I remember debating, or rather trying to argue, on this list about the Asperger' label given to my son. It really stuck fast in my mind causing me to view anything and everything related to my son with that label in mind. I was just learning about unschooling and this label was another reason I had problems really getting the unschooling concept.

In talking to other parents and reading books about Aspergers, I was positive that unschooling was not a good thing for my son. All I could focus on was what he couldn't do. It took me a while to realize that thinking was hindering not only my understanding of unschooling, but affecting my relationship with my son. All people are unique and our lives can be so much better when we focus on the things we can do and want to do.

My son Drew is about to turn 10 and was diagnosed with mild to moderate autism when he was 2.5. My second son Josh is 6 and is not autistic. We started Drew in public school at age 3, went to school-at-home mid-way through K, and then moved to unschooling in December of 2008. Josh has never been to school, and did a smidge of school-at-home for a few months but *refused* to do the work I set for him - I credit Josh for really opening our eyes to the joys of unschooling. :)

Drew is definitely still in deschooling mode (as are the rest of us!), but his sweetness and passion for life has come back *so* strongly since we started living this unschooling life. I won't say we are 100% radical unschoolers, we just do better each day than the day before and strive to be more connected to one another, respectful of each other, and joyful in general.

I also used to believe that, because of his autism, Drew 'needed' structure and schedules. We've tried many types of ways to schedule our days, and what I found more often than not was that the constant transitioning - imposed by someone outside of himself - was horribly stressful for him. When he is allowed to go with his *own* flow, ah! Peace! We certainly still have to work around the needs of other people in the family, but he is *so* much more flexible now that he is in control of the majority of his day. We definitely still have our difficult times, unschooling hasn't 'fixed' the stresses, sensory challenges, social confusion, etc. But it *has* helped, because we're all more relaxed and connected.

I've also found that, in the past several months, I'm seeing just *Drew* almost all the time. I used to see 'my autistic son Drew'. He's just himself now, in my eyes. It's a beautiful thing for me to experience again.

Originally on FamilyRUN.ning, Radical Unschooler Network

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