One of the first rules of charities is "Don't tick off the volunteers."

*Trust* that people are offering what they believe will help. (They *do* offer what has helped others.)

People offer what they know how to offer. They offer their help freely and joyfully with the belief that what they say might help someone. People who offer psychoanalytic type response do so because that's what comes naturally to them.

If it's not helpful to you, honor the honest intent and just skip those responses. (Or step back and try to figure out why they are getting the impression they are.)

If you can't find the type of responses you like, it might be good to shop around. Not everyone likes the clothing at Hot Topic. It's polite to go to a store that matches your style.

It is helpful to keep in mind that people respond to the words written, not to the situation in your home. If people are getting a different impression than you expect, it's coming from the words used. The words are all people have to go by in this medium.

If responses aren't what you expect, it's good to examine your words to see what picture you're painting for others. If you think you're painting with yellow and people are pointing out what looks to them like black spots, there's a reason they're seeing black spots. They aren't trying to be mean. And insisting you're only using yellow doesn't make the black spots go away.

Joyce, on Radical Unschoolers Network (now-defunct forum)

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Confidence or arrogance? Learning to read on the list (about benefitting from unschooling discussions)