>
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]