This concerns the idea of what people "have to" do, and also how a person gets from one point to another in the understanding of what unschooling isn't and is. —Sandra

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Sheila/Sheran wrote, on the UnschoolingDiscussion list:

"I think though, that some people start out being argumentative but then end up being convinced in the end. I know I came here several years ago and was argumentative several times. For me, the big thing to get over was the idea that I *had to* do certain things to make sure they grew into good Christian kids. I thought I *had to* at least make them go to church and Sunday School, do devotions with them daily, memorize some memory verses, make them do Bible studies.

"When I got here and people said 'No, you don't "have to",' I reacted in an argumentative way. Not because I wanted to argue, not because I didn't want to unschool. I was just shocked and my arguing was a result of that shock. It was my brain's reaction to trying to take in the extreme opposite of all the things I've ever been told about how to parent. The arguing was the outward sign that my belief system was being shaken to the core and that it was uncomfortable (but necessary) for me.

"I don't know if I could've gotten to the point I'm at if I hadn't argued with some people on this list. I gave them my best argument, and they gave me their best argument in return, and it caused me to think about things REALLY hard. Much harder than if I'd just read the stuff in a FAQ or in archives."

Sheila

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More on getting over "have to" and making real choices *** seeing unschooling

unschooling itself *** parenting considerations for unschoolers