Responsibility for SiblingsI personally think itís a big mistake to give a child the responsibility for their sibling, even if itís only implied. (Itís actually a pet peeve of mine.) If she is having issues with him, if she feels like (even if youíve never said) responsible for him or if she feels crowded out by him, or bothered by him, I think it would benefit you all to try to keep them separate for a while. She needs to have her own private space for her stuff and her friends away from him. I am sure that on some level she felt replaced by him. Even though she is the big sister she needs to be treated like the little kid she still is too. Nine is still pretty young. Your dd didnít order a little brother to take care of or be followed around by and even if she thought it was a great idea at the time, she was too little to make that decision and know how it would affect her. If she had enough space of her own and attention for herself, she wouldnít feel the need to be mean to him in a sneaky way. It sounds like her cup is not full on an emotional level.
Angela S. (game-enthusiast)
From outside the unschooling realm, consider this: Siblings Without Rivalry, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.